I know you'd all thought I'd forgotten about this story, but I have not. Like the rest of you, I need to make it to the happy ending. I wish it could come sooner. But every chapter is a step in the right direction right?
- Seven -
Holding Ethan upside down as CJ clung to his leg, Logan wondered how he'd ever survived the week with the boys, who were, in no uncertain terms, attached to him. Feeling the vibration in his pocket, he set Ethan down carefully before telling the boys to play in the expansive backyard, where they would hopefully work out some of their massive amounts of energy.
Finally able to reach his phone, he answered without looking at the screen, catching it on what was likely the last ring to find that it was his Aunt Elinor, who he'd forgotten to call for a few days, what with the temporary duties of a single father.
"How are the little beasts?" she started, and Logan chuckled as the boys wrestled, thankfully on the soft lawn rather than the hard patio. He watched carefully, waiting to speak up until they actually seemed dangerous.
"They're rowdy," he admitted, sitting down in a patio chair to continue what would likely be a long conversation. "But they obviously miss their parents. Last I heard Lucy was improving, so well that they're sending her home in the next few days. Well, home isn't the right word. She's going to stay with Kendall's friends for a bit so she doesn't have to travel."
"And are the lovely Maria and her husband going to stick around for a while, soaking up the sun and letting you care for their brats?" Aunt Elinor jabbed, and Logan rolled his eyes, knowing exactly how to deal with her.
"They should be on their home tonight, but they may stop at a hotel since they're driving. I really don't mind the boys Aunt Elinor. I love kids."
"Maybe if you'd listen to me you'd have some of your own by now," she bit, and of all things she shouldn't have taunted him with this.
Unable to stop himself, he bit back, "And if I hadn't have listened to you I almost certainly would. Kendall's great with the boys you know. He'd make a great father."
"But so would you, and no child needs two. Stop thinking about that toneless guitar player and think about your future. There's a reason you didn't see him for six glorious years. Why don't you think about that?"
He knew she was wrong, about everything, but at her age it was senseless to argue. True, there must have been a reason it had taken so long for them to cross paths, but maybe the reason involved being mature enough to handle whatever they couldn't when they'd first been together. Or maybe she was right and he was simply perpetrating his own fantasy. He was never quite sure when Aunt Elinor was right, but she was always sure to give her opinion, and he decided to change the subject.
"Aunt Elinor, speaking of my future, I wanted your opinion on something," he started hesitantly.
"Yes. Marry her. I don't care what she looks like. You're desperate," she answered, only half-teasing.
Logan rolled his eyes, "I've told you Aunt Elinor. I will fall in love in my own good time, and there's nothing you can do to sway me on that point. I was thinking more for a change of scenery. My mother keeps telling me to visit her in New York, and I'm tired of taking advantage of Maria's kindness. Is it foolish to think that maybe I need an escape?"
"I know I'd get tired of those busybodies," was her initial response, but when he chided her, she answered more rationally. "I think that a lot of things in your life have forced you to think about where you stand on certain things. You've been given a chance to find out what you want and who you are, and in order to figure that out you need to experience new things and new places and new people. Is that fair?"
"That's definitely fair Aunt Elinor," he praised, before adding. "You'll miss me though won't you?"
"I don't see you as it is Logan. What difference would it make to me?" she argued, but he could hear the hurt in her voice.
He wished he could hug her and tell her he'd always love her, but she was miles away in her own garden, sipping on her sweet lemonade and feeling almost as lonely as he did, "Aunt Elinor, I'm not going to neglect you. I'll call you every day. Maybe…"
"Don't say it," she said, and he smiled but continued.
"You should take some kind of class or something. Get out of your house. You're starting to sound like a Faulkner story," he suggested, and she shook her head.
"Makes a few friends and suddenly he's rearranging my social calendar," she muttered to no one in particular, but admitted that she'd think about it. "You will tell me what your finally decision is on moving to New York, won't you?"
"I said I was visiting," he said, pausing before admitting. "But I was thinking about make the visit…an extended one."
"Every once in a while I know what I'm talking about Logan," she teased him, before she told him she'd talk to him later. He hung up and thought about what the change could do for him as he watched the boys tire themselves out in the yard.
He'd already put a lot of thought into his decision, but he hadn't given Aunt Elinor his foremost reason for needing an escape. Like it had six years ago, everything and everyone reminded him of Kendall. But this time he had a perfectly good out, and it was true that his mother called him twice a week to beg him to join her. With Kendall halfway around the world, it was no good to sit and wonder what he was feeling, so maybe it would be best to try something new.
New York would be interesting, it would be exciting, and maybe it would be just what he needed for all the gears to fall into place.
After a week of arguing with his cousin, Logan finally convinced them that the change of coasts was what he needed, and they promised he could keep his things there until he figured out just what he was going to do. It would have been foolish to bring everything with him to New York when he wasn't sure it would work out, though he was hopeful that it would.
His mother had been delighted to hear from him, and promised that everything would be ready for him by the time he arrived. He thanked her, and told her he looked forward to seeing her. It'd been months since their separation, and that was weeks longer than they'd ever been apart before. As absent-minded as his mother was, she was still his mother, and she wanted the best for him.
Before he could leave, he made sure to check in on Mrs. Knight and Katie, who he'd only talked to so much while Kendall had been around. The few moments here and there had been more than he'd gotten when they'd dated, though it was as much his fault as it was Kendall's. He told himself that he was visiting to check in on his mother's house, but he also wanted to check in on them for Kendall's sake, though he knew that as the man of the house Kendall would be keeping tabs on them from wherever he was in the world. It was another thing he'd learned from his year with Kendall, that he was more protective of his family than nearly anything else. He would surely appreciate Logan's interest in them now.
When he arrived, Mrs. Knight was on her way out. She'd found a small group of friends since moving to L.A. and he had to wonder if she and Katie would choose to move out here for good. Kendall had always made it sound temporary, but they were fitting in so well, and Katie was starting to model to help pay for college and soon law school. It was hard to imagine getting many modeling gigs in rural Minnesota.
Mrs. Knight told him to make himself comfortable, considering it was his home, before making Katie promise to be a good hostess. She rolled her eyes, but her good natured smile showed that she intended to comply. As soon as her mother left, she led Logan to the kitchen, where she grabbed two glasses and a pitcher of sweet tea before directing him toward the patio. It had always been his favorite part of the house, and he didn't argue as he sat down at the table, quickly eyeing his mother's dolphin mosaic with a smile.
"Your precious porcelain porpoises are safe," she teased, and he looked up, smiling without argument. He knew they were tacky, but his mother's gaudy taste so familiar that he found it second nature. Though he took it well, Katie quickly apologized, "That was rude. Mom and Kendall keep telling me I need to keep it in check, but I don't have a filter. I'm working on it."
"No, it's fine. You're honest. There are worse things to be," he told her, smiling to show he meant it, before adding, "You're a lot like Kendall in that respect."
She stared at him for a moment from under long lashes, and he felt on edge, like she was staring into his soul, "How much do you appreciate honesty?"
"Now you're scaring me," he admitted, only half-joking as he took a nervous sip from his glass. Katie hesitated, not sure how to word her question before she finally came out with it.
"You're not into girls, are you Logan?" she asked, and he nearly spit his drink all over her. She grinned at the look on his face, amused by how her question had caught him off guard.
"Why would you think that?" he charged, trying to calm his own nerves.
She had no trouble answering with a grocery list of reasons, "Well Lucy went on and on about how you'd never given her the time of day, and from how persistent she can get, I assumed there was more to it than personal taste. You also completely ignored what I'm wearing, which says a lot."
He looked to see that she was wearing very little, a bikini top and shorts that would have been hard-pressed to reach her wrists, let alone her fingertips. She was tan and fit, necessary for a modeling career, and the way she was leaning over would have given him the perfect view had he cared to look. Instead he leaned back to avoid the line of vision, wanting nothing more than to tell her to cover up. She was Kendall's baby sister after all.
"So because I'm not a pervert, I have to be gay?" he cautioned, sounding less offended than he intended. Deep down, he was surprised this confrontation had taken so long, and that it had come from a source that knew so little of him.
She had the decency to look down, tracing the rim of her glass, "It's not just that. It's…you have this look. I don't know how everyone else is so oblivious to it, but when you talk about my brother…it's especially obvious in your eyes. It's almost as if they brighten up just thinking about him."
He knew he couldn't argue, so he remained silent as she went on, the silence confirming her theory, "At first I thought you had a crush on him. It would have been understandable. He might be my brother, but I'm not oblivious to the fact he's attractive and charming. I've seen enough women fall at his feet, just to see him pick them up and send them on their way. At first I assumed he was being a gentleman. That he was simply waiting for the right one."
Or he'd found him and gotten his heart broken, Logan finished in his head, once again feeling the guilt for what he'd done to both of them.
Katie continued, gaining strength with every word, "But then I caught him looking at you, the same way you looked at him. Never when you were watching, but his whole face just changed when he looked at you. And it occurred to me that maybe he was still waiting for the right one, but not in the way I'd first thought. I thought about his abrupt move from Los Angeles six years ago, and how I'd met him during his layover in Minneapolis. I remember he looked like hell, but he wouldn't tell me why, and I imagined he'd gotten his heart broken. What I hadn't expected was all of this."
She motioned to him, and he shook his head, "I don't know what you want me to say."
"Well for starters, a girl never gets tired of hearing that she's right. Start with that," she answered, one side of her lips pulled into a grin.
He exhaled, and unable to stop himself, he admitted, "Yes. Kendall and I were involved. But nobody knows apart from us. And maybe Carlos. I can never seem to tell what he's thinking, but I'm pretty sure he knows."
"Carlos is pretty great," she answered, letting the conversation pause awkwardly before going on. "You guys had it bad for each other didn't you? That explains why you both seemed so frazzled when we forced you to be in the same room together. It must have been horrible."
"Tell me something I don't know," he interjected, and she thought for a moment before leaning forward to answer a statement that he'd meant to be rhetorical.
"I know that my brother is ready to find someone. He's tired of being alone, and I don't blame him. I also know that he deserves somebody who wants to be with him whatever the cost," she paused, and he wondered exactly how much she'd deduced. "But I also know that he wants you. Whether you end up together in the end is not up to me, but I can see that you want each other. Which is why you're both idiots."
"I'll try not to be insulted," he tried weakly, knowing that she had him pinned.
"Oh no, that time I meant to insult you. We've been living here three months and neither of you have made a move. You've just been angsty and hopeless and my god…it's like a Brontë novel or something. I don't care what happened six years ago. If you still have feelings for each other, you should be doing something about it."
He didn't want to listen to her reasoning. After all she had no idea what had gone on between them. Even when he thought about trying to rekindle the fire that had once burned between them, it was always with the afterthought that they might never be able to get past what he'd done. That it would come up in the middle of arguments and leave him owing Kendall for the rest of whatever relationship they could now have. He knew it would be better for them to both move on, if only his heart would cooperate.
"Would this be a bad time to mention that he's in Hong Kong?" he added, trying to lighten the subject matter. Katie saw right through him and rolled her eyes.
"He'll come back eventually," she promised. "And when he does you'll have had some time in New York to come to terms with whatever is holding you back. And when that weight is lifted, maybe you morons can actually work something out."
"So you think I should go to New York?" he asked, realizing that he craved her opinion for a reason unbeknownst to him.
"I think you need to get away from these people who name drop my brother like he's some sort of common modifier. Sorry, I know, I'm working on it. And I think you should get out of your comfort zone to see if you're not just coming back to Kendall as a default because you can't find anything better."
Though he appreciated her advice, Logan had a hard time agreeing that he would be able to find anything better. Six years had proven that it was not the case.
Arriving at JFK, Logan was apprehensive about what his decision would mean in the grand scheme of his life. Over the phone, he'd noticed that his mother was hiding something. Immediately his mind had gone to their finances, and what his mother could be doing with them. After all, the accountant worked for her and could hide whatever she didn't want him to know.
She hadn't picked him up from the airport, instead sending a driver, which confirmed that she hadn't been as good as he could have hoped. He couldn't exactly cancel it when the poor guy was waiting there for him with his name on a placard, but he'd have to have a talk with his mother very soon. They were finally getting back on their feet, and all he needed was for her spending to throw them face first back into debt.
It had been a long time since he'd visited his aunt in New York, but even he knew they were heading in the wrong direction. The driver dropped him off at the front of a rather tall apartment building, easily recognizable as one of the more expensive ones in the city, and with no other option he asked the doorman if he'd ever heard of Jane Mitchell.
After being directed to the fourteenth floor, he took the elevator up to the apartment, calling his mother from outside the door to be sure that it wasn't all a hoax. She opened the door, beautiful as always, with a broad smile on her face, "Surprise Logie!"
It was quite the surprise alright, especially as he walked into the palatial apartment, which thought smaller than their house in Los Angeles was definitely bigger than his apartment. How she'd hidden all of this from him was a shock, considering that she would have had the apartment decorated to her taste (or complete lack thereof) which would have cost tens of thousands of dollars on top of the obvious cost of real estate in Manhattan. He was doing calculations in his head and trying not to show how panicked he was, retaining a smile as she continued to show him around the place, his heart dropping with every new room.
Finally she showed him to his room, which she'd had decorated in sand and teal because "he'd so loved the beach when he was little" and he turned off the sounds of the ocean that were coming from a machine on the dresser before groaning and throwing his body onto the king sized bed. Still smiling, his mother promised she'd come get him for dinner before leaving him to his own devices.
Groaning, he pulled out his phone to call Robert, the family accountant, to see just how bad it was. It wasn't as bad as he had imagined, but Robert warned him that at the rate his mother was spending money it wouldn't take very long. When he mentioned that he was staying with her, Robert told him that it would be a good idea to take over some of the day to day spending from his mother, since she did it thoughtlessly. Knowing that the accountant was right, Logan promised to have a talk with his mother as soon as he was comfortable.
Suffering from the effects of stress and shock, he curled into his bed, trying to ignore the thread count on the soft sheets. He was almost asleep when his mother came in to summon him for dinner. On the rather long walk to the dining room, she broke it to him that she'd invited a few people over to welcome him. He expected his aunt, but was instead greeted by strangers, including a man that could have gone to high school with him, but was pulling his mother to him around her waist.
Logan felt like he was going to be sick as his mother introduced the man, an immature combination of beach blond and body spray, as her boyfriend. The guy reached out a hand, and his mother nodded to encourage him, so he reached out to shake the guy's hand.
"Clay," the man introduced himself, and Logan shortly gave his own name before they nodded, the most passive aggressive form of mutual distaste they could manage with his mother standing there. He didn't want to act like a spoiled child, but his mother was far too old to be dating someone that he could have gone to school with. Especially when the only reason Clay would be dating her was running low and fast.
He decided to move past it for the time being, as he hugged his aunt, before being introduced to a few of his mother's new friends, as well as some she'd gotten back in contact with that insisted he looked so much older now. At nearly thirty, he couldn't very well argue with them.
Finally his mother led him over to a person he immediately recognized, and he smiled as the veil of recognition fell over her face, "Logan? You're…"
While he pulled the tiny figure into a hug, his mother explained, "I knew you would remember each other. Ella just moved back into town and we ran into each other. I told her you were coming to stay and she insisted on becoming reacquainted. You guys were so close when you were younger."
Surrounded by unfamiliar faces, even this glimpse into his childhood was enough to excite him, and he tried to console his old friend as she apologized for not recognizing him in San Francisco. She'd been there for the festival and had been forced to bring a friend in for heat exhaustion, which explained running into her at the Starbucks in the hospital. He explained that he'd been there for a friend, who was doing much better now.
"So this friend of yours? Just a friend?" she asked, and he could hear the flirtation in her voice. When she caught the confused look on his face, she added, "I'm sorry Logan, the years have been good to you. I can't help myself."
Pausing, he answer quietly, "Just a friend. And you're not half-bad yourself."
It was the first time he'd flirted with a woman in a long time, but she didn't seem to mind, blushing at his compliment. He still stood by his prior thoughts, that he would never find anyone better than Kendall, but if he'd known her longer did it really count? He knew he was getting ahead of himself, but part of him was tired of fighting for Kendall. Maybe Ella was what he needed, and the smile never left his face as he spent the night getting reacquainted with her.
She was studying fashion, and was somewhat of a reformed party girl. But she was sweet and adorable, just like she'd been when they were little. He even reminded her that they'd used to take baths together, which earned him a flirty slap on the arm. After all the drama and tenseness of trying to rekindle his relationship with Kendall, the no-pressure flirting was a relief, and he gave back whatever he got, hugging her one last time when she made her excuses to get home.
Hazarding a guess, he asked for her phone number, which she gave him with a wink. When he looked up, his mother was looking at him, a grin on her face, and he realized that this had been her plan all along. It was too soon to tell, but maybe his mother was right about something. Maybe this would work out. And maybe, finally, he could forget about Kendall.
