A/N:
Actually, this story has been sitting around on my hard drive most of the way done for quite a while now; I just needed to tweak a few things and slap an ending on it. Even though I know I should be studying for finals and blah blah blah whatever, I just finished my big, nasty, ugly research paper on Jack the Ripper so I figured some sort of celebration was in order (Man, I went TOTALLY overboard on that thing. The professor asked for eight pages and I ended up with thirty-five...). But anyway, it's over, so hurray!Hmm… I'm a little bit worried that this turned out kind of melodramatic…
Prank
"Meow," Fai said, twirling in a drunken circle and stumbling into Tomoyo. "Meow meow meow!"
Yuuko laughed and pushed Fai's nose playfully as though it were a button. "You, Fai D. Flowrite, are completely smashed!"
"Meow? How did you know?" he asked, holding out his last syllable to give his question a whiney tone.
"You always meow when you're drunk, Fai san!" Tomoyo giggled. Yuuko nodded, taking another drink from her sake bottle. She pulled it away from her lips with a smack and sighed in satisfaction before hiccupping.
Now it was Fai's turn to laugh at her. "You look like you're pretty drunk, too, Yuuko san! Meow!"
"Careful, Fai," she warned jokingly. "I can fire you for saying stuff like that! Don't forget, I am your boss!"
"How many fingers am I holding up then, meow?" Fai asked her smugly, putting up four fingers.
Yuuko squinted. "Six? No, seven!" she declared.
"Wrong!" the blond chirped. "The answer is eleven, meow!"
Yuuko frowned in drunken, confused thought. "You don't even have eleven fingers!"
"Well, since we're all drunk," Tomoyo interrupted, "you know what we have to do now!"
"Prank calls!" Yuuko and Fai cheered simultaneously.
Tomoyo giggled again as she pulled out the Horitsuba Inc. employee directory. "Who wants to make the call?"
"Pick the victim first!" Yuuko ordered, jabbing her finger in the air above her head.
"Yes! The victim!" Fai echoed. The two of them clung to each other eagerly as they waited in suspense for Tomoyo to make a selection. The dark-haired woman closed her eyes, flipped to a random page and pointed to a name. Then she opened her eyes so that she could read it.
"Kurogane Youou!" she shouted. The three of them all squealed in delight.
"You have to do it, Fai!" Yuuko insisted. "He's your crush so you have to be the one to call him!"
"Alright, which line should I use?" Fai asked, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet and sloshing sake onto the floor.
"Just use one of the regular stupid ones," Yuuko advised.
"Yes, the sillier it is, the angrier it will make him!" Tomoyo agreed.
"Ok, where's the phone?"
Yuuko dug around in her pocket and pulled out her cell phone, which she handed to him.
"Read me the number!" he requested.
Tomoyo obliged.
The phone rang. Kurogane's eyes snapped open, gleaming savagely in the moonlight that filtered in through his blinds. He glanced over at the clock on his nightstand. It was three-thirty in the morning. Who the fuck was calling him? When he found out who it was, he was going to shout them to hell and back; that would teach them to call at such a stupid hour. He felt around on the nightstand until he found his phone.
"This'd better be pretty damn good, ass hole!" he snarled groggily.
"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" the caller asked. Kurogane could hear a couple of women giggling manically in the background which only served to annoy him further.
"Who the hell is Prince Albert?" Kurogane snapped.
"Then you'd better go catch him!" the caller shouted, laughing just as crazily as the women who were with him.
"WHAT THE HELL--?!"
It was too late; the caller had already hung up. Kurogane didn't need to be fully conscious to realize that he had just been prank-called. And boy, was he ever pissed about it. He slammed the phone back down on its cradle. If he ever found out who had called him just now, he swore he'd kill them. Until then, he just turned his back to the phone furiously and tried to return to sleep.
Yuuko, Fai and Tomoyo gasped, trying to catch their breath after having laughed so hard.
"Oh, that was absolutely brilliant, Fai!" Yuuko sighed, wiping tears of laughter from her eyes. "Especially the way you said the wrong punch-line; that really put the icing on the cake!"
"Did I really, meow?" Fai asked, grinning drunkenly. "Ah ha ha! That was completely by accident!"
"I can't remember the last time I had so much fun!" Tomoyo said.
"Well, if you're as drunk as I am, I don't think you're going to remember it tomorrow, either," Yuuko slurred. "You're both staying here tonight, by the way. You're in no condition to drive."
"In that case," Fai trilled, "I call the couch, ok? Meow, meow."
Without waiting for an answer, he plopped down on the couch. Tomoyo sank down next to him and flopped over to rest her head on the blond's shoulder.
"I'm going to cuddle with you tonight, ok Fai san?" Tomoyo decided, looping her arms around Fai's delicate neck. "You're so nice and warm…"
"How could I say no to a request like that?" Fai said, smiling.
"You two behave yourselves, now," Yuuko warned jokingly. "I don't want to have to come out here and separate you, if you know what I mean."
"You know Kuropii's my only love, Yuuko san," Fai replied as he lay down with Tomoyo.
"And Sakura chan is my only love," Tomoyo declared, yawning.
"Alright," Yuuko agreed as she switched off the light. "But I'm trusting you two."
She needn't have bothered with a response; the two of them had already sunken into a drunken slumber.
Fai was stunned the next morning when he awoke without a raging hangover and basically feeling rested, regardless of the fact that it had been around three forty-five when they went to sleep last night and it was now eight thirty. By all accounts it didn't make sense; not that he was complaining, of course. Though now that he thought about it, he wondered vaguely why any of them had ever thought it would be a good idea to get completely hammered on a weeknight when all three of them had to work the next morning.
"Mm, good morning, Fai san," Tomoyo mumbled from where her head was resting against his chest. "Thank you for being my pillow last night; you did a wonderful job."
Fai grinned. "Glad that I could help out! Are you hungover, Tomoyo chan?"
Tomoyo sat up and rubbed her eyes, then paused a moment as she assessed her physical status. "Actually, I don't think I am. How strange… How about you, Fai san? Are you feeling alright?"
"Surprisingly, yes," he answered as he stood up and stretched his arms high above his head. "I don't have a headache or anything."
"Goodness, aren't we lucky!" Tomoyo marveled. Then she looked at the clock. "Oh, we really should be getting to work, since we both feel ok."
"Shall we check on Yuuko san first?" Fai asked.
Yuuko, as it turned out, was considerably less lucky.
"Who's shooting canons in my house?" she moaned when Tomoyo tapped lightly on her door. "Stop it… Ooh, my head…"
"Oh dear, I guess Yuuko san has one, then," the younger woman sighed. Quietly she eased open the door.
"'Sat you, Tomoyo?" Yuuko croaked, squinting through the partial darkness. "How come you don't look like you're dying?"
"Fai san and I are both fine," she replied cheerfully. "I guess we really got lucky, huh?"
"Ugh…I hate you guys," Yuuko groaned, clutching her head. "You're both fired."
"Anything you say, Yuuko san," Tomoyo said lightly. "Since we're both feeling alright, Fai san and I were going to go to work. Is there anything I can get for you before we go?"
"A new brain," she ordered miserably. "One that isn't soaked in five hundred gallons of alcohol."
"Anything else?" Tomoyo asked.
"Ugh…bring me my eki kyabe and a whole buttload of coffee," Yuuko whined.
"Ok!" Tomoyo chirped. She twirled around and began to skip out of the room.
"And for god's sakes, quit skipping like that!" the boss demanded. "Makes me wanna kill you."
Fai had to bite his lip to suppress a squeal of joy when he entered the break room to find Kurogane nodding off over a Styrofoam cup of black coffee. Those who knew about Fai's crush on Kurogane could never seem to understand it. After all, the two of them may have worked together for the past five years but they really didn't know each other that well and had had very little in the way of serious conversation. Besides that, they all complained that Kurogane had too short a fuse.
He honestly didn't care that Kurogane was short-tempered and gruff; Fai thought he was absolutely stunning and that his temperament was part of his charm. His every move was so precise and direct, somehow graceful without being the least bit effeminate. Kurogane's scarlet eyes, though often veiled with boredom, concealed a burning passion and every time his gaze settled on Fai, the blond could feel his heart soaring. When he wasn't yelling or cussing someone out, Kurogane's voice was smooth and steady and deep. Fai often caught himself daydreaming about what that voice might sound like if it were being used to whisper sweet words in his ear.
The blond poured himself a cup of coffee to which he added liberal amounts of cream and sugar (he only liked coffee when there was so much other stuff mixed with it that it no longer tasted like coffee) before sliding into a chair beside his lethargic co-worker.
"Are you sleepy, Kurochan?" Fai purred, taking hold of his arm and startling Kurogane out of his torpor. "Did you have a late night last night?"
"Nah, some dumbass prank called me at three-thirty in the freaking morning and after that I couldn't go back to sleep," he grumbled.
Fai, who had just taken a sip of his coffee, promptly choked on it at the mention of the previous night's mischief. Kurogane glanced at him suspiciously, his eyes narrowed.
"What was that about?" he demanded.
"Nothing, Kuropon," Fai coughed. "I just swallowed some of my coffee the wrong way."
Kurogane didn't look convinced. Once he had managed to clear the errant coffee from his windpipe, Fai regained his smile and took Kurogane's muscular arm lovingly.
"If you're tired, Kurotan, you could come to my office and take a nap on my couch," he offered quietly. "And if you're a good doggy, I might even come over and cuddle with you."
Kurogane's face flushed a brilliant shade of red as he shoved the blond in the side of the head and quickly stood, tripping over his chair in his hurry to get away. Fai watched him in mild amusement as the dark-haired man made a mad dash for his own office and heard a click as he locked himself securely inside.
"Is that a yes, then?!" Fai called after him.
"IT'S A 'HELL NO, AND IF YOU EVER ASK ME WEIRD SHIT LIKE THAT AGAIN, I'LL KILL YOU', BASTARD!!" Kurogane snapped through the wall that separated them.
Fai shrugged and took a drink of his coffee. "Oh well; it was worth a shot."
In spite of the horrendous hangover that Yuuko had sustained as a result of their last drinking party and her irritation with her two favorite employees that they had not shared her suffering, the three of them invariably got together for another drinking party that weekend, this time at Tomoyo's house. Fai was in charge of supplying the wine. He brought an expensive bottle of fruity liquor that he had been given by his twin brother who owned a restaurant in Italy. He basked in the praise as the other two marveled over his prize and took great pride in uncorking it and pouring it into the delicate Champaign glasses.
"Mm, Yuui san has excellent taste, Fai san," Tomoyo sighed happily after taking a sip.
"I suppose it runs in the family, hmm?" Fai grinned.
"By the way, Fai," Yuuko said. "I never heard what happened between you and Kurogane after our little prank calling session a few nights ago."
"Nothing much," the blond admitted regretfully. "The morning after, I found him falling asleep in the break room and when I asked him why he was so tired he said it was because some idiot had prank called him at three thirty in the morning and he hadn't been able to go back to sleep. When he said that, I kind of choked on my coffee, so I think he might have guessed it was me who'd called. He's been watching me pretty close ever since but every time I try to talk to him, he finds some excuse to leave."
"Uh oh, he's suspicious!" Yuuko squealed joyfully, clapping her hands.
"I can't say I mind him watching me, though," Fai said with a sly smile. "When he looks at me with those gorgeous red eyes of his all narrowed in suspicion, my heart goes wild!"
"Sounds like love to me!" Tomoyo sang.
"It really does, doesn't it?" Fai agreed, blushing ever so slightly.
"I'm still not quite sure what you see in that guy," Yuuko said, swirling the deep red liquor in her glass absentmindedly. "He's such a grump!"
"Yes, but…" Fai paused thoughtfully. "That's part of what's so cute about him. Even though we don't get much chance to really talk, I've had plenty of time to watch him, so…"
"And?" Tomoyo prompted eagerly.
"He's so passionate and sure of himself," Fai sighed. "And even though he's not the most eloquent guy in the world, he's always honest, so when he gives a compliment, you know he means it. He's intelligent, too, and observant…"
The two women smiled softly as they listened to Fai talk about the one he loved. It was unusual to hear the blond speak about himself and how he felt so both of them considered it a rare privilege.
"I used to think that Kurosama was just an angry guy, but… after watching him for so long, I'm pretty sure that yelling and pretending to be mad is just his way of covering up his true sweetness," he concluded fondly.
"Yep, our Fai is totally smitten, alright!" Yuuko gushed, pinching his cheek affectionately.
"Ouchy!" Fai whined playfully. "Stop it, Yuuko san; you're embarrassing me!"
"I think we might just have to give Kurogane-dearest another call tonight!" Tomoyo piped.
"Oh, definitely!" Yuuko agreed. "But not until we've had a little more of this fabulous wine!"
"Right!" Fai chirped, pouring her another glass.
Kurogane stepped out of the bathroom, towel drying his hair after his evening shower. He had hoped that the steam and hot water rushing over his body, cleansing away the dirt and sweat of the day might also cleanse away the constant thoughts of his annoying blond co-worker that had been plaguing him recently. It hadn't worked; Fai was planted as firmly in his mind as he had been for the past couple of days.
The dark-haired man was sure that it had been Fai who had prank called him that night. It had sounded like him, and the way he had choked on his coffee when Kurogane had mentioned it to him just made him even more suspicious. That was what had caused him to take extra notice of Fai recently.
Every time the two of them were in the same room, Kurogane found his eyes irresistibly drawn to him. That was understandable, he supposed, since he was looking for any other signs to prove Fai's guilt, but the way he couldn't seem to tear his eyes away, no matter how hard he tried, worried him slightly. And was it normal that Kurogane had a secret picture of the blond tucked away in his underwear drawer that he felt compelled to take out and stare at every so often? Somehow Kurogane doubted it. Still, he couldn't keep from taking it out right then to look at it.
It wasn't like Kurogane had been sneaking around with a camera so that he could secretly take a picture of Fai; Yuuko had just left it on his desk a couple of months ago. He still had no idea what had made her do that, but frankly, he wasn't complaining. Kurogane looked down at the picture in his hands. Fai was wearing a dressy polo shirt with the collar unbuttoned and a pair of mirrored sunglasses which he was lowering slightly so that he could peer out over the rims of them. His pale lips were curved in a gentle smile and the light danced playfully in his sapphire eyes. There was no denying it; Fai was beautiful. As much as he hated to admit it, and as much as he had been annoyed by that stupid prank call that he had gotten, Kurogane found himself half wishing that he would receive another one so that he could confirm whether Fai was the one behind it.
When the phone rang two hours later, Kurogane felt his heart skip a beat. It was late, and it was highly unlikely that any normal person would be calling him at this hour. People tended to be scared of him, so that already limited the number of calls that he got even during daytime hours. Could it be that prank call he had been hoping for? He snatched up the phone.
"Yeah, what?" he asked, trying to keep the anticipation out of his voice. Kurogane still wasn't quite sure why he was getting so worked up over a stupid prank call. He knew that it was only going to piss him off, so why was his heart pounding at the prospect of hearing a certain voice on the other end of the line? Already he could hear the two women giggling insanely in the background again, and that made his heart beat even faster.
"I have a problem," the drunken speaker replied loudly.
"Damn right, you do!" Kurogane snapped. "Quit calling me, dumbass!"
"My refrigerator's running!" the caller announced, trying rather unsuccessfully to choke back his laughter. One of the women spoke up from the background.
"You got it wrong again!" she giggled. "You're supposed to say 'there's a crack in my butt'!"
Kurogane thought the woman's voice sounded strangely familiar, but he couldn't place it.
"Oops, sorry… There's a crack in my butt! Ah ha haaa!" the mysterious caller cackled, before hanging up on him.
Kurogane closed his eyes and took a deep breath, squeezing his phone tightly as he tried to reign in his temper. He was fairly certain that the caller had been Fai; more certain than he had been before, anyway. Somehow knowing that just made him angrier. It was all Kurogane could do to restrain himself from throwing the phone at the wall.
Over the course of the next month and a half, Kurogane received three more drunken prank calls. By this time, Kurogane was 99.9 percent positive that Fai was the one behind them. What he still lacked was solid, undeniable proof. Although it hadn't been unusual for Fai to flirt with him before, his antics seemed to have reached new levels of annoying. Kurogane left work almost every day wanting to kick that stupid blond's ass right out the seventh storey window.
It disturbed him that Fai hadn't backed off by now. Kurogane had figured that if he did his best to ignore him, Fai would eventually get bored and leave him alone but apparently he'd thought wrong. Plus, usually when someone was pissing him off, Kurogane had no problem taking the offender out back and giving them a good pummeling. No one dared to mess with him, and those who did tended to regret it very deeply. So why couldn't he just give Fai the same treatment? The guy was scrawny; Kurogane doubted that he'd be able to put up a serious fight, so the job ought to be a breeze. Why couldn't Kurogane bring himself to do it?
He hadn't been expecting another prank call that night. It came much earlier in the evening than all the previous ones had. Not only that, but it happened on a weeknight. Aside from the first one, all the other prank calls had been made on the weekend. Kurogane was in the middle of having a beer and watching the news when the phone rang. He sighed and muted the TV before answering it.
"Yeah?" he grunted impatiently.
"Now what sort of answer is that?" the caller pouted. "You're supposed to say 'hello' when you pick up the phone!"
"God, not you again," Kurogane groaned. "Don't you have something better to do than harass me all the time?"
"Well, maybe," the caller admitted. "But… every time I see you, you look kind of lonely so I thought I might keep you company for a bit."
"…Hmph, I'm not lonely," the dark-haired man insisted. This was partially true; Kurogane liked having a lot of time to himself since most other people just ended up bothering him. But still, he couldn't help wishing from time to time that he had someone whom he enjoyed spending time with. The only problem was that his pride wouldn't allow him to admit to this, especially not to the likes of this guy. "And even if I was, I sure as hell wouldn't need a moron like you to keep me company."
There was a pause on the other end of the line, and Kurogane wondered fleetingly if the guy had hung up on him.
"Hmm, well, even if you're not lonely, I'm bored," the caller chirped. "You're not busy now are you? If you talk to me, you won't be lonely and I won't be bored and then we'll both be happy!"
Even though there were who-knew-how-many miles between the two of them, Kurogane knew a lie when he smelled it, and he was definitely catching a whiff of one now. "Look bastard, if I wanted to be lied to then I'd watch the freaking political debates!" he snapped. "I hate it when people try to feed me bullshit, so don't even bother with it!"
The caller, to Kurogane's fury, just feigned innocence. "Eh? What do you mean? I really am bored and I really do want to keep you company."
"Even if you were worried about me a little bit, the main reason you called me is because you were lonely! I don't know what you were hoping to achieve by hiding it but it's only gonna piss me off so just cut it out! There's no point in me talking to you if you're just going to tell lies!"
The caller was silent for a moment, seemingly stunned and at a loss for what to do. Then there was a click and Kurogane was hearing the dial tone. He huffed as he hung up the phone and un-muted the TV. There was no reason for him to feel guilty, he told himself. The other guy was the one at fault for calling him all the time and then lying about his reasons for doing it. Kurogane still wasn't positive the person he had just finished talking to was Fai, but he was pretty sure now. Even though they didn't talk all that often, Fai was one of the only people who could throw him into such a passionate rage the way the mysterious caller just had.
Fai sighed and stretched his arms above his head. He had had to stay at work a bit later than usual to get everything done, but he was finished now. Since he had been so busy all day, the blond felt the need to relax and unwind. His first thought was to stop at a bar for a drink but he realized that he had been drinking with Yuuko and Tomoyo quite frequently lately and decided that maybe more alcohol wasn't what he needed. Fai locked up his office and headed for the building's exit, still trying to decide what he would do with his evening. He rounded a corner and ran right into something large and solid.
"Oh, Kuropun!" Fai laughed. "Goodness; that surprised me!"
"Tch. Watch where you're going, idiot," Kurogane snarled.
"Sorry, Kuropiko," he said. "I guess I was so busy trying to decide what to do tonight that I wasn't really paying attention."
The taller man snorted and inserted some change into the vending machine that he had been stopped at when Fai had bumped into him. Fai watched absentmindedly as Kurogane selected two drinks from the machine and bent down to retrieve them from the vending slot. To the blond's astonishment, Kurogane shoved one of the bottles into his hands. Fai blinked in surprise at the sweet, cold chocolate-coffee drink he had been given and looked curiously up at his co-worker.
"Wake up and quit walking around in a daze," Kurogane mumbled, blushing and looking away. "It's dangerous."
"Hmm? Is Kuropipi worried about me?" Fai giggled as he opened his drink.
"Don't be stupid," the other man huffed, focusing on his own drink so he wouldn't have to meet Fai's eyes. "I just don't want you wandering out into the street like a dumbass and getting hit by a bus so that the police have to block off the whole damn road. It'd be a hassle for me to have to find another way home."
"If you say so, Kuromyuu," Fai purred, taking Kurogane's arm as he sipped his coffee and leading him toward the exit, too. Kurogane made a show of being irritated but let Fai pull him along. "Are you doing anything tonight, Kurowanko? I was thinking about getting a movie and ordering pizza."
"Why are you asking me?" Kurogane demanded, his cheeks still burning. "Go bother someone else!"
"But you're already here, Kurochii!" Fai pointed out. "Besides… Yuuko san bet me two thousand yen that I couldn't persuade you to do something with me and I could use the money, you know? But since you'd be doing me a favor by accepting, I guess I could split it with you…"
There was that smell in the air again; the smell of lies being told. Kurogane pried Fai off of him and looked him straight in the eyes. Fai, caught off guard, looked slightly frightened for a moment before he was able to gloss it over with a grin.
"I don't waste my time on liars," Kurogane told him sternly, "not as friends or anything else. Once you're done screwing around, then maybe I'll think about it for a minute before saying no, but until then leave me the hell alone."
Kurogane stalked off then, out to the parking lot to his car, leaving Fai looking stunned and slightly hurt.
Of course, once Kurogane got home that night, he started to feel a bit guilty about what he had said to Fai. Even though he refused to admit, even to himself, that he had any special feelings for him, Kurogane found himself half wishing he could take back his words. At the same time, however, he stood by what he had said; he didn't know what Fai was trying to hide with those lies, but the blond would have to give up the cover-up act if he wanted anything to do with Kurogane. Now if only he could have been just a little bit more eloquent about saying that…
The dark-haired man picked up a magazine and tried to distract himself by reading it but it was no good; he kept thinking about that hurt look in Fai's eyes when he had rejected him. Why should he feel bad about it, though? Fai was being rude to him by lying about why he'd asked Kurogane to spend time with him. He shouldn't be so surprised when people didn't treat him nicely after that. But still, Kurogane couldn't help thinking that he was at fault…
Fai jumped slightly when someone knocked loudly on the door of his apartment. The blond hesitated, not really sure that he wanted to answer it. After Kurogane had rejected him with such hatred in his eyes just half an hour ago, Fai had slipped into a bit of a depression. He wasn't quite ready to face a visitor with his usual cheerful smile and carefree attitude just yet. His visitor knocked again rather insistently. When Fai still didn't answer, the visitor pounded on the door so hard that Fai was a little bit afraid that it would break down. He heaved a sigh, slipped his smile into place and went to get the door.
"Jeez… I'm really swallowing my freaking pride by coming here; the least you can do is answer the damn door without making me break it down!" Kurogane snapped.
Fai's smile slipped right off his face and was replaced with a look of shock.
"Kurosama? What are you doing here?"
"Quit looking so damned surprised," his co-worker grumbled, trying desperately not to blush. "You're the one who wanted me to come in the first place."
"Well, yes but… you turned me down," Fai reminded him. "I thought… I thought you hated me…"
Kurogane folded his arms. "Look, I never said I hated you, alright? I just don't appreciate people telling me lies. But I guess… I guess maybe I was kind of harsh so…"
Fai was staring at him with those wide blue eyes of his and Kurogane's attempts to fight off his blush failed miserably. "…Sorry…" His apology was mumbled so quietly that Fai hardly heard it, but it still made him smile all the same.
"So are you going to let me in, or what?" Kurogane huffed.
Fai grinned and threw his arms around Kurogane's shoulders. "Of course! Come on in!"
Even though the blond said this, he didn't move but stayed firmly planted, hugging Kurogane gratefully. Eventually, Kurogane got impatient and just swept Fai off his feet so that he could carry him inside. Once the taller man had dropped him on the couch, Fai smiled up at him again.
"Are you hungry, Kuropyon? I feel like ordering pizza."
"Fine," Kurogane agreed. "But, hey, just so you know, I stand by what I said before… One more lie, and I'm outta here."
"If you say so, Kurorin!" Fai sang as he skipped off to get the phone.
They had ended up watching a stupid, sappy romance movie from Fai's personal collection. Why was Kurogane not surprised? He thought that there might have been some hope for that evening if they had only watched a decent movie. Kurogane sighed heavily and picked up a slice of pizza. At least Fai wasn't cuddling up to him like a clingy moron.
No sooner had that thought crossed his mind then the blond slipped his arms around his co-worker's torso and nuzzled against him as he nibbled his slice of pizza. Kurogane was not pleased. Here he was watching his least favorite type of movie with one of his least favorite people when he could be doing something more constructive like eating sand. So why was his heart suddenly beating so fast? Kurogane put it down to frustration and did his best to push the thought from his mind.
When the dark-haired man ran out of pizza to distract him from the agony that was watching the romance movie, he looked around the room for something else to amuse himself with. It was then that he noticed that at some point during the movie, he had draped his arm around Fai's shoulders. What the hell?! When had that happened?! Just as Kurogane was about to let the full horror and mortification of what he was doing crash over him, Fai made a little noise and shifted slightly.
Kurogane's eyebrows knitted together in a frown as he leaned forward slightly to get a look at the blond's face. Fai was sound asleep, lips parted invitingly, a peaceful expression on his face, snuggling his cheek against Kurogane's warm body. Kurogane froze, feeling his own cheeks growing hot, wondering how in the world he was supposed to escape from this situation. If he woke him up, Fai would probably whine and say that Kurogane was mean or try to make him stay overnight. Like hell he was going to stay overnight with this lunatic!
"Mm… Kurochan…" Fai mumbled, hugging him a little tighter.
Kurogane blushed when he heard the blond say his name in his sleep. Was Fai really dreaming about him? Or could this be another one of his stupid jokes? He waited to see if his co-worker would say anything else but he was silent. Kurogane sighed and ran a hand backwards through his hair. He decided that the best thing to do would be to put Fai to bed and try to sneak out of the house without waking him. Trying desperately not to think about what he was doing, Kurogane held Fai close with one arm and slid the other one under his butt to support him as he picked him up.
The smaller man nuzzled his face into the crook of Kurogane's neck, making his co-worker's face turn scarlet when his lips rested softly against his skin. Kurogane swallowed hard and began to slowly make his way towards Fai's room. He slowly lowered his delicate armload onto the bed and pulled the blankets up to Fai's shoulders. Kurogane told himself to just turn around and leave but a pair of slender arms was still looped around his neck, preventing him from moving.
He tried to remove them carefully but his hands were shaking. What the hell was up with that? He'd probably had too much soda was experiencing a sugar rush or something. Kurogane never consumed sweet things when he could help it, but Fai had insisted. That had to be it. Kurogane certainly wasn't nervous for any reason. Why should he be? He took a deep breath to try and steady himself. That was when Fai's eyes opened slowly. All Kurogane had time to think was "Oh, shit" before Fai made his move. He pulled him a little bit closer so that he could kiss his lips. Kurogane was too stunned to react; his mind was blank. Eventually, Fai let go of him and pulled away, smiling sweetly up at him. Kurogane jerked back, his face blazing with embarrassment.
"Wh-what the hell did you do that for?!" he sputtered.
Fai's smile faded somewhat and he bowed his head for a moment, his lush bangs obscuring his eyes from view. "I…"
He was silent for a moment, then he looked back up at his co-worker, his grin firmly back in place. Fai shrugged. "I thought it would be funny to see Kuropyon's reaction!"
Kurogane's mortification diminished somewhat to allow room for anger. He snatched up the pillow that Fai wasn't using and tossed it as hard as he could at the blond's face.
"Ouch! Kurorinta…!"
"Don't you dare call me those fucking cutesy names, you lying bastard!" Kurogane snapped. "I should kill you for pulling stupid shit like that and trying to play it off as a joke!"
Without another word, he whipped around and stormed out of the room. Fai watched him go in stunned silence and winced when he heard the front door slam. Then he sighed heavily and hung his head. In reality, he hadn't kissed Kurogane as a joke; he'd done it because… But when Kurogane had looked at him in horror afterwards like that, Fai had panicked and tried to cover his tracks with a lie. Apparently that hadn't been a good idea. Fai flopped back on his pillow and put his hands over his face. He'd really screwed things up this time.
Fai was avoiding him now at work and he hadn't received anymore prank phone calls since Kurogane had blown up at him. Not that he cared, of course. What kind of dumb ass kissed someone and then told them that they'd done it as a joke? Only a real moron would try something like that. Kurogane didn't have time for losers like that. What did he care if he and Fai never spoke again? Why did his heart feel so empty when he asked himself that?
He hated to admit it, but he was kind of wishing that something would happen that would allow him and Fai to make amends. It took a while, but finally the chance he had been waiting for presented itself; three weeks later, Kurogane's phone rang. By that time, he had basically given up any hope of the prankster ever calling again, so when he answered it he wasn't expecting to hear that voice on the other end of the line.
"Hello?"
"Ooh, I see you've learned some manners since the last time I called, hmm? I'm proud of you."
"I thought I told you not to bother me," Kurogane said sullenly.
"I know," Fai sighed. "But you're so much fun to tease, I just can't resist."
"Look, I'm not even going to waste my time with you unless you've decided to quit making shit up," the dark-haired man warned, though his face was turning red.
Fai was silent. "…Fair enough, I suppose," he admitted finally.
"Good," Kurogane growled, feeling satisfied with himself. "Then tell me why you keep on calling me."
"I guess… Well, you were right before; I guess it's because… I'm lonely," he said quietly.
"…Why don't you call those two women that you're always drinking with?" Kurogane suggested, glad for the distance between them so that the other man couldn't see him blushing. "You'd probably have a lot more fun talking to them anyway."
The caller was silent for another moment. "But I want to talk to you…"
Kurogane cleared his throat and tugged at his collar awkwardly. "What for? I don't even know you."
"Hmm… Well, if I had to give a reason… I… I like you," Fai answered a little shyly.
"Don't be an idiot; you don't know me, either. How can you like someone that you don't know?" he asked. Still, Kurogane blushed deeply. So Fai did like him, then? Or was this just the blond messing with him again?
"Oh, I know you better than you think," Fai said, and Kurogane could hear the grin in his voice. "You can learn quite a lot about a person just by watching them, you know."
"So you watch me a lot?" Kurogane asked, trying to sound disinterested. "That's freaking creepy, you know that?"
"Maybe," Fai admitted. "But you're just so cute; I can't help myself. Besides, if I tried to learn about you by asking questions, you'd probably just tell me that I was annoying and to go away and I wouldn't get anywhere. Am I right?"
He was right. "You're still annoying," Kurogane grumbled. "If you think that these stupid prank calls of yours are any less of a pain than someone asking me questions, then you're even dumber than I thought."
"But this isn't a prank call!" the blond insisted. "I'm not playing a prank!"
"You're just calling to piss me off!" Kurogane snapped. "Besides that, you still haven't even told me who you are! That's basically the same thing as a prank call!"
"Don't be silly," Fai chided playfully. "I already told you, I'm not calling just because I want to annoy you, although that's certainly part of it."
"I knew it, you bastard!"
"But like I said… I have no one else to talk to and I like you, so…"
Kurogane could tell by his tone that he was a little bit ashamed to have to make random calls to someone who didn't even seem to like him in order to get the human interaction he needed. To tell the truth, Kurogane might even have felt a little sorry for him.
"Who is this?" the taller man blurted. Kurogane was a bit surprised when that question suddenly burst from his lips. He hadn't even been planning to ask it. Still, it had been bothering him for quite a while and he wanted to hear Fai admit that it was him.
"I…" Fai broke off. "If I tell you, I'm afraid you won't want to talk to me anymore… and I… I don't want that to happen."
"You already promised to tell the truth," Kurogane reminded him sharply.
"I'm not really breaking that promise if I don't even answer the question, though, right?" Fai replied.
"Who are you?!" Kurogane demanded. There was silence, then a click and the dial tone. Kurogane heaved a sigh and dropped the phone back down on its cradle. He couldn't exactly explain why but the abrupt termination of the phone call left him feeling frustrated and disappointed.
The next day after work, Kurogane went to the local electronics store and bought a new phone; one with caller ID. It seemed somewhat unlikely that the prankster would be calling back after what had happened the previous night, but he justified his purchase by telling himself that having caller ID would make it easier to avoid telemarketers and other irritating people that he'd rather not have to talk to. The moment he got home, Kurogane replaced his old phone with the new one. He sat down in the chair next to it and, feeling somewhat tense, turned on the TV. Although he was sitting beside the phone and had the TV turned down so that he would be able to hear it ringing immediately, Kurogane definitely wasn't waiting for another one of those annoying calls.
It was another two weeks before Kurogane received another "prank" call. Even though it had been quite a long time since the last time he'd received one, it didn't stop Kurogane's heart from pounding every time his phone rang. This time was no different; it rang once and already Kurogane was rushing to glance at the caller ID. Though his heart had been pounding before, he thought he felt it stop when he read the name: "Fai D. Flourite". His hand shook slightly as he picked up the phone.
"Yeah?"
There was no reply, and for a moment Kurogane thought that there was no one on the other end of the line but then he caught just the faintest sound of someone breathing. Fai was definitely there; he just couldn't, or wouldn't, speak. After ten seconds or so of silence, Fai hung up. Kurogane snorted; if the blond thought he was letting him off the hook that easily, he had another thing coming.
Fai sighed and lowered his head into his hands. He hated himself; why did he have to be such a coward? Why didn't he just admit to Kurogane that all the flirting wasn't a joke and that he did it because he was in love with him? Fai didn't have to ask himself that question. He already knew the answer. It was because in the twenty-five years that he'd been alive, he'd never once had a successful relationship. Either he ended up falling for a total creep or the other person didn't feel the same way about him and got scared off when he confessed his feelings to them.
He didn't want that to happen with Kurogane. But it seemed that keeping his love a secret wasn't working either. Fai didn't know what to do but he wished he could just figure it out and quit causing himself so much grief. He was tired of being alone. Even though he knew he was wishing for the impossible, he couldn't help fantasizing that the other man would somehow piece together all of his cryptic bullshit and figure out why Fai was behaving like such a childish idiot. What he wouldn't give for Kurogane to come bursting through his front door…
Kurogane came bursting through his front door. Fai was so startled to see him that he let out a frightened little squeak and jumped to his feet. Kurogane was breathing heavily and the blond wasn't sure if it was because he had ran all the way to his house or if he was really that nervous or if his chest was just heaving with barely suppressed desire. Somehow Fai couldn't imagine any of those being the case, but Kurogane could be full of surprises sometimes.
The two of them stared at each other for a moment, neither really sure what to say or do and waiting for the other to make the first move. Finally, Kurogane got tired of waiting. He crossed the room in three huge strides. Fai clamped his eyes shut, sure that Kurogane was going to hit him. The blow never came; instead Kurogane swept him into his arms, hugging him tight as he began to kiss his neck.
"K-Kurosama…?" Fai stammered. "Why…?"
"You called, didn't you?" he growled between kisses.
"But… how did you know it was me…?" the blond asked weakly.
Kurogane snorted. "You mean besides the fact that I recognized your voice and you acted suspicious as hell every time I mentioned that I was getting annoying prank calls? Caller ID, moron."
Fai smiled sheepishly before Kurogane captured his lips with his own.
A/N: So how was it? I clubbed you to death with melodrama, didn't I? Damn it…
