Chapter: Two
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Rating: M – you have been warned.
Ship(s): N/B
Summary: He could have her forever. Have her smile, laugh and cry with him. He could have her walk down the aisle towards him, bear his children and wake up next to him each and every morning. But he won't. She won't let him.
–
Nevertheless this was reality. And Nate was standing in front of her, looking at her with those blue eyes she adored so much and all she wanted to do was give in because she knew. He wanted her. He wanted her.
Suddenly Nate's warm hands were on her shoulders and it was exactly then that Blair understood that she wanted him as well. She had wanted him for so long and it was the most terrifying feeling she had ever experienced in her entire life.
Blair reached up and ran her thumb over his jawline tenderly, gazing up at him at the same time. He leaned down slightly, gently placing his lips over hers. A surge of warmth engulfed them from head to toe, bringing Nate to a high he had only felt when he was with Blair. He moved his hands from her shoulders, holding her small face as he rolled his lips in sync with Blair's. And it felt more right than anything he had ever known.
A sinking feeling settled in Blair's stomach as an unknown pressure erupted in her chest, contracting her ribs with such force that her whole frame froze with surprise. With closed eyes, single fragments of her memories flew past her eyes. She realized something. She realized everything.
She was Blair Waldorf and he was Nate Archibald and it flabbergasted her as to how she had gotten along all this time without him.
Her tongue slid into Nate's mouth, where his tongue gladly mingled with hers. Blair ran her hand enticingly past his stomach through his jacket, feeling his abdominal muscles come to life under her touch. When he eventually took his mouth off hers and looked at her, Blair was momentarily afraid. If they stopped, then it was definitely over and she wasn't quite sure if she was ready for him to walk away. She caught her breath in her throat as she stared in a mesmerizing trance.
Gingerly, Nate began unzipping his coat as Blair watched with anticipation. When it finally came off it didn't take a moment's hesitation for her to throw herself back into his arms. Blair could not wait any longer than she already had to. She knew that making love wasn't meant to be rushed, but this wasn't anything close. This wasn't anywhere near a moment of clarity for her. She was realizing, after all this time that Nate wanted her. He wanted her again and, admittedly, she hadn't felt so alone in such a long time.
The minute Blair slipped her sweater off, Nate's lips were over hers again. This time moving more urgently. By then, he was only left in his shirt and trousers and the mere thought of a sweaty, panting Blair was enough to bring him over the edge.
She pushed him away with one hand, while the other made it's way around her back to unclasp her bra. Before Nate could catch a glimpse of her beautiful mounds, Blair flicked the black piece of lingerie at him, bounding up the steps. It was the boldest thing imaginable considering the situation they were in and during the entire run, he didn't stare at where her arms are crossed at her chest, instead Nate was engrossed in Blair's nervously blushing face. Soon he realized that she had set him on a wild goose chase.
Something too similar to what had been going on for the past eight years.
Nate thought for a moment, then ran up the staircase after her and pushed past the door to her bedroom. Almost immediately he felt her lips on his, dancing across his tongue with impatience. He hadn't even opened his eyes yet and he was more turned on than he had ever been.
Blair's shaking fingers found his shirt before they quickly started to undo the buttons. He took this time to notice how gorgeous she looked – her messy brown locks and her slightly smudged make up. Nate didn't realize she was finished undressing his shirt until he felt her desperately trying to push it off of him.
Their bare torsos met as their lips did; the feeling of his skin burned soothingly on her. All she wanted to do was kiss him, to feel and taste what she had longed to. So they kissed and kissed, their arms snaked around one another and Blair felt her knees giving away.
"Bed." Blair managed to mumble in between kisses while wrapping her arms around his neck. Nate's hands slid and reached down to unbutton her bottoms as she did the same for him. He fell out of his jeans and she stumbled out of her skirt and tights, consequently catapulting them onto her bed.
She moved to straddle him, feeling how hard he was for her. It bemused her, made her know how bad he wanted it. They were kissing again, and it just didn't seem to stop. After everything, Nate would think that he would have at least forgotten how great of a kisser Blair was, but he hadn't. He traced her jawline with his lips, listening as a sigh escaped from her while nipping the skin of her neck with his teeth. She reached in between them and touched him through his boxers, resulting in a low growl from the back of Nate's throat. Blair fought off a smirk, leaning down and kissing him again.
He flipped them over, his lips giving away a little as his kisses became less intense and more passionate and meaningful because it was never about the lust between them. His hand trickled over her stomach, brushing the soft underside of her breast, reaching up to cup her gently, the pad of his thumb wonderfully rough against her soft skin, resulting in a whimper escaping her swollen lips. Nate slid a hand along her thigh, sweeping over her frame gently as her body shivered at his touches. His lips slowly journeyed downward, quivering fingers sliding Blair's panties over her tennis toned legs. He manged to elicit another moan from her as his mouth caught her softly, his hot tongue massaging her slowly, lovingly. Her back arched towards him.
"Nate..." Blair's hands moved anxiously to his nether regions, reaching for his boxers, desperately pulling them down. "I want you. I want you, Nate Archibald."
And who was he to deny her? She was the dangerously, alluring siren and even if he could back away, he didn't want to. It wasn't her enchanting voice that enamored him, it was her heart and Nate couldn't break free.
Except something in the back of his mind barricaded him from pushing forward. It took every fiber of Nate's being to stop and analyze the situation since he knew he had to be responsible. For Blair's sake.
"Are you taking... are you on...?" whispered Nate, unable to finish, hoping Blair understood what he meant.
"Make love to me," was her answer and frankly, it wasn't half of the answer he was expecting. But Nate obliged because he wasn't sure he could handle not exploding when he had her underneath him.
Blair moaned in rapture as he slowly entered her, eyes never leaving hers, hot breath mingling. Pulling him down for a kiss, she rocked her hips towards Nate, wanting, needing for him to continue. He used one hand to hold her hip while using the other to support his weight as he sank into her soft, warm body. She whimpered aloud as rapturous pleasure began surging through her core. Pleasurable moans began filling her bedroom as the volume increased abruptly, the passion between the two climbed higher and higher. Blair's fingernails dug into his back and their bodies began rocking back and forth more forcefully. She gave a strangling cry as her eyes snapped shut, the heat and emotion threatened to overwhelm her.
Nate groaned, her name moving past his lips as he pulled her closer, resting his forehead against hers. His stare locked their eyes together as he finally began to show the love he felt for her. Her breathless, wanting pants urged him on. He continued to thrust inside of her, his pace quickening with every gasp and pant from Blair, filling up the emptiness of the past eight years he had lived. Nate discovered that nothing felt more right. All those girls he thought he had any sense of completion with, he knew it was his irresolute mind. No matter how many times he'd kissed them or touched them this way, none had taken a hold of him like Blair had. She'd left her signature engraved deeply on the surface his heart and no one else could possess it.
"I'm sorry for pushing you away," whispered Blair in between agonizing moans. She knew that it wasn't the time to be having a deep and meaningful conversation, but after so long, she realized that there never was.
Nate nodded, showing that he understood, leaning over to kiss her tired mouth.
Her insides began to burn in spasms and waves of pleasure started to ripple through her. Nate's breath hitched in his throat as she suddenly began screaming his name, burying her face into the crook of his neck, her hands clutching at his skin urgently. Soon enough, she tightened around him while letting out one final cry before diving into sweet release. Her body trembled from head to toe. He drove into her a few more times, sustaining her orgasm until he too was pushed over the edge.
Blair laid quietly underneath him, her arms still wrapped tightly around his broad shoulders, still reeling from the pleasure that ebbed from her. Immediately her eyes stung from the onslaught of tears that threatened to take over her exhausted body.
It was then, when Nate proceeded to roll off of her, that he looked down at her, the love unmistakable in his eyes as a questioning look drained his features. This was the happiest he had felt in a long time and seeing the disconnected look on Blair's face pained him. Nonetheless, Nate moved to her side and pulled the sweaty Blair into his arms, worried that if he didn't hold onto her close enough, she'd disappear.
"Are you okay?" he mumbled into her hair, placing soft kisses on her sleek forehead.
And as Nate lay under the covers, adjacent to the woman he loved so dearly close to him, he couldn't help by think about why he waited so long for all of this. Why had he let her walk away all those years ago? Why had he paraded around her helplessly when he could have just kissed her? Nate realized, it didn't matter they he and Blair didn't agree on some things. All that had mattered, all that had ever really mattered was that they were happy and they were in love. Two things that they had shared with each other before he ruined it.
The almost hidden streetlights in the cloudiness outside sent a dim ray of light into the room. From the corner of her eye Blair could see that snow was still violently falling outdoors. She shifted in Nate's arms, staring at him through the faded darkness, nodding her head, hoping a silent 'yes' would reach him.
But even then, Nate pondered about his relationship with her and how if he could, he would go back and fix how he cheated on her and how he let his hurt from the past prevent him from being with her. He wished he could tell her he still had the sweater she gave him (even though it was missing it's heart) and that he wasn't blind – the ruby ring – it was still on her finger from time to time. It was almost enough for Nate to crack a smile mainly because he was hoping. Hoping that Blair too thought about their past as much as he did.
Blair understood that because of what had happened, there was no way for her to go unnoticed by Nate any longer. However, she didn't understand why she couldn't be festive or pleased. The ache in her heart, it had everything to do with lying to this man who was thoughtful enough to presumably give her what she wanted for one night. Wanted. She wanted Nate because she couldn't have him; he was simply the one she couldn't have. Instantly, tears of shame and remorse invaded her as Blair let herself satiate Nate's slick skin. She felt him relax, periodically glance at her with a warm look she hadn't received in years. Blair knew that he was probably waiting for her to say something but she couldn't. She'd wait till morning, Blair decided, because it was typical of Nate.
He always gave her what she wanted and what she needed, too. But he didn't know the difference. And she hated him for it.
Before long, the comfort and warmth of being so close to Nate caused her to drift off into a gentle slumber.
Nate waited until he was absolutely certain Blair was asleep before he whispered, "I love you", because he couldn't bear to look at the desolation on her face if he didn't. Mostly in fear that she would try to get away from him again. But she didn't. No. Out of all the smarter, handsomer and more sophisticated boys Blair Waldorf could have been with, she picked him. She found him. And she wasn't running away. Instead, over eight years later, she was curled up against him and Nate didn't know of a time he was happier.
Blair Waldorf had no dreams that night.
–
They were discovered by Serena the next morning, limbs coiled under Blair's bed sheets. The curious blond had come to check up on her best friend after the previous night's convulsive snow storm, worried Blair would be panicking from the damaged telephone lines. Except she ended up finding more than she bargained for – and a not so panicky Blair.
Serena stood silently in Blair's bedroom, watching as the owner rustled in bed, untangling herself, yawning and sitting up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. The second the brunette caught sight of her, she grasped her sheets and pulled them against her chest protectively.
"Serena?" Her voice was light, the way it only was after a long night's rest. "What are you doing here?"
"Well I was here to see how you were holding up after the storm last night, but uhh... I guess someone beat me to the chase," answered Serena, her eyes wandering off the the sleeping man beside her best friend.
Blair followed her gaze, eyes landing on a slumbering Nate. God – he was so cute when he slept, with the way his mouth was slightly parted and his hair, an unkempt mess. His breathing shallow and it was evident that one of his arms had once been launched over her earlier.
Serena cleared her throat causing Blair to look back at her best friend after gazing at Nate a moment too long. Sometimes she wondered what went on in that gorgeous little head of his.
"I think this is yours," she said, holding out a black piece of lingerie towards her. A rosy, pink blush dispersed over her nose and cheeks as she quickly snatched the material out of her best friend's hand. Blair sighed, her eyes riveting back to Nate.
"Friends don't do this," she spoke the woman on the other side of the room, referring to him. It wasn't hard to infer what had happened.
"Well you guys have never been just friends,"
And those exact words were the ones that pinched Blair's soul because Serena was right. They had been friends – her and Nate, but that was years ago, when they were both too young to even know what a relationship was. And it meant, that during the past years they had been apart, Nate had had to have felt something for her.
Suddenly Blair felt so stupid. All those times when Nate complimented her, he didn't do it to be polite, he really meant them. She had mistaken his adoring smiles for something less than their value, and when he tried to make her laugh (and Nate had succeeded one too many times), he had done it so he could see her smile and know that he was the reason. And when Nate had kissed her cheeks, Blair never once thought of how much it probably killed him. How he probably wanted to kiss her somewhere more intimate because he wanted her. But she had been too stubborn, too proud and used to the comfort of having him around like a friend to have noticed.
"Yeah. I know," answered Blair, bringing her knees up to her chin, turning her head to stare at the white snow on the rooftops underneath the blank sky outside.
–
It was a month before Nate and Blair saw each other again. Nate wanted to think that it was because they had both been busy with their lives, but honestly, he knew that they were both waiting for the other to phone or show up at the others doorstep. And he, himself, hadn't done anything because he wanted to give Blair the time and the space she needed to think. One entire month, four weeks, since that amazing night of the storm and as unforgettable as it was, there were many complications that had to be resolved if anything could be started again.
It was a late February evening, the snow and cold was still hovered through New York when Blair showed up at his door, dressed in a thick coat, fur scarf and warm gloves. There was an inevitable look on her beautifully porcelain face and Nate swallowed, getting more nervous with every passing second he let her stand outside in the frigid weather.
Blair fidgeted with her coat buttons once Nate let her in. He noticed how the instant heat of his house had turned her nose bright red that he almost leaned over to kiss her, but he figured that by then he would know when to control himself.
"Blair?" his voice cut through her painfully as it reeled her back to reality, hitting her across the face.
She found her voice with difficulty. "I'm... I'm late. I'm really late."
Before Blair knew it, her eyes were wet with tears as she snapped her eyes closed and sunk them in. She made a point not to look at Nate, she didn't want him to know how upset she was. She wanted to be strong and not to burden him.
However, against her wishes, Blair's tears did not go unnoticed by him. He place a hand on her back and rubbed it lightly, worried, while his heart raced a mile a minute. Nate had known what she was going to say before the words even came out and perhaps he had known the minute he saw her standing at his doorstep. But after hearing Blair's suspicions from her mouth, it just made everything more concrete and impending.
And instead of feeling morbid or afflicted by the news of a would-be life growing inside of Blair – the woman Nate couldn't help thinking of constantly – he felt his heart swell with elation.
"Blair?" Nate repeated, softer and more tender that Blair couldn't avoid looking at him any longer.
When her eyes met his, she let go, crashing her head against his firm, solid chest because it was the only place she had ever really known. And for once, Blair let herself cry, allowing her heartfelt tears to stream down because it was alright. If her assumption was correct then she'd be putting everything on the line; both her career and her life would collapse. Nate's arm wrapped around her tightly, reassuringly and Blair realized that for the first time since she suspected the news, she felt so much better. She almost felt as if she were right where she belonged.
"Hey," he cooed, stroking her dark, long hair soothingly, "it's alright."
Nate kissed the top of her head and a wave of warmth exploded through her. He continued comforting her and Blair found herself feeling guilty for taking him granted and not coming to him sooner, rather than waiting for an opportunity, such as the one she could possibly be carrying with her.
"I... I-I don't know what... I don't know...," sniffed Blair, clinging onto him, her voice trailing off as she carried on her silent sobbing.
"I'll never leave you," said Nate, pressing her closer.
And he meant it, praying that his words would stick to her through thick and thin so she wouldn't have to be terrified because Blair Waldorf was not one to be so afraid. People both feared and admired her; they were harsh to her and she was harsh right back, demanding respect when she really had very little at all. Because while the rest of the world ran in fear of her, Nate knew that sometimes one had to believe in something they could not understand.
And Nate didn't understand. He couldn't possibly comprehend where the possibility of a child, his child, left things off with Blair.
But he knew. Knew that soon he didn't have to try to hide his definitive feelings from Blair anymore and he could stop leaving the lying up to her.
Perhaps then, Nate could stop dreaming of her loving him again.
