As it's been such a long time since I last updated, I begin this chapter with a reminder of all that has gone on throughout this story.
Chapter one: Kayla reading the Gift, introducing her and her boyfriend Nathan. Kayla and Maerad swapped places, Kayla going into Gilman's Cot and Maerad coming into our world (to hear what she's been getting up to, read Pernicia's wonderful fic here: fanfictionDOTnet/s/4871690/1/Lost_Beyond_Croggon).
Chapter two: She meets Cadvan and drags him straight out on their way.
Chapter three: She realises Cadvan was veerryy weak because he collapses.
Chapter four: She drags him out of the valley and he recovers. She sings the Treesong for him.
Chapter five: Cadvan scries Kayla and, to her surprise, finds her to be who she says she is. We find out that Kayla has asthma.
Chapter six: They fight the wers and win.
Chapter seven: They make their way through the cave/tunnel and arrive at Innail.
Chapter eight: Kayla tells Cadvan, Malgorn and Silvia about Pellinor and Enkir; tells Silvia about Nathan; hears about how Silvia and Malgorn got together. They go to the Welcoming Feast and Kayla meets Dernhil. She sings for everybody at the Feast and agrees to meet Dernhil the next day.
Chapter nine: She meets Dernhil for lunch and they both flirt like mad. Cadvan comes in to find them kissing and warns Kayla to be careful. She does sword craft with Indik and is quite good, but is bad at horseriding. Dernhil and Kayla nearly -ahem- you know, but Dernhil stops them and says he doesn't love her. Silvia finds her depressed and crying in her room. She gets her own back on Dernhil by leading him on and then shouting at him.
Chapter ten: They leave Innail and spend the night in an Inn where they pretend to be 'lovers'. They find out that Dernhil was questioned by hulls but is still alive.
Chapter eleven: They read the prophecy about The One. They fight a hull and some wers. Cadvan and Kayla have a 'moment'. (tis sweet :P)
And now, on with the story.
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That day, Cadvan's thoughts were mixed. Most of the time, his thoughts were rational as he thought of the road to Norloch, the inns they would stay at, where they would pick up food and how long it would take them. But sometimes Kayla would look right at him and he forgot their journey to Norloch, and started enjoying the ride for its own sake. He felt as though he could let go with Kayla, feeling comfortable in a way he rarely did with other people.
"Cadvan," Kayla said quietly, when they had stopped for lunch. Early that morning they had entered a small forest, and now sat in a small clearing. "I'm sorry about Ceredin."
Cadvan felt himself stiffen involuntarily. "How do you know about that?" he asked in a level voice. There was a calmness to his voice he did not feel; at her words, his stomach had tensed and a chill had overcome him.
"I just…know," she replied uncertainly.
"But you can't know that," he whispered, a trace of desperation leaking out into my voice.
"Why not?" she asked gently.
"Because I'm sick of having people hate me for what I did. I thought you might be one person, just one person, I could be normal with. One person who didn't think I should have died when I was young. One person who doesn't secretly hope I'd die now."
--
I actually forgot to breathe. The guilt and self-hatred this man had was incredible. "What about Silvia and Malgorn? What about Dernhil? They love you."
His face twisted into a bitter smile. "They loved Ceredin more than they could ever love me, Kayla. They still hate me for killing her, I can see it in their eyes sometimes."
For a brief moment I couldn't decide whether to kiss him or slap him. "You're wrong," I told him bluntly. "They all love you so much. The only person who hates you for it is yourself! It was an accident and it was years and years ago and if you don't start getting over it I'm gonna ride off and leave you here on your own."
He took hold of my hand. "Don't," he implored quietly.
"I'll only fall off anyway," I quipped with a grin.
Cadvan ran his thumb slowly along mine and I fought the urge to snog him. "Let's go," he said gently. "We shouldn't stay in one place for too long." His body language was quiet as he mounted Darsor.
"There's a bardhome to stay in tonight," Cadvan murmured. I looked at him carefully and came to the conclusion that he was actually trying not to isolate himself. That was surprising.
"That's good," I said.
"Yes," he replied.
"Wow, gripping conversation," I said sarcastically.
Cadvan smiled. "Highly entertaining," he agreed. "Back to the topic at hand," he added pointedly, "I think we will get there a little before dark, so we will be able to have a bit of a rest, though I do not like to tarry. There is even a stream there for us to wash in."
"Luxury itself," I muttered darkly. The thought of washing in a stream was not a good one, but when the alternative was to stay covered in muck - largely wer blood - I would take anything.
"Were you treated very badly in that place?" Cadvan asked suddenly.
"In the Cot?" I thought back to my old life. "Yes."
"If you ever want to talk about it…"
And so I told him - I told him everything, all about my life. The context was a little different, but the content was the same. The only other person I'd ever told everything to was what's-his-name - Nathan, that was it. I could barely remember him…perhaps I hadn't seen him in a long time - he was probably a counsellor or something.
I spoke for a long time. Cadvan asked me a few questions, and once rode Darsor close so that he could take my hand. Our conversation eventually wandered off into other topics, mainly because I pushed it in that direction. Cadvan was telling me how he had got the Speech as we came upon the Bardhome.
"Thank the Light for that, it's getting really cold," I said, before dumping my things on the ground and heading off to find the stream.
As I walked, I had to concentrate on not tripping over tree roots, so I followed my ears and the trickling of water. When at last I looked up, I saw a gorgeous clear stream, a few feet wide, which tumbled over several rocky weirs to curve past my feet and into a deep pool. It was beautiful and tranquil and made me ache to walk through it. I rolled my jeans up above my knees and waded in, the water trickling around my ankles.
"You'll get a chill going in there when it's this cold," came a voice.
I turned to see Cadvan and grinned. "Wimp."
"You have called me that once before," he replied with amusement, walking towards me. "And yet still you have not had the manners to explain the name you affix to me."
Was it strange to find his formal voice so sexy? "It means you're a coward," I explained. "Come on in, the water's lovely," I added, grinning.
He narrowed his eyes in challenge. "Easy," he said, and knelt down at the water's edge to splash some water on his face. "Just don't be too long," he added as he walked away, wiping the moisture from his face.
I stuck my tongue out at his back. "Hardly difficult," I murmured, before drying my feet and following him back to the Bardhome. I shivered as I walked; the sun was setting now, and it was getting much colder. As I entered the Bardhome, Cadvan was setting out some food. He looked up as I approached.
"We can make no fire, unfortunately," he told me as I picked up a travel biscuit. "Which is a sore pity because I think it will be very cold tonight."
"Huh, typical. We keeping a watch tonight?"
"No, we need keep no watch in a Bardhome. A full night's sleep awaits us!"
"I look forward to it."
"Why look forward when you can have the real thing?" he asked, laying down and pulling his blanket over himself.
I smiled and followed his lead, but I could not fall asleep. It was just too cold. It seeped into my skin and made me shiver as though I had bathed in ice. I lay in bone-numbing stillness until I couldn't take it any more.
"Cadvan," I hissed. "Are you awake?"
He sat up and rubbed his face. "I am now. What is it?"
"I'm freezing."
"I'm afraid there's nothing I can do, Kayla. We have no more blankets."
"No, but we'll be warmer if we sleep next to each other." He didn't say anything so I got up and lay down next to him, laying my blanket over us both.
"Kayla, what are you doing?"
"I told you, I'm freezing, and I'm not lying there freezing my bum off when I could be warm."
"But…"
"Calm down, you've got your blanket, I've got mine, it's not as though I'm telling you to do something difficult. All you've gotta do is lay there and go back to sleep."
He sighed. "Alright, Kayla."
"Alright. Now shut up and go to sleep."
--
I woke with a start when it was still dark to find our blankets covering us both and my head on Cadvan's chest.
"What is it?" he asked sleepily, evidently woken by me jumping.
"I had one of those dreams where you feel like you're falling," I explained.
"Go back to sleep," he said softly, touching my cheek and surprising me. I did as he said and by the time I awoke again he was up and ready, and waving travel biscuits under my nose.
"How are you this morning?" Cadvan asked.
I smiled. "Nice and warm now."
"Glad to hear it," he replied, mirroring my smile. "Here, you may have the rest of my biscuit. I find I do not want it, and the Light knows you could do with some weight on you."
"I'm not really hungry," I replied. "It's hardly appealing, anyway."
"Indeed it is not, but it is all we have so we shall have to make the best of it. And now, we must go," he added, standing up and brushing a few crumbs from his cloak. I stayed sitting down and watched him. It seemed a motion he had practised well, as though he had done it many times before. I looked at him really properly for the first time since I had arrived here; his hair just touching his neck and almost glittering in the early sun. His eyes were large, with shadows underneath them - though paler than the day before, they were still there. He looked slightly strange without the whiplash scar I had half-expected to see. His arms were muscled, his body wiry and tall.
"You stare at me, Kayla," Cadvan said gently.
I blinked and shook myself. "Yeah, sorry, I was just…yeah." I got up quickly, turning my face away and hoping he would not see my blush. I really should not stare. Don't stare. Do not…stare.
"Kayla?"
STARING.
"Nothing," I said with a smile. "I'm just…peachy." Before he could ask me what that meant I added quickly: "I'm fine."
"Good. Now we must sing as we ride, I have not sung in an age! Might you teach me that song you sang in Innail? It was most beautiful."
And so that was how we spent our day. When we stopped for lunch he began to work out the notes on his lyre, and by the time we had finished our evening meal he could play the whole song, so the two of us sang along to the twinkling notes. It sounded beautiful and I said so.
"Not unlike yourself," Cadvan replied.
"Are you saying I'm beautiful?" I asked after a moment.
Cadvan smiled. "Yes, I am."
"Well then, thank you. Though I think you're wrong."
"I am rarely wrong, and I am certainly not wrong in this case. You are very beautiful."
"Ah, I've been upgraded, very beautiful am I now?" I teased.
"Yes," he said simply, and I was silenced. He really meant it. I could see the sincerity burning in his eyes.
"I'm, I'm just going to, yeah…" I trailed off as I stood up, and went to have a walk. I was a little worried about getting lost but so long as I didn't walk too far Cadvan would be able to hear me. I was just getting uncomfortable sitting there with him; I needed a moment on my own.
I walked through the trees slowly, taking care not to trip over tree roots and plants. I didn't know how the horses managed it. Cadvan had said that we would be out of the forest the next morning; it was only small.
I couldn't believe he thought I was beautiful. I had been reading about this man for so long; it felt strange to finally meet him and think he might feel in some way similar about me that I felt about him.
The trees began to peter out, so I stopped walking and looked out at the view. There was a great vast plain stretching out in front of me at a slight downwards tilt. There were trees dotted about, and the road curved right the way across it.
I heard crackling twigs behind me. "Kayla?" came a soft voice, revealing the person to be Cadvan. The footsteps continued, and then stopped. Suddenly they renewed again, faster, and just as he was about to reach me I turned around and his lips met mine in a brief but firm kiss. He had taken my face in his hands at the same time, and left them there as he rested his forehead against mine."Please tell me my actions do not offend you," he said rapidly.
I grinned. "Of course not. Now do it again."
He let out a sigh and then we were kissing again, quickly and urgently. As we pulled away he said, "I was so afraid you would tell me to go jump in a lake."
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And that's your lot. I hope you liked it, but either way please review and I'm very sorry for the delay.
