I'm a rotten little stinker, letting you all hang like that… This might help explain why Eames was so nervous when Bobby went off on Ross and Rodgers, And why Goren felt so betrayed by Eames, Cause things are getting a little too personal in our favorite detectives space. Thanks for the reviews folks…Good or bad ,keep em' comin'
There was this old song by the Jayhawks that reminded me of Bobby and I. It's called Blue and the lyrics tell me the story of two people fused together because everyone seems to fall away. That song has been wearing groves in my mental record player that past few days. I was thinking about it when my partner called at 9pm on a Friday night and told me he was outside my home.
Why, I wasn't really sure.
I've never really sought shelter in the knowledge that Robert Goren might feel for me the same way I do for him. First I assumed Bobby was too eccentric for a relationship, then I figured he was too intelligent. At some point I assumed he was too complicated and lately I knew he was too tragic. Even though I owned volumes of Goren born fantasies in my mental rolodex, I could never really peg down a specific day or event where I'd be allowed to let my feelings be known, to have them count for something.
I unlocked my door and allowed Bobby to enter. His eyes were red ringed. I wondered if he'd been crying. He smelled of cigarettes and it masked that typical Bobby smell of soap and male-ness. I loved that smell…..
"What's going on Bobby?" I folded my arms across my chest, another nighttime outfit of tight shorts and tank top adorned my figure. This time I wasn't so much at ease with the exposure.
"Ea….Alex….." He trailed off. "I didn't mean that today. About you taking their side…. I know that's not true and…."
"I know Bobby, it's okay. It was a shock to all of us…. Nicole…. Well I always figured one of us would have to kill her." I kept my tone gentle and tried to form a smile, but I was tiring a little of being so politically correct.
As always my psychic partner senses my angst and replies accordingly.
"It's always okay, isn't it Eames?" Bobby's tone changed a little, he adopted a more dominant posture and stepped closer to me. I felt goose bumps break out along my arms.
"What do you mean Bobby? I'm tired and I'm not sure I'm up for this tonight….."
"What about you Eames? Are you okay? I've been meaning to be better about asking you that more often."
I wasn't sure if Bobby was being sarcastic or not. I played along as if he were sincere.
"I'm fine Bobby, I just worry about you. I can't…… I know this has been…."
I couldn't find the words so I took the coward's route and turned, walking toward my couch and out of Bobby's shadow. I needed to collect my thoughts.
I faced him again. "I just want to help you. That's all I've ever wanted Bobby. I'm your partner. It matters to me…. All of this…..this mess, your brother. We need to get to the bottom of this. For you….for both of us okay."
Bobby followed me over to the couch. I was in his shadow again and I could see that he was indeed crying. He was actually letting me bear witness to his genuine emotions. I'm not sure if this was an intimate gift or some horrid curse. I felt like it could be a little of both. There he stood, six foot three inches, two hundred some odd pounds of unending tragedy.
What the hell was I supposed to do?
What the hell would you do?
I wrapped my arms around him, practically throwing myself into his girth, like a football player throws themselves at a tackle dummy. I squeezed him as hard as my short arms could muster. My head landing square against his heart. Trying desperately not to make this the least bit seductive, I brought my hands up to his head and stoked his hair. I felt Bobby sob and with each earth shaking cry he sunk further and further down on me. Once I could hold his weight no longer, we both slid to the floor, still in an embrace when we landed. At this level it was easier for me to comfort him. I said nothing, but slowly brought his head down into my lap. I stroked his hair and his neck and his tears for what felt like hours. My mind numb, my heart bleeding.
Eventually Bobby fell asleep, head still resting in my lap. As much as I didn't want to disturb him, my back was aching. I gently slid his head off my lap and onto a sofa pillow. Then I successfully curled myself against him on the floor. My back to him, we were positioned like two spooning lovers. I silently cursed myself for enjoying the closeness that Bobby's breakdown provided. Before I could continue that thought, Bobby wrapped his arm around my midsection and pulled me further into him. I grabbed onto his arm like a kid grabs the lap bar of a roller coaster. I felt his face bury itself in my hair, his nose brushing over my neck. I began to feel the first stirrings of my arousal,
Then it happened……
"I love you Alex."
His words barely audible, whispered into my neck. I could feel his hot breath pour over me like molasses.
My first response was to keep absolutely still. Like somehow, if I didn't move, everything would be okay. Bobby wouldn't run away or feel regret that he said those words to me. Then I felt his body tense around mine and I knew there was no turning back….
I had to say it.
"I love you too, Bobby."
He relaxed and squeezed my midsection harder. At that moment, I felt his erection pressing against my back and there was no mistakening my response to all this closeness. When Bobby relaxed his grip a little, I took the opportunity to turn around and face him.
I always thought our first kiss would be precipitated by alcohol, not tragedy. My fantasies usually had us standing, not laying. His apartment, not mine. But I'll take what I can get…. My apartment, on the floor, in front of the couch……Whatever….
We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. And I remember thinking how Bobby always was beautiful to look at, in all his incarnations. Even now, after death had been his sidecar companion for months…. He was beautiful.
Those were my last thoughts before his lips came crashing down on mine. He was all stubble and fullness and very little tongue. We rained kisses down each other's faces and necks. Our pecks more comforting, than seductive. But the result was that same for me regardless and I almost became a little uncomfortable with the level of arousal I was experiencing.
We both paused for a moment to come up for air. Bobby had that look now. The one where he expected the other shoe to drop. He held my gaze with that look and asked me the inevitable Bobby question…..
"Please Alex….. This isn't out of pity, is it?"
I felt bold and maybe it was a mistake. Only time will tell. But I took Bobby's hand and gently led it down to my shorts. I pulled forward the waistband and guided him in, pushing his hand along my soaking wet core.
"Does that feel like pity, Bobby?"
Like the expert I always imagined him to be, Bobby's fingers immediately curled in response to my wet and swollen folds. He applied pressure with his palm as he delicately worked his fingers along all the most sensitive areas. I gasped and sank my head into his collarbone. His rubbing became harder and two of his fingers had now wound their way inside of me.
"Oh my god….. Bobby!" I could barely catch my breath and knew I was about a millisecond away from the most gut wrenching orgasm of my life.
"Alex…. Look at me. I want to see you" Bobby's breathing was labored as he made his request.
I looked up at him and no longer saw the hangdog expression of defeat.
No, this was a man on a mission…..
His eyes were dark, filled with passion and lust. We locked gazes and I knew I better not break the stare. Or I just might lose the best orgasm of my life. I liked this type of confidence on Bobby. He wore it so well.
He began to thrust his fingers harder, bending them just right. His palm applying perfect pressure. My pelvis started to rock involuntarily and I jolted forward as every muscle in my body clenched, then released. I called out Bobby's name over and over and over as I fell into him. Unending spasms rippling through my mid-section like tidal waves….over and over. Until I was filled with nothing but a peaceful calm.
Bobby ran a hand his hand through my hair and I could smell my sex on him. The mixture of our pheromones was intoxicating. Made me feel like I was ready to go again. I snaked my hand down to his erection, but surprisingly he grabbed it and pulled it away.
"Bobby…. It's your turn." I pouted. "I want to make you feel like you made me feel. I want to show you how much I love you…."
It amazing how an orgasm acts as truth serum.
"You just did Alex…. You just did." He kissed me gently and motioned with his expression that he felt sleep was the next appropriate task at hand.
"Well at the very least , let's go to bed." I knew Bobby's and my backs weren't up for a night on the floor.
We then shifted slowly to my bed. I helped Bobby out of his clothes and despite my body's protests, I did it modestly.
Curling up under the covers, we knew there wasn't much time before our bliss was shattered by daylight and an alarm clock.
