Sorry for the long wait between updates! But this chapter, I'm going to introduce you to a new point of view, Ally Corson, Jay's ex-girlfriend as well as the Vice President's only daughter. Hope you guys enjoy!


ERIN

The tears stream down my face as I watch Avery field questions from the press, Jay's name never leaving the front of my mind. I don't know what to do anymore, so I do what what I do whenever I don't know what to do. I call my dad.

"Hi Mama," I say, my voice broken as Camille answers the phone.

"Erin!" She on the other end. "We've been calling all night, worried sick,"

"I know," I reply. "I'm sorry."

"We watched the convention," She asks. "Are you okay?"

"No," I say, a tear slipping down my face. "She's gone,"

"Maddie?" She says, shock in her voice. "Oh God I am so sorry. Are you still at the hospital?"

"No," I say. "I left a few hours ago, Jay asked me to go."

"Oh baby girl," She says, her heart breaking for me and for them. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," I say. "But can you come over? I just want my mom,"

"I'll be right there,"


I haven't seen Jay in almost two months, not since I told him I loved him in that hospital room, right after I told him that his sister had died. I gave him the space, kept telling myself that he would call, but as summer transitioned to fall, he never did.

I don't want to believe that it's over, but two months without one word, I'd say that's pretty much over. As the nation mourned the death of the closed thing that they had to a princess, I mourned the loss of him. He wasn't gone, but he might as well be. I loved him, I gave all of me to him. And how he's just gone.

I've been trying to keep my head down, go to work, do the best I can at the job I love, spend time with my friends and love my family, but all of that doesn't keep Jay out of my head.

I've seen the headlines, the pictures of him stumbling out of the bars with a different girl on his arm every night. They hurt, a lot. All I want to do is hop on a plane, slap the hell out of him and tell him I love him, tell him to come to me. But that's not my place anymore. I'm not his girlfriend, I'm not even his friend. I'm not anyone to him anymore.


ALLY

I stand outside Jay's apartment, debating whether or not I should go in. It's not that I'm nervous to face him, I've known him my entire life. I'm scared to face myself. But, this isn't about me. He needs someone and I know that that someone if not me, but I'm hoping that I can pull his head out of the sand long enough to realize who he needs. And who needs him.

I don't even bother knocking, using the key that Abby gave me and barging right now on. It smells like scotch, not that I'm surprised. I make my way through, sunshine screaming through the windows as my heels click along the hardwood floors, fighting the urge to toss the dirty laundry littering the floor into a bin.

I can't help but sigh as I see the half naked girl in his bed, horrified as a pick up a black lace bra and toss if over at her, stomping at the ground to wake her up. It works, probably too well.

"What the hell," She says, turning over and smacking Jay as she puts on the bra. "I thought you said you didn't have a girlfriend,"

"I don't," He says, looking up at me with dark eyes.

"He does," I tell her. "I am just not her, but you still need to get the hell out of here,"

"Ally stop," Jay demands.

"Do you know who he is?"

"Jack," She responds, looking very satisfied with herself.

"Great," I say, tossing her very slinky dress from last night. "You were never here, now get out,"

"What?" She says, looking back at Jay for guidance as strangely complies with my instructions.

"I'll call you," Jay slurs as she slips back into the dress.

"No, he won't," I tell her quickly. "Slip out the back, the photographers are all in the front."

"Who are you?" She asks, confused as she pulls on her shoes.

"No one to you," I tell her before ushering her out the door, tossing her purse at her on the way out. "What the hell is going on?"

"Don't worry about it," I say before slamming the door in her face.

"Ally what the hell?" Jay says as he slinks over to me, pulling a white t-shirt over his bare chest.

"You're still drunk," I say, tossing the empty beer bottles into the trash, fighting the urge to wince everytime one smashes on the bottom of the can.

"And?" He says as I swipe a bottle of scotch out of his reach.

"It's 9 AM and you're still drunk from last night,"

"I'm fine," He claims.

"No you're not," I tell him. "You're a mess and nobody wants to tell you that. They're afraid of hurting you, they're all walking on eggshells but as you can see, I don't have an issue with being straight with you."

"What are you doing?" He says, rolling his eyes as he collapses on the couch.

"Dragging your ass back to the real world," I shout at him.

"What is there to live for anymore?" He says. "You can't know what this feels like," I bite my lip as I take that stab to the heart, waiting for him to catch his mistake. I can see it on his face, as just the smallest bit of empathy slips through. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that,"

"I know you didn't," I tell him, trying not to react. "That's why I'm here. You were there for me when Ben died, you made sure that I didn't lose it, so I'm not going to let you do that either,"

"I don't need a babysitter," He says. "I'm perfectly capable of handling myself,"

"Obviously you're not," I almost shout at him. "I'm here because your sisters sent me, they're all too scared to come talk to you,"

"I'm grieving," He growls.

"So are the rest of us," I snarl back. "But we're not drinking ourselves into a blackout or sleeping with a random girl every night,"

"You don't get it," He responds coldly.

"What don't I get?" I ask him.

"I was there Ally, I was standing next to her. We both took the bullets, I survived and she died. It should have been me. She was 17 years old!" He screams, a tear falling from his eye.

"No," I say, my heart breaking apart for the boy I used to love. After Ben was killed, he was there for me everyday, holding me in his arms and telling me that it was all going to be okay. I believed him, we were 17. But we're not 17 anymore. "What happened was awful, but this world would not be any better if you were gone."

"She was 17,"

"And you're 24 and you are adored. Your life is not worth any less than her's. And you are allowed to be sad, you are allowed to feel like the world is falling apart because it is, but you are not allowed to wish it was you. And you need to pull yourself out of this hole before it gets too deep for anyone to reach you,"

"It's just easier," He says quietly, "You know, not to feel."

"Easier isn't better," I respond as I sit down on the bed next to him. We just sit there in silence for a while, his hand on my leg. "Call her,"

"What?"

"Call Erin," I say. "She's good for you,"

"I'm not going to call her," He tells me harshly.

"She's your girlfriend," I remind him, "You love her and she's worried about you,"

"She doesn't want anything to do with me," He responds. "Not anymore."

"You don't know that," I say, trying to bite my tongue. I know for a fact that that's not true. Natalie's had some limited correspondence with Erin, which she informed me of before I drove over her, after swearing me to secrecy of course. She wants him back as much as I know he does, but neither of them are willing to say it.

"I don't need to," He says bitterly.

"Get it together Jay," I tell him, grabbing my purse as I move towards the door. "Pull yourself together, before you're too broken to fix."


ERIN

"How's he doing?" I say nervously into the phone.

"Not good," I hear on the other end, Nora's voice still broken. After everything happened, she emailed me her number, told me to call her if I needed to talk. I didn't know why, I'm not anything to her. But I'm grateful for it.

Even as I've fallen out of her brother's life, she and I have become close. I can't even come close to what she's feeling right now, but I was there. We we together that whole night. She can be herself with me, there's no pressure. For me, she has intel. I can keeps tabs on Jay, without him knowing, without any of them knowing. I hate that I have to do this, that I can't just let it go. But I love him, so that's not really an option anymore, even if he wants nothing to do with me.

"Yeah," I respond quietly. "I've seen the headlines this weeks,"

"He needs you," She tells me. "He really needs you Erin,"

"He doesn't want me," I say, biting my lip. "He's made that really clear,"

"Just because he's not strong enough to admit, it doesn't change anything. He's falling apart and none of us can figure out how to fix it."

"Why would I be any better?" I test her.

"He picked you, he got stuck with the rest of us." She says. "Just jump on a plane, try," Despite everything inside me wanting to say yes, I know that I'm not welcome. This isn't my territory anymore.

"I'm sorry Nora," I tell her. "I can't."

"Okay," She says, the disdain evident in her voice. "I got to go,"

"Okay," I respond. "I'm sorry,"

"I know you are,"


"So how are you doing?" Hailey asks me, the wind blowing through the stadium bleachers of Saint Ignatius, watching Justin run down the field in his gold and burgundy uniform, the number 17 emblazoned across it.

"I'm okay," I say, focusing my attention on the game and avoiding her question. I never liked football games while I was here, but Justin loves it and I love watching him play. Besides, it's the opening game of his senior year. I would have just gone with my parents, but Hailey offered to come with me and why not spend a night out with my girl.

"Don't you lie to me girl," She responds.

"It was a fling, two months, now it's over and we pretend it never happened," I tell her, my eyes still focused on the ball as I lie through my teeth.

"Oh shut up," She tells me with a groan, "He was so much more than just a fling and we both know it,"

"Okay fine," I reply, running my hands over the light denim of my jeans. "But even if it was more, it's over. I can't do anything about it. Can we just drop it?"

"Of course," She says, slinking back into herself as her words quiet.

"Do you want to sleep over tonight?" I ask, feeling myself missing the old times in California and not wanting to be alone for another night in that apartment that feels so much bigger now.

"Of course," She says with a smile, leaning into me and resting her head on my shoulder. "Anytime girl,"

"I love you lady," I tell her, resting my head on top of hers, the gentle moment interrupted as the announcer's voice booms throughout the stadium.

"TOUCHDOWN WOLVES!" He exclaims, the bleachers shaking as the entire school jumps to their feet and the pep band starting to play, Hailey and I both jumping to our feet as we notice it's my little brother, number 17, dancing around in the end zone.


"Alright," Hailey says as she flips through my Netflix queue. "13 Going on 30 or Heathers?"

"You realize we're basically a living cliche right now?" I tell her with a laugh as I sit down next to her on the couch, a bowl of popcorn in hand.

"Don't care," She responds with a laugh. "I have an exam at the Academy on the 14th so I'm going to be busting my ass for the next three days,"

"Wait, what's the date today?" I say, pulling out my phone to check my calendar.

"It's the 10th why?" She asks as I frantically scroll through pages.

"I'm late," I tell her.

"What?" She asks, her jaw dropping as the words leave my mouth. "What do you mean?"

"My period," I tell her panicked as I reach August, my heart dropping as I realize I didn't get it that month either.

"How late?" She asks, clicking off the TV and turning all of her attention to me.

"Like I didn't get it last month either." I admit as I look up at her, the fear coming over my entire body. "It was so soon after everything happened, I didn't even think about it,"

"Do you think-" She starts.

"No," I finish for her. "There's no way, I mean I'm on the pill and we've always used condoms."

"The pill isn't always effective," She reminds me.

"But he always wore a condom," I add in. "We were careful, we had to be,"

"Are you sure, always?" She asks again, both of us now in a full on panic as I start pacing across the floor of my apartment.

"Yes," I say. "It could have broken, I don't know,"

"It doesn't matter," She says, getting up to start putting her shoes on. "We've got to get you a test. At least then you'll know,"

"Okay," I say, taking a deep breath, trying to calm the thoughts racing through my head. "Okay let's go,"


"Do you need help?" Hailey calls through my bathroom door as I pull my pants down, my heart rate quickening as I stare down at the box in my left hand.

"It's peeing on a stick Hails, it's idiot proof," I joke, a lame attempt to cover my anxiety.

"Alright, I'll just be here then," She responds as I hear her sink to the floor of my bedroom, where I'm sure her knees are pulled into her chest. I do it quickly, just wanting to get it over with.

"Come here," I tell her as I wash my hands, that freaking white stick taunting me on the tile countertops.

"How you feeling?" She asks quietly, sliding down to floor, her back against the bathtub.

"Not great," I tell her, shaking the water off my hands and joining her.

"You know, whatever happens," She says, grabbing my hand. "No matter what that stick says and no matter what Jay does, I got your back. I'm not going anywhere,"

"Thank you," I say simply, just trying to process it all.

"How long does it take?" Hailey asks as the two of us sit there together.

"Three minutes," I tell her, leading us in a silence that leaves me alone with my thoughts. I can't have a baby, not right now. I'm 22 years old! I'm just starting out in this world, I'm brand new at my job. Jay and I aren't even talking, he's out getting drunk every night and for all I know, he may have knocked up another girl by now. Even without all of that, the world shouldn't trust me to be anyone's mother.

"Time's up," Hailey says as she peers down at her phone. "You want to look?"

"Yeah," I say with a breathy sigh, trying to work up the courage. Everything rests on what the little white stick says, two lines or one. Those lines have the power to change everything.


Hope you guys enjoyed!

Please review!

Xoxo,

Addie