Disclaimer: All rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling.
A Chance Encounter
Chapter 3
Sitting in his chair staring into the fire and nursing a Fire whiskey, Severus was in deep thought about a boy and a man. Confused and a bit put out with himself, he downed the glass and poured another. What was going on? Why did this little child haunt him? Why is it that he can't get the vision of those beautiful green eyes out of his mind? The same sparkling, vibrant green eyes he loved to get lost in when he made love to Harry.
Merlin, he missed the brat.
Why did I not stay closer to Harry during the battle? Why did I not tell him the truth before the battle? Why did I have to hurt him like I did? And he did hurt him, it was difficult to witness what he had done to Harry. To stand by and spew hateful words at him. Lies…every word lies, but he thought it was the right thing for Harry. He never thought about talking about his fears. Why would he? He doesn't fear, he hates, he snarls, he's vindictive. But with Harry, he loved; loved so completely he lost himself. He loved Harry like he breathed air. He loved Harry and everything Harry was…is, everything the boy, no man, wanted he wanted too. He showed Severus what it was to have someone, to love someone so much that nothing else in your life mattered but that one person. To make them the center of all things, to have a friend in times where friendships came and went. Harry was his sun, his salvation, his conscious, his lover and most important his reason for surviving the war.
Disgusted with himself, he stood up abruptly, knocking over his chair and the coffee table next to it, he snarled at the fire, throwing his glass with such force it shattered to practically dust and screamed, "I know why! Because I am a coward!" Shoulders slumping in defeat, Severus dropped to his knees and cried, cried for the first time since the final battle. Heart wrenching, shoulders spasm sobs he couldn't control. Landing on his hands and knees, he spent himself of his grief before he slowly came back to himself. Rubbing his chest, wincing at the lingering pain there and then wiping the tears from his face with his sleeve, he looked up to the fireplace, at the picture of Harry and himself. That's when he decided it was time to find his Harry. It was time to stop feeling sorry for himself, stop feeling lonely and lost and unloved…. he needs Harry, he needs Harry's love. He can admit that now, he needs, and most importantly, he wants Harry; his dreams, his companionship, his Gryffindor ways, and most of all, his undying and unconditional love.
Taking calming breaths and sitting back in the chair, Severus wonders again about the child from Diagon Alley. He's a smart man. He had to be to survive two wars and two manipulative masters. He can figure this out. His gut is telling him the child is a product of his coupling with Harry. That child, he wants to believe, is his child…his son. His five or six-year-old son that he's missed the first formative years of his life and his birth. He missed being there for his lover while swollen with child. No. I cannot go there now, no feeling sorry for myself when I need to figure out my next step.
Moving to his lab, he retrieved his ornate pensieve, a gift from the late Headmaster, and placed it on the coffee table in front of the couch. Pulling out the memory of the man and child, he placed it into the pensieve, stirred it with his wand then went in. He watched the whole memory three times and each time he felt like he was connected to the child. Letting himself get drawn in by those big green eyes, that expression of love for his dad, his self-confidence and passion for what he believes in. All these things are calling to Severus and he wants so badly to answer the call. He wants this child to be his. He also studied the man, Ethan. His posture and facial expressions that he tried to mask and only repeated visits to the memory was how Severus concluded that Ethan was hiding something.
Rubbing his face with both hands and letting out a frustrated puff, Severus thought about his next course of action. Absently rubbing at his chest, at the lingering pain, he came to a few decisions on what to do next. First, he needs to get the ball rolling on locating this Ethan person. While he's waiting on information on him, he needs to do some research. If this is Harry and he carried a child, this could explain a few things. Male pregnancies are a special event and only occur with certain conditions. Grabbing a piece of blank parchment and a quill, he pens a letter to Author Weasley at the Ministry, marking it as urgent and top priority. Hopefully Arthur will help him in a timely manner. For some reason, this feels like something that needs figuring out sooner rather than later, for both their wellbeing. This need to know all about Ethan Morningside is crushing against his need to breathe as well as his sanity, hopefully Arthur will come through for him.
After the letter is away, he returns to his lab to finish the potions for Poppy he wasn't able to finish earlier in the day. He decides to stop at the library after lunch and get as many books on male pregnancies he can find. Maybe Albus' book collection could help also, I will ask the Headmistress during lunch today if I can peruse the book collection.
After finishing the last potion for the hospital wing and cleaning up, Severus heads to the Great Hall for Lunch. During the summer, there aren't many teachers calling Hogwarts their home. There's the Headmistress, Minerva, Argus Filch and his cat Mrs. Norris, Hagrid, and Severus. Meals are a more informal affair, cozier, family style if you will, than they are normally during the school session. Instead of a long table able to seat twelve people at the head table, there sat a smaller table seating up to six people. Finding his seat next to Minerva, he began to put ham sandwiches and salad on his plate and fill his goblet with pumpkin juice.
"Are you alright, Severus?" Minerva asked looking slightly worried at him. "You're looking quite put out."
Looking sideways at her, Severus gave her his most menacing glare, "I'm perfectly fine." Huffing out an exasperated breath "Having to run YOUR errand has put me BEHIND in my own work." Clenching his teeth together so as not to say anymore, he looked at his plate of food and just stared.
"Exactly…. you don't like ham." Minerva stated as she pointed her pinky to his plate while forking salad into her mouth. "What's really bothering you today?" Concerned with the expression on her potion master's face, Minerva sighed, "Severus, why don't come to my office after you have finished here for a drink."
Dark eyes looked up to meet the concerned face of his friend, "Yes, I would like that very much. Minerva, if I may, while I'm in your office, may I look through the library?"
Nodding her head in agreement, she picked up her glass and took a sip of water, staring at nothing but watching Severus at the same time. She'd like to think the two of them have become close friends over the years. Well, as close as Severus would allow, but close enough that she knew something was amiss. They confide in each other on school related topics but rarely on personal matters, however she has the feeling that this conversation would be of the personal persuasion. Watching him now, she could see that whatever is upsetting her Professor must be big because she can't remember a time when he wasn't in control of his actions. Well, that's not entirely true, she did see him break down the day of the final battle, here at Hogwarts. That day would be etched in her psyche until the day she died. It was right after Miss Granger and Mister Weasley had come inquiring if she'd seen Harry. For no one had seen him since the gathering in the Great Hall following the battle.
Finishing her salad, she lost herself in thought about that day and what could have happened to young Harry. She loved him like her own and had been just as devastated that he was nowhere to be found. Looking sideways at Severus, she remembered how he took the news and felt deep sorrow and compassion for her friend. That was the day she found out about their love affair and how it ended and about his plans to win Harry back only to find out Harry was gone. Not even his closest friends knew where he was and that in of its self was saying a lot. The three of them were inseparable and so the implications of what it meant that they didn't know anything was inconsolable for Severus and he broke down.
Smiling to herself, she remembered the look on his face when he realized that Miss Granger and Mister Weasley weren't surprised at the admission of their relationship and that they had known about it since the beginning. That along with the fact that no one anywhere knew of the whereabouts of Harry, threw Severus into raging fit that destroyed his office and classroom and almost Severus himself. He was lost, so lost that after he destroyed everything in sight, he fell into a catatonic state and remained there for over a week. Being cared for by Poppy and Minerva herself. She didn't want it to get out that Severus Snape, the most hated potions master, had a heart and a broken one at that.
After she finished her lunch, Minerva headed to her office to await the arrival of her Professor. On the way there, she thought of the many things that could be troubling the man, but mostly she thought of Harry Potter. She still has a hard time putting them two together, however they must have made quite the couple. I wish I could have seen them two together just once. Making it back to her office she sat herself behind her big, uncluttered desk and called for a house elf for tea, biscuits, and a bottle of her finest whiskey in case he wanted something stronger. While waiting, she couldn't help but worry about her friend's state of mind, especially after what she witnessed today at lunch. Severus has always been a stern man, a bitter, mean man when it fits him, but never a lost man.
There was a knock at the door and she ushered Severus inside to a chair in front of her desk and offered him tea or something stronger. Of course, he chose something stronger, whiskey. Watching her Potion Professor sitting across from her, she couldn't help but compare what she was seeing now to what happened after the final battle. Sighing, she decided to jump all in and start the conversation she knew she shouldn't.
"Out with it, Severus. What's troubling you?"
Severus looked up at this and slumped heavily in the huge chair in front of her desk. "I think..." He what?... Scrunching his face, he started again "Minerva, do you believe Harry to be dead?" Yes, that's the question that he needed the answer to because deep down in his gut, he was beginning to believe he met his Harry this afternoon.
"No, I do not think he is dead, Severus. What's this all about?"
"So, you believe he left on his own, forsaking all his Weasley family and his two best friends?" he asked trying to keep the hope out of his voice that Harry is still out there somewhere.
"Well, I would've hoped he kept in touch with the Weasleys and such but given what he had to endure with the final battle and losing you and then Remus, I wouldn't put it past him to leave and make a life for himself. Severus, you knew him better than me, but I'd like to think that I knew a part of him and if I had to make a sound judgement call here, I'd say he left and changed his name and made a good life for himself. Maybe found happiness with someone and started a family. He deserved that much, and he would have never gotten that here and you know that. He would've been hounded by the press and his life would not have been his own. I miss him very much, but I take comfort in thinking he is happy away from here. And, if he decides to grace us with his company again, I will welcome him with open arms and support him, not question his actions." She stated firmly.
"Here here! Well said, Minerva, well said." Albus beamed from behind the Headmistress' desk. With that damn twinkle in his eye, Albus watched Severus intently. "You've seen him, haven't you child?" Smirk well in place, stoking his long beard, he continued "My boy… Severus… my friend, if you love that man like I believe you do, then there is no question what you should do. You owe it to yourself to do whatever it takes to be happy and if Harry is that happiness, then go on…grab it and don't ever let it go again." Albus was standing at the edge of the canvas, looking at him with such love and admiration. He knew Harry was out there and wondered how long it would take for his friend to come to his senses and go after him.
"Albus…" Minerva chided, "He never stated he saw Harry, you are such a romantic! Love this and Love that, really Albus, don't you think that if Severus here saw Harry that he would…" Minerva whipped her head back to the potion master and breathed out "you did see Harry… didn't you?"
Severus smirked at Minerva and smiled up at Albus. "I am not sure. I did meet someone today in Diagon Alley, someone with a small child that looked to be around five or six years old. Albus, the child had my face and Harry's eyes, but the man…" he trailed off thinking about what he needed to say. The man was wearing a glamour, I just know it, and that makes sense with the way the man bolted from me… "It is possible that he was Harry. The pieces seem to fit." he whispered to himself but Albus heard anyways.
"Severus is that what your heart is telling you?" Albus was practically shinning with glee. "Find him then, my friend. Find him and bring our Harry home." Albus was looking at the potion master with such emotion, his eyes beyond twinkling. "Do you have doubt you can find him?"
"No, Albus. I need Harry too much not to find him. I will not fail at this task, I promise you."
Minerva was up out of her chair and rounding the desk to stand in front of him. "Bring him home, Severus. We all miss him. School doesn't start back up for a bit, take this time and go. If you're not back by start of term, I'll get Mr. Malfoy to teach until your return."
"Why? Why would you do this for me?" He couldn't believe what she was saying to him. She was allowing him personal time and he just couldn't grasp that. Something fluttered over his expression but then was gone. He was overwhelmed by her generosity, but he couldn't let her see that. Touching his chest to ease the ache, he looked back at her with questioning black eyes.
"Because, my friend, we all deserve happiness and love in our lives and I believe that Albus, Merlin help me for saying this, is right. Harry is your happiness."
"I couldn't have said it better myself!" The painting exclaimed from behind the desk. "Severus, I believe you need to do this, go find him and be happy." The ex-Headmaster looked to Severus with a look the potion master had never seen the older man aim at him. What is that...concern? Severus nodded his agreement to the Portrait and looked back to Minerva.
"I require the use of your book collection, Minerva, tonight if at all possible" He stated.
"Yes, of course, Severus. Follow me." She moved to a door that is well hidden in the shadows and pushed it open to reveal a miniature library filled to the ceiling with old and new books and scrolls.
"May I take them to my rooms?" he asked while gazing at the amount of knowledge stuffed into this seemingly small room.
"Severus, I trust you, take whatever you need, but please do return them when you are done." She smiled at him and left him to it.
Walking around the shelves and reverently touching the spines of each book, he was in awe of the collection. There are Light Magic books and extremely Dark Magic books and everything in-between. A very dangerous collection to be stored in a school full of nosey kids.
Coming back to himself, Severus accio-d anything on male pregnancies, four books in all, and shrunk them down and placed them in his robe pocket. Exiting the room, he found the Headmistress and Albus waiting on him with inquiring looks. He was not about to discuss this topic with either of them. "Well, if you two will excuse me, I would like to get started on this as soon as possible."
"Of course, Severus. Please inform me of your progress and, if you could, would you please let me know when you leave the Castle. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and I pray for you to be successful in your search, Severus. You are my friend and I hope you see me as your friend too." Putting her hands on his shoulders and squeezing, she gave him a toothy smile.
Lifting the left side of his mouth in an almost smile, "Thank you Minerva. I will keep you posted." And with that, he turned and left the office.
After the door shut, Minerva turned her gaze to Albus, "Do you think it's possible, Albus?"
"Anything is possible, Minerva. But yes, yes I do." And with that he turned to exit his portrait and Minerva poured herself three fingers of whiskey and downed it in one go. This is going to be an interesting year.
A/N: Sorry for the late update. Hope you readers enjoyed this chapter. Reviews are always welcome. -lovetoreadseverusdotcom
