A/N: This whole story started out as a joke with nikkaayy95 and me. We were discussing Kristen stewarts horrible acting and studdering problems and making jokes, but then i realized people really DO have studdering issues and have to deal with not talking normally everyday. I am very much into this story now. I love it and I hope all you readers are enjoying just as much as I am.

I like songs about drifters - books about the same.
They both seem to make me feel a little less insane.
Walked on off to another spot.
I still haven't got anywhere that I want.
Did I want love? Did I need to know?
Why does it always feel like I'm caught in an undertow?

-The world at large by modest mouse

BPOV

I inhaled swiftly and began tapping my fingers on top of my closed laptop. I was uncomfortable in my empty room, and I hated that I had nothing else to do but think. Forks was a good thing and maybe something better will come out of this. Not just better speech but something even better. I began daydreaming, thinking of life in this town if I could speak clearly. I would have friends, I would have a boyfriend, and go to parties, just like any other 17 year old. I sighed loudly and shook my head, clearing the ridiculous thoughts out of my head. It was Friday night still, and Renee had left for Dr. Cullen's house as soon as I got home. So I had free time. A lot of it. I hopefully didn't have to talk to Renee about my session until tomorrow morning. I wonder what Renee and Dr. Cullen were talking about right now? Was it good…or bad?

I had to get the bad thoughts off of my mind, so I started unpacking. The moving truck left with our stuff the day before we left and got here around 11 today. I stood up went to the living room, and grabbed a box with my name on it.

Renee walked in the door as I was finishing the last box to my room. I was exhausted. I looked at the clock, it was only 9:45. I was curious as to what Renee had discussed tonight, but my thoughts steered the other way when my stomach grumbled. Better get some food, since I haven't eaten since 3:00 today. It grumbled once again before I went downstairs to the kitchen.

Renee was sitting at the dining table signing papers when I walked in. Papers? For what? I made myself a bowl quick bowl of cereal, and poured myself a glass of water. Renee quickly looked up at me as I entered the dining room, and I took a seat next to her. Guess the talk will have to be tonight, I thought as she continued glancing through the text then signing the bottom with her quick, spiky signature.

I glanced at the top of the sheet. My eyes widened and my stomach flipped over. Brain Surgery. Honestly, surgery scared me to death. The blood, the wound, and knifes made me cringe to an extent. I couldn't help but ask questions. What if something goes wrong? What if it doesn't help me? I shivered slightly when Renee asked me what was wrong. I guess she could tell I was freaked out. I looked at her with wide, worried eyes and said, "W-what if the Braaaain S-s-surgery doooesn't w-work?"

Renee came closer and hugged me. She whispered lightly, "Bella you have to think positive. Always think positive." I nodded lightly and was tearing up a little. But this was why I moved to Forks right? Yes, you will get fixed, I kept reassuring myself. I pushed my cereal away, suddenly having no appetite, and went to the sink to clean it out. I placed it in the dishwasher and walked back over to Renee. I placed a soft kiss on her cheek and said, "G-g-gooodnight."

It was 10:30 when I walked back into my room. The movers had placed my mattress in the corner nearest to the window. I quickly made my bed with clean sheets and fluffy pillows. I lay my head down gently and glanced out the window, coming face to face with another window belonging to the Cullens'.

EPOV

Pulling up to Tanya's house and parking my Volvo, I saw that every window in the house was lit up. You could see a few people in the windows: dancing, holding beers, or making out. Typical 'Tanya' house party. As I got out of my car and walked to the door, I made sure to hit the lock button about 4 times on my keys. You can never trust these fucking druggies.

I walked up the steps towards the front door, and let myself in. My eyes fell on the drink table and I was in awe at all the alcohol Tanya got a hold of. I poured myself a quick shot of Vodka, knocked it back, and loving the feel of the burn run down my throat. I quickly grabbed a beer can, and went to find Tanya.

She was perched at the top of the stairs, talking to one of her sisters, Carmen. I stopped a few stairs below them and waited for them to conclude their conversation. Not wanting to interrupt since I'm such a gentleman. I snorted out loud at the thought of that. Tanya turned to me, a slow grin spreading across her face. "You ready for tonight Edward?" she said seductively. Or at least she thought it was. I nodded my head slightly and grabbed her waist, giving her a quick kiss.

Tanya grabbed my hand and led me to the den downstairs. When she opened the door a plume of smoke whirled out. I smiled widely, knowing that I'll be inhaling my favorite substance soon. I looked around the room, and on the couches sat her siblings and a few other people smoking. I grabbed the blunt out of Kate's hand, and took a long pull from it. Smiling I blew out the smoke watching it twirl in the air, and passed the joint to Tanya. I grinned at her, and gave her a fake, cheesy wink. I never felt bad about the fact that I use Tanya for drugs, sex, and alcohol. I couldn't help it though. This is how I lived for since the age of 14.

I don't even know how long we were in the den for, or how many times I rolled another blunt, or how many times that blunt got passed in a circle. All I knew was that I was pretty fucked up. I was getting cotton mouth really fast, and I needed a beer or something to drink. I asked Tanya what she wanted and got up slowly, not wanting to lose my footing by getting dizzy. I headed to the drink table and grabbed two cans of red bull, a bottle of Jager, two cups, and two shot glasses.

I went back to Tanya, and she smiled. This was her favorite drink. I put both cups next to eat other, and poured in 1 full can of red bull in each. Tanya handed me the Jager bottle already uncapped, while I set the one shot glass in front of each cup. I muttered a small thanks to her, grabbed the bottle, and poured the shots. I grabbed the cup in my right hand and shot in my left, and I saw out of the corner of my eye that Tanya did the same. I turned towards her and smiled. "1, 2...3!" I dropped the shot glass into the cup of red bull and brought it to my lips.

I chugged the Jager bomb rather fast, Tanya only halfway done. I winked at her yet again, and I walked back out to the kitchen. The counter was cleared off and Mike Newton and a few other guys from school were smoking out of a glass pipe. But it wasn't pot. I decided to join in and have a few hits of the glass. I felt really good after.

I fumbled to the couch after a while, holding my 5th drink. I glanced at my phone it said it was 11:52 already. Where did the time go? Oh right, into pot, meth, and alcohol. Oh well, guess that's what always happens at parties anyways. I was taking a greedy gulp of my beer when I felt someone sit down on my lap. My vision was slightly blurry, but when I saw her teal eyes I knew it was Tanya. I gave her a quick smile, while she giggled drunkenly. She leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "I want to go upstairs." I smiled, set my drink down and scooped her up. I ran upstairs in record time and found her room. I set her down on the bed and locked the door behind me.

An hour later I sat up in bed, we were tangled in the sheets and Tanya was out cold. I laughed quietly. This was nothing new. It was the same routine at her parties. Drink, smoke, have sex, and then I go home. She will never find me lying next to her when she wakes up in the morning. I never do that shit. The question I would have to answer tomorrow when she calls me will be, "What happened last night?" Then I'd have to come over and give her a play by play and also help clean up the mess from the night before. Not really my thing. I got out of bed, got dressed and headed back downstairs. I waved to what was left of the party and closed the front door behind me.

I stumbled down the steps and found my way to the Volvo. I got in and slowly drove home, not wanting to crash in my drunken and high state or get a speeding ticket.

I walked in the door at 2:02, noticing Carlisle and Esme were already asleep. I immediately went upstairs and got in the shower, not wanting Carlisle knowing everything I did tonight. I stepped out of the shower and slipped into blue flannel pants. I slid under the soft covers and fell into deep unconsciousness.