Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, or any associated characters or concepts. Quotes in this chapter taken directly from The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien.

Note: Growing up with my sisters, we had a hate/love relationship until we had each grown up and moved out on our own. It was only then, when we were mature, that we became really good friends. That's what I'm envisioning for Fili and Kili. Fili likes to tease his little brother and takes pride in being the Heir, and getting to meet and do lots of things before Kili does. Kili is jealous, and tries to prove that he is just as good or better than his brother. They antagonize each other, and it drives everyone crazy.

Summary: On the way to the Undying Lands, Billa is eaten by a time-traveling sea monster. The elves on board attack the monster in retaliation, and it escapes by swimming into the past: several decades into the past. Billa wakes up in a sweat, gasping and frightened, only to realize that she is back in her thirty-three-year old body. What on earth is she going to do?


Chapter 11

Billa was very pleased with herself as she walked away from Thorin's forge. Despite his silent dismissal at the end, the rest of the encounter had gone really well. She hadn't burst into tears at seeing him alive, nor cringed away from his bulk in memory of his gold-madness. Most importantly, she hadn't given in to the ever-present urge to touch him. His chest had hair growing on it, she remembered. It's odd, and yet, enticing.

She had gotten what she really wanted, which was to have her dwarves passing through and get a chance to befriend them, while it looked like she had gotten something she could plausibly want- business with the dwarves and protection on her journey. Thorin had gotten what he wanted, which generally tended to be food, shelter, and wealth for his people. Everyone was happy, and Billa was content with the world. The sun was high in the sky, and she decided to celebrate with lunch.

She walked back to the Prancing Pony, and lo and behold, there was Kili at one of the tables! And who should be beside him but a golden-haired Fili, young and impressionable and just barely starting to grow his mustache. Weren't they just adorable? Mother-bear Dis was nowhere to be seen, so Billa felt it safe to approach when Kili noticed her and waved her over.

"Miss Baggins!" he cried, and he jumped up to bow over her hand again.

"I am in disguise, Mister Kili," she reminded him gently. "Please, call me Mister while there are others about."

He blushed at the mistake, and made to apologize, but she waved him off. "Don't worry Mister Kili! No harm done. Who's your friend? You must be related, for he's almost as handsome as you are." Kili blushed again and rubbed at his chin, ever-conscious of his beardless face but pleased at her compliment.

"Fili, at your service Mister Boggins," Fili said with a bow.

Billa smiled beautifically. "Please, it's Baggins. Pleasure to meet you, Fili."

A glint of mischief was in Fili's eye as he leered at her. "I'm pleased to meet you too, Mister Boggins, Kili has told me so much about you."

"I'm afraid Mister Kili hasn't mentioned you, Mister Folly. What lovely braids you have. I know many Shire lasses who would love to know your secret for keeping them so shiny and neat. Are you willing to share it with me?" Billa asked with the sweetest smile on her face. If he was going to get her name wrong, she would return the favor with interest.

Fili got into the spirit of this. His hair was really quite lovely by dwarven standards, and he knew it. Praise was sure to follow. He was the Heir, after all, and the prime example of what a good dwarf should be at his age. "What, only Shire lasses would admire my braids? What about the lads? I'm sure they've never seen anything so fine," he said proudly.

Billa was ready to knock him down a peg. "No, Mister Folly. The lads have never seen anything so fine either. Only, males wear short hair in the Shire, so the lasses will want your hair secrets, and the lads will try to kiss you!" She patted his hand gently after implying that his hair (which was his masculine pride and joy) made him look like a girl in her eyes, and then left him to deflate while she turned her attention to Kili.

"So tell me, Mister Kili," she said, "I hope you weren't in too much trouble last night. Is everything all right, or should I expect to be chased away from you with a broom if someone sees me?"

Kili laughed and his cheeks went a little pink. "Not too much trouble," he said, "I'm just doomed not to be left on my own until we leave Bree." He shrugged, "So I'm stuck with this guy." Here, he elbowed Fili, who elbowed him back, and they fell into a little tussle. Billa cleared her throat a few times before they settled down, sending each other irritated looks and noises. Billa decided she really needed to step in. Their little sibling animosity was not what she was used to, and she found it a little ridiculous.

"Lads," she said, "Are you bound to the premises, or are you free to escort me around Bree?"

They shot glances at each other, shrugging. "We are free to leave the premises, so long as Kili is not left on his own," Fili said sternly, a younger, golden-haired version of Thorin.

Billa laughed at the thought. "Wonderful!" she said gaily. "I'll be accompanying you for part of the journey west, and seeing as I've never traveled with a group before, I really have no idea what I ought to pack. I don't want to be a burden, you know. Will you be using ponies?" As she said all this, she was skipping around the table and tugging first Kili from his seat, and then Fili. They trailed after her, her large and hairy ducklings.

They spent the next several hours ensuring Billa would have everything she needed on the journey. She got a few extra satchels to use for saddle-bags, some handkerchiefs, and the boys advised her on the best travel rations to get. She, in turn, noticed that their shirts and cloaks were a little threadbare, more so than she remembered. Perhaps it was a hard year for them? She therefore made a fuss about how it is a hobbit tradition to give gifts when someone has helped you out, or you've made a new friend, and she gave them each a half-pouch and insisted they pick out whatever they wanted from the stores.

When they started to eye the rations store, she stopped them by grabbing their hands and exclaiming, "But first, lunch! I've only been here in Bree for a few days. Where is the best place to eat? My treat!"

Now, it must be said that Thorin or perhaps even Dis would view this as charity, get very angry, throw the gold at her head and then storm away. Fili and Kili, however, were growing boys with growling stomachs, and weren't nearly so immune to her charms. Fili hesitated, and started to object, but Billa would have none of it.

"Isn't it exciting to be so far from home? I have to tell you, this is the furthest from the Shire these feet have ever walked! Do dwarves eat differently than hobbits do? We have six meals a day and still room for tea! I really am starving, lads. And food is always best when you can share it with a friend! I don't know if I'm supposed to tell you this, but I know you both can keep a secret." She pulled them in closer, bright eyes gazing up into their bemused ones. Chatterbox mode was really, really effective on these two, it seemed.

"The secret is," she whispered, "that Thorin has agreed to let me host you at my smial in the Shire for a few days on the journey west!" She tugged them along to a friendly-looking pub. "Isn't that so exciting?" she exclaimed. "I'm so nervous. What do dwarves usually prefer to eat? Tell me what I should expect? Mister Kili here is the first dwarf I ever met, you know. I heard a rumor that dwarves don't have furry feet like mine, so they have to take fur from something else to wrap their feet in! Why do you wear boots? What do boots feel like?" By now they were sitting down, and Fili was too dazzled to keep objecting.

"Three hobbit-sized platters of whatever is on the menu today, thank you," she informed the serving lad. He nodded and swept away to prepare her order. She turned back to the lads. "I'll show you what I mean about hobbit appetites! If you two can finish every crumb from your meal today, I'll do your chores on the journey to the Shire. If you can't, you'll each have to teach me something different about Dwarven culture, history, or a member of your group for every day of the journey. Deal?"

Fili snorted. He especially was known to have a good appetite when food was plenty. He was certain he could blow this little hobbit lass out of the water. "Deal," he said, cutting off Kili who had been about to decline. Kili had a little more experience with Miss Baggins than Fili did, and he figured she wouldn't bet anything unless she was sure she could win.

The platters came out, and Fili and Kili gaped. Billa smiled innocently at them before digging into her meal. An hour later, she was watching and laughing as Fili tried to bring another forkful to his mouth. "'M so full," he groaned.

Kili, who had long since given up and had his leftovers put in a box for later, smirked at him. "Just give it up, brother. I want to go buy some new things, and I can't until you give up!"

Fili groaned, utterly defeated. "Never gonn bet 'gainsta hobbit 'gain," he slurred. He looked thoroughly miserable, and Billa laughed. Her platter was entirely clean - she had eaten every last crumb, and by so doing won the bet. She waved the server over and asked for another box before hustling them out of the restaurant. Fili lagged behind, clutching his stomach.

It was early afternoon, now, and suddenly there was Thorin, marching down the street towards them. His face was thunderous, and she clutched her walking stick closer, trying to stifle the urge to hide behind Kili and hope for the best. At least he was fully-clothed.

"Mister Thorin!" she called, "How nice to see you again!" It was just now that Fili let out another groan, holding his stomach tenderly. Thorin's eyes shot to Fili, and then narrowed.

"What's wrong with him?" he bellowed at her. Billa nudged Kili, and there was a poorly concealed laugh as he answered. "He tried to out-eat a hobbit! We have leftovers," Kili grinned and lifted his box. Billa, recognizing Thorin's reddening face as a sign of impending temper tantrum against charity in the form of free food, interjected.

"It's hobbit tradition to make a meal for a new friend. I don't exactly have access to a kitchen, so this was the best I could do." He glowered at her, but his face was not so red now. The disaster was averted, and she decided to push her luck.

"Will you be my friend, Mister Thorin?" She batted her eyelashes, just a little. Thorin stared at her for a moment, icy blue eyes looking straight through her, before looking away and ignoring her entirely.

"Fili, Kili, with me. Your mother is looking for you." He took them by the scruff of the neck and herded them away like wayward kittens. Billa rolled her eyes and called after them.

"It was nice to see you again, Mister Kili! It was nice to meet you, Mister Fili! Goodbye, Mister Thorin!"