It was 10 pm, pouring raining and Emma's car felt like it was going to break down at any minute yet all she could think about was racing home to see her daughter. She promised Emily that she would be home early tonight but once again Emma's meeting led on later than expected and she couldn't leave until a half hour ago.
As Emma came to a stop she took her anxiety meds then soon began fishing through her purse to find her phone and call Jay to come pick her up because it was obvious her car wasn't going to make it home in the next twenty minutes up the road. Just as the number began to dial
Emma's phone powered off.
"Well this is just great!" Emma said sarcastically. She then started looking deeply in her purse for her charger then realized she left it at work. Emma cursed to herself then took a deep breath finally settling with the fact that she she's just going to have to keep pushing this piece of junk car. "There's no going back now." She said quietly to herself.
How can I decide what's right
When you're clouding up my mind?
I can't win your losing fight
All the time
((((*****))))
Emma continued speeding down the road with hot tears streaming down her face. She hated nights like this where she's alone and forced to deal with the thoughts that run through her mind. She couldn't help but wonder what her life would be like if she didn't have this stressful fast paced life where she worked long hard hours coming home to left over for dinner and barely having enough time to bond with her daughter let alone family in general. Sometimes she wished she could just stop time or run away to a place that feels like a vacation every day with her beautiful daughter and maybe a man that will love her for all she is. "Yeah right." Emma said to herself.
Not gonna ever own what's mine
When you're always taking sides
But you won't take away my pride
No, not this time
Not this time
Emma knew more than anyone that those dreams weren't reality. At least not for her when she had a daughter to work for. Sometimes Emma wished she could just go back to being Emily's age where she didn't have to drive, work or even have a house of five to take care of. During that time she just wanted to save the world even if that meant getting rid of genetically modified foods or making a play about saving the environment.
Emma smiled knowing her daughter is exactly the same as she was at her age. Her daughter loves and is very passionate about the environment just as much as Emma was if not even more. It was amazing because was the daughter Emma always dreamed about. One that's strong minded, passionate, and independent just as much as she was.
How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know how
But Emma couldn't help but realized how much Emily was like her father as well which haunted Emma every day. She never wanted her daughter to resent her for not telling her sooner about her father. But in Emma's eyes she thought she was protecting her.
The truth is hiding in your eyes
And it's hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood
"I was protecting her." Emma said softly yet tiredly trying to reassure herself. Emma drove faster trying to ignore the thoughts running through her head but her thoughts would not stop.
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are
If you're a man at all
Emma always told herself she would never regret her decision. She would be fine as a mother, have a career, and it'd be all she wanted.
"Then why do I feel like this!" She screamed to herself.
"Because you chose this life Emma." She screamed back to herself.
Well, I will figure this one out
On my own
(I'm screaming, "I love you so")
On my own
(My thoughts you can't decode)
Emma banged her hand on the Dash board in frustration. "C'mon!" Emma cried hysterically honking her horn at the car in front of her.
((((*****))))
As the car in front of her began to drive again Emma saw that the wind shield wipers she was using to clear the windows had suddenly stopped working causing her to lose sight of the road in front of her. However, this only caused Emma to drive faster knowing she was only ten minutes away and she was determined to get home to her family.
Suddenly, as Emma tried to wipe the tears from her face she felt her hands shake causing her to lose control of the wheel. She didn't know what was happening. It felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest and her mind was going to explode.
While her hands was shaking she tried to press down on the breaks with her feet but then her feet started to shake juristically causing her car to continue to swerve left and right.
Emma began to gain control of her vehicle just until her life flashed before her eyes and her head was face forwarded and impacted against her wheel while her car was faced forward against a brick wall in the middle of the high way. Emma could only see nothingness and darkness while everyone else saw horror.
How did we get here?
Well, I think I know how
Paramore- Decode
