Saiyuki: Blooming Reassurance
~Chapter Four~
Sunrise came earlier than usual. Hakkai, still standing at the window, watched the sun continue rising into the sky. It was quiet. He'd gotten used to hearing Amerie's voice. She'd either be talking to Goku about what he wanted to eat, asking Sanzo what was in the paper, getting a beer for Gojyo, or humming a beautiful tune.
To be perfectly honest; Sanzo, Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai had gotten used to Amerie being around. Each of them missed her in their own way. Sanzo missed the quiet demeanor about her. Goku missed her cooking. Gojyo missed the jokes she'd tell. Hakkai missed everything. He missed her smile, her laugh, her beauty, her elegance, everything. They each have gotten used to having someone around. A person that didn't mind their little quirks.
"You're up early." Sanzo said, standing beside Hakkai with a sleepy tone to his voice.
"Yeah. I couldn't sleep." Hakkai replied, still looking out the window."
"How long have you been awake?"
"A few hours."
"Hakkai, what's going on inside your head?"
"I don't want to talk about it." He whispered as he walked away.
Sanzo watched Hakkai walk out of the room. It's been a whole day since Amerie left. Sanzo knew that this was taking a mental toll on Hakkai. They all could see it in the once human, now demon. His heart has been through a lot of pain and suffering. It's something that he'll never be able to get rid of. His dreams were already plagued by the suicide of Kanan and everything that happened that fateful night. And once he found someone to take that pain away, she up and left without an explanation.
Outside, Hakkai looked up at the blue sky. The white clouds moved gracefully across the sky. It was beautiful. It would be even more beautiful if Amerie was there standing beside him. He quietly sighed and continued standing there.
******
Amerie woke up later than she would have liked. She stood up and brushed the butt of her khaki pants off. She walked out of the cave and there stood a familiar person. She had waist length silver hair and violet eyes. She stood a bit taller than Amerie.
"What are you doing here, Hyakka?" Amerie asked.
"Lord Kougaiji sent me to find you. What the hell are you doing? Why aren't you with Sanzo and the others?"
"I made a decision. I'm not going to do what Lord Kougaiji had planned. I want out. I want to live a normal life."
"You can't. You are bound to Lord Kougaiji. Just like me, Yaone, and Dokugakuji."
"Don't you think I know that? I just don't want to do it. I can't." Amerie said, looking away.
"Don't tell me that you fell in love with one of them!" Hyakka exclaimed.
"What if I did, huh? What are you or Lord Kougaiji going to do? Kill me?! Well, then go ahead. I don't care. Not anymore."
"He didn't send me here to kill you. He sent me here to take you back to the castle. We were worried about you."
"I don't want to go back. I want to stay here." Amerie whispered.
"Listen, Lord Kougaiji ordered me to bring you back and I'm going to."
"But..."
"When we get to the castle, talk to Lord Kougaiji. You never know. He might let you go."
"Alright." Amerie reluctantly said. She really didn't want to go back.
Amerie looked up at the beautiful blue sky. She wanted to just run away from Hyakka. If she did, she knew that Hyakka would catch her and forcibly take her back to the castle. Her heart ached. She really wanted to go back to Hakkai. She wanted to be held by him once again. She knew that what Hyakka said was true. She was bound to Kougaiji. He was the one that saved her life that night two years ago. She owed him her life for that. Then, a shadow of dread covered her. (What if Hakkai finds out that I'm in Kougaiji's gang?) It scared her knowing that he could find out.
******
When Amerie and Hyakka arrived at the castle, Yaone and Dokugakuji were standing there waiting for them. They said their hellos and their worries. Amerie just smiled and the four of them walked further into the castle. They stopped a few feet shy of the room that Lord Kougaiji always stood in. The room with his mother encased in a stone pillar. Amerie looked at Dokugakuji. He only nodded. She took that as a sign to enter the room. Amerie slowly walked into the room and stood a few feet from Kougaiji.
"Welcome back." Kougaiji said.
"Lord Kougaiji." Amerie said, bowing slightly.
"Are you alright? You had us worried."
"Yes. I'm fine. I'm sorry to worry you." She whispered.
"That's alright. Something on your mind?" He asked, looking at her.
"Lord Kougaiji, sir. I need to speak to you about something." She said, looking at him.
"Go ahead."
"In the two weeks I spent with Sanzo, Hakkai, Goku, and Gojyo; my mind has thought of many different things. In that time, I have learned that my past really didn't matter. I know that I can never be human again. I'll forever be a demon, but I want to life freely. Not bound to anyone or anything. I just want to be free. Don't take that the wrong way, Lord Kougaiji. I'm eternally grateful that you saved my life that night, but I want to be free."
"Amerie. You have served me well. If this is what you truly want, then go. The decisions that you've made have been your own. Not mine, not anyone's. If you really want to be free, then go be free. I'm not mad at you for wanting this. It's your life."
"Thank you, Lord Kougaiji." She said, bowing. Tears came to her eyes. It was a great moment for her. She could leave and be with Hakkai. She could be free to do as she wanted.
