Sirius,
Sorry, I'm going to be a while. Sorry I haven't been in touch, things have been hectic. Rough moon, Moony misses his pack. He howled all night, one of the neighbours worked it out. Been chased out of town, house burnt down, need to relocate mum and find new carer for her before I come 'home'. Dumbledore knows, he's helping. Miss you all. James - keep my side of the bed warm.
Remus
Sirius examined the hastily scrawled note for the umpteenth time, a look of fury marring his features. The note was so unlike Remus' scroll-long letters, where every i and t were dotted or crossed meticulously, every sentence analysed thoroughly for grammatical errors.
Remus was in trouble, that much was clear. Sirius knew that the second he saw his owl fly down to the breakfast table minutes earlier on the frosty monday morning, carrying what looked like a napkin instead of the scroll he was expecting. Remus hadn't even written the note with his quill, instead relying on that funny muggle thing that he'd once shown Sirius.
Remus was not an animal, that could be chased out of his home without a second thought. Remus was his friend, the kindest and most patient person that Sirius had ever met, and a good person. Remus Lupin didn't deserve this.
"What's with the long face, Pads?" James asked over the breakfast table, frowning at his friend's furious features. James had known Sirius long enough to know when Sirius was about to blow, and knew that the magical catastrophe that would be unleashed shouldn't occur so near potential targets. "D'you want to go up to the dorms? You don't look too good."
"Read." Sirius growled in a feral tone, offering the note to his friend. James took it carefully from the outstretched hand, having to tug slightly due to Sirius' vice-like grip on the fragile napkin. "Looks like Remus will be a while." Sirius clipped, throwing his long legs over the bench and climbing to a stand. James followed his lead, a frown forming as his eyes skimmed the short letter. James steered Sirius out of the Great Hall and up to the dorms, both of them dropping onto their respective beds with more vigor than was needed. James watched Sirius expectantly, waiting for the inevitable fury that would no doubt emanate from the explosive Black.
He didn't have to wait long. James remained still in the middle of the debris as his tall friend released the pent up energy, every pore of his body emitting pure magic strong enough to smash the jugs that sat on each table and crack the ancient windows in their high dorm. James waited patiently for the Black child to sit back down, before he cast a simple cleaning spell to get rid of the mess. Sirius curled in on himself, head resting in his large hands for a moment before he looked at James.
"Who would do this, Prong? Its Remus, not some bloody monster that should be chased out of town. He doesn't deserve this, surely they can see that. He's lived there for 3 years, for Merlin's sake!" Sirius huffed, slamming his fist on the bedpost in the final throws of his anger.
"You know how it is, Sirius. When people don't understand, they fight. Protect your own, and whatnot. Lets face it, it took me and you a bit of time to come round to the idea of Remus being 'some bloody monster' one day a month."
"Dangerous." Sirius scoffed, pacing across the floor in the second year dorms. "We've been living with someone who could slice us into pieces. Who could hurt us. Hell, James, he could have KILLED us!"
James sat on his bed, dazed. The revelation that the innocent quiet boy that helped him in Herbology and was fantastic at planning a prank was... well, a monster, wasn't a revelation that he ever thought he would have. As mysterious as the ashy haired youngster was, James Potter had never expected Remus Lupin to be -
"Werewolf." James whispered disbelievingly, looking at the charts on the bed once more. "Surely we've made a mistake somewhere, maybe this is just coincidence? Maybe he's ill, and needs a potion that has to be mixed under the full moon."
"Yes!" Sirius yelled, walking over to glance at the papers on the bed "Or he could have temporal insanity with the coming of the full moon, that can happen apparently. Or maybe-"
"Or maybe he's a werewolf." Peter exclaimed exasperatedly from his place on the floor. The two taller boys looked down at the smaller child, who looked up at them from his cross legged position. "There's no point denying it. He disappears every full moon. He has more strength than all three of us combined, despite never doing weights. He's always sick. His eyes change between amber and gold depending on the time of the month. He's covered in scars. Come on, even his name screams "WEREWOLF". There's no point denying it. Werewolf. Werewolf. Werewolf." Peter stood up, sitting on the bed opposite James and Sirius. "So stop questioning what it is, and start questioning what we're going to do about it."
"It?" James replied, going over to the bed the 'beast' occupied 29 days of the month. James glanced out the window alongside the bed, eyes resting for a moment on the translucent orb that rested full in the sky. His gaze soon left the globe, instead resting on Remus' bedside table. On the photo of the four of them that rested there, taken in the summer of first year. "It is Remus. It is still Remus." He whispered, picking up the photo and looking at the werewolf's face. "Just because he isn't Remus for one day of the month doesn't mean he's any less Remus-y for the rest of the month. He didn't choose to be a werewolf, none of them do. And lets face it, if he wanted to kill us or make us werewolves, he has had enough opportunity already. Yet he hasn't. Surely that stands for something!"
"How do you know that it can't take him over on those other days of the month? You're assuming that Remus will be strong enough to fight it, but how do you know? How can I sleep at night, knowing that he's in the room, considering the best way to kill me?" Peter shuddered as James walked back to the bed, sitting down next to Sirius once more. The photo hung limply in his hands as he turned to face Peter.
"Its Remus, Pete. You're speaking as if he's not human." James muttered, placing the photo on the bed and leaning forward.
"He's not human." Peter retorted, rocking slightly on the bed. "He's my friend, and I have become fond of him, but you can't dodge the truth. He. Is. Not. Human."
"So? Hagrid's not pure human, but we've never treated him any differently because of it. He's not a beast. He's not a monster. He is Remus Lupin, nothing more, nothing less." James paused, thinking for a moment. "Do you think that is his real name? Remus. Lupin. Surely that's too coincidental."
"He probably had to change his name after he was bitten, to keep his identity secret. For all we know, he's changed his name a million times, maybe more. If he'd keep something like being a werewolf from us, how do you know he isn't hiding even more? We can't trust anything he says. Nothing. Because for all we know, he's been lying about everything, from his name to his age to his shoe size." Peter reasoned, getting progressively more hysteric. James huffed at the melodrama, turning to face Sirius, who had taken the photo.
"Well? What do you think, Sirius?" James asked quietly.
"Mother told me that werewolves were evil, heartless creatures that are not to be trusted." He mumbled, touching the photo lightly.
"I didn't ask what your mother thought. I asked what *you* thought, Sirius." James replied, grabbing his friend by the shoulders. "What do *you* think we should do about Remus and his furry little problem?" Sirius couldn't help but smile at James' analogy, glancing at the photo one final time.
"He's still Remus. I'm not going to treat him any differently for something he can't control. He's still one of my best friends. And its going to stay that way, whether you two agree with me or not." Sirius stated, tilting his chin in defiance. A smile broke out on James' face, as he leant forward to give Sirius a brotherly hug. As he broke away, Sirius glanced towards Peter on the other bed. "So? Are you with us, or against?" He asked, examining the chubby boy's features.
"If he tries to eat me, I'm blaming you two." Peter stated, before his lips upturned slightly. "But just so long as he doesn't start sniffing my butt, I suppose we can keep him." The three smiled at one another for a second, before James jumped up.
"So. We don't tell anyone, yes? Because while we three might be quite open minded fellows, the rest of the school would probably chase him with pitch forks if they knew."
"Agreed. So, now we wait." Sirius finished, as the three glanced out the window once more, gazing at the hollow moon.
"Doesn't mean I can't be angry." Sirius grumbled, as he tore his mind away from his memories. "He shouldn't have to run away so soon after the full moon, its not fair. He should be in bed, resting as me and you wait on him hand and foot."
"As *you* wait on him hand and foot, you mean. I'm not allowed within 20 foot of the poor boy after the moon, what with you molly-coddling him." James laughed, watching as Sirius' smiled lightly. "Now, come on. We need to get to lessons. Remus will be furious if we don't have a full set of notes to give him when he gets back." James smiled, looking down at the note crushed in his hand. Realising that he hadn't had the chance to do anything other than glance at it earlier, he re-read the hastily scribbled note, frowning at the mention of a 'carer'. "Pads?"
"Hmm?" The dark haired teen hummed, glancing at James briefly as he sat alongside him on the bed. "What's up?"
"Why does Remus' mother require a carer (*)?" James asked flatly, dragging a finger along the sentence in question as Sirius glanced over his shoulder.
"She went insane. There she was, a muggle, with a werewolf son and a husband hanging by his neck from a rope, and she lost it." Sirius remembered Remus saying, when he had asked the same question back in fourth year, after the two had consumed a few too many fire-whiskeys. "I was 7. I remember her dragging him into the garden. He didn't forgive himself for letting Greyback bite me. I don't forgive him for leaving her alone with me. I don't forgive him for not taking me out with him."
"She's a muggle. It is custom for them to have a carer." Sirius stated, not wishing to tell James about Remus' rare vulnerable moment. "We learnt about them in muggle studies, don't you remember?"
"Oh, oh yeah." James covered, squinting as if to remember. He straightened his glasses on his nose, sitting up a bit straighter. "Hey, do you reckon Lily has a carer then? Ooh, do you reckon they need a new one? I could be Lily's carer, I'd just follow her round all day-"
"Like you do now, yeah?" Sirius smiled, standing up to dust the lint off his robes.
"Well, yes, but if I was her carer she wouldn't be upset when I did it! How good would that be?" James smiled back, thinking about the possibilities. "I'll have to ask her about that next time I see her."
"Yes yes, you do that James." Sirius laughed, grabbing some quills and heading for the door. "Its transfiguration first, yeah?" He asked, smiling hauntingly as James nodded. "Good good, I do believe Minnie will have missed us over the weekend."
"Oh yes. How does she live without her least favourite student for 2 days a week?" James laughed as the pair walked out the door.
"With difficulty." Sirius replied, grabbing some old parchment so that he could reply to Remus' note.
Moonipops
That's completely awful! And here I was thinking you'd just been abducted by pigmy puffs or something equally as minimal, and you're in some real trouble. Is your mum ok? Hopefully you'll find somewhere pretty quickly, they're beginning to teach us NEWTs stuff for next year so we've been learning loads - not that you'll have any problem catching up, what with your love of the library!
Me and James are both worrying sick about you over here (Peter is probably worrying too, in between meals). We want you back in one piece, you hear? I think you need to get back here in time for that time of the month - it'll be easier if mr Moony is with the pack, not to mention Mme Pomfrey can do a better job of patching you up than you will have done on yourself. I swear to God, Rem, if you have Gangrene, I'm going back to that little village of yours and hurting every single person who chased you out. Knobs, the lot of them.
I know I'm going to sound like a soft sod, but I miss you, Rem. I miss our lovely deep drunken conversations, and your immense pranking skill, and your hands. I don't know why I miss your hands, but I do. Did you get everything out of the house OK? Don't worry if you didn't, because good old uncle Alf passed over the summer, and left all his cash to yours truly, so I will buy you a new guitar and whatnot (and don't even try to get all proud on me Remus Lupin. You need help, so take it you oaf. I don't need the money anyway, and am more than willing to get you a new guitar/book/quill/record collection/car. Ok, maybe not a car, since you're not old enough to drive, rendering it a bit pointless, but a motorbike. I could get you a flying one to match my baby. Or I could just buy you a helmet so you can ride on mine. You'd look good in the leathers.)
I've got a load of your records. Ok, well not a load, but some of the good ones, so at least if you did lose the ones at your house you haven't lost them all. And you're about the same height/size as me, so you can have any of my clothes if you want them.
Padsicle wants his moonikins back.
Pads xxx
Well, that was a bit more depressing! Ok, what did you all think? I'm hoping you guys liked it, even just a little bit. But, you know, there's only one way that you can tell me that *hint hint nudge nudge*
Thank you to my *amazing* 10 reviewers, who I love lots right now. Ellesra, .Girl, reviewgrl, MaterMotley, Marauder Black, LoverFaery, emuroo, Lady Annikaa, TeddyBear 8P, and BlackbeltBarbie. Helloo to all the people who added this story to their favourites/alerts. There's quite a few of you, and that makes me *almost* as happy as reviews make me. Also, if you're reading this, hi to whoever is visiting this story from Malaysia! I saw that someone had visited from there on the story traffic thing, and it made my week! Loves it. If someone visits this story from Latvia, I think a little bit of me will die and go to heaven. =)
The title is the name of a song by Emmy the Great. I happened to be listening to it when I published the story, which is how it ended up as the title. I may change it if I can find a more relevant title in the future.
(*) = Lostangel92 kindly pointed out to me that 'carer' isn't an internationally used term, so just to clear that up, a carer is a caregiver, ie someone who assists those with mental or physical impairments. I hope this helps if anyone is confused!
