Sorry for the long wait between updates, hope you guys enjoy chapter 9!
ERIN
I stand in front of the mirror in Jay's bathroom, dressed in a flannel button up and a pair of cropped leggings as I put the finishing touches on my makeup, hot nerves coursing through my veins.
"Hey," Jay says softly, standing behind me in the doorway, looking almost perfect in a white shirt and a pair of jeans. "You know you don't have to dress up,"
"I'm not dressing up," I insist as I close up the various containers in front of me, "but this is your sister, I'm not going to show up in a pair of sweats and a hoodie,"
"Alright," He says, backing away slightly, the distance between us I effectively established last night still making itself more than known. "I'm going to go make coffee, meet me in the kitchen when you're ready,
"I'll just be a minute," I say as he leaves, putting a final glaze of hairspray before taking a satisfied look at my reflection. I take a deep breath, tossing everything back into my cosmetic bag and shuffle across the hallway, slipping into my favorite pair of skinny jeans and a white top, throwing on a cropped black and white collarless jacket that Anna lent me, something that I would never pick out but that they all insisted looked good on me. I take a deep breath before swiping on a matte red lipstick and running my hands through my hair and doing one last look over, grabbing my bag and running down the stairs to meet Jay. I haven't been able to calm my nerves all night, my hand was shaking as I curled my hair, I have the angry red burn on my left hand to prove it. I just have to keep telling myself that if believes so hard that everything will be okay, there has to be some truth to it. I trust him. At least I think I do. What am I saying? I barely know him? It's been two weeks, but then again, it feels like I've known him my entire life. I don't know what to think.
Last night as I laid there in his arms, sleeplessly staring out to the darkness of the Potomac River, I tried to figure it out, running through every possible scenario in my head, weighing the pros and the cons, every single outcome. Every side was even, it didn't help, not even a little bit. But I did have to use more concealer than normal.
"Two sugars and cream," Jay says as he slides a white coffee mug along the white marble counters.
"You remembered," I say with a smile as I pull the mug to my lips.
"Told you I remember everything," He tells me with a smile as he takes a sip of his, no cream, one sugar. I remember that. We sit there for a minute, the silence in the room thick enough to cut with a knife.
"Jay I'm scared," I say, cracking the quiet right in two.
"Why?" He asks, looking at me as if he'd answered this question a hundred times.
"What do you mean why?" I ask.
"What are you scared of, exactly?" He says, articulating, every word full of intention.
"I don't know," I say exasperated, "Popping the bubble I guess,"
"What?" He asks, looking at me confused.
"Popping the bubble," I say again. "It's easy right now,"
"I wouldn't say that," He says as he looks over at me, keeping his demeanor as calm as ever.
"There's no one else involved, no one gets to have an opinion. It's just the two of us, our problems are our problems but we deal with them, just the two of us." I answer him. "A bubble."
"And?" He asks, urging me to continue.
"Letting your sister in complicates things, she gets an opinion now, she gets a say. And that scares me." I tell him, almost wanting to take back every word.
"Don't let it," He tells me.
"How?'
"Listen Erin, are you unsure about me?" He asks. No, I know exactly how I feel about him. It's just everything else that's the problem. If he wasn't who he was, I would have no reservations, if I wasn't who I am, I would have no reservations. If we were just two college kids, both from normal families in Chicago, I would be all in. But we're not normal, so I have to keep one foot out the door until I can find my footing, a footing that I'm confident won't fall out from under me.
"No," I tell him, "I am more sure about you than I have been about anything in a long time,"
"Then just focus on that," He says, flashing me that charming smile. "It's all going to be okay Erin, we'll make sure of it,"
"How?" I ask.
"Because," He starts, pausing for a second, "I believe in the good. I believe in the best possible scenario. And I know that you don't, which is okay. That just makes you human. But I believe in it enough for the both of us. So I just need you to hold on for a little while longer,"
I take a deep breath before answering him. I've never had this before, a guy willing to put everything on the line for me, riding up on a white horse and promising that everything is going to be okay.
"Just hold on?' I question.
"Just hold on."
"You ready for this?" Jay asks as we stand outside the front entrance of Abby's gorgeous Georgetown townhouse, Atwater and Dawson sitting in the car out front.
"No," I tell him, "But I don't think I have a choice do I,"
"The unfortunate truth," He says with a sad smile.
"Let's go," He says, taking my small hand in his, punching a code into a keypad and pushing open the front door of his sisters house, revealing a hallway that was about a hundred times warmer than I was expecting, a gallery of family pictures lining the walls and the tops of entrance tables. I recognize a few of Jay in high school, with most of them being photos of a baby who I'd assume is Abby's daughter.
"Jesus Jay, did I never teach you how to knock?" I hear from the kitchen, Abby's familiar voice filling the house in booms. I've heard her talk on TV before, her presence is just as assertive here as it is there.
"You gave me the door codes for a reason sis," He comments as he kicks off his shoes, gesturing for me to do the same.
"I should really think about changing those," She says with a smirk as she comes into view, baby girl on her hip. Wow she's tall. Really tall. Or I might just be short I don't know. But she's a presence, that's for sure, looking effortless beautiful in a navy blue three quarter sleeved dress, her short red locks just brushing the tops of her shoulders.
I'm not used to seeing her like this. She's seen as America's older sister, a universal figure head in American households, always there, standing there smiling next to her mother and father, doting husband on her arm and a giggly baby on her hip, the American ideal of a picture perfect family. Our nation loves her, she's wear something once and it sells out within hours, she wrote a book on the campaign that sold over a million copies. America loves Abigail Halstead Davis. But she was always just an idea, today she's a person. She's my boyfriend's older sister.
"Hey Abs," He says as he pulls into a hug, wrapping his arms around her as the little girl on her hip squeals.
"Hey little brother," She says, her face softening for just a second as she returns the embrace. "It's good to see you,"
"It's been two weeks," He points out.
"Two weeks is a long time," She says, still not making any kind of gesture to my presence. "Don't judge me,"
"No judgement," He says with a smile as he steps back to my place on the mat, wrapping his arm protectively around my waist. All I want to do is sink into him, but I force myself to stand tall. "And this is my girlfriend, Erin Lindsay,"
"Nice to meet you Erin," She says, her face turning back to her formerly stern expression as she shakes my hand, roughly I might add.
"You as well," I say as return the gesture, making sure to look her right in those fierce blue eyes, a nearly perfect match to her brother's.
"Let's head on back," She says, "Graham's finishing up breakfast, I planned on us eating out in the backyard,"
"Sounds good," Jay says, grabbing my hand and walking behind her. I can feel myself breathe in a sigh of relief, the ice has been broken. Or at least cracked. "You're doing great," Jay whispers to me as he squeezes my hand. I smile back at him as we walk through Abby's beautiful home, Emerson happily giggling on her mother's hip. Some of my nerves have dissolved, but Abby's less than warm demeanor towards me has raised a whole new set of nerves. But I have to give it to her, the girl can decorate a house.
"Really?" I respond quietly.
"You made it through the door babe," He says with a smile as he presses a kiss to the side of my head.
"I guess," I say as we fall back into an uncomfortable silence.
"Hey bro," Abby's husband Graham says as we walk through the french doors in the back of the house, setting out a plate of fruit on a table on the brick patio, a genuine smile on his face, dressed much more casually than Abby or me, in jeans and a button up, similar to Jay.
"What's up man," Jay says, leaving me and giving his only brother in law a hug, a huge smile on his face.
"And you must be Erin," He says, breaking from the hug and moving to shake my hand, Abby still standing awkwardly in front of us.
"It's very nice to meet you Graham," I say as I return the gesture.
"How was the flight over?" He says as he takes a seat at the table, the rest of us following his lead as Abby secures Emerson into a high chair.
"Wonderful," I say as I settle in, "I slept the entire way over,"
"Good," He says, "Fruit?"
"Please," I respond with a smile, taking a piece of melon from the plate, still not entirely comfortable in my surroundings.
"So," Abby says, her ice cold voice cutting right through the dialogue, "what are you majoring in?"
"Social work," I say, looking her right in the eyes as Jay pours iced tea into all of our glasses. "Minor in criminal justice,"
"The minor was encouraged by your father, I presume?" She asks. Her tone is perfectly fine, but for some reason, I still feel like she's trying to incriminate me. My suspicions are only confirmed when Jay raises his eyebrow at her.
"No," I respond shortly, "He actually advised against it. But I think that if I'm going to try to help these kids, I should know the good, the bad, and the ugly of the system they're all going to be thrown through,"
"And you think it's a default that the justice system will be involved?" She questions, not even looking at me as she passes a plate of waffles to her left.
"No," I say, determined to match her, but not stoop below. I am going to give her no reason to dislike me, I will be nothing but courteous and kind, Camille's long awaited ideal of the perfect lady. "But it's an unfortunate reality, that yes, a lot of the times it will,"
"Do you have any plans for after you graduate?" Graham asks lightly, trying to bring the mood up.
"I do actually," I tell him with a small smile, "I'm moving back to Chicago, I have a job set up with DCFS. I'm going on a trip with my roomates for a couple weeks, then I start the first of July."
"Where are you going?" Jay asks, this being one of the few things I've yet to mention to him.
"My friends Kim, Hailey, Gabby, and I are going island hopping in Greece," I tell him.
"Oh a couple of my buddies and I did that one summer in college," Graham says with a smile, "Make sure to stop by Folegandros, it's like Santorini but it's smaller and lesser known, so less touristy,"
"I'll make sure to take note," I tell him with a grin as Jay reaches over to grab my hand.
"So Abs, is Em any closer to walking?" Jay asks, trying to pull the subject away from me and if I've heard anything about Abby, talking about her daughter is always a popular top.
"You say the video I sent you last week, we are nowhere close," She says with a smile, her demeanor instantly changing with the subject. We get through the rest of breakfast, awkwardly, but we make it through, Graham and Jay working together marvelously to ensure that Abby and I never have a direct conversation, though her ice blue eyes and mine do connect a couple of times.
"G, can you watch Emmy for a minute, I just want to talk to Erin," Abby says as she pushes her chair out from beneath the table.
"Yeah of course," He says as he grabs Emerson out of her highchair, wiping the smashed fruit from around her face.
"You good?" Jay mouths to me as I remove myself from the table.
"It's okay," I mouth back, giving him a subtle nod.
"Be nice," I see Jay mouth to Abby, to which she responds with an eyeroll.
"C'mon inside," She says, her voice only slightly less icy than before.
"Okay," I say as I follow her, my hands folded softly in front of me.
"We can go sit in the sunroom," She offers.
"Sounds good," I say as I follow her nervously. I haven't directly spoken to her in awhile and now my buffers are gone, so I have absolutely no idea what she's going to say.
"So," She says, settling into an armchair as I cautiously sit on the couch opposite her. "Why you? My brother could have any girl in the country, why did he pick you?"
"You want the honest answer?" I ask with my left eyebrow raised.
"Give it to me," She says, giving me a look straighter than any I've seen.
"I have no idea." I tell her. "I have no clue why he gave me a second thought that night after the ball or why he put it upon himself to drag his butt out to Santa Barbara or put this much effort into me. But he did,"
"Yeah that's exactly what I said," She tells me, the first semblances of a smile on her lips. "I told him he was crazy. Of course he didn't listen to me, he did it anyway."
"I've noticed he has a tendency to do that," I say with a slight chuckle, my knees still pressed firmly together and my hands folded in my lap.
"Oh you have no idea," She says, her words urging us into an awkward silence. I smile at her strangely, pressing my lips together as I rock forward slightly.
"You couldn't tell me why he picked you," She says after what feels like an eternity, "but can you tell me why you're worth it?" I have to laugh, taking a deep breath and letting out a sigh before I answer her.
"Abby I'm not sure I am," I tell her with a shrug of my shoulders, "I wouldn't say that I'm worth all of this trouble. But he seems to think I am and I won't ever know what made him think that, but I just know that I'm lucky,"
"Can I be honest with you?" She asks, surprising me with her request for permission, though her tone is still more than stern.
"Of course,"
"Erin I really don't think this is going to work," She says. Okay, that one was a stab to the heart.
"Um why?" I ask, the only response I can formulate to her very blunt question.
"Jay told me about your past, your reluctance to the media."
"He told you that?" I say, leaning forward.
"Erin he told me everything," She assures me. "And I can look at this with fresh eyes. I want my brother to be happy, more than anything. But I don't want him to get hurt. You know that he falls fast and he falls hard, you've seen it, I know you have."
"But," I question, as I wait for her to drop the other shoe.
"You can't hide forever, the media will find you and this thing, what it is, will implode," She tells me. "It is nothing against you, I am sure you are lovely and I have seen nothing but to the contrary today, but my first concern is always my brother and the White House,"
"So?" I ask, nervously questioning what that means, though I know what she's going to say.
"I just can't accept this,"
Sorry about the cliffhanger guys! If you enjoyed this chapter, please let me know in the reviews! Thanks for reading!
xoxo,
Addie
