AN: Okies, four more chapters (I think) until we're done! YAY! This chapter: Spock broods over His Chris and how she isn't really his. Envy makes him green… wait, isn't he already green sometimes? NM ANYWAY! I love you all for your support and I hope you will continue to support me. I've had an epiphany of my own recently. Sulu really does need a girl, and I think I have just the gal. So! Sulu gets his own spin off too! After McCoy's because McCoy is sexier (I mean come on… who doesn't love the cantankerous Doc?)

2258 – September 26th 2000 Hours

Chris had spent the last 18 days attempting to learn more about her new crewmates. Livie was a teasing, playful sort of woman, defiantly Jim's twin, who had a particularly wonderful professional side and the ability to seemingly NEVER get angry. But aside from that she knew nothing about the other blonde!

Laura, the newest engineer, was Irish, thought Scotty was a bloody genius, and had a thing for Whiskey, as (she claimed) all good Irish girls should. And the newest security officer, Blake Carelson, was a particularly sweet man, good to all those around him. She doubted he even had a mean bone in his body and as such she couldn't believe he worked security.

So, as she, Jim, Bones, and Spock played chess one evening she decided it was time to try an old favorite. "I think we need to get to know our new crewmates better." She said suddenly, making the three men look at her slightly startled. "I say we play a game of "I've Never" again. Breakdown some of those formalities and have some fun."

Jim grinned, his eyes shining. "Livie would love that. She's always on the lookout for new blackmail material on me."

Bones snorted. "It's not blackmail material if you'd freely admit it to half the crew, Jim." Chris heard him add under his breath, "Otherwise I'd be set for life…"

She just grinned. "Alrighty then, Jim call in the troops, say meet back in fifteen?"

"You are a wonderfully evil little woman Chrissy," Jim said, punching in his captain's code to do a group com for the rest of the usual crowd and the new members. "And I love it."

He began his little message as Chris headed to her rooms for her bottle of SoCo.

When she returned the group had gathered and was already seated in chairs pulled into a loose circle. The entire group had segregated the genders, men on one side, women on the other. She wondered what she missed…

"Oh my dearest Jimmy-boy," Livie said, grinning like a loon. "You might have Spock on your side," she taunted, "but there's also YOU on your side. And I bet good money that the girls here will take less drinks, over all, than the men."

Jim snorted, ignoring Bones' motion to shut up, to Chris' amusement. "That bet is on, Livie. But I'll do you one better. If I win all the guys on my team get a kiss from the girl of their choice on your team."

Chris laughed. No way the men would win. "You are so on," She teased, taking the seat between Livie and Lily, "Jimmy-boy."

Livie grinned a slow, beautifully teasing grin. "I'll even let you go first." She glanced around. "Right girls?" The group of women nodded, smiling.

Jim grinned and lifted his shot of Fire Whiskey. "I've never stolen the keys to my Step-dad's corvette and dared my twin to drive it off a cliff."

Livie made a face and took a sip of her glass of sweet smelling amber liquid. "Very funny, brother-dear. Just you wait."

"Hold it." Bones said, looking between the twins. "A Corvette? What year?"

Livie leaned back in her chair, grinning. "1966, fire engine red. In mint condition, original propulsion system and everything."

Bones looked horrified. "God in heaven, WHY?"

Livie's and Jim's eyes darkened simultaneously. Chris felt horror, pain, and fear from the girl beside her, strong enough to make her hands quiver; and hate, rage, and failure from Jim. It didn't take a genius to know what they would say…

"No reason." They growled in unison.

"Mah turn!" Scotty said boisterously, forcing the attention off the Kirk twins to Chris' relief. "Ah haff never kissed a man!"

Every girl, Jim, and Blake drank. Blake blushed and refused to meet everyone's eyes. Chris realized immediately why… Blake was gay. "I dared him to," Livie said quickly, smiling evilly, "in High School, in a misguided game of Truth or Dare. I needed proof my crush was gay and Blake is a super sweet friend." Chris knew from the ease Livie said it that it was either true, or she was a fantastic liar. Chris highly suspected the former, but she also knew the dark man was gay.

"I have never kissed a girl I didn't really like." Sulu said, his eyes flicking very slightly to the tall, fire-haired Laura. Jim, Bones, Scotty, and Galia all drank.

"You're supposed to be getting the girls to drink!" Jim complained.

Chekov didn't give Sulu a chance to respond. "I haff newer played streep pookehr."

Everyone besides Spock, Lily, and Laura drank. Bones chuckled. "Boy, we need to make that happen sometime for yeh. S' entertainin'." Bones toasted the group. "I have nevah wanted to be a Star Trek officer."

Everyone but Lily, Livie and Blake drank. Blake smiled slightly. "I'm only here because of Livie. Can't let my only good friend go get herself into trouble without me."

Livie blew a kiss at Blake. "And I'm here because of my twin." She didn't elaborate and Chris felt the sadness in her that told Chris that her reasoning wasn't the entirety of the story.

"So, I've never…" said Blake, saving the awkward looking Lily. "…I've never made love to a girl." Chris noticed the wording but it seemed the men, aside from Spock, didn't. Spock shot Chris a questioning look and she nodded slightly.

Galia, Jim, Scotty, Sulu, Jim, and Bones all drank.

Spock lifted his beer and wracked his mind. What could he say… what could he say… "I have never…" He locked his eyes with Chris'. "I have never caused a power conduit line to explode, risking my life." Chris glared very slightly at him but he had a feeling that she didn't really mind.

"Next time," Chris quipped lightly, "I'll let the Klingon's kill you."

Uhura laughed. "No you wouldn't. And I've never kissed a girl." Spock and all of his 'teammates' drank, as well as Galia. The Orion woman looked slightly flushed, as did Jim. If he had kept count correctly they had each drank five shots thus far.

The Orion help up her glass for a moment, her head tipped to the side as she thought. "I've never slept with a Klingon." She finally said. No one drank, not even Jim.

The red-headed human woman, Laura Kelly, smiled very slightly. "Though I am an Engineer I have never had sex in the Engine room."

Scotty glared at his newest team member. "Ahm gonna get ye, lassy." Around him the group chuckled.

The little girl who was Chekov's romantic partner smiled. "I've never received head before."

Chris burst out laughing opposite him, slapping the girl's leg. "Good one girl." Spock looked around as all the men on his team, aside from Chekov and himself, drank.

Jim scowled. "You can't have received head, you don't have a dick!" He complained, pouting.

Spock watched as Jim's twin grinned. "So true, which is why Lily is a genius."

Chris smiled at Spock, her eyes firm. "I've never lost my temper and brutally beaten my First Officer." Spock lifted his mug and took a drink. Were it anyone else he would have been offended, and it might have bothered him that she would say it at all, except that her fingers were idly stroking the pendant he had given her, which he had not seen her without since he'd given it to her.

Livie, Jim's twin, gave the captain a particular smile. "I've never actually driven a car off a cliff." She teased.

Chris smiled as the third round came to a close with Livie's final turn. The slightly shorter blonde smiled at her twin, continuing their unspoken game. "I've never been involved in a Vulcan Mind Meld."

Chris felt herself go cold. She lifted her glass to her lips, enjoying the slightly vanilla aroma of her SoCo before she took a sip. It didn't burn persay but it made her throat feel almost… hyper dry. She felt Spock's eyes on her, in fact she felt EVERYONE'S eyes on her, but Spock's burned far more than the others'.

Livie saved her once more. "HA!" She said, pointing at her twin. "We've had a total of 38 drinks between us, you men have had 71!" She winked. "We win."

Jim groaned. "Dang it." He tipped his head back and sighed. "Whadya want Livie?"

Chris missed the emotions Livie was feeling because she was too focused on Spock's. He was hurt, upset, and angry. "We'll let you know."

And so the group dispersed; for the most part the women walked each other back to their rooms (Galia with Uhura, Lily and Laura) but she wasn't surprised to notice Livie join Bones and Jim, following them discreetly.

She had been nervous of Spock following her, unsure of what to tell him or how to make him less angry, however Blake had rounded on her friend and was asking him something. Chris took the moment to escape to her rooms. In the end she wasn't quite sure if she was pleased or a little hurt that Spock didn't knock on her door that night…

2258 – September 27th 0630 Hours

Chris walked into the mess hoping that maybe, just maybe, Spock stopped being angry at her. She'd thought through the night and couldn't completely understand why he was so angry. She hadn't told him about the mind meld… but it was a private sort of thing… so by Vulcan standards he wouldn't expect for her to have told him…

To her chagrin he didn't look up at her when she entered. Or when she sat at their usual table, between a haggard looking Jim and an overly awake Livie.

"Morning." Livie said happily. "Last night was fun, it was a fantastic idea Chris."

Her warm, friendly, open emotions hit Chris like a tidal wave, boosting her mood a bit. Chris found a smile in return. "Thanks, but you made it entertaining." She flicked her eyes to Jim, who was muttering curses. "You two sure got into trouble as kids." The conversation helped take her mind off Spock's anger but his silent presence and his very Vulcan expression mostly negated the effects. She had a feeling it was going to be a long, tense day.

2258 – September 27th 1700 Hours

Spock was not used to having no control of his emotions. Indeed that was very rarely a problem for him, however for the past seventeen hours, fifteen minutes and thirty-eight seconds he found himself a proverbial powder keg. His mind was a knot of red anger and black hurt that pulsed every time he looked at, or even thought of Chris. Which meant that for the last seventeen hours, sixteen minutes and forty seconds his emotions pulsed, flared, and boiled threatening his logic constantly.

So as soon as his shift was over Spock returned to his quarters to attempt to meditate. He dimmed the lights, light his incense and sank to the floor to clear his mind. He had not even regulated his breathing when his door hissed open. He did not bother to open his eyes, only two people could open his door and Jim's footfalls were far heavier than the ones that stopped directly beside him.

"I am attempting to meditate, Caris." He said tersely, only wanting her to leave him in peace so he might control the violent rage that threatened the safety of all those around him.

"You're angry with me." She accused, apparently ignoring him.

"Vulcans do not get angry." He said firmly, refusing to open his eyes.

"Don't give me that bullshit Spock," she snapped. He heard her sit beside him. "I'm an empath, you're angry, and it gets worse when you look at me. Thus you are angry with me."

As she placed her warm hand on his the buzz of her mind, surprisingly, soothed some of his anger. He could feel her worry, her hurt, and her confusion. He pulled his hand away from her. "I am attempting to meditate." He repeated. "I request you leave me to it."

"Fine," she snapped, standing and taking a step away from him. His anger was overshadowed by hurt as he heard he storm away. "You're being an ass. I don't even know what's wrong, and if I don't know I can't fix it." The door hissed and she was gone. His anger simmered and the hurt raged, it was so strong he nearly went after her. Somehow he found the strength to control his humanity and stay seated.

It was not Vulcan to be hurt that she did not tell him of her Mind Meld. It was a deeply private and intimate thing, of course she would not tell him. However… they were friends… She called him her 'best friend', and they were close. They had shared many private things…

He was angry too. Angry that she would not tell him. That he would have to discover such a thing during a drinking game. And he was angry at both her and the Vulcan who had melded with her, for it could only be one. His older self… And he was angry with himself because he was deeply jealous.

Jealous that someone else had been allowed into her mind, had full access to her secrets, her thoughts, her memories. No one should have that right, no one but him. Because she was his… But his older self called her T'hy'la, beloved… He doubted, now, that his older self considered Chris as only a life-friend, in another universe Chris had been his lover… And that too made him jealous.

He opened his eyes and glanced at the clock on the wall. 2350 Hours… Chris would be sleeping. It was impolite to awaken her, given the time. However he desired to speak to her. His emotions were not controlled, indeed they were worse than before. His limbs itched and tingled, giving him the odd desire to pace.

He stood and walked to his door before he realized what he had done. He clenched his hands into fists to prevent them from quivering. He should not be so very undone by such an unimportant event. For logically he knew it was completely unimportant in the larger scheme of things… but it felt very important to him.

Spock opened the door and strode down the hall to Chris' door. He knew the override code for her room as she knew the one for his, he did not need to risk waking her if she slept. He could simply open the door and check for himself… The thought made him feel almost… dirty. He turned to return to his room.

The door hissed open.

Chris knew she looked wretched. She had spent the entirety of the time since she had left Spock's quarters in a huff in the rec room, working her body to exhaustion. If her body was too tired to keep her eyes open, surely she would be able to fall asleep. She entered her quarters and glanced at the clock. 11:49 pm.

With a groan Chris stripped off her work out tank and her shorts, tossing them into her hamper. Her anger had finally subsided into hurt and sorrow and she was able to sense the emotions of those around her. One room over Sulu was having a nightmare, or watching a horror flick really, really quietly, on the other side Chekov was dreaming of something happy- knowing him it was either Lily or some tactical model, 50-50 chance either way. And directly outside her door Spock was hurt, jealous, angry, and nervous…

SPOCK?! She grabbed her robe and pulled it on as she snuck to the door to listen. His weight shifted and she heard him take a step away. She didn't know what she was doing but she pressed the open button for her door.

The source of her emotions turned and stared at her for a long moment before dropping his dark, coffee colored eyes to the floor. "I trust I did not wake you." He said in a particularly stiff, very Vulcan-controlled voice.

Chris leaned against her doorframe and eyed her tall friend. "No, I just got back in." She admitted, her lingering anger flickering out like a light. She wished she could be angry with him, his idiocy, his refusal to talk… But she couldn't. "Do you want something?"

"I wish to speak with you." He said simply. Chris hesitated for a moment, seriously considering closing the door but she wasn't angry with him, just hurt, and she knew, in her gut, that closing the door wouldn't make anything better… Hell, it wouldn't even make her feel better. She stepped back and into her room, letting him in. As he passed her he murmured, "Thank you."

Chris sunk onto one of her floor pillows, watching as Spock stood above her, looking stoic and unfeeling. "So speak, Spock, or go away." She growled after a few moments.

Spock sank, with his damned-able grace, onto the floor pillow opposite her. "You entered into a Vulcan Mind Meld with the Spock from the other universe." Spock said simply, clearly cutting to the chase.

Chris didn't see the point in lying. "Yes."

"You did not tell me."

"No."

"Why?" Finally, Chris thought, a question!

"Because the whole Klingon attack thing happened, then I fell into a coma, and then we went on Leave. I really didn't think about it much." She said tiredly, finally feeling her workout. "It wasn't like I planned it," she defended, catching the look in his too human eyes, "He offered but I was against it at first. But I kept going back for help controlling my mind.

"You know, so I could deliberately show you things when we touch. So you didn't get every silly little thought that crossed my mind." Chris knew she was sort of rambling but she needed him to understand… She just had to be sure she didn't mention what, exactly, she didn't want him to glean from her thoughts. "And I had to see if you might like the Christmas gift I had planned for you." SHIT!

But apparently that was the right thing to say, because Spock's beautiful eyes lightened slightly. "He did not force his mind on yours?" He asked but she could tell from his tone that he knew she would have told him if that was the truth.

"Goodness no." She said softly. "He… he convinced me."

Spock scowled a Vulcan scowl. "Did he tell you of what he could have done to you?" Chris shook her head. "He could have permanently altered your mind, Chris." Spock snapped, his hands curling almost tightly around her lower arms. "Without properly preparing what you endeavored to do put you in danger."

Chris saw the dark fire in his eyes and was, surprisingly, soothed by his anger. With a small smile she took his hand and lifted it to her face, settling his finger tips against her cheek and eyebrow. "I trusted him, and I trust you. But if it would make you feel better then YOU make sure I'm fine."

His face entirely shut down, a classic Vulcan trick to control emotions. Through their mildly connected minds, which she hadn't even felt when they merged it was so comfortable to her, she could feel his shock. "Chris… I am not… I have never attempted a Mild Meld before. I, very easily, could damage you."

"You will never hurt me Spock. And come on, you feel how easy this is." She said, tapping his hand that rested on her face still. "I trust you, Spock."

Spock very much wanted to take Chris up on her offer. It was a very human desire, one his Vulcan logic could control easily enough now his anger was, for the most part sated. He was not angry at Chris, he was angry at his older self. He was, however, worried for her. While her behavior had not changed, Chris could have been altered some how. And he would be able to see such a change…

"You are entirely sure this is what you want?" He asked, his fingers shifting to the correct Meld points.

He felt the rush of trust. "Yes."

"My mind to your mind," he began, "My thoughts to your thoughts."

Chris' mind was, as always, warm and welcome, alight with beautiful snarling, pulsating ribbons of colored emotions and memories. It blended with his mind, dark and collected, completely organized and compartmentalized. Unlike his mind she had no rooms, no doors, only open expanse.

Hey She whispered in their mind. You're mind's so different from his. He saw a picture, a flash of memory, of the older Spock's mind. Like his, totally organized but dark, with no emotions flaring just under his control. He hides his emotions in boxes. She explained. I like yours. He felt as if she looked him over. Pretty.

His emotions were a colored mass just under the logical portion of his mind. His control was like a glass floor, he could see and identify his emotions but they did not affect his logical mind, his memory, his decisions. It is not meant to be pretty. He answered. I am simply less controlled than he. But as I am younger it is expected.

Don't change. Chris pleaded. This… This is better, I think. You know what you feel, you're in touch with your emotions, but they don't own you.

Spock felt her exhaustion and remembered his purpose. He felt Chris snicker in their minds. This is new to me, Chris. He said, defending himself though he did not need to. Searching through her mind for a taint was simple. Vulcan minds were nothing like hers, he could safely presume, and, as he searched, he saw nothing but Chris.

I'm good then? She asked suddenly, as he strayed into the corner of her mind where he caught a translucent image of his mother's face. Because I'm tired.

She was, indeed, tired. However he could feel her sudden nervousness. What are you trying to hide Chris? He asked, annoyed and slightly hurt again.

He felt a rush of embarrassment from her. Spock… But he saw what she tried to distract him from. A dark 'box' for lack of a better description. Chris had no form or real organization, nor storage. The 'box' did not originate in her mind.

What is this? He asked. Open it.

Please, Chris begged. Please don't ask me to do this. He, oddly, felt her pulling him from that place in her mind. Trust me?

Chris felt the anger that her request ignited in Spock. And she saw it. The 'floor' of his mind flared with a violent red. He has altered you, and you knew.

Chris tried to control the hurt and anger his accusation flared in her. You're an ass, you know what? She snapped, dragging them both back to the memories of Amanda. You want to know what it is? She asked rethorically. Fine, ruin you're Christmas gift. She unlocked the 'box' and released the memories of Amanda that were not her own.

She saw herself and Amanda, both older, talking and leaning over the edge of a balcony. Amanda laughed at something she said.

Amanda tucking in a young Spock, telling him a story to appease herself, not because Spock desired one. But even as a child who wished very much to be Vulcan, he loved his mother and did find some comfort in her soft, low voice.

Amanda stood, tears in her eyes but not on her cheeks, as Spock graduated from the Vulcan Science Academy with the highest honors. He allowed himself the slightest thrill of emotion, joy, at the pride in her eyes.

There. Chris said, softly, the memories having taken away the hurt and left her with a painful longing. She missed Amanda… and so did Spock. He offered to give me all his memories of her, to give to you if you ever wanted them.

All of a sudden she was alone in her mind and toppling backward, as if she'd been pushed away. Chris hit her pillow and the floor with a huff and opened her eyes to stare at the ceiling of her quarters. She lifted herself onto her elbows and looked at Spock who was staring at her with his very blank, Vulcan shocked look. Gently he collected her and lifted her back to sitting position, his fingers brushed a strand of hair from her face.

"You under went a possibly dangerous Mind Meld with a man you did not wish to Meld with, to gain those memories for me?" He asked her gently, his voice and his expression giving away none of the emotion she knew he felt… gratitude, affection, awe, shock, and apology. She nodded. Spock stood and helped her to her own feet, his back ridgid as ever as he reverted to his Vulcan teachings in his shock. Slowly he lifted his hands to her shoulders and pulled her against his broad chest in a very… tentative hug. His back remained ridgid for a long moment, his body not giving in to hers.

"You okay?" She asked, unsure why he would initiate such very unVulcan contact when it clearly made him very uncomfortable.

He relaxed very slightly. "My intent is to…" he hesitated and leaned back slightly, looking into her face. "express gratitude. However a simple 'thank you' seemed… lacking, and a handshake would be…" He trailed off.

She snickered. "Highly inappropriate because it would be a kiss to you. I understand." She tightened her arms around him, hugging him properly. She yawned, leaning her head against his chest. If he didn't pull away from her then she wasn't about to end the contact. He was warm, firm, and strong and she most certainly enjoyed the feeling. "I'd say my pleasure, but it wasn't really a pleasure. Just not a real hardship."

His hand splayed across her back and the tension in his body left, his emotions settling from being ill at ease to comfort. His hand rubbed her back slowly, as if soothing her. "You require rest." He said slowly, pulling away from the hug a bit. "Sleep now and tomorrow we shall discuss a better date for me to remove the memories from your mind."

Chris laughed, forcing herself from the easy contentment of being in his arms… a thing she should not allow herself to like so much. "Oh no Spock, you can wait for the rest of them until Christmas." She put her hands on his chest and pushed him toward the door before he could 'debate' the issue with her; less because she cared about keeping the memories a little longer and more because if she stood there with him for much longer, enveloped in the heat of him and the wonderful smell of him she'd ruin everything by kissing him.

He stepped backward out the door and offered her a Vulcan smile. "Good Night, Chris." As the door hissed closed she thought she heard him say, "My Chris," but couldn't be sure.

AN: Yes, yes, I told many of you it would likely be about noon-ish server time and it's defiantly NOT, and I'm sorry. But hey, it's longer than usual AND sweet! Also I needed to be sure the end bit wasn't too human on Spock's part. It's such a hard line to walk dang it… I LOVE YOU Kay Bee! You are my hero! This sounds SO much better after your little pointers!