This one is dumb and nonsensical and just here for the lulz. Please don't think too hard about it.
Day Nineteen
Dragons
It was an accident. It was a single, teeny-tiny, barely-noticeable mistake. It was the sort of trivial miscalculation that was so seemingly innocuous that the great spirit Barnaby could be forgiven for not catching it. After all, it was nothing that affected him nor anyone who resided on his plane of existence. It was the sort of minor error that happened daily to the best of spirits; the kind that was so utterly inconsequential that it normally wouldn't even be worth the small amount of energy it took to fix were it discovered.
The problem is, you see, that screw-ups made by the divine have a nasty habit of manifesting in the human world as divine screw-ups. And when the Fire Lord suddenly and inexplicably popped out of existence and was replaced by a two-ton, fire-breathing dragon in the middle of giving a speech at the annual peace summit in Ba Sing Se, there was, quite honestly, no more fitting description.
This, of course, caused no small amount of panic. After all, the last time a dragon had been seen by anyone was at least thirty years ago, and to have one suddenly spewing fire and carrying on inside the Earth Palace was not the sort of thing any reasonable person would generally be equipped to handle. This, unfortunately, included the Avatar and his friends.
Now, as we all know, dragons are famously interested in only two things: treasure being one.
The other being princesses.
So it was that when the dragon-fied Fire Lord swept over the crowd on leathery wings, snatched up the daughter of Chief Hakoda of the Southern Water Tribe, and promptly flew straight through King Kuei's favorite decorative window, nobody could fault him for it. Katara was the closest thing present to a princess, after all. And the window was very shiny.
What follows is a series of snippets showing the events that transpired between Fire Lord Zuko absconding with Katara of the Southern Water Tribe and the Avatar journeying to the spirit world to fix this dragon-sized debacle.
oOo
"Really, Zuko? A cave? You could've picked anywhere to be your lair—the Fire Palace, an air temple, a tropical island, a laundromat—but instead you picked a stupid cave. You know I'm going to freeze in here. I'm not dressed for spelunking."
Zuko snorted and tucked his nose into his wing. He was, apparently, entirely unconcerned by her complaints.
Katara was about to be very offended. She opened her mouth and prepared a finger for some very stern wagging, but she was abruptly knocked off her feet when Zuko's tail snaked around her from behind and pulled her against his warm body. Katara's lecture died on her tongue. "I guess that works," she grumbled. Jabbing a finger into his side, she added, "But don't think this suffices as a long-term solution. If you're going to keep me here, you at least need to get me some bedding."
Zuko made no motion to reply, He merely closed his eyes and began to breath evenly and slowly.
oOo
"Why'd you kidnap me, anyway?" Katara asked as she drew little doodles in the earth outside the cave with a stick. "I mean, not that I don't enjoy hanging out with you, but I'd think your animal instincts would drive you to more familiar behavior, such as trying to capture the Avatar. You know, I bet Aang would even think that was cool."
Zuko's canine lips parted, showing off a row of long, wicked-looking teeth and he tossed his head. His bright gold eyes rose to the ceiling briefly before falling back down to look at her.
Katara stopped sketching and placed her hands on her hips. "Did you just roll your eyes at me?"
Zuko snuffled his great nose and managed to look noncommittal despite his severely limited facial mobility.
Katara's eyes narrowed. "Just how much man and how much beast am I talking to right now? You seem to understand me, which means you're intelligent. But are you actually aware of what's going on right now? Do you know what happened to you?"
Zuko just stared down at her with large, catlike eyes.
Katara frowned back at him. "You'd better not be playing dumb. This is a huge mess, you realize. We can't go on living in this cave forever. I mean, you've got a country to run and I've got… Well, I've got stuff. I guess."
Zuko's nostrils flared and he exhaled a puff of steam that engulfed Katara in a muggy cloud.
Katara crinkled up her face and swatted the cloud away. "Stop that! You're going to make my hair frizzy."
oOo
"Zuko!"
A poke.
"Zuko!"
A jab.
"Zuko! Wake up!"
This time, Katara smacked his scaly neck, hoping it would be enough to rouse the slumbering dragon. Her effort was rewarded when one of Zuko's large eyes opened slowly and he gave her an annoyed look.
"Thank goodness you're awake. I need to use the bathroom and you're blocking the exit."
Zuko looked like he wanted nothing more than to drop back into dreamland, but he hefted his heavy serpentine body off the floor and slithered out of the way so that she could reach the cave mouth.
Katara thanked him with a pat. "Jeez, why couldn't you have turned into something more manageable? Like a cat? Or a hamsterkeet?"
Zuko snuffed and lowered his head back to the floor, shutting his eyes again.
Katara left her friend behind to step out into the chilly woods. She shivered and rubbed her upper arms, feeling gooseflesh under her palms. It was dark still, but she could tell by the pale halo on the surrounding mountains that dawn was approaching.
She took care of her business quickly and hurried back to the cave, determined to get some more shut-eye before the sun rose and turned Zuko on. Night was the only time she ever got any peace. As long as the sun was out, Zuko was an unstoppable force of dragon energy. He hunted, he terrorized the local wildlife by dive-bombing them from the sky, he tromped around scraping off tree bark with his enormous claws, and La help her whenever she chose to go to the river for a bath. He loved water and he would dive in and out of the river, tossing water this way and that while she attempted to wash her hair. He was so unlike his normal, human self that sometime Katara wondered if the beast really was Zuko or if Zuko had been sent somewhere else and this dragon had been deposited in his place.
But Katara knew that wasn't the case. Though his facial scar was missing, likely due to the fact that dragon skin was impervious to fire, his lightning scar was still very much present, as she'd seen when he'd rolled onto his back to scratch his shoulders.
So, then, where was her Zuko? Was his personality still there, but buried under layers of dragon instincts? Did he even know who she was, or had he kidnapped her completely by coincidence?
She wished he could talk. That would make all this much easier. She also wished she had some window to the outside world. She could only imagine the chaos the Fire Nation was facing with their ruler up and vanished. By now, the story of what had happened at the summit in Ba Sing Se would've spread and everyone no doubt knew about the Fire Lord turning into a dragon and absconding with her. Katara was sure the rumor mill was having a field day.
There had already been plenty of rumors about her and Zuko to begin with. This would do absolutely nothing to help that.
As she reached the cave, she decided that when Zuko woke up she was going to have a chat with him about going back to check on the world situation. At the very least, they needed to reassure their friends that they were okay.
oOo
It turned out they didn't need to do any reassuring after all because the next day, Aang, Sokka, Toph, and Suki showed up at their cave.
Katara had been attempting to convince Zuko to throw out a sapling he'd ripped out of the ground and was gnawing on as if it were some kind of chew toy when they arrived. He was shaking leaves all over the cave and she was not at all relishing the idea of having to clean up after him. It was as she was in the midst of wagging her finger at him and giving him a talking to in her most stern tone that Appa descended from the sky and landed a few feet away with a groan of greeting.
"Katara! Zuko! There you are!"
Katara turned around in surprise. "Aang?" she greeted the young, bald monk, shocked to see him there. Her gaze moved past him to the others who were in the process of jumping down from Appa's saddle. "How did you guys find us all the way out here?"
"We followed reports of dragon sightings to find the general area and then we used Appa to search from the sky until we spotted you," Sokka answered, coming up beside Aang. He smiled widely then and enveloped Katara is a hug. "I'm glad to see you're alright. We were really worried."
Behind her, Zuko snuffed and lashed his tail, apparently offended by the insinuation that she'd been in any danger.
The movement caused the group's attention to turn to him and Katara watched her friends study Zuko with interest and wariness. The weight of their scrutiny caused him to extend his neck to its full height and shake his fluffy head at them like a peeved rabbiroo.
"So, that's Zuko?" Suki asked disbelievingly.
"Gained a few pounds, that's for sure," Toph remarked from the side of the group.
Aang frowned and approached Zuko with his hand out. Zuko watched him warily but didn't do anything to stop his advance. When Aang placed his hand on Zuko's shoulder blade, Zuko made a short, thoughtful rumbling noise deep in his throat. He seemed to decide Aang wasn't a threat because he lowered his head, relaxing out of his defensive stance.
"Do you know how this happened, Aang?" Katara asked, joining the young monk at Zuko's side. "If we don't figure out how to return him to normal, the Fire Nation's going to have a real crisis on their hands."
Aang shook his head. "I don't know. I've never heard of a person changing into an animal." He squinted up at Zuko and crossed his arms.
Sokka stepped forward then, scratching his chin as he appeared to inspect Zuko up, down, left and right. "Doesn't this whole thing sort of reek of spirit world shenanigans?" he postulated. "I mean, the only times I've ever seen one thing turn into another thing were when the spirits were involved. You know, like Yue turning into the moon and you turning into Koizilla."
Aang nodded. "You have a point. Humans can't just transform all on their own."
"Well, why don't you go ask you friends in the spirit world?" Toph suggested, raising her hands palm-up. "Even if they don't know what happened, they might know of a way to fix it."
Again, Aang nodded. "Yeah. That sounds like the best course of action. I'll go right away."
"Well, then," Sokka said, turning back around to look at the group. "I guess we'd better get comfortable. This could take a while."
oOo
While Aang meditated outside the cave, the rest of the group sat in a circle and thought about what they were going to do if Aang couldn't find the answer he was looking for.
"I mean, I guess he could still lead the Fire Nation," Sokka posited. "There aren't any laws saying a dragon can't be Fire Lord, right?"
"And just how exactly is he supposed to govern when all he wants to do is scrape up trees and eat squirrelmunks?" Toph argued. "Not to mention it's difficult to give orders when you can't talk."
"Well, what do you want to do? Hand the throne over to Azula?"
The whole group cringed visibly. That was definitely not an option.
Zuko, who had been lying quietly with his head on the ground beside Katara, suddenly came alive and opened his mouth, displaying his rows of daggerlike teeth. He coiled his neck back and his throat moved, producing an odd growling rumble. They watched his lips and tongue move in a way that looked very unnatural on his canine face and he cycled through a collection of sounds, none of which anyone in the group could extrapolate any meaning from.
"Is he…trying to speak?" Sokka wondered aloud, his eyebrows shooting up nearly to his hairline.
In response to his question, Zuko gnashed his teeth in frustration and wagged his head up and down violently.
That was a sign all of them could understand.
Sokka's mouth dropped open in shock and he scrambled to his feet to lunge comically over to Zuko. He grabbed Zuko's great snout and leaned forward to look him in the eyes. "Whoa! Zuko! Are you in there, buddy?"
Zuko made an annoyed barking sound and tossed his head to shake Sokka off. His tail rose off the ground and lashed the side of the cave, leaving a mark on the stone.
Katara rose to her feet as well and placed a hand on his neck, causing him to still. He craned his neck around to look at her and she could read frustration in his large, gold eyes. He made a noise that sounded almost like a whine and one of his feet scraped at the ground, creating five parallel lines in the dirt. "Zuko?" she questioned tentatively. "Is that really you in there?"
Zuko tossed his head again and a jittering growl rose out of his throat. Katara's brows furrowed in confusion and she looked beseechingly back at her friends. "What does that mean? Was that a yes or a no?"
Suki shrugged helplessly and Toph raised a hand to her chin. "I don't know if it was either. It sounds like he's fighting his dragon instincts. It's like he wants to communicate with us but he can't."
Katara turned back around to look at Zuko. Was that true? Was his personality in conflict with the dragon's? That sounded awful.
Zuko made another whining sound and dropped his head back onto the floor.
"Well, it seems like he wasn't too pleased by Sokka's suggestion to let Azula take over," she submitted. "I guess if he feels strongly enough about something his human self can override his dragon side?"
Toph snorted and turned to look vaguely in the direction of Zuko's shoulder. "Sorry, Zuko, but I don't think brief flashes of personality are going to be enough to run your country. You could always consider becoming Katara's pet, though."
Zuko crumpled his snout up and snapped his jaws at her. Katara as well levelled Toph with an unimpressed glower. "Toph…"
"Listen guys," Sokka spoke again, walking into the center of the circle. "We don't even need to be having this discussion because Zuko is going to turn back to normal. Aang will figure this out and we'll have the old Zuko back in no time. So let's stop trying to turn him into a pet and instead think about how we're going to explain this whole mess after Zuko gets re-humanfied."
oOo
"Well, guys, I have some good news and some bad news."
The members of Team Avatar exchanged wary glances. This can't be good, was the thought on all their minds.
"Why don't you tell us the good news first?" Katara suggested, raising a hand imploringly.
Aang nodded and the straight line of his mouth curved upward into a smile. "Okay. The good news is that Zuko can definitely be turned back."
A sigh of relief rose up through the group at Aang's announcement and Katara's face broke into a pleased smile. "That's great!"
Sokka nodded his agreement. "So, then, what's the bad news?"
At once, Aang's smile faltered. "Um, yeah. The bad news is that I don't know how to do it."
A period of silence followed this statement as the group looked at Aang uncomprehendingly.
"What do you mean you don't know how to do it?" Toph asked the burning question. "Didn't the spirits tell you?"
Aang smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head. "Well, the spirit I talked to said that the solution was super obvious and not worth his time to explain. Then he shooed me away."
Sokka slapped his forehead with his palm. "Shooed you away? You didn't try asking again?"
Aang held his hands up helplessly. "I couldn't! He shooed me right out of the spirit world."
Katara exchanged a baffled look with Suki. Spirits could do that?
The next one to speak was Suki. She crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight onto one foot before saying, "Well, he said the solution was obvious, so maybe it's something we can work out for ourselves."
Upon Suki's suggestion, Aang and Katara adopted contemplative expressions while Toph and Sokka looked immediately at a loss. "Like what? Ask him?" Toph asked, brandishing her arms. Stepping up to Zuko who was pawing the ground impatiently, she shouted, "Turn back into a human!"
Zuko snorted and flicked his tail but remained quite clearly a dragon.
"Did you really think that was going to work?" Katara asked her, crossing her arms over her chest.
"What? The spirit said it was obvious. That seemed like the most obvious solution to me."
"Yeah," Sokka agreed. "What else are we supposed to try? A kiss from prince charming?" He puckered his lips and made obnoxious kissing noises.
The suggestion was obviously meant as a joke, but Suki's eyes widened and she clapped her hands together. "Wait! Maybe that's it!"
Sokka turned around to eye her skeptically. "Suki, it was a joke."
Suki shook her head. "No, it's a valid suggestion," she argued. "Think about all the fairy tales where a cursed prince or princess is cured by a kiss." She turned to point at Zuko. "Zuko's not technically a prince anymore, but he's still cursed royalty. Maybe he needs the kiss of a princess to turn him back into a human."
The group looked around at each other as they considered this. Suki did make a fair point.
"But I thought it was supposed to be true love's kiss," Aang disputed. "Won't it not work if the person who kisses him isn't in love with him?"
Toph waved a hand dismissively. "Love schmove. Most of the kisses in those stories are from people who literally just met each other. I'm pretty sure just being a princess will be enough."
Aang didn't look convinced. "I dunno… I still think it's supposed to be true love."
Sokka called the group's attention to himself by clearing his throat. "Why don't we just try having Katara kiss him. She's the most princess-like thing around here. If it doesn't work, we'll go find Mai or something."
Katara made a face at her brother, unappreciative of being called a thing. Still, she couldn't argue that the three nations were a little short on princesses at the moment. They certainly weren't about to go and fetch Azula.
"But—"
Aang started to protest, but he was cut off by Katara. "Fine." She uncrossed her arms and marched over to Zuko. Giving him an unimpressed look, she said, "I'm subjecting myself to dragon slobber for you. I hope you appreciate that."
"Hey, are you sure you don't want to maybe think this over for a moment? Maybe there's another—"
Katara once again ignored Aang and beckoned Zuko to lower his head with a finger. Zuko did as instructed and when his head was within reach she leaned in and pressed her lips to the tip of his snout.
There was a moment where nothing happened. Katara was about to pull away when there was an audible pop! and suddenly the mouth pressed to hers was very much more human than it had been a moment ago.
Startled by the noise and the change, Katara took a step back, breaking the contact. A gasp rose up from their onlookers and Katara's eyes widened in surprise.
There, standing in front of her as if he'd always been there, was Zuko, back in his proper form and looking just as surprised as they were.
Save for one very noticeable change.
Zuko blinked in astonishment and then lowered his chin to look down at himself. "Oh, thank the spirits, I'm clothed," he pronounced with a great deal of relief.
Objectively, it was an odd choice for a first sentence following being de-dragonfied, but none of Team Avatar were of the right mind to give it a second thought because they were very much focused on something of far greater interest.
"Zuko…" Katara started, lifting a finger to point at him. "Your face…"
Zuko blinked again and gave her an uncomprehending look. Confused, he raised his hands to his face and touched it with his fingertips. "What? What's wrong with—" He stopped abruptly when the fingers of his left hand ran over the left side of his face. Katara watched him prod the area first in confusion then shock. "My scar," he uttered disbelievingly.
"It's gone," Sokka finished for him, sounding just as amazed.
Sure enough, Zuko's left eye, which had previously been warped by angry scar tissue, was now whole and completely unmarked. He also sported two matching eyebrows and a wholly formed left ear. He moved his two good eyes around to look at each member of Team Avatar one by one and Katara noted that he didn't have to turn his head to see Toph, who was standing in his periphery. As the reality of the change registered, Zuko's lips turned upward into a smile and then stretched all the way into a grin. "It's gone," he echoed Sokka, excitement lacing his tone. "It's gone!" He laughed out loud and touched the locale again in joyous wonder.
Katara found herself grinning as well. "Zuko, that's wonderful."
Zuko removed his hand from him face and turned his pleased expression on her. Without warning, he took a step forward and grabbed her waist with both hands, lifting her high into the air and spinning her around elatedly. Katara made a noise of surprise upon being removed from the ground but laughed when she saw Zuko's happy face grinning up at her. He set her down after two spins and grabbed her in a tight hug.
"It must be because of the transformation," Suki posited when he let her go.
"Yeah, speaking of which," Sokka chimed back in, "Zuko, you were just a full-sized, fire-breathing dragon. You do know that, right?"
Zuko turned from Katara to look at them. His happy smile faded into a more serious expression. "Yeah, sort of." He crossed his arms and his eyebrows pinched together. "It's kind of hazy, but I'm aware that happened."
"And are you aware that you kidnapped Katara and have been hiding in this cave for the past few days?" Aang asked, pointing to the cavemouth at Zuko's back.
Zuko turned around to look at the cave and Katara saw a confused look appear on his face. "I did?"
"Yeah, you definitely did," Sokka confirmed. "The whole world's in a panic about that, by the way."
Zuko's cheeks colored slightly and he shot Katara an apologetic look. "Oh. Uh, sorry."
Katara shook her head. "Don't mention it. Really."
"Well, then," Suki said, her tone portending a topic shift. "Now that Zuko's back to normal—er, mostly—I think it's about time we get him back to Ba Sing Se so we can explain what happened to the Earth King before things get any more out of control."
Zuko nodded vigorously. "Yes. That's a great idea. Let's go immediately."
Spurred into action by Suki's statement, the group left the cave behind and made for Appa. They had a dragon-ton of damage control to do.
As the members of Team Avatar clambered up into Appa's saddle, Aang hung back, an uncomfortable look on his face. To himself, he muttered, "Wait, that worked because Katara's royalty, right? It wasn't true love."
"Aang, get over here!" Toph shouted from Appa's saddle. "Bison's leaving!"
Aang shook his head and jogged over to Appa.
No, surely not. Katara and Zuko? In love? Psssh. Not in a million years.
oO0Oo
lol, Aang. I always give him such a hard time.
I really hope you enjoyed this cracky story. Once again, I'm really sorry for posting late. I've got a million and one things going on due to the holidays and it's much harder now to find time to write. The next few stories are going to have to be extremely short so that I can catch back up. I'll try to make them somewhat amusing so that they don't feel like a complete waste.
