Ratings: M
Warnings: N/A
Genre: Alt. Universe, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Holiday.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story: living (or passed) human beings or fictional characters. These events never happened, according to history or as the original author intended them. This is a work of fiction and is not intended to offend. For entertainment purposes only. Thanks.


Chapter 2:

The Saturday that Erwin had left was hard on Levi and the kids. Levi tried to keep things together for them, playing with Armin and Mikasa as Eren busied himself with his readings for class. The small boy was busy trying to amp up his performance ability to win the lead role in the upcoming class play, and Levi was grateful that he was so independent. They played on the living room floor on a large fluffy comforter, Levi being careful his kids didn't get too close to the hot glass of the gas fireplace. He made them sandwiches in the shapes of dinosaurs, stars, and flowers for lunch, then had them all take a nap until the afternoon.

He was able to keep them busy until dinner time, letting them watch some TV since it was the weekend and then allowing them to play in their small, fenced backyard while he cooked dinner. It was when they had all sat down to eat together that the awkward moment of telling them Erwin had left descended on them. The table was silent and tense, as if they had all expected bad news. Levi tried to read the emotions on his kids faces, but they were hard to understand. Mikasa was unusually quiet and Eren seemed angry about something that didn't seem to be from any disagreement that him and Mikasa just had. It wasn't until Armin had asked Levi once more where daddy was that Levi decided it was only fair to tell them the truth.

"Daddy and I had a disagreement." He began, putting down his glass of grape juice. "And we decided that it would be best if daddy stayed away from home for a little bit."

Mikasa finally let the silent tears she was holding back slide down her face and Armin began to cry.

"Why?" He shrieked, "Was it because of me?!" He asked, "Was it because of my party?!"

Levi scooped Armin out of his chair and sat him on his lap, beginning to bounce the small child on his knee. "No! No, baby, no. It wasn't because of you." He comforted him, kissing his temple, then turned to Mikasa, "Baby, darling girl, please don't cry."

"Is it because he's working so much?" Eren asked, surprisingly insightful about the whole situation.

"Yes, honey." Levi agreed, nodding at Eren and then looking around at all his kids. "It's because daddy's been working too much and it's meant he's been… distracted from his family."

"What's dis-twac-ted mean?" Armin asked, rubbing his left eye and leaning against Levi so he could turn and face his siblings.

"It means that daddy's been having a hard time paying attention to us as a family because he's always thinking about work." Levi explained, wiping at Armin's face with a napkin.

"Is daddy coming back soon?" Eren asked, copying Levi and handing Mikasa a napkin so she could wipe her face too.

"I don't know, yet, Eren." Levi replied, "We have to see how it goes and decide from there."

"Are you going to get dee-worst?" Armin asked, "Like Jean's parent's?"

Levi chuckled at his son's pronunciation. "No, we're not getting divorced, like Jean's parents." He replied, brushing back Armin's hair now. "We're just going to spend some time apart and see if it helps us both cool down. We've been getting angry with each other too much and that's not healthy. So daddy's going to spend some time out of the house so we have some time apart. But I want you all to know that this doesn't mean daddy doesn't love you as much as I do, or that it's any of your fault, okay? This is between me and daddy, not because of anything you did."

"So he's not mad at me because I had a birthday party?" Armin asked, his voice cracking with uncertainty.

"No, honey." Levi replied, "He's not mad you at all."


Erwin had packed his bags into the trunk of his car and left before his kids woke up. He spend the morning at the office, then took a break for lunch. He walked to the small deli a block from his workplace and bought a turkey club sandwich, then he sat at a small table outside and ate it while pondering his next actions. He wasn't sure if he should ask Mike if he could stay at his place while he was out of the house; he wasn't sure if he wanted to tell Mike that he was out of his own house at all. One of the reasons was because Mike would find out that he missed his son's birthday and, after fighting with Levi about it, he didn't want to hear from his best friend how he had failed at being a father. Another was because he didn't want Levi to be able to keep tabs on him or be tempted to ask Mike to keep tabs on Levi. Levi's answer of 'not yet' in regards to if there was someone else tormented him, and he realized that he was consumed with fear regarding the the thought that Levi had already emotionally moved on.

In the end, Erwin decided that he was going to get himself a hotel room for the time being and stay close to work. He would be able to walk there to save money on gas for his car, and he would force himself to leave the office when it wasn't too late at night to safely make it back. He could order room service for dinner and focus on his work and how he wanted to resolve things with his family.

To a degree, Erwin was angry with Levi for not being as understanding as he had hoped he would be. He had expressed how much this promotion meant to him, how much opportunity it would grant him and his family, and the reputation of his other colleagues that were also applying for this position. He had told Levi in March when he began to apply for the position that it was going to require him to make some sacrifices and that he would be working later. So why Levi was acting like such a nagging wife about it bothered Erwin. It was one birthday - his son would have many more - and he would be in a better position to be there for all of them. At the least, Levi could have been more understanding with him and offered him some support, rather than always paint him as the villain for putting his work ahead of his family.

He sighed as he loosened his tie from around his neck and sat down on the hotel bed. He looked at the time and realized that Levi was probably sitting with the kids around the table, talking about their day and sharing dinner together. He realized how long it had been since he had sat with them at the table, heard Eren's stories about his class and Mikasa's day in gymnastics. "She's in kindergarten now." He mumbled to himself, "Eren's in grade one." He lay back on the bed and closed his eyes, reflecting on himself. One day his kids would be graduated, going to college, and probably running into a handsome young man who would spill their coffee on them and then take them out for dinner.

He chuckled to himself as he recalled Levi's young expression. He was so shocked and apologetic, so in a rush to get to his life on track and find himself a steady, stable job. Erwin sat up and his eyes filled with tears. Levi was so consumed with work at that time in his life that he hadn't been aware of those around him. If he was any more concerned he could have walked right by Erwin, never given him the time of day to apologize, and therefore wouldn't have made any impression on the blonde at all. Their lives would have continued as differently as they could have been. Levi could have gone on to be a dentist with his own practice and Erwin would be… where? What would have happened to their three beloved children? Who would have adopted them?

Erwin's heart filled with despair. Their entire family would cease to exist only to be five different strings in the universe that may never interlace. And yet, Levi was the hand that had found them and knotted them all together. He had worked so resiliently to help them make a life for themselves, both as a couple and as a family. And all he had done was work his dream job to pay the bills and further his own career.

Still, Erwin was torn. He was so close to his own dreams and he wasn't ready to give up on them. It wasn't fair that because he was a father now that he had to close the door on the opportunities that came his way. He had wanted the promotion for years now, and having come this close, felt cheated if he were to give up now. He knew it was going to take sacrifices, but he knew in his heart how much Levi loved him - he wouldn't have cried this morning if he didn't anymore. If he could end this year by getting the promotion, he knew that he could win Levi back.


The November days began to pass one after the other. The week after Erwin had left, Eren was assigned his part in the play at school, having taken the leading role as Santa Claus, Mikasa had gotten a lead in the song that her kindergarten class was going to sing, and Armin had cried and had to be brought home early one day when his preschool teacher had asked him to bring something for their holiday themed show-and-tell. Levi's dental office had been busy filling cavities for many children that had overstuffed themselves with Halloween candy and rotten out their teeth. And everywhere they went, Christmas trees, red bows, and colourful garlands soon began to decorate every available space. The cold weather began to bring with it heavy rains and Levi had resorted to driving the short distance to his work place in order to drop and pick his kids from school. He had to bring out their warmer jackets and hats and gloves, check what clothes they had outgrown and would need to go shopping for, and tried his best pass on Eren's clothes onto his younger children. He was conscious of his paycheques paying for his gas and their food bill; aware that despite Erwin no longer residing with them, the blonde was still paying all the house bills to keep a roof over their heads and the heat turned on. He wouldn't be able to provide for them the way Erwin had, having to work less hours in order to take care of them.

Being surrounded by his three kids or his colleagues for constant company, Levi began to feel lonely. He had lost his closest friend, his soul-mate. There was a void that no amount of calling Furlan or Isabella could fill. Erwin was his home, his refuge; with him gone, he felt like a ship lost out at sea, bobbing on the endless waters searching for a safe place to lay anchor. But no such place existed. On Sunday, the eighth day of Erwin's absence, Levi sat beside the laundry machine after putting the kids to sleep, finally letting tears built up from stress, sorrow, and anger release to torment him. He had intended to wrap all of his kid's washed laundry for the week, when one - just one - of Erwin's socks had managed to find its way into the pile and was now laying in his lap, staring up at him with what he could only imagine to be panic. 'Why?' He felt it scream at him, 'Why did you send my pair away? How am I supposed to walk with only myself?'

"I don't know." Levi replied, his voice sticky with sobs. "I don't know how to walk myself right now."

Levi ended up taking to bed with him that night, laying it on top of Erwin's pillow and then curling his body around that pillow to inhale Erwin's scent. He missed him, more than he could even attempt to describe, and in a way Levi had begun to grieve him. It was almost as if he would rather choose to believe Erwin had passed away than accept that they were really separated, that they had agreed and accepted to being apart for so long already. He couldn't remember a time in their entire relationship where they had gone eight days without contacting each other, without seeing each other. It was definitely an all-time-low in their relationship.

Levi managed to keep himself composed enough for another week before he excused himself from work early one day, unable to keep himself in line. Word broke out throughout the office and by mid-afternoon his colleagues were all calling him to check on how he was doing. One of the dentists he assisted had offered to come over and bring him and the kids dinner, but Levi politely declined. He called over Furlan and Isabella for some much needed adult time and to update them on how the kids and himself were doing. Furlan suggested that Levi tried to call Erwin and arrange a play date for the kids, reminding him they were separating, not divorcing, and full custody did not go to him alone.

Erwin had moved into Mike's spare room by the time Levi had decided to call him regarding the kids. It was now the twelfth day that he had been separated from his family, an excruciating almost-fortnight of being apart from them. Mike had found out that Erwin had been staying at a hotel the fourth day, noticing that he had been walking to work rather than driving in, and having been speaking to Levi since he was aware Erwin had missed Armin's birthday party. He had followed him back to the hotel the fifth night, following him up to his room to attempt to knock some sense into him.

"You missed your son's fourth birthday, man." He told him, stressing the fact to Erwin.

"I know, I know! But the kid will have more-"

"That doesn't matter, man! He turned four and his dad wasn't there for him. Can you imagine how that feels, man?! He's four!"

Erwin had sighed and sat down, having been pacing the room as Mike sat on the bed, defending what Erwin viewed as Levi's 'overreaction.'

"Look, man," Mike had told him, "Come on back to my place with me. Stay a few nights, sort yourself out. Take this time apart to fix yourselves. Then try and fix your relationship. Don't let your kids get caught in the middle of an adult problem."

Now Erwin had been here for a little over a week, still not sure how he was supposed to sort himself out. He had taken to working at the small desk in the corner of the guest room that Mike had given him to stay in, making it part-bedroom, part-office. He had only gone to shower when it was approaching what would have been his usual bedtime, exhausted from working late hours the week before; Mike had been keeping him company but always turned their late-night work hours into discussion about his family, leaving him stressed and unable to fall asleep whenever he actually got to bed. When he stepped out of the shower, Levi's name and photo had lit up his phone screen. He pounced, answering immediately as soon as he had a foot out of the tub.

"Levi,"'he gasped, hoping to hear his husband tell him he could come back home now.

Levi clearly frowned, hugging a breath. It was obvious he anticipated Erwin would answer on the last ring, or that he had called back. "Working again?" He asked, his voice flat. Despite missing Erwin he was immediately annoyed by how hard it was to reach him.

"Well," Erwin began, beginning to contemplate if he should tell Levi he had been in the shower, but just as much as he missed his husband and kids, his own defence flared up and he snidely replied, "Yeah, promotions don't earn themself."

"Yeah," Levi replied, "Right. Well, I'm calling to ask if you'd be able to spend some time with the kids this weekend? Or are you planning to work straight through?"

Erwin held his breath; it wasn't a clearance to come back home, but it was an invitation to be with his family once again. "Yeah," he replied, "Yeah, I'd like to come back home and hang out with you guys for a bit."

"Not me." Levi clarified, making it obvious he had no intention to forgive Erwin just yet. He struggled with the words and Erwin wasn't quite sure if he missed him or if he was simply still angry. "Just the kids. You could take them out for a bit, maybe?"

"Oh," Erwin replied, "Yeah." He stated. He was excited to see his kids but he was also upset that he wouldn't get to spend time with his husband. Levi's stubborn streak the only flaw Erwin had trouble accepting, even after all this time. He sometimes wanted to grab the smaller man and shake him, attempting to physically make him realize how annoying and stupid his stubbornness made him, but he never did - he could never hurt him. "Yeah, I can take them for lunch and maybe the zoo or something? Anything they would like to do."

"Sounds good." Levi replied, "When do you wanna come get them?"

"Does Saturday at eleven work?"

"Have them home by six?"

"You want them home for dinner?"

"Do you plan on actually feeding them twice?" Levi asked, his emphasis on the fact that Erwin would be sitting with them as they ate even once was clearly a sarcastic remark. "I don't think they've seen you eat in months, Erwin." He reminded him.

"Isn't that more of a reason for me to have dinner with them then?" Erwin asked, his defence flaring up again.

"So you have no problem eating dinner with the kids, it's only when I'm around that you're working late?"

Erwin fell silent. He hadn't expected Levi to read into his words. And now that he had, he was unsure of how to backtrack their conversation in a way that would allow Levi to believe he was telling the truth when he stated he still loved Levi.

"Is this even about the promotion, Erwin?" Levi asked. His voice wavered as he spoke his husband's name, betraying his true emotional distress to the blonde.

"Levi-" Erwin began, immediately feeling bad for how Levi felt. He wanted to clarify himself, explain to Levi that he still loved him wholeheartedly.

"See you Saturday." Levi stated, cutting Erwin off. He hung up without another word.

Erwin took the phone from his ear to gaze at the blank screen in shock. Levi have never once hung up on him in nine years. He must've been extremely upset. Erwin moved into the bedroom and sat down on his bed, unsure of what to do. He debated calling Levi back, but assumed that since he hung up, the smaller man probably wanted his space. He decided that he would put in an hour's worth of work to distract himself from his family situation, since he wasn't sure how to best handle it, then he would go to sleep. If he didn't feel better about the situation in the morning, he would ask Mike for advice; whatever he was doing now didn't appear to be working.


Saturday was cold but bright, the sun hid behind grey clouds for most of the morning, only peeking out occasionally as the clouds rolled by. Levi has woken the kids at nine and got them cleaned, dressed, and fed before eleven to prepare them for Erwin to come pick them up. He had spoke to Furlan over the phone the night before, seeking support from his friend to make sure he was able to Erwin's first visit as the kid's father and not as his husband. True they were still married, but Levi wasn't sure what the boundaries were now that Erwin was temporarily moved out; if things were working out better for both of them, then this arrangement might last for longer than either of them originally anticipated. Levi now ran over the dialogue Furlan had prepared him with in his head, repeating his mantra of 'I am strong, I am independent, I am doing this for the sake of my family' over and over. He didn't want to see Erwin after two weeks and run straight into his arms, begging him to come home just because he missed him. He couldn't allow himself to overlook the neglect that the blonde had for them since spring just because he missed him like crazy after two weeks apart.

Making sure Armin has his comfort blanket and Eren had his backpack with some snacks and toys for them, Levi sat them on the couch to watch TV while they all waited for Erwin to arrive. He half-expected Erwin to call and cancel last minute, providing some cheap work-related excuse, but at exactly five to eleven Erwin pulled into the driveway.

Levi headed to the door and opened it before Erwin could knock, and Levi caught him - front door key in hand - hesitating on the door step if he should just let himself into their home or knock politely as if he were an invited guest.

"Right on time," Levi greeted him, before bitterly adding, "For once."

Erwin's eyes flashed with anger; Levi's stubborn attitude and passive-aggressive comments were really beginning to annoy him. "In all our nine years, I was never late." He reminded him, "But you suddenly started to hang up on me." He retorted, "So maybe I should be tardy for a change as well?"

Levi glared. His left cheek twitched with anger and Erwin knew from experience Levi would have nothing to say back to him - for now.

"Can I enter my own house now?" Erwin asked, having to resist rolling his eyes.

"No," Levi replied. "The deal is you take them out. Not you come in. We're not ready for that yet."

"'We're?'" Erwin repeated, "Do you mean you and the kids, or just you're not ready for that?" He pushed, "Because I don't think it's fair if you're manipulating the kids because of your own feelings, Levi."

Levi's eyes flashed with a look of anger that Erwin had never seen directed at himself before. Levi stepped onto the front step, closing the front door behind himself, and Erwin immediately knew he was in trouble since Levi was protecting their kids from hearing him.

"Listen here, Erwin." Levi stated, looking up at the blonde with a coldness in his eyes that made even ice seem warm, "I'm not manipulating the kids. And I never would. Let me remind you that it was my idea for you to come and see them today - you were out for two weeks now and didn't even call to ask how they're doing! So don't you dare accuse me of manipulating our children, because I was the one taking care of them this entire time - myself. You might pay for a roof over our heads, but that's not being a parent."

Erwin frowned. Levi has the advantage this time, he couldn't say anything but agree with him. He nodded sheepishly, feeling suddenly foolish for arguing with Levi. Instead of showing him how their time apart had made him realize he had ignored Levi and how much he missed him, he had gone ahead and destroyed what little hope of reconciliation they might have had.

"I'm sorry. You're right." Erwin replied, staring at Levi's small feet in his powder-blue house slippers. He recalled how every year he had bought him a pair of slippers for Christmas, how him and the kids laughed about Levi's small shoe size and the difficulties they would face finding him slippers in a size that would fit him without a childish design. "You're right, money isn't parenting. And I- I shouldn't have accused you of manipulating the kids. I'm just, I'm just so stressed out and I- I didn't mean it. Look, can we start again? It's five after eleven, I'm five minutes late, I'm so sorry. Can I pick up the kids and take them to the zoo now?"

Levi frowned. It wasn't like Erwin to suddenly admit defeat and simply try again, but at the same time it was understandable that he was just change tactics so suddenly if he knew he had crossed a line - which he had, big time. "Fine," Levi snapped, clearly playing along for Erwin's sake. "But I'm letting it go because of the kids." He explained, "They looked forwards to today since yesterday when I told them about it, so I'm not going to stand in the way of their happiness. But this doesn't change anything between us."

As he turned back to open the front door and call out to their kids, Erwin smiled at him, observing his short, lithe body for the first time in front of him in days. Levi always resembled a little cup of coffee to him, ever since their first meeting on the train. Today, the resemblance was amusing and a little painful, reminding Erwin of how far they had come together, and how easily he could lose it all if he didn't keep himself in line. It was easy to take for granted the things - the people - that a person depends on when they're always there, and Erwin was no different from every other average person; he was overwhelmed, worn down, and easily distracted after a hard day's work, and that had begun to show after nine years with Levi. But that wasn't the case with Levi - even as Erwin noticed the few soft wrinkles that had begun to form alongside Levi's mouth and the outer corners of his eyes, he couldn't recall a moment where Levi has taken his family for granted or neglected them for his own personal success. He had even dropped his work hours from full to part time in order to make their small family work, a sacrifice that Erwin had never gotten around to fully outwardly thanking Levi for.

He opened his mouth to speak, intending to inform Levi of all the things on his mind, all the minor mistakes he had made or the insights he overlooked that had ultimately led them to this point in their relationship, when his three kids came to the door and began to hug him around the thighs and waist. He knelt down to give each of them a proper hug, then lifted Armin up and into his arm, rising with him so he could hold onto the small boy and have him lean against his broad chest. "Six o'clock?" He asked Levi, pausing and waiting for the smaller man to reply. He had lost all the courage he had summed up to tell Levi what he should as soon as he realized Levi had stepped back inside the house and was holding the front door with one hand, ready to close it as soon as their pleasantries had come to an end.

"If you don't mind." Levi replied coolly, then waved at their kids. "Have fun with daddy." He told them, "Look out for each other, be safe. I love you, kids." He met Erwin's eyes once more as Erwin turned back from walking the kids to his car to glance at him. "Six o'clock," he reminded Erwin sternly, "Don't be late."