"Mark," my mother exclaimed as I got out of the truck. I slammed the door shut and was sure I saw Bianca glare at me for it, but I wasn't paying attention. Again, I concerned myself with putting an appropriate distance between Roger and myself.
"Hi mom," I smiled. I was fairly sure my tone sounded nervous, a thought that seemed to be answered by the looks of everyone except my mother. Maybe it was just that everyone knew there was something we didn't want her to know. That seemed likely. She pulled me into a tight hug, slightly crushing my rib cage. "Mom," I choked, "I can't… can't-"
"Can't what dear?" she pulled back.
The moment she did I shot out, "Breathe." She laughed.
"My god, I'm not used to you being this thin." She held me out at arms length and seemed to inspect me. "Do you have enough money to buy food?"
"Yes mom," I assured her. It wasn't a lie. I had taken my old job at Buzzline back to pay the rent and pay for basic living necessities.
"Well, you're too thin," she said matter-of-factly. I glanced over her shoulder to look at Bianca. If my mother had taken a moment to look at the girl, she wouldn't say I was thin at all. Bianca was unhealthily thin, even for a girl six years younger than Roger and myself. I made a mental note to ask Roger if she had always been that thin later.
William and Sabrina both wrapped their arms around my neck and hung on me. I laughed. The kids were adorable, I had to admit. I heard footsteps coming from the house and looked up to see my father, Cindy's husband Robert, and Mr. and Mrs. Davis coming out to greet us. My pulse sped up a little seeing them. Robert was my father's ideal son. He was successful, charming, rich, good-looking, went to Stanford, everything my father wanted me to be. I always knew I would never measure up, but now it was enough to make me want to cry.
I glanced at Roger and read the expression on his face quite clearly. He wanted exactly what I wanted him to do; to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright.
The group of us spent a few minutes playing catch-up on each other's lives before moving the little get-together inside. Mrs. Davis, a kindly woman who was maybe in her mid to late forties, made spaghetti for dinner, and the table was already set. "I hope you guys are hungry," she said eagerly, setting a large bowl in the middle of the table.
"Starved," Roger assured her. I smiled.
"It looks great, Mrs. Davis," I mused. When everyone sat down and was served, my dad started the conversation with one of his less-than-amusing lawyer stories that my family always pretended to be interested in.
"So at the convention today, Robert and I were talking to one of the well-known lawyers from New Jersey, Harold Jefferson." Roger and I exchanged a shocked look. Joanne's father? I didn't know he was a lawyer too. "I couldn't believe it when I found out his daughter, Joanne- also a successful lawyer, from New York City, I think- was a lesbian. Of course, I hadn't heard the news from him, so I told him what people are saying, and he told me it was true. Imagine, such prominent figures, such a disgrace. I don't know what I'd do if one of my children was gay, but I'd try to cover it up as best as possible." Another shared glance between Roger and I, one of fear.
"Fucking queers," Mr. Davis muttered, just loud enough for the rest of us to hear.
"I don't see why it's such a big deal," Bianca shrugged, "I mean, they're still people who feel and love and need the way you and I do. They're just different. Now, imagine a world without diversity. Where's the fun in that?" I saw the corners of her mouth barely flip upward when she looked at Roger and I, though I'm pretty sure this was another gesture that went unnoticed by the rest of the table.
"There's a reason God created man and woman," Robert said, "If men were meant to love men and women to love women, He wouldn't have created us as separate structures." Man, how I hated Robert. He copied all of my dad's ideals and couldn't accept anyone who thought differently.
"Love is love," Bianca retorted simply, "Gender shouldn't play a role in it at all."
"Pretty deep for a seventeen year old." It wasn't meant to compliment her. It was meant to confuse her and make her second guess herself. In the few times I'd met Bianca, I knew she wasn't one to back down that easily.
"Thank you," she smiled. Now, Robert was confused. He had just lost an argument with a senior in high school. I had to smile smugly and saw that my expression was mirrored around the table in Roger, Bianca, and even Cindy's faces.
After dinner, Mr. Davis decided to show Robert and my dad around the city (which probably meant they were going to a sports bar to watch some sport that was on and drink with Mr. Davis's friends, as Roger said) and my mom and Mrs. Davis took William and Sabrina to a movie, leaving Bianca, Cindy, Roger, and I with the house to ourselves.
"Could you do me a favor and not go right upstairs to have sex?" Bianca asked as soon as everyone else was gone, "I just ate and know from my experience of hearing Roger with girls in high school that he's a screamer." I laughed. Roger and I had had this fight the other day when Jane, a waitress at the Life Café who had moved into Mimi's old apartment and become good friends with the bohemians, came up to ask us to tone it down. It all came down to who was louder, and Roger still wouldn't admit that it was him.
"It's okay Bianca," Roger assured her smugly, "We got our sex for today out on the train here."
"I don't want to hear about it." She threw her arms up and walked out into the living room. Roger, who was standing behind me, slid his arms around my waist and held me as close to him as possible.
"One helpful thing to know," he murmured into my ear, "If you ever want to get rid of her, just threaten her with talking about our intimate moments." I blushed.
"I don't like talking about our intimate moments with people who aren't related to us. Even Maureen, Joanne, Collins, and Jane," I replied, "Why do you think I'd even bring it up with your sister?"
He just laughed and turned me around to kiss me; another intense passionate kiss. "You know, we don't have to listen to her," he suggested, "And who knows if we'll get another chance to fuck this week."
"Rog," I scolded, "We can't. I owe her anyway. We both do. What she did at the table-"
"-Yeah yeah, I know," he sighed, "Standing up for us when we couldn't defend ourselves without getting caught. We could give her tonight with no awkwardness. It's going to get a whole lot worse for all of us later this week." I didn't know if he was just making a prediction or if he knew exactly what he was talking about, but I didn't care. All I really wanted was for him to hold me, at least until people started to get back.
Back in the living room, Cindy had curled up on one end of the sofa and Bianca on the other. Roger and I sat cuddled up on the love seat (I realized there was a reason the love seat was the only place open for a reason when I saw Cindy and Bianca smiling at each other. This had been prearranged with the two of them.) We decided on watching a movie; Dying Young. It was a story about a young nurse who falls in love with a man dying a blood cancer. I felt Roger stiffen when he heard Bianca read the end of the summary on the back of the box. "But they always know their love can not last because he is destined to die."
