Sorry about the cliffhanger guys! Anyway, thank you for all the kind reviews, which motivated me to get this update out to fast. It is on the shorter side, but I hope you guys enjoy nonetheless! Happy reading!


ERIN

I had this memory game when I was a kid. A bunch of cards, face down, in rows. Each card had a picture. You turn one over, look at it, put it back and then try to find a pair. I was awful at it. I could never remember where anything was, what was drawn on any of the cards. But there are something that you never forget. They are some things that you can't forget.

"Get down!" I hear as my ears continue to ring, the arena held hostage in a field of screams, Juliette's wail and the blood flowing out of his chest the only thing I can remember. Then I hear it on the TVs.

"We're just getting this," I hear, the familiar voice of the CNN anchor ringing through the noise, "Shots have been fired at the Democratic National Convention in Chicago, Madeleine and James Halstead have been hit." And then it all goes black.


"Welcome back Ms. Lindsay," I hear as I open my eyes, bright and uncomfortable lights filling the room.

"Where am I?" I ask, coming too as I see Kevin in the corner.

"You're at Saint Elizabeth Hospital," The doctor explains, "You took quite the fall, no concussion, but you've got a cut on your cheek, but we stitched you up and it should heal pretty quickly,"

"Would you excuse us for just a second?" I ask the doctor, my hand flying up to feel the more than impressive cut on my cheek.

"Of course," He replies, quickly ducking out of the curtain.

"Where is he?" I demand as Kevin approaches me, making sure to keep my voice hushed.

"He's at Gaffney Chicago Medical Center," He tells me. "They're locked the place down,"

"So why am I here?" I demand as I begin to rip the monitors off my chest. "I need to be there, take me there,"

"Erin calm down," He tells me, placing a what would otherwise be a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You are hurt,"

"I am fine," I almost yell at him. "But he's not. He could be dying and if he's gone and I'm not there, I will never forgive myself."

"Erin," He says again, trying to stop me from removing the IV. "Please do not pull that out of your arm,"

"Fine," I say, dropping back onto the bed. "Get a doctor in here to take it out for me. I will sign whatever I need to sign, just get me to Med."

"Fine,"


"Ma'am I'm sorry I can't let you through," The agent tells me, standing tall in front of me as I feel my blood start to boil. This doesn't feel real. I feel like I'm drifting, this isn't my life and this isn't my body. It's not me.

"Do I need to tell you who I am again?" I say, nearly shoving my ID in this guy's face. "My name is Erin Lindsay, I was in the box."

"I don't care who you are or where you were," He retorts, "I've been told to lock it down and you are not allowed in here," God I really wish I still had Kevin, he ran off as soon as we got here to try to get more information. We didn't think that this would be an issue.

"Hey!" I hear down the hall. I look down to see Nora standing there, blood stains on her formally pristine white dress. "What's going on?"

"Ms. Halstead, I'm sorry for the disturbance," He quickly apologizes.

"Let her through," She demands. "Let her through now,"

"I'm sorry I can't do that. You don't have any authority over me," He tells her.

"Firefly," She says forcefully. "How about now?"

"Sorry about the complication, go on through," He says, his demeanor doing a 180 as I quickly join Nora in the hallway. Firefly? What does that mean?

"How is he?" I ask quickly we speed walk down the linoleum halls, "God, how are they? Is Maddie okay?"

"Not good," She replies sharply. "Either of them," She doesn't seem to want to say anything else, so I don't ask. But I feel like I can't breathe. My heart is beating out of my chest with worry, with fear. I can't lose him, I just got him. This doesn't happen. This is the kind of thing you read about on the news, it doesn't just happen. But that's just the thing. They are the news.


I haven't cried. This whole time. I didn't cry when I woke up in the hospital room on the other side of town or seemingly endless ride on the way over here. I kept the tears at bay. I somehow even kept it together when I walked into the lounge that they shut down for us, the entire family save for their matriarch sitting there. But they're not together. They sit in groups, almost little pods. Abby's in Graham's arms, in the corner with her face cold and stoic. Numb. Natalie's with Will, Owen asleep in her lap as he paces holes in the carpet. Patrick's alone, tapping his fingers along the table. Then there's me, side by side with Nora on plush bench, our backs against a wall, sitting there, quietly with the heels of our shoes resting on the carpet. It's been hours and we haven't heard a single thing. Then and only then, do I let the first tears roll down my face.

Stop crying," Nora instructs me quietly, but sharply, Jay's blood still soaked into the cream dress, her hand stained a light pink.

"What?" I say as I look up at her, stunned at her lack of emotions. "How can you even say that?"

"We are the Halsteads and we don't get to fall apart, ever," She tells me forcefully in a hushed whisper. "We stand for this country, when we are strong, the union is strong and the entire world is looking at us right now. We do not get to fall apart, we keep our heads held high and we hope for the best, but do not fall apart and we do not cry. You're one of us now, so you do not get to fall apart, not when my dress is red and my hands are pink. My brother and my baby sister are lying in those operating rooms with their lives falling through the cracks. I am not crying, so you do not get to cry."

"I can't do that," I tell her, "I can't just stop."

"Let's go," Nora says as she grabs my arm, dragging me away from rows of chairs. Even though the entire floor is locked down,

"Where are we going?" I ask as she drags me behind her.

"Shut up, just come with me," She says, not slowing her gait even by a little bit as I wipe the remaining tears off my face.

"What?" I say confused as she pulls me into a storage closet.

"Go," She says looking at me. "Go ahead, cry. I'll stand watch." I look at her stunned, but she doesn't have to tell me twice, the big, fat drops falling down my cheeks, using everything I have to keep myself from sinking to the floor. I just want to be held in his arms, smell the familiar smell of shampoo, fall asleep next to him. All the simple things.

"Okay," She says, peering through the small window in the door, "That's enough, pull yourself together."

"How do you do this?" I ask as I choke on my words, wiping the tears from my face, grateful for my choice of waterproof mascara.

"It's easy, we know what's at stake." She tells me, as composed as ever, her red hair still pulled into a French twist behind her head. "We stand behind Mom and we stand strong. This country has millions of enemies, both foreign and domestic. That means that she, we aren't allowed to be down and out. That's what I meant when I talked to you earlier, if we appear weak, they see that as a time to attack. That's 300 million lives in my mom's hands, so when you look at it that way, our tears and our pain seem pretty small doesn't it?"

"Yeah," I say quietly, "It really does,"

"It sucks," She tells me. "I know that. And you'll get better, I have a feeling that you'll be sticking around for a while."

"Thanks," I say with a solemn smile. "I hope I'll be around for a while,"

"Okay," She says peering through the door, "Now put your game face on,"


This is legitimately the shortest chapter I have ever written, but I felt like that was a good place to stop it and I didn't want to leave you guys hanging for longer than I had to. I hope you guys enjoyed chapter 20!

Please review!

xoxo,

Addison