Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, or any associated characters or concepts. Quotes in this chapter taken directly from The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien.

Summary: On the way to the Undying Lands, Billa is eaten by a time-traveling sea monster. The elves on board attack the monster in retaliation, and it escapes by swimming into the past: several decades into the past. Billa wakes up in a sweat, gasping and frightened, only to realize that she is back in her thirty-three-year old body. What on earth is she going to do?


Chapter 14

Thorin spent the next two hours hiding in his room, brooding and filled with self-loathing. He only left when Dwalin finally came to drag him out of his misery. The walked out of the gates,then found a clearing outside Bree to spar.

Thorin was so frustrated and angry that he fought rather more recklessly than was safe, and if Dwalin hadn't been as skilled as he was, he would have been dead several times over. In a usual spar, they would fight for a half hour or so, but this was no normal spar. Thorin needed to vent his rage and his energy, and this fight went on for hours.

Dwalin called a halt when the sun was high overhead and they were both dripping with sweat and gasping with exertion. Dwalin made sure they both drank some water, but after only a few moments, Thorin's fury and humiliation returned full-force, and he was ready to fight again. Dwalin groaned.

"Thorin, I will not spar with you any longer today, but I will go back to Pony and send along someone else to spend your temper on," Dwalin said, concerned for his shield-brother's well-being. Thorin hadn't fought like this since... well, since the Battle of Azanulbizar. As much as he wanted to reassure his King, he knew that Thorin would not be able to speak of what ailed him until he had thoroughly exhausted himself.

Dwalin hastened back to the Prancing Pony. Thorin had come from Ered Luin with Dis, Fili, Kili, Oin, and two guards, and it was those two guards, Boris and Noris, that Dwalin sent back to Thorin to be used as chew-toys. Hopefully, they could entertain him for a few hours more. Thorin was tired enough that the guards should be able to fight him without truly risking their lives. They might lose a limb, but they wouldn't lose their lives..

Being a loyal friend, Dwalin set out to investigate what had sent his king and friend into such a state. His first clue was Kili, sitting in the public rooms by himself, looking a little green around the edges. It had been Kili who had first informed Dwalin that Thorin needed him, and he had been looking nauseous then, too.

Dwalin, having learned from experience that intimidation only went so far with a son of Durin, didn't try to loom or threaten to get information. He clapped the lad gently on the back and led him out of the Pony, down to the other end of Bree and out the gates to do some light weapons practice. The royals were tough- if they felt threatened, not a word would pass their lips. It was only by earning their trust and friendship that Dwalin had come to be a confidante, and Kili desperately needed a confidante.

After carefully working through a series of forms designed to teach stances and blocks, Kili paused.

"Dwalin?" he asked tentatively, "Is Uncle Thorin all right?"

Dwalin was an honest creature, and told Kili the truth. "I don't know lad," he admitted. "I haven't seen him fight like this since he was in his fifties, in real war. What's happened, Kili?" Dwalin pressed.

Kili looked down. "You know Miss Baggins?" he said softly.

"Aye, lad, I know of her," said Dwalin.

"Well," Kili said, "Uncle seemed to be making advances towards her, and... not the proper kind. She's only just come of age, you know," he said, looking up earnestly, "and yesterday, Uncle flustered her so badly that she actually ran away, and I didn't see her for hours. She asked me for advice, and I explained to her what you and Uncle Thorin told me, about displaying your body and what that means." Dwalin closed his eyes. It wasn't uncommon among dwarves to remove a few layers and display some skin to someone they wanted to seduce. Such things were rarely done in a courtship, but for those simply looking for physical companionship. On the other hand, Thorin spent all day working up a sweat in a hot forge. He may have simply been over-heated and taken off his shirt. Dwalin could easily see how this could have spiraled out of control.

"So I decided to talk to Uncle Thorin," Kili continued. "He came back from the forge almost immediately after he left, he took me by surprise. He already looked furious, but I knew I had to say my piece. I told him she deserved to be treated better, and that I'd never seen him try to make a female uncomfortable before, and that I didn't like it. I went on to explain, but he cut me off and told me he loved me, but I had better leave before he was tempted to hit me. Then he told me to find you. That's all I know, Dwalin." Kili hung his head. "Did I do wrong, Dwalin? Will Uncle Thorin ever forgive me?"

Dwalin sighed, and sat down with his back against a tree, and tugged Kili down to sit as well.

"Kili," he said, trying to channel Balin and choose his words carefully, "Whether your uncle was over-heated in the forge, or whether he was trying to proposition Miss Baggins, I do not know." He sighed and closed his eyes. "I think your heart was in the right place, lad. It is right to defend a female's honor, and it's especially right when the one you think is taking advantage of her is a powerful dwarf. No matter what his intentions were, Thorin was terribly embarrassed, and no dwarf can bear that easily. He will fight and stew for several days, lad, but you're still his nephew, and he cares for you. Do not worry too much, laddie. It'll all work out," Dwalin finished, rather proud of his little speech. He could see Kili considering his words.

Dwalin clapped him on the back again, and helped him up.

"Come on, lad," he said, "Let's get back to the Pony. I've some errands to run, and you've got a lot to think about."

After leaving Kili with Dis at the Prancing Pony, Dwalin went up to the forge where Thorin had spent only a few minutes before storming back. It was empty, but as he peered inside, he saw an overturned basket, with pastries, a flask, a smashed vial, and little fruits littering the floor. How curious. Against the wall was a crumpled letter. Dwalin picked it up and smoothed it out, before carefully reading it.

Dear Mister Thorin,

I was very confused as to why you continually exposed yourself to me despite my obvious reticence, and when I asked your nephews, they explained the significance. Why I am very flattered by your repeated request for companionship, I must decline. It just wouldn't be proper. I mean no insult, but I cannot accept your sexual proposition. Such things are nearly unheard of in the Shire, after all, and my reputation would be ruined. I have every intention of waiting until marriage to engage in such acts, and I hope you can respect that.

Knowing that it must have taken a great deal of courage to make your request, and hoping to spare you the pain of future rejection, I have taken the liberty of assembling some ladies who would be interested in such a companionship with you. You are certainly a handsome dwarf, Mister Thorin, despite your advancing years, and I'm sure you're quite capable of winning one of these ladies over.

Having learned that a foul temper is common for a male who has gone too long without companionship, I have taken the liberty of making a reservation under your name for the night at the Prancing Pony, and included in the basket some things I'm told will help in this endeavor. Consider this a show of good-will, and I hope we can put this misunderstanding behind us.

I look forward to discussing business on the road, Mister Thorin. Have a wonderful day.

Dwalin couldn't contain a few snorts of amusement as he read through the letter.

Either the lass was a complete innocent with an unfortunate way with words, or she was a sharp-tongued damsel who had taken careful, creative revenge for her repeated embarrassment at Thorin's hands. In this letter, she had managed to reject something that Dwalin was fairly certain Thorin had never really been offering, and out-maneuver him so thoroughly that she'd probably never see him without a tunic again. She'd also managed to imply he needed help getting a woman, that he was old as well as foul-tempered, and that she thought he hadn't managed to get laid in a very long time. The reservation of a room under his name would have been adding insult to injury, and then coming back to Kili's confrontation must have been the last straw.

Dwalin read the letter twice more, laughing a little louder each time, before folding it and stashing it away in one of his inner pockets. This was a gem, and he was going to have to keep it. Thorin could get himself out of this trouble, and there was no real threat. And, Dwalin decided, the next time the lass invited him to lunch, he would definitely accept.

Miss Baggins: 2. Thorin: 2.