A Chance Encounter
Chapter 2
Harry's POV
Oh my god! Oh. My. God! What the bloody hell just happened?! Harry was shaking uncontrollably. That was too close for comfort! Walking into the living room and setting his son on the couch, he fell into his recliner. He buried his face in his hands, elbows on his thighs, trying desperately to hold it together. It's been more than six years since I've seen Severus and he hasn't changed. I just didn't expect to feel so much when I looked at him. And when he touched me, the tingles went through my arms to my heart stopping me from speaking any further. Taking a shuttered breath, and I just ran…like a coward and Severus looked so…so what? Hurt? No, that can't be. He looked confused, he looked determined, he looked…. wonderful and beautiful and delicious. Shit… I am so fucked. But why do I feel this way? He broke it off with me, is it possible he misses me? Wants me? Loves me? It's difficult for me to wrap my mind around that after the way he broke it off…
˂Flashback˃
"Mate, I can't believe you have a detention with Snape tonight." Ron whined. They were supposed to go flying after dinner before Hermione made them study for upcoming exams. "It's not like it was your fault, he saw Nott toss that beetle in your cauldron and he still gave you detention!"
"Ron, It's ok. I'll go to the detention and then we'll go flying. Hermione will just have to understand that our time together is more important to me right now than studying for exams that are months away." Harry reassured Ron. "You know why I'm going to this detention anyways. Our time together is so limited that we must take it anywhere we can. "
"I know, but we had plans already. Didn't you tell him we were flying tonight?"
Scrunching his eyebrows in worry, "Yeah, but maybe something important came up or some news on Voldemort." Trying to lighten the mood, Harry bumped into Ron's shoulder and smirked up at him, laughing at Ron's upset attitude.
"Fine, but really Harry, you two go at it like rabbits. Haven't you had your fill for the week?" Ron smirked, looking down at Harry.
"Ha-ha, Ron. We don't always have sex. We talk, read, train with spells and shields, and then we have lots of amazing sex!" Harry laughed at Ron's horrified expression.
They made their way to the great Hall for dinner and sat in their normal spots. Hermione was already in her seat with her plate and her Charms book open on the table. Harry filled his plate with Sheppard's Pie and rolls, while Ron loaded his plate with a little of everything else on the table. Really, where did he put all that food?
"Harry, Ron" was all Hermione managed without looking up from her book.
They chuckled to each other, shook their heads, and dug in. Harry loved Hogwarts food and didn't want to think of the summer when he wouldn't be here to enjoy it. Although he is a good cook, and enjoys cooking for himself and Severus, he wasn't looking forward to returning to Grimmauld Place alone when he graduates from here.
They had a plan, Severus, and him. Harry would move into Grimmauld Place and Severus would finish his duties at Hogwarts. Then they would travel for the remainder of the summer until Severus needed to report back to Hogwarts. Harry still hadn't decided what to do with his life but knew one thing. He didn't want to be an Auror anymore. Maybe something with Warding or Security, two fields he is proficient and confident in.
Chancing a glance at the teachers table, Harry smiled when he caught the eyes of his lover. Snape just stared back, no expression on his face, and Harry winked at him before returning to his plate. He couldn't wait for detention.
They finished their meal in silence, and then Harry bid them good bye before he headed down to the dungeons. He shifted his bag onto his shoulder as he tried not to be so nervous about this detention, his stomach was in knots.
Severus knew Ron and he had plans tonight, so something must be wrong. Reaching the painting to Severus' quarters, Harry murmured the password and let himself in. Leaving his bag by the door, removing his robes, and hanging them on the wall, he made his way into the living area. The fire was burning bright and there were candles lit around the room. The black couch and recliner chairs in front of the fireplace were empty so Harry looked around for his lover. He noticed the lack of tea set and chess board on the table. That was unlike Severus not to have both sets out, so they could relax and wind down after their day. Immediately, Harry was on edge…something was definitely wrong.
"Harry, in here." Severus' deep voice came from his office and Harry made his way there.
"Why are you in here, Severus? Are you really going to make me clean dirty cauldrons?" Harry tried to look Severus in the eye, but the man was having none of it.
"No, Harry. We need to talk, and I thought this atmosphere would better suit the discussion. Come have a seat." Severus stated in his professor voice, avoiding eye contact, pointing to a chair in front to his desk.
Harry cringed. The Professor Voice. This was bad. This was indeed bad, and Harry felt his stomach lurch.
"This is not easy for me, Harry. But it is essential and needs to be addressed." The Potion Master took this time to glance up at his lover's face and was met with confused green eyes. Severus hardened his eyes. He closed off his emotions and his facial features. He continued, "We can't do this anymore, Harry. I can't be with you." Keeping his face emotionless, he watched as Harry processed what he just said.
"Wha..?" Harrys life just ended. It tilted on its axis and he was falling into a black abyss. Finding it hard to breathe, he tried again. "What are you saying? What exactly are you telling me, Severus? Because it sounds like your giving up on us…on me! What's really going on here? Whatever it is, we can work this out, we can get through this together!" By the end of his pleading, Harry is standing over the desk, eyes locked on obsidian ones unblinking.
The Professor just stared back, and Harry thought he wasn't going to respond, but then so abruptly he stood up making his chair fall back and with all the vitriol he could muster, he barked, "There is not an us, Potter! There will be no more doing anything together. You are so starved for attention that the possibility of me using you to relieve my urges never occurred to you! You were just a fuck, Potter, and nothing more! I can go anywhere for a meaningless fuck. You just happened to be willing and able and within proximity for my needs. I don't love you!"
Severus took a step forward, saying in a calm, and dangerous voice, "The Headmaster beseeched me to train you for battle and I complied. You are as prepared now as you are ever going to be. My job is done here! Go back to your little Gryffindor's and don't come back to me!" He pointed at the door as if to say, 'leave now', anger and loathing prominent on his face.
Beside himself, Harry just stared at the potion master in disbelief. "You're lying." Harry snarled back. Tears building up in his eyes but not falling. This was not happening, the taste of rejection sour in his mouth and he jumped to his feet and rounded the desk in the next second, grabbed the Professor's robes and rammed his back into the wall. He kissed the man hard, inhaling his scent, trying to hold onto the man that meant everything to him. "Why? Why are you doing this? I know you love me." He whispered over the professor's lips. He shook his head, "I never figured you for a coward!" He screamed that last part venomously.
At this point, Severus' face hardened more. Pushing Harry away from his body, he snarled, "Coward! I am not a coward! And you are a fool to believe that this could last, that this could be love!"
Harry just stared at him disbelieving, trying desperately to hold back the tears that wanted to escape his burning eyes, "S…So all the plans we made together…those were lies? What about all the things we said to each other, was that all lies too? I gave you everything…I gave you the most precious thing I owned! My body and soul and my love and you are going to just stand there and say none of it mattered to you!?" Harry shouted. Working himself up past the hurt to downright bloody pissed off. "Well, fuck you, Professor Snape!" Backing away and looking at the Professor in disgust. Then surprising both of them, he slapped the man hard across the face.
Shocked, but fueled by anger, Severus touched his face before he made a move. He grabbed Harry by the collar and threw him forward into the first row of desks. Harry landed hard on the desk then stumbled to the floor. He was hurt, in pain, and in shock. He looked up at Severus from the floor, his glasses askew, cradling his arm to his chest. Severus seemed to look shocked before he masked his face, saying, "How dare you! You are pathetic! None of it mattered, Potter, none of it! I don't love you and you are lucky I don't report you for hitting a professor. Get out, before I physically throw you out! Trust me, I will not be gentle!" He said in such a low dangerous tone, it's a wonder Harry heard it at all.
Harry just looked up at the dark man, hurt and anguished, he slowly got up from the floor, cradling his arm to his chest, and headed for the door limping slowly. He paused and turned to look at Severus one last time, with tears escaping his eyes he whispered lowly "I know what we had was real. Whatever your reason is for doing this, it's wrong and you're not just hurting me, but yourself. You will have to live with this decision, all of this…" sweeping his good around indicating the room with the scattered desks, "…forever. I want to wish you happiness, but I just can't seem to find it in myself to do that. I'll have Ron or Hermione come and get my things, goodbye Professor." With one last look into his ex-lover's eyes and not seeing anything, he turned around and left closing the door behind him.
Down the hallway and around the next corner, Harry slumped against the wall, waving his hand around putting up a silencing ward, he cried. The ache in his chest was pounding against his rib cage, he couldn't get enough air into his lungs and his eyes and face were swollen with tear tracks. He's never really cried tears for anyone or anything before. Not even for Sirius, but this was different. He had opened his heart and willingly given it to the potion master. "Oh, Merlin" he sobbed, and his body racked with pain and anguish, this is worse than any beating the Dursleys inflicted upon him. How am I going to live without him? Oh, Merlin! He sobbed. What did I do to make him fall out of love with me? Maybe he never got past me looking like my father, or maybe the age difference did matter to him, or maybe I wasn't good enough in bed for him, or maybe…. maybe he never did really love me…
After what seemed like hours, but was only minutes, Harry steeled himself and calmed his emotions to do what needed to be done. First a trip to the infirmary to get his arm fixed and second to do whatever he needed to do to survive this war so that, maybe, he can have the life he's always wanted and deserved.
Harry wiped his face with his good hand and using the wall, stood on shaky legs, dismantled the silencing charm, and made his way to the infirmary. Slowly at first, but with each step he took, he became taller and his strides quicker and his head higher until he made it to the infirmary doors. Making the decision that this will be his burden to carry, he will not tell his friends tonight… if ever. He knew he loved Severus Snape, the Potion Master of Hogwarts, the snarky dungeon bat, and all-around git. But, he won't stop living because the man doesn't want him. Life is too short to dwell on that; besides, he has a fucking crazy Dark Lord to slay dammit!
If I survive this war, I'm going to take a holiday for maybe a year before deciding what to do with the rest of my life, and if I don't survive….
"Mister Potter! What in Merlin's name happened to you?" Madame Pomfrey inquired, as she led him to a bed, interrupting Harry thoughts.
Steeling himself and wiping his hand down his face, he stated "I fell down a few steps, I think I dislocated my shoulder." Harry winced. Lying back on the bed, he closed his eyes, and let the medi-witch do her job.
"Just can't seem to keep you out of here can we, Mister Potter." She chuckled. Waving her wand over his shoulder and muttering in Latin.
"Seems not, Madame." Smiling back at her. "This was just me being clumsy, can't seem to get past my own two feet." He joked as she laughed along with him.
"Hmm, it's definitely dislocated, and I see a bruise forming on your tail bone. Stay put while I go fetch the potions I'll need." As she strolled off toward her office.
As soon as she was out of earshot, the tears started rolling down his face again. Taking a few deep and long breaths to calm himself, Harry winced at the pain not only in his shoulder but in his heart. His resolve is going to be greatly tested in the coming months.
"Come Mister Potter, calm down and take these potions to heal your injuries and as a precaution I brought you a calming draught. By the looks of you, I think you need it. Take these and I expect you to stay the night. You'll be well enough to attend breakfast tomorrow."
"Thanks." Taking the potions handed to him and lying back while drawing the covers over him and closing his eyes.
Madame Pomfrey moved Harry's hair away from his face as she summoned a wet flannel and began to wipe away the tear tracks. "Sleep Mister Potter, I'll check on you in the morning." She whispered to Harry, but he was already asleep.
˂End Flashback˃
Running a hand through his hair, Harry looked up to see Jackson watching him intently. Remembering what Jackson did at the Apothecary brought Harry back to reality.
"Daddy, I'm sorry," whimpered Jackson "I didn't wan' to scare you. I was just lookin' for some clean air. Please don't be mad at me?" Watching his father behaving strangely was too much for him and he felt the tears begin to swell in his eyes.
Shaking his head back and forth and looking into his son's eyes, Harry knew he had to tread carefully here. On the one hand, Jackson was in the wrong when he left the shop, but on the other hand he couldn't just blurt out that the man they had just met was his father and someone he still loved very much.
"I know son, I'm sorry for scaring you, but I love you so much and it frightens me when you do things like that. I need to know you're safe. I need to know when you're not next to me and I need for you to understand that as your daddy it's my job and my pleasure to keep you safe and out of harm's way. Do you understand that? I take that responsibility seriously and I need you to take your job just as serious. You cannot take off on your own, you are only six years old and anything could have happened to you and I would have been devastated." Harry got up and knelt in front of the child and hugged him, inhaling his scent, "I love you so much buddy" kissing his cheek.
"Come, you're going to stay in your room for the rest of the morning. You can come out for lunch and we'll finish packing everything else up." Standing and taking his son by the hand they walked to Jackson's room and Harry sat him on the bed. "I'll come for you when lunch is ready, ok buddy? I want you to think about what happened today and why I'm so upset." Jackson was staring at the duvet and playing with the hem of his jumper but nodded his head in acknowledgement.
"Love you, buddy, don't ever question that, ok?"
"Okay, daddy. Love you too." He sniffled but managed a small smile for his daddy's sake.
Authors Note:
I hope that everyone enjoyed this chapter. Reviews are always welcomed. I want to hear what you all think of this story so far. It is encouraging to a writer to read the feedback brought in by readers. It makes for more inspiration and more growth in writing. I am working on the next chapter already. Thanks for reading!
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