Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, or any associated characters or concepts. Quotes in this chapter taken directly from The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien.
Random Recommendation: I have been enamored by phanton-lass's The Goblin Queen, which features fem!Bilbo as the queen of the Goblins in the Misty Mountains. My favorite favorite part ? (Spoiler) SHE AND AZOG HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE! Oh, gosh, somehow Azog is made believably adorable, even when he's sending her mutilated bodies as tokens of affection. I really, truly, desperately want her to write the story of Bilbo and Azog's 'courtship'. Forget about Smaug and the dwarves, I just want more Bilbo/Azog! Seriously, go read it. It's awesome. It will change your life! Kind of. You may suddenly find monstrous, murderous orcs to be mildly attractive and oddly endearing. You've been warned.
Note: I haven't been writing, because I got distracted. Reading about Guy of Gisborne, distant relative of Thorin's, and every time I settled down to write, I imagined Guy in armor and black leather, being wicked and devious and misguided and handsome, instead of Thorin. How could I write Thorin when I was thinking Guy? Then, I got caught up in Pride and Prejudice, and read that for several days. Finally, today I was reading Dante's Inferno, and since that has no handsome main characters, I was able to write in peace. Huzzah!
On the way to the Undying Lands, Billa Baggins is eaten by a time-traveling sea monster. She wakes up in her 33-year-old body and realizes she has a chance to change everything. Unfortunately, Thorin has a tendency to run around shirtless and Dis thinks she has improper designs on Fili and Kili, but if she can convince the Shire that Dwalin is a dance teacher, things might be okay.
Chapter 42
Thorin stifled a pained groan as he dismounted the pony. He had been on the road for a week, accompanied by Dwalin, several guards, and the wagons of supplies from the Shire. He'd been riding all this time, and his back ached because of it. This time, there were no hearty, tasty meals with too many greens cooked by handsome hobbit ladies who gathered their ingredients on the road. This time, there was dried meat, apples, and bread, as well as what little fresh meat they could hunt on the road. It was this disappointment, along with his aching back, that Thorin credited for his black mood.
It's the road and the food. It has nothing, he seethed to himself as he shot Dwalin a glare for clapping him on his sore back, nothing at all to do with the halfling.
Then, he was sitting down with food in hand and there was nothing to do except think of the halfling, his darling Billa, his hobbit princess. He gave a sigh, pretending that it sounded weary or brooding instead of merely forlorn. A king is never forlorn, he told himself half-heartedly. Whether that's because he has no feelings, or because he abducts the object of his affections so as not to be forlorn without her, is up to debate, he thought with a wry huff of breath. Would that he could kidnap Billa. Unfortunately, that would defeat the entire purpose of waiting the winter to see if they'd last.
Then the watch was set, and since he'd shared the watch last night, he got to sleep uninterrupted tonight. As he sprawled in his bedding, sword near at hand, he gazed up at the stars and thought of that magnificent creature who had softened his heart and changed his life.
He'd been furious to see her importuned, proud when she'd defended herself, and embarrassed when she'd made that comment about ears. A flicker of doubt had spread through him, and he'd wondered if his advances on her had been unwelcome, but she'd been too polite to say so, or afraid to say so because of his position and her inclusion in his family. He'd taken her aside and asked her, as humbly as he could, if he'd taken advantage of her. She'd stumbled and stuttered, and he felt his heart sink from embarrassment to agony, until she'd dragged him outside, pushed him into a bush, grabbed him by the braids and kissed him.
He gave another sigh, pretending it was a grumpy sigh and not a blissful sigh. Kings don't do blissful.
But, oh! how she'd kissed him. Gentle, and sweet, and soulful. And then they'd run their fingers through each other's hair, trailing their hands over ears and necks, stealing a few more kisses before setting back to Bag End. They'd strolled arm in arm under the stars, and Thorin had been too lost in her eyes to worry about where they were walking and yet somehow, he'd led them straight back to her home without a single detour. After she'd pecked an impertinent kiss on his nose, she'd skipped into her room and closed the door, and Thorin had gone to his own bed, sighing and smiling the whole way.
Their official goodbyes had been formal and officious, which was okay because they'd said goodbye thoroughly the night before on an evening picnic on top of Bag End. There had been wine, and pastries, and lots of laughter and teasing and kissing.
And now, here he was, cold, hungry, lonely and grumpy, on the road to Ered Luin as if he'd never deviated from the path between Bree and the Blue Mountains at all. As if there was no warm, welcoming, fruitful Shire that beckoned him, as if there was no laughing, loving princess who called him back, offering her heart and her devotion.
Thorin sighed again, gustily.
He fell asleep, thinking of the hobbit lass he wished was in his arms.
Dwalin grinned to himself as he watched Thorin, moping and sighing and trying to scowl. No matter how much he glared or grumbled, Thorin simply couldn't hide the truth from his oldest, closest friend. No matter what he claims, Dwalin thought gleefully, Thorin Oakenshield has fallen in love.
Dwalin smirked. Dis would be so delighted by this turn of events, and Dwalin had every intention of telling her so they could tease Thorin as much as possible.
Thorin sighed again, more gustily than ever, and Dwalin laughed heartily before trying to disguise it as a cough. The other dwarf on watch glanced at him with a wry smirk, and Dwalin could tell he was equally amused.
Thorin, Dwalin thought as he fought another chuckle rising from his chest, is never going to live this down... Thorin sighed again, a sleepy, dreamy smile on his face. ...Ever, Dwalin thought, grinning.
