Surprise! Here's another chapter! Don't expect me to keep us this pace, but enjoy it while it lasts!
Happy reading!
ERIN
I want to stop. I all I want to do is stop. I want to stop wanting him. I want my mom to stop dying. I want to stop crying. I need the world to stop.
Seemingly, I can't stop any of these things, so I do the one thing that I swore I would never do, I give in. With my tears falling harder than the rain, I turn the car out of the parking lot in much need of repair, though full of shiny sedans and I drive to the other side of town.
I sit in the front seat of my car, twisting and turning my pinkie ring around and around, watching the rain fall as sit down the street from Will and Natalie's townhouse. Like a psychopath.
I don't even know how I remembered where it was, I think he brought me here maybe once.
I am crazy, absolutely crazy. But I don't have control over anything else in my life right now, but I have this. So I'm going to do this. I take a deep breath before I pull the black umbrella out from glove compartment and I get out, my way too high navy blue stilettos splashing in the shallow puddles.
"Ma'am!" I hear as I approach the brick townhouse, a very big man in a black suit and sunglasses walking towards me. Seriously? Sunglasses? It's raining and almost dark outside, that seem hardly practical.
"Yes sir," I say, wiping the tears from my cheeks and attempting to make myself look even mildly presentable.
"Who are you?"
"My name is Erin Lindsay," I say, not used to having to go through this. I'm used to having Jay on my arm, we flew through every single one of these security checkpoints. "I'm Jay's girl-" I stop myself. "It's complicated,"
"Well I can't let complicated through," He tells me, somehow seeming even taller. I mean I know I'm small but come on!
"Sir, if you'd just let me call Jay on my phone right now, you'd see that I'm perfectly fine to come inside!" I tell him, trying to not cross over the line into hysterical. That is really the last thing that any of us need.
"Ma'am. I'm going to need you to leave,"
"What's going on here?" I hear, looking up to see Antonio walking up behind me.
"Antonio!" I say gratefully, glancing over to the familiar face.
"You know this girl?" He asks, looking over at him.
"She's Firefly," Antonio informs him, looking more than a little annoyed that he had to get out of the car to come deal with me. "Sorry Erin, he's new,"
"It's fine," I say, stepping past the new Secret Service agent to join Antonio.
"What are you doing here Erin?" He asks as the two of us walk past the perimeter and towards the front porch.
"He's still staying here right?" I ask.
"Yeah," He replies. "But you didn't answer the question?"
"I am trying," I tell him. "I am trying to make it work,"
"Well," He says as we reach the bottom of the brick steps. "Between you and me, I hope you can do it. You're good for him."
"I've kind of been hearing that a lot today," I say with a smile. "And before I forget, what does Firefly mean?"
"That's a question for Jay," He responds with a wink. "He'll tell you when he's ready."
"Okay," I say with an eye roll, "Thanks again,"
"Anytime," He replies as I ring the doorbell. "I got your back girl,"
"Say hi to Atwater and Roman for me," I say before the door swings open to reveal Natalie standing in the doorway.
"Erin?" She says, looking surprised
"Is he here?" I ask her, noticing her son Owen hanging on her leg.
"C'mon in," . She says with a smile.
"Who are you?" Owen asks bluntly, looking up at me with those big brown eyes.
"My name is Erin," I say, holding out my delicate hand to shake his. "You know we've met before,"
"We have?" He exclaims, looking up at me questioningly. "I don't remember you,"
"Don't mind him," Natalie says with a laugh as he runs off towards the living room where I assume that Will is waiting for him. "He's upstairs,"
"Thanks Nat," I tell her gratefully, dropping my heels at the bottom of the stairs before running up the smooth wood steps.
"Nat who's there?" I hear Jay shout as he pokes his head out of their guestroom. "Erin?"
JAY
"What are you doing here?" I ask, looking over at her. Never in a million years did I think that it would be her behind that door.
"I don't want to be mad anymore," She tells me, her bare feet moving towards me. "And I don't want to be scared anymore. I just want you Jay." Before I know what has even happened, she's crashed her lips into mine, pulling me back into the bedroom.
"Wait," I say, not wanting to say it as the words come out of my mouth. "We can't, Owen's here. We can't have sex in my brother's house."
"Yeah," She says, frowning over me. "I guess so,"
"Sorry," I tell her with a reluctant smile. "Do you want to talk? I know you haven't forgiven me."
"I'm working on it," She informs me. "And I don't want to talk right now, because if we talk we're going to fight. And I don't want to fight.
"That's not healthy," I remind her.
"I don't care," She tells me. "We'll talk later. Not now. Right now, we are going to pretend that your sabbatical never happened. We are young and very pretty people and my life kind of sucks right now. I am standing in front of you as your very hot girlfriend who is for the moment forgiving all your wrongdoings so just say yes."
"Girlfriend huh?" I ask teasingly.
"Yes," She says with a smile. "Girlfriend,"
"You should go see your mom today," I say, the two of lying in the bed together. Nothing even happened between us last night, not that I didn't want to it to. But we controlled ourselves.
"I know," She replies, getting out the bed, dressed only in her underwear and an old Harvard t-shirt of mines. "It's just hard, I don't what to say to her. She's dying Jay,"
"Then you don't say anything," I say, pulling her back into bed with me, my actions met with a squeal. "Just be there for her, make sure she knows that you love her."
"Okay," She says with a sigh. "I never thought I'd be here."
"No one ever does," I tell her as I press a kiss to the side of her head. "But you'll make it through, you're strong Erin Lindsay. A hundred times stronger than me,"
"Oh shut up," She says, swatting me.
"You want breakfast?"
"Will it be weird, having me here?" She asks.
"Of course not," I reply. "Natalie loves you and Will has been telling me how stupid I was to have lost you about ten times a day,"
"I am a catch," She replies with a laugh.
"Get dressed," I tell her. "I'll start the coffee,"
"I can't believe I'm doing the walk of shame in front of your brother and his family,"
"Nothing shameful happened." I point out as I pull on a shirt.
"But the don't know that," She claims.
"They aren't going to care," I assure her. "Trust me, they're just going to be glad that we're back together." I pause. "We are back together aren't we?"
"Yeah," She mentions. "All in right?"
"All in," I assure her as I press a kiss to lips. "No more hiccups, no more breaks. You are it Erin."
"Seems like someone had fun last night," Will teases as I walk into the kitchen, a pot of coffee already on.
"Yeah," I reply vaguely. "It was a good night,"
"You guys figure your crap out?" He asks.
"No," I tell him. "But we're back together, we're going to figure it out along the way. "
"Is that really the smartest way to do things?" He questions.
"I don't know, but it's what she wants and I'm don't really have very much wiggle room right now do I?"
"Correct," He says, pouring me a cup of the dark bitter liquid that we all for some reason chose to enjoy. "For what it's worth, I'm glad you guys got it together. You are good for each other, you make each other better. And she's going to need you right now."
"I know," I said. "I'm going to take her to see her mom today,"
"You going to meet the parents?" He asks.
"I don't think so, not the right time." I tell him as I take a sip of the coffee. "You want breakfast?"
"You cooking?" He asks.
"Sure,"
"Then hell yeah," He replies as I start pulling bread, eggs, and milk out of the fridge.
"French toast?" I ask, turning back to him.
"Always," He says with a smile, knowing that it's our mom's recipe, one she taught to all of us kids.
"Should I make some for Owen and Nat too?" I ask as I grab a glass bowl of the cabinet.
"Sure," He replies. "Not sure when my lady will be up, but Owen will be down here screaming in twenty minutes or less."
ERIN
"Oh you are just full of surprises," I say with a laugh as I walk into the, some heavenly scent filling the house, still wearing last night's dress and my hair fashioned into somewhat of a respectable bun.
"There are still a ton you've yet to find out about," He says with a smile, giving me a small peck as he stands in front of the stove.
"Oh I look forward to it," I say, my face turning bright red as I notice Will sitting in the family room looking over at us. Of course he's here! It's his house. "Hi Will,"
"Hi Erin," He says with a chuckle before going back to the newspaper in front of him.
"You're still here?" I hear from behind us as Natalie walks into the kitchen, somehow looking perfectly put together at 8 AM on a Saturday morning.
"She's going to be around a lot more," Jay tells her with a smile.
"Good," She says looking over at me. "Welcome back to the club Erin."
"You sure you don't want to come in?" I ask, lingering outside of my car as Jay sits at the wheel.
"You need to do this on your own, I'll meet them another time. Go, I'll be here when you're down."
"Okay," I say, feeling more and more solid in the rash decision I made last night. It was definitely the right one. "Thanks for driving me over here,"
"Anytime babe," He tells me. I nod over at him before shutting the door behind me and looping my tote bag over my shoulder and shove all my fear to the side as I walk through the front entrance of the hospital. I'm thanking everything that I didn't end up seeing them last night, because showing up in the same dress two days in a row would most definitely raise some questions that I'm not sure I'm ready to answer.
"I'm here to see Camille Voight," I say, checking into the front desk of the oncology wing.
"Are you family?" The unfamiliar nurse asks.
"I'm her daughter," I tell her, thinking back to even a few years ago when my voice would waver at those words.
"She's in room 506, we're just getting ready to discharge her."
"Already?" I question, though not giving the nurse enough time to answer the question and I book it towards her room. I know Camille said that she didn't want to treat it, but I didn't think she'd be gone so fast. It's only been four days.
"Hey Mom," I say, walking into the sterile hospital room to see her curled up on the chair, peering out towards the window.
"Hey baby," She calls over to me with a smile, bright as always.
"Where's Dad?" I ask, looking aimlessly around the tiny room for his rash figure.
"He's just spending some time with Justin, he'll be here to take me home in a couple hours."
"Why are you going home so fast?" I ask her, tucking my legs under me as I take a perch on the cushioned window seat.
"I don't want to be here and there's no reason for me to," She tells me. "I want to go home, I want to sleep in my bed with your dad and go to Justin's football games."
"Are you sure you don't want to try to fight this? We'll get you the best doctors, I can get a list from Will,"
"Erin," She says, placing her hand on mine. "I've accepted this, I need you to work on that too."
"How can I just give up?"
"Hey," She says, wiping the tears from my cheeks in a way that only a mom can. "We're not giving up, we're living. And we are going to live until this tumor decides that I don't get to anymore. Okay?"
"Okay," I say, taking a deep breath as I try to keep the tears at bay. Try being the key word.
"And now we're not going to talk about it, we aren't going to talk about it until we really, really have to."
"Alright," I tell her, giving her a solemn smile.
"Now," She says with that smirk that I've seen so many times. "Stop those tears and tell me whose bed you slept in last night,"
"What?" I ask, more than a little shocked.
"C'mon Erin, no daughter of mine would show up in my hospital room at 10 AM in four inch stilettos. Give it up baby girl,"
"You really want to know?" I ask, somehow forcing a smile upon my face, a stray tear still finding its way down my cheeks.
"Hey Justin won't gossip with me. I didn't get a girl for nothing," She teases. "Hey I said no tears!"
"Sorry," I say, wiping the wetness away. "Jay actually?"
"As in Halstead?" She replies, furrowing her brow as she looks over at me in surprise.
"Yeah," I say sheepishly.
"Okay," She says, treading carefully.
"You don't think I'm doing the right thing," I say, trying to read her facial expressions.
"I didn't say that," She retorts, "It's just he hurt you, he hurt badly Erin."
"I know, but life's short and I don't want to hold a grudge."
"Okay then," She replies with a reluctant smile. "Just answer me this, are you happy?" I don't even hesitate before answering.
"The happiest."
Hope you guys liked chapter 27!
Please review!
xoxo,
Addie
