ERIN

"Okay then," She replies with a reluctant smile. "Just answer me this, are you happy?"

"The happiest."

"Can I meet him?" She asks me, looking right through me with those green eyes.

"Yeah," I say with a smile. "He's actually downstairs right now,"

"Really?" She asks, smiling over at me. "He's really trying to make this work isn't he?"

"Yeah," I tell her with a grin as big as the world, "I was going to bring him up here with me originally, but he wanted to give the two of us some time to talk."

"Then he's already got points with me." She starts, "But maybe bring him up here now? It might be better to ease him into the whole meet the parents thing with me before we stick your father on him."

"Good idea, but we could we not talk about his sabbatical, we're trying to work through it," I reply.

"That's what we're calling it?" Sh says, rolling her eyes at me and scoffing.

"Mom please," I pester, looking sternly over at her.

"Fine," She concedes, "For now,"

"Thank you," I say with a grateful sigh, "I'll go get him then," I have a newfound sense of hope in my heart. I still don't think I've accepted her prognosis or her decision, I probably won't. But slowly, I'm inching towards peace.


JAY

"I'm excited to meet the infamous Camille," I tell Erin with a smile as we walk down the hallway towards her room.

"She is very thrilled to meet you," She informs me, looping her arm through my elbow. "I'm not sticking my dad on you just yet, so this should be easy."

"Oh easy," I say with a mocking scoff.

"I don't understand why you're so nervous," She teases. "You stuck the entire First Family on me on the same night,"

"Well you are the love of my life," I say looking down at her, wishing that I had realized it sooner and maybe done something about it, "That's a pretty big deal babe,"

"You're sweet," She says, stretching her neck to give me a soft kiss on the cheek. "And she's going to love you,"

"You better be right," I tease as she pushes open the door into a hospital room flooded with sun.

"Hey Mama," She calls as she waltzes me over to the bubbly blonde woman in the corner of the room.

"You're back!" She exclaims, pulling Erin into a tight hug, her hand ripped from mine and no signs of cancer even peaking through. "And you brought company,"

"Mama you told me to," Erin tells her with a roll of the eyes.

"I know," She says with a musical laugh, "I'm just teasing, get over her Jay,"

"It's very nice to meet you," I say, holding my hand out to shake hers, before she pulls me into a hug, more than shocking me as I watch Erin giggle behind me, trying to hide it with a hand over her mouth.

"She's a hugger," She mouths as the surprise melts off my face.


"She's wonderful," I tell Erin, her arm looped through mine as we walk through the lobby of Chicago Med.

"I know," She says with a solemn smile, "I got really lucky with her, with the whole family really."

"I'm sorry that she got sick," I say, staring off to the bustle of the streets.

"Me too," She replies unable to look me in the eyes.

"Hey, I know this is a sucky situation, but I think I have something that might cheer you up, even just for a minute,"

"What do you got?" She asks, looking up at me with a smile that I know is forced.

"An appointment with a realtor, finally going to get out of Will and Natalie's place," I tell her with a grin. "Want to tag along? I can drop you off at your place afterwards,"

"That sounds perfect," She says, reaching up to kiss me with those gorgeous lips, both of us grateful for the distraction.


ERIN

"We've got two bedrooms and two bathrooms, there's hardwood floors throughout and a wonderful view of the river, and it's in a great neighborhood." The peppy blonde realtor whose name I've already forgotten points out. This feels all too domestic. I know it's going to be his place, but just being here, it's weird, a bag hanging on one of my arms and the other slipped around Jay's.

"It's beautiful," Jay tells her, "What do you think babe?"

"I like it," I tell him, "But it's your apartment, not mine,"

"If I play my cards right, you'll be here just as much as I am,"

"You're on the right track Halstead," I say with a wink, squishing a piece of mint gum between my teeth.

"Good to know," He replies, smiling over at me.

"Okay then," The realtor squawks, annoying me as she pulls me out of our trance like state. "Shall we look at the bedrooms?"

"Sure," He tells me. "Where the fun really happens," I can't help but roll my eyes at him as she leads us into a large, well lit room, dark exposed beams lining the ceiling and the flow of the river gleaming outside the huge picture window.

"This is gorgeous," I whisper in his ear, taking in the view in front of me.

"I know," He affirms. "Rachel," That's her name! "I'll take it,"

"Really?" She exclaims, shock on her face that she's not even trying to hide.

"Really?" I ask, repeating her sentiment as I look over at him. "Already?"

"Yeah, what's life without a few risks?" He whispers as he presses a kiss to my lips.

"Have you checked your finances yet?" I ask him, always concerned about the logistical side of things.

"It's not an issue," He tells me quietly, peaking my curiosity. We've never really talked about money and I assumed his family had some, I mean his mother is the President. But not even having to check a bank account? That's not normal. But none of this is even in the atmosphere of normal.

"Okay, I'll let the seller know that you're interested. Stop by the office later today and we can put together and offer,"

"Sounds perfect,"


"I don't know Erin," Kim says over the phone as I sprawl out on my bed, her advice something that I've needed for a very long time. I banned the subject of Camille though, we can talk about anything else but that. I'm not ready yet. "He told you that he was all in last time,"

"I know," I say, almost not wanting her too pull me back to reality.

"He makes rash decisions," She replies, being just informed of the whole apartment situation that went down this morning.

"You think that I'm one of them?" I ask her, hurt by the indication.

"Maybe," She tells me, not willing to beat around the bush. "I want you to be happy Erin, I really do. I love you, you know this. And I don't want you to get hurt again. Baby he broke you and I don't want to have to put you back together again."

"Kim it's not like I want that either," I push in.

"Then why are you doing this again?" She asks me.

"I don't know, I know that I said I never would, but I just, I have to Kim. You know?" I try to explain, not even sure myself where I'm going with this.

"Okay," She says, seemingly giving up on the conversation. "All I can say is that if you fall, though I don't want you to, I will be here to catch you. Okay?"

"Okay," I say, tears brimming my eyes as all the emotions of the past few days bubble to the surface, quickly wiping my eyes, "Okay, I have to go, I have work tomorrow,"

"Alright, bye lady. I'll talk to you soon,"

"Talk to you soon, love you,"

"Love you too," She says before hanging up the phone. I don't know if I feel better or worse after that conversation. But what I do know is that it's way to late and I have to be up much earlier than I'd like to tomorrow morning. Even if something happens to make my world stop, the rest of globe just keeps on spinning.


Oh good Lord it's too early, the sun much too bright for this early hour. If I'm being honest, the promise of coffee as I do my hair is really the only thing keeping me going at this point. I press the last few strands of my hair straight and brush on the only makeup look that I've perfected in my short tenure of actually wearing it. Then, I slip into a pantsuit that my fifteen year old self would fall over laughing to see me in. Then, coffee finally.

As I turn on the coffee pot, I flick on the TV to the morning news and nearly drop the Bowman mug in my hand when I see me splashed across the screen, held in Jay's arms. I can't help but giggle at something that would have sent me into a full fledged panic before. I also feel my heart wince as I notice the knee length green dress that I'm wearing in the photo, my only public appearance with Jay, the night that I almost lost him and Maddie left us forever. But I quickly suppress it, I don't want to think about it, not today, I can't. So I turn my attention back to whatever bullshit this random woman is about to spout.

"The romance between President Halstead's son Jay and the mystery girl who popped up in Santa Barbara about six months ago Erin Lindsay, seems to be back on again after a lengthy break!" Well she's not wrong about that. "The couple seems to be moving fast," She continues, moving to a paparazzi photo of me and Jay standing outside that apartment in the West Loop yesterday. I start to giggle as I know exactly what she's going to say next. "The two lovebirds seem to be moving at a rapid speed, as they were seen browsing an apartment together in Chicago's West Loop neighborhood," I roll my eyes, switching to a channel with actual news as she continues on her spiel. It's weird, I've seen my face in papers and magazines before, online all the time when we first got together, but the fact that someone actually used their screen time to talk about me? It's bizarre.


"Hey lady," I hear, looking up from my laptop to see Olivia peeping her head into my office, looking as obnoxiously put together as always. "How are you feeling?" I shot her a quick text while I was out, just telling her why I'd be gone for a day or two and I knew that this was coming.

"Not great, but the world keeps spinning right?" I tell her, trying to force a smile. In the past few months, Olivia has become invaluable to me, not only as a coworker, but as a wonderful friend. Don't get me wrong, I love Kim and Hailey with all of my heart, but they don't know boundaries and unsolicited advice is abundant. Olivia is easy and sometimes that was all I needed.

"Well, do you want to grab a drink tonight? There's a happy hour at O'Malley's?" She asks.

"I would love to, but I'm actually going to dinner at my parents place, Dad's grilling,"

"Oh well, don't miss that," She says, knowing what Hank can do on a grill remembering the steaks that Hank made when I brought her over for a family barbeque over the summer.

"But rain check?"

"Next Tuesday?" She asks.

"Sounds good," I reply as she slips out, an email popping up in my inbox with a name as the subject line, Nina Collins. That only means one thing, I've got a case. I quickly read through the email, noticing the pick up as Taft High School, a wave of relief washing over me because at least I know that she's safe. So I grab my bag and hit the road.


"Erin Lindsay," I say, presenting my badge to the front office of the William Howard Taft High School, "I'm with DCFS," I'm a little nervous, Nina's file said that she was 15 years old, which is nearly ten years older than the kids that I normally work with. Not saying that their lives have been any easier, but they're five, six, seven years and they're easier for me to handle. I have no idea what I'm getting myself into here.

"Yes of course," She says with a kind smile and a heavy Midwestern accent. "Ms. Collins is waiting for you with one of our counselors, I'd be happy to walk you down to Mrs. Westfall's office."

"That would be wonderful, thank you," I say, the plump woman beginning to lead me through the fluorescent, linoleum hallways of Taft High School, colorful murals swirling across the once white cinderblock walls.

"Here we are," She says, pushing open a heavy wooden door to reveal a small carpeted office, the walls covered in inspirational posters with tacky sayings. I notice a petite woman, sitting stiffly behind a desk with her blonde hair perfectly coiffed. Then as I move my eyes, I notice a skinny brunette with huge bags under her eyes and I have to do a double take because she's me. She is me before Hank.


I am very sorry about the long wait between these chapters, honestly I can't even remember when I last posted, but unfortunately I think that this will be the norm from now on as my summer isn't going to be any less busy than my school year. However I am in Chicago for the next month and I'm hoping I'll get some more inspiration to write and please know that I haven't given up on this story, it's just been taking me a little longer to write it. Thank you for reading and please review!

-Addie