Roxanna hummed a sad song beneath her breath as she rinsed the conditioner from her hair. Despite Serena's encouraging words the previous day, she hadn't found herself being any happier, which disappointed her a little. Still, she had slept a little better, which was a good way to get her bearings back somewhat. Breaking off her song, she did a final rinse of her body before turning the water off and shaking the excess water off her body before opening the door and grabbing a towel, wrapping it around her body as she stepped out of the shower and walked over to the mirror, wiping it off with her hand before taking a look at her reflection.

"I look so sad," she murmured at her reflection, trying to smile. The halfhearted gesture never reached her eyes, and she let out a little sigh as she listened to her phone start to ring in the bedroom. Shaking her head a little, she hurried out to the nightstand and picked it up, a soft gasp escaping her lips when she saw Henrik's picture staring up at her, letting her know that he was finally reaching out. Fumbling with the device, she finally managed to answer the phone, putting him on speaker as she tried to catch her breath a little. "Hello?" she said, hating how airy her voice sounded.

"Roxanna, I, I was told that now might be a good time to get in touch with you. Serena mentioned that she thought you were in Chicago?"

A loud crack of thunder startled her, and she let out a muted screech as she unplugged the phone from the charger and walked over to the window, pulling back the curtains to reveal a sky full of the darkest clouds she had ever seen, lightning sparking here and there as rain pelted down. "I never told her where I was," she finally said, trying to keep her voice even.

"Well, no, just mentioned the time difference to her. I might have taken that and assumed you would be somewhere near water, and the way you just responded told me I had chosen the right city. But did you have to choose somewhere so far away?"

This was not how she had imagined their conversation going, and she took a deep breath as she thought of what answer to give him. "I finally took your advice and decided that I needed some time away from Holby, where I could find myself once more. It was obvious that I was focusing too much on John and all that."

She listened to him breathe in deeply. "Yes, about that. I took a look at the research you brought back, and after doing a little bit of confirmation myself, I took my concerns to Ms Tate and we decided that it would be best if John was asked to step away from the trial and hand over all his research to Guy Self and have him determine if the project is still feasible or if we have to disclose to the participants that there was a serious breach of ethics. And now, with him gone, you can come home?"

Another crack of thunder caused her to shudder, and Roxanna bit her lip a little as she took a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts before she answered him. "I'm doing really well out here, Henrik. But I will come home when I'm ready. I promise."

There was a long beat on his end of the line, and she licked her lips anxiously, knowing that he hadn't believed a word she had just said. "Roxanna, I still consider you to be a dear friend of mine, despite all the things that are currently broken between us. I know when you are trying to protect people from a truth you think they might not want to hear. What is really going on?"

Roxanna didn't want to drag him down into her depression, not when he had fought so hard to get back on even keel after what Frederick had done. She had been on his kill list, which was just another black mark against her, she thought. "I really wish that you would believe me, Henrik. I am completely fine. But would you tell me how Lofty and Dom are doing? I'm assuming they're busy, since he hasn't responded to any of my texts lately."

She thought she heard a faint tutting of his tongue, and she rolled her eyes a little as she drifted over to the bed and sat heavily on it, leaning against the headboard as she waited for him to respond. "Dominic has been busy under the load of taking on the responsibilities of running Keller, and Ben seems to be doing his best to support his fiancé. I would imagine that that is why you're not hearing from him, though I imagine that he, like me, would love to have some word from you."

There was a slight bit of censure in his tone, and she frowned deeply as she pulled her legs up to her chest as she took a few deep breaths. "Yes, well, perhaps I would have liked to have a text or email in response to my overtures."

She hadn't meant to sound so sharp, but his words had struck a nerve in her heart. "And some of us were trying to formulate what to say in response to the letter they received."

"What do you want from me, Henrik?!" she finally cried out, having reached her breaking point, fresh tears starting to run down her cheeks. "I poured my heart out to you, and then heard nothing back. Do you even know how that feels? To be so rejected by your closest friend? To think that you've irreparably broken something you desperately needed in your life? I'm drowning, Henrik, beneath waves of my own making, and I don't know how much longer I can keep my head above water."

Before he could say another word, she ended the call and buried her face in her hands, feeling herself start to weep as she ignored the sound of her ringtone, knowing that Henrik was trying to get ahold of her once more. She wouldn't dare talk to him again, not after she had just informed him of how much she was struggling. He didn't need any more burden added to him at this moment in time, she knew. Swiping her hands almost angrily at her eyes, Roxanna climbed off the bed and dressed as comfortably as she could before fleeing her room, knowing that she had to get to a safe space before did something drastic.

Stopping at the front desk, she collected herself as she waited to speak to the woman on duty. "Could you get a taxi to take me to Shedd Aquarium?" she asked shakily.

"Sure, just give me five seconds," the woman replied as she tapped away on her keyboard. "All right, the taxi will be here in about three minutes, just wait in the lobby until the doorman waves you outside. I hope you have an umbrella."

"I can handle a little rain," she murmured offhandedly, watching as the clerk shook her head and reached beneath her, making a loud clattering noise that only ceased when a triumphant smile crossed her lips. "What…?"

"Use my umbrella for the day. You can just leave it here if you get back after I'm off shift, but since I'm here until nine tonight, I don't think that will be an issue. All right?"

Roxanna knew that she couldn't refuse the offer, so she nodded a little before taking hold of the umbrella and making her way over to the doors, ready to escape, feeling like the darkest cloud in the sky was still hovering above her head.