Hope you all enjoyed chapter 15! Sorry about the cliffhanger, but I hope this makes up for it. Happy reading!
JAY
I barely slept last night. I don't know if I regret what I did. Well I know I don't regret leaving, but my delivery could have been better. I have every intention of going back, but I need some time, to breathe.
I think I deserve at least that. She can't drop a bomb on me like that and just expect me to be completely okay. Her dad may have killed someone, it was in her defense, but still I can't just ignore that.
"Hey little brother," I hear Natalie say, leaning against the door frame of the guest bedroom of her and Will's apartment in the South Loop, two cups of coffee in her hands. Natalie may not be my sister, but she's acted like one since the day that Will brought her home five years ago with a teeny baby Owen in her arms, more than terrified to be meeting my mom.
"Hi Nat," I say with a smile. "What's up?"
"Nothing," She says, handing me the mug as she sits on the end of my bed. "You showed up here, unannounced at 9 PM and you seemed upset, I'm checking in. How are you doing?"
"Not great," I tell her.
"You want to talk about it?" She asks, taking a long sip of the bitter liquid.
"Not really," I respond to her.
"Okay," She replies, not pushing, which I'm more than grateful for. I have to figure out what I'm going to do, but I have to make this choice on my own.
"Where's Owen?" I ask, drawing the conversation away from myself.
"He's at Lego engineering camp this week," She says with a chuckle, "Will's driving him there now,"
"Isn't he a little young for that?" I say with a laugh, knowing very well that he's only five years old.
"That's what I said," She agrees enthusiastically, "The age range said 5-9 which I thought was really wide, but he wanted to do it and Will just keeps telling me that he's a genius,"
"Well I mean, he is your kid, if he had Will's genes I'd have a few questions,"
"Speaking of which," She mentions. "We were talking the other day and I think that we're going to get Owen legally adopted by Will after the wedding, drop the Conte,"
"Really?" I say surprised, "I thought you guys were going to hyphenate."
"We were," She informs me, "But when we have more kids, they're going to have your name. He's already going to know he's different from the rest of them, we really didn't want to emphasize that anymore,"
"You guys making plans?" I ask, pushing my problems aside for a second.
"I don't know," She says with a sly smile. "I don't want his siblings to be so much younger than him, but I can't have a baby in my last year of med school and after that comes residency, I don't know where we'd fit it in,"
"You had Owen your sophomore year of college and you made that work,"
"I guess I did," She responds. "He turned out pretty great didn't he?"
"Best nephew I've ever had," I joke.
"Very funny," She says with a look. "But in all seriousness, when are you going to go back to see that girl?"
"What do you mean?" I ask innocently.
"Don't play coy with me Jay," She responds, eyebrow raised. "I know you love your nephew, but you didn't fly all the way out here to see us without warning, something happened. I know that you don't want to talk about what that is, but you can't run away from all of it, you've got to face it,"
"I know," I say with a deep sigh. "I know,"
"So stop hiding in my guest bedroom and go do that," She says.
"Nat," I whine.
"Don't do that," She scolds, "I'll take you over, let's go,"
"Are you sure that this a good idea?" I ask as we pull up to Erin's apartment building in Natalie's white SUV.
"No," She says. "But you can't run away from it right?"
"Yeah," I say with a reluctant smile. "Thank you,"
"Of course," She says pulling me in for a quick hug. "Now go fix this, this girl has been thrown through way too much for it all to end like this,"
"I know," I say, grabbing my bag and hopping out of the car. "Bye Natty,"
"Bye JJ," She responds, "Don't stay away too long, we miss you out here,"
"Of course," I say before she rolls off, leaving me alone with my thoughts in front of the brick building. Now or never right? I take a deep breath and force myself through the front doors, riding the elevator up to the third floor and making my way over to apartment 16, bracing for the worst as I knock on the front door.
I hear the door unlock, Erin opening the door with bloodshot eyes and dark bags under her eyes, wrapped up in a cardigan sweater and leggings.
"Hi," I say softly, her look sending a pang to my heart. I did that. This is my fault.
"Are you going to come in?" She asks, turning away from me as she walks back into the apartment as I silently follow. She's mad. Of course she's mad, why wouldn't she be? She has every right to hate me right now. She should hate me.
"We need to talk," I say quietly, setting down my bag.
"Yeah," She says, seeming disinterested, "We do,"
"I'm sorry," I say, wanting to get that out before anything else. "I shouldn't have done what I did last night,"
"No, you shouldn't't have," She replies bluntly. "You can't just walk out like that Jay, without explanation,"
"Erin you have to understand," I rebuff, "I was freaking out, trying to process everything that you just told me,"
"You don't think I was too?" She demands. "But you don't walk about, you stay and you talk, you work it out together,"
"Then let's do it," I say taking a seat on her couch. "Let's sit here and talk and work it all out."
"Okay," She says taking a seat across the couch. "Charlie's not dead,"
"What?" I ask, floored.
"I talked to my mom, who talked to my dad. He didn't kill him, he's in Canada." She tells me. "With a very stirct warning,"
"Erin," I say, my voice uneasy.
"Nothin illegal happened," She assures me. "But he's not going to be a problem anymore and I don't want to talk about it again, okay?"
"Okay," I give in, a huge weight falling off my chest. Erin's my girlfriend and I love her, I wouldn't ever want to do anything to sacrifice the safety or happiness of her or her family, but I couldn't carry around something like that. "Good,"
"What else is there then?" She asks. "Charlie's not a problem anymore,"
"There's a lot," I tell her. "The press for one,"
"I can deal with it," She assures me. "I'll be fine, I really don't care about having my face plastered across the national news, it's this cycle, it'll pass,"
"That's not what I'm worried about," I say, proceeding carefully with my choice of words. "They will hunt you down, your privacy will be invaded,"
"And you don't think I can handle that?" She asks, her eyebrow twitching.
"I couldn't," I respond curtly. "It's hard Erin, they are everywhere and they don't let up."
"We'll make it work," She responds. "We always do,"
"Do we though?" I ask, immediately regretting it. I shouldn't have said it that way, but it did need to be said. We've been long distance for a long time, I almost think we've been in a bubble. We haven't had to deal with the real issues of a relationship, it's always been the extra things. Media, Charlie and everything else that comes with the two of us. Last night was our first real fight and we didn't handle it well.
"We will," She says, seeming a hundred times more confident that she was just a few minutes ago. "Ground rules, no one walks out."
"Erin," I respond slowly.
"I'm serious," She says. "No one walks out, we stay and we try to make it work. If we can't, it'll be a mutual decision and we'll go. But we have to try, always,"
"This is ridiculous,"
"Just say yes," She comes back curtly. "I want this to work, but I need to know that you are with me, one hundred percent,"
"Of course I am," I say, "why would you even suggest that I'm not? I love you Erin,"
"I know, and I love you too. I just needed to hear you say it,"
"I'm saying it now, loud and clear," I assure her. I don't know what else I have to do to prove to her that I am all in, what else I can say to make her believe that I love her with everything that I am.
"Okay then," She responds.
"What now?" I ask.
"Now, I am going to kiss you and then we are going to finish unpacking my apartment,"
"Are we going to talk about anything else?" I ask.
"Not right now," She says.
"Why?" I ask.
"Because I don't want to," She says, that smile shining through the red of her eyes and the dark spots underneath as she presses a kiss to my lips.
"I can work with that."
ERIN
"You know I was thinking," Jay says as the two of us sit on the opposite ends of the couch, our feets tangled up in each other with an episode of the Amazing Race playing on the TV.
"What's going on in that head of yours?" I ask, feeling much more comfortable than I was just a few hours ago. Jay and I still have a lot to work through, but for now, I'm just going to try being happy without the shadow of Charlie reigning over us.
"There's an event coming up, it's a fundraising gala for the ACC, the American Coalition for Children, they advocate for the rights of kids, protecting kids in foster care," He tells me with a smile. "I need a date, know anyone that'd be interested? "
"I would love to," I tell him, granting him a smile. It sounds like a great night and a great cause, hitting especially close to home for me. "Is it in DC?"
"Yes, but it's a Saturday night, so you wouldn't have to miss work," He assures me.
"Of course then," I respond, no longer concerned with being found. I can live freely now, exactly the way that I want to, consequences be damned. And it feels so good.
"Do you really have to go back so soon?" I whine as I push in a pair of crystal studs.
"I wasn't even supposed to come out here," Jay says with a laugh as he brews a pot of coffee in the kitchen. "Besides, I'll see you next week for the gala, but until then, you should focus on work,"
"I know, I know," I say, coming out of the bedroom, my navy blue heels clicking along the hardwood floor.
"Wow," Jay says as he takes me in. "Babe you look good,"
"Oh be quiet," I say, secretly reveling in the compliment. I spent a very long time putting together this outfit, skinny navy slacks, a white button up and a tailored blush blazer. "But thank you,"
"Here," He says, handing me a mug of coffee. "How much longer do I have with you?"
"I have to be in the office by nine, but I want to be in a little bit early, I'm going to leave around 8:10,"
"So ten minutes," He says with a groan.
"Yes," I say with a teasing smile.
"What do you say we make the most of those ten minutes?" He says suggestively with a raise of the eyebrow.
"As much as I would enjoy that," I say with a chuckle, "I spent way too long on this hair for that,"
"Fine," He says with a dissatisfied groan.
"Don't worry," I assure him, "I'll make it up to you next weekend,"
"You promise?" He asks, his attention peaked.
"Oh definitely," I say with a laugh. "But as for now, I'm going to down as much caffeine as humanly possible,"
"Sounds like a plan baby," He says, the two of us standing around the island of my apartment, both with smiles on our faces and laughter leaving our lips as we enjoy the presence of the one that we love. It's nice, the two of us here. It feels almost too normal, domesticated. But for once, I'm not waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm just happy.
"Bye baby," He says, giving me a kiss on the cheek as I walk out the door. "Kick some ass,"
"Will do," I say, the two of us lingering the doorway. "I love you,"
"I love you too," And with that, I'm off to my very first day in the real world.
Hope you guys enjoyed chapter 16! I hope to have chapter 17 posted next weekend (or earlier, fingers crossed!)
Please review!
Xoxo,
Addie
