Author's note: Hey guys! What's up? So, I want to say that I officially have made an instagram for this fanfiction account! Go check it out and maybe follow me? I might bring it down if nobody is interested, but that's totally fine. I also have my insta in my profile. My handle: estetico_._
I would also like to say that I have officially cross-uploaded on AO3 or , so go check that out too. :)
I guess I should do a trigger warning about the content, cos its gonna get a bit deep with like death you know what I mean?
TRIGGER WARNING: If you are not comfortable reading about references to death or any of those slightly graphical images/descriptions (like blood or somebody snapping somebody's neck), don't read this! It nothing major, but I wanted to throw it out there.
That's all I have to say.
Enjoy.
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Tony Stark was exhausted. There was no other way to put it but say that he was done. James Buchanan Barnes or Bucky Barnes was no longer in coma and after multiple check-ups he was discharged from the Avengers Tower med-bay. Steve Rogers had been over the moon when his best friend was well and good again, celebrating by throwing a party. Who knew that Cap had a wild side? Tony didn't go though. And to be honest, he thought that El Captain was being inconsiderate. He hadn't seen the withered look that Tony had sent him or the nervousness that he was vividly feeling. It wasn't nostalgia, it was pure fear. Of course, Peter had helped with this and he had come so far, he didn't want to ruin that progress because of a stupid person.
Tony had tried, countless times, to convince himself that it wasn't Bucky who stabbed his father or strangled his mother, snapping her neck. He tried to convince himself, trying to forget the video that was played to him two years ago, he really did. It wasn't Bucky, it was Hydra's doing, not James'. But he couldn't bring himself to do that.
Tony Stark was a cold person, a person who never cried, so when Natasha Romanoff found him curled up on the couch in his room, alone, no Pepper (who was on a business trip), Rhodey (who doesn't live there) or Peter (Peter had gone to a sleepover at Ned's or so she had been told) near him, she was surprised. Natasha had known Tony for a long time, almost nine years and in those nine years, she had never seen that man cry. He had a façade of indifference, arrogance and ignorance stuck to his face, almost his whole life. And Natasha couldn't bring herself to walk away from that scene, even when he whimpered at her 'get lost'. (A/N: Preview finish.)
She mutely walked over to the bed, where he laid, placing a hand on his shoulder, comfortingly. She let him cry for the next five minutes… ten… fifteen… and she had had (A/N: Again with the double 'had's!) enough. Forcefully shifting him so that he faced towards her, she began her mini-rant that she felt was about to spew from her mouth.
"Tony, we all know that you've had a hard life, but we all have too. I know that it was hard for you when your parents died. I know that, from personal experience. But we have to move on. I know that you lost friends because of the Civil War –" but she was cut off before she could finish.
"Family," he stated firmly, "I lost my only family because of that dispute. If Steve would have listened, if he would have waited, we could have amended the Accords. If he thought about someone other than Bucky, for even one second, maybe all of it would have been prevented. I tried to reason, I tried to help them and I tried to get them to listen. What did he do? He ran off with Bucky, taking the rest of the team with him. Rhodey wouldn't have gotten hurt if he listened. He wouldn't be fricking paralysed! You want me to tell you why I'm like this and why I haven't gotten over Steve and Barnes being here? BUCKY KILLED MY PARENTS AND STEVE KNEW AND HE HID IT FROM ME!" he bellowed, while Natasha sat there, speechless and shocked. Steve hadn't told her this. Sighing, he looked down.
"If he had told me, sat me down and told me, explained it to me beforehand, I wouldn't have attacked Bucky. Maybe he wouldn't have had to fight me and maybe I wouldn't have almost died. What do you expect from me? I tried to reason, I tried to help, and this is what he gave me? I know it wasn't Bucky. But knowing and accepting are two different things Natasha. I believed for my whole life that my parents died because of a car accident. Do you know what it feels like to see your mother's neck being snapped, or your father being stabbed? Do you know what it feels like to see someone you love die? Do you know what it feels like? When your heart is being ripped out of your body and your head is filled with pure rage? Tell me Miss. Romanoff do you know what it feels like? Because I'm damn well sure you do!" (A/N: Okay so lemme explain. Basically, Natasha didn't know about the whole Howard Stark being killed kinda thing, let's just pretend she didn't see the video in The Winter Soldier, okay? )
She had jumped of the bed, scared of what he was going to do, moving towards the door, a defensive position adorning her rigid body. She looked back towards the door, towards the door knob before looking back at Tony. It was like looking at a broken toy. One that had been used and worn so much, that it was broken beyond repair. She breathed in a deep breath before flitting through the door, leaving a weeping Tony Stark in her wake.
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Natasha was quite perturbed after that incident and wanted – no she needed answers. She stepped out of the elevator, promptly ignoring FRIDAY'S greeting, before thundering into the common room to find, Steve, Bruce, Thor, Wanda, Bucky and Clint laughing collectively.
"Is it true, Steve?" she asked coldly, making her presence known.
"I'm sorry, what?" he asked, looking confused.
"What happened in Siberia, Steve?" she asked firmly. Steve glanced at Bucky, who looked pale, shaking his head profusely.
"Can we talk about this in a civilised manner once Bucky exits the room?" he asked gritting his teeth.
"Stop, j-just stop. Can you hear yourself? Can you stop thinking about James Buchanan Barnes for a minute and think about Tony! Don't you understand? You're here, celebrating, for your best friend who also happened to have murdered Maria and Howard Stark! Barnes killed Tony's parents and that man still has a heart big enough to let him live in his own home. Tony isn't mad because of Bucky, he knows that it was the Winter Soldier and not him but. He's mad at you because you knew and didn't tell him. You don't get it. There was a reason you weren't telling us something about Siberia. It was because you were wrong Captain America," she spat. Everyone's reactions showed shock, betrayal and anger. Bucky was clutching onto Steve's arm as if it were a lifeline, Clint seemed to have a hard time processing everything, Wanda seemed disappointed, Thor looked confused and shocked at the same time and Bruce exited the room, looking slightly green in the neck.
"I can't take back what I've done to Tony or anybody. I care about Bucky, he's my best friend and at one point, my only one. I thought I was sparing Tony when I didn't tell him, I realized, too little, too late, that I was trying to spare myself," he said softly, before grabbing Bucky and hauling him out of the room.
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There was no team dinner that night. Everyone was scattered, similar to the events of the Civil War, but this time, in their own home. And Natasha Romanoff let herself cry for the first time in what seemed like years, because she realized that she had made a family and that it was being torn of its hinges.
Natasha Romanoff learned that she could cry after all, and that human tendencies were human tendencies no matter what the Red Room did.
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A/N: How was it? So I didn't include Peter for this chapter, but I will for the next one. I felt I should focus on the Avengers as well as Peter, so it's going to be various 3rd person perspectives. If you have time, please review it, I appreciate any constructive criticism. Thanks xx.
