A/N: Someone asked if I could update more frequently and make longer chapters. Sorry to say that I want to keep the chapters more or less the same length for consistency and I will update depending on how busy/lazy I am at the time. However I do want to keep up with this and your reviews do push me along, so thanks. Hope you enjoy.

The Veela Conspiracy

Chapter Four: Confusing Confrontations

Once they had arrived at the Gryffindor common room and found Hermione and Ron, Harry decided that it was perhaps not the best place to settle down for a relaxing morning. He had just begun a nice game of exploding snap with Hermione, whilst Sirius, Remus and Ron whispered frantically in a corner of the room, when he had heard it. A giggle. A high, feminine, slightly hysterical giggle that seemed to say ohmerlinhe'ssoadorableijustwanttohughimandsqueezehimuntilhecollapses. Harry's head shot up and he saw eyes, dozens of eyes staring unblinkingly at him. It was at that moment that he realised that this day was not going to get any better.

'Hermione…' he whimpered.

'What is it Harry? You know it's your tu…' Hermione broke off as she saw the Hufflepuffs. '…urn.'

'I didn't think Hufflepuffs knew how to pronounce Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius,' hissed Harry at his frozen friend.

'It's ok Harry,' said Hermione slowly, 'Just relax and make no sudden movements. Come here.' Harry got up slowly and edged towards Hermione and the door. The eyes tracked his movement steadily. 'Ron, Professor Lupin, Sirius. I think we need to go.'

'Just a second Hermione,' called Remus, oblivious to the situation. 'Now Ron you want to support your friend.' Ron looked decidedly green and shifted uneasily.

'It's not like the rest of us aren't going to suffer,' muttered Sirius, who proceeded into grumbling as his husband glared at him.

'And you want him to be safe after all he's been through?' Ron just looked down as if trying to avoid the situation. 'Ron?' prodded Remus.

'Fine,' Ron finally bit out and said as he turned to glare at Harry, 'but I'm keeping my eyes shut.'

Meanwhile Harry was getting more and more upset. He was sure the Hufflepuffs were edging closer and closer and now Ron was glaring at him, and on top of the rejection at breakfast and everybody being so strange, he could feel his eyes getting suspiciously damp.

'If you've finished,' said Hermione 'we need to get out of here.' The three looked up and noticed the Hufflepuffs. Strange how they all seemed to have fluffy hair.

'Well call me Merlin's aunt,' said Sirius in bemusement. 'How did they get in here?'

'I didn't know the school had that many Hufflepuff girls' said Remus whilst Ron was just staring at the largest collected group of oestrogen he had ever seen in a ten foot square. More Hufflepuffs appeared from behind the curtains. He took a step back.

'Leave this to me,' pronounced Sirius, striding forwards with confidence. 'I have plenty of experience dealing with Hufflepuff girls. From my Hogwarts days.' He ended with a wink at Remus. Remus mumbled to himself under his breath something about revenge.

'Ladies of Hufflepuff, whose beauty knows no compare…' Sirius noticed with satisfaction the blushes that were strewn across Hufflepuff face and, as he gave them a charming smile, felt satisfaction as the blushes deepened. '…I bring to you a gift in honour of you gentle ways, your sweet smiles, your heaving boso…'

He was cut off by a stinging hex to his posterior sent by his beloved who smiled at him sweetly as he glanced around. Turning his back on the man with a sniff he took out his wand and waved it impressively, the eyes following its every movement. Then with a little poof, there was a fluffy white kitten with a green bow, mewing in front of the fluffy Hufflepuffs. Hermione could swear she saw the stupid girls fall into a puddle at the kitten's feet. However the girls still seemed to be attracted to the potential adorableness of Draco and Harry as the eyes swivelled backwards and forwards between Harry and the kitten. If Harry wasn't careful he'd end up with a green bow around his neck. Thinking quickly she multiplied the kittens, grabbed Harry's arm and ran, followed closely by Ron, Remus and Sirius. Behind them the Hufflepuffs were descending on the kittens. Hermione felt sorry for the felines. Ron felt vaguely jealous.

'Hufflepuffs Sirius?' Remus managed to growl out as they ran away.

'It was before I realised I was gay.'

'That's no excuse.'

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Finally collapsing on the thankfully empty quidditch pitch, Harry gasped and panted in a way that would have had Seamus reaching for a large disguising notebook. He huffed a little as he turned around on his stomach and reached out to scratch Padfoot's stomach, who wriggled away just in time.

'It's not fair.' He whined to his godfather and step-godfather and Ron and Hermione. I thought I was finished with being chased when Voldemort got himself killed. 'But noooooo. Now, for absolutely no reason, Hufflepuffs are chasing me.' His four companions looked at each other awkwardly over Harry's head. He didn't notice. Instead, not being happy with the complete lack of sympathy he had just received, he continued, 'and it's especially horrible after this morning and Parvati in front of the WHOLE SCHOOL.'

'What's this?' said Sirius, having morphed back in confusion and firmly dragging Harry's oblivious hand with his gloved one away from it's proximity to his groin. He smiled apologetically to Remus who ignored him. Oh the canine was soooo getting punished tonight!

Harry perked up with someone responding to his woes and told the whole sorry story.

'…and everybody heard and now all the girls will think I'm pathetic and never want to go out with me.'

'W..e..elll,' said Remus, clearing his throat and trying not to laugh. 'I'm sure it's not half as bad as you think it is.'

'And besides,' pointed out Hermione slyly, 'There are always the boys.'

'The boys,' said Harry blankly. Ron rolled his eyes. After catching Harry glancing one too many times in places that should not be mentioned during shower time after quidditch, he was no longer delusional about Harry's sexual orientation. However Harry seemed to be trying to take self-delusion to levels previously un-reached by wizardkind.

'Anyway,' continued Harry as if no one had said anything remotely connected to boys, 'Do you think Parvati will want to go out with me after her date with Neville?'

'Harry,' said Sirius slowly.

'Yes?' Harry blinked up adorably at his godfather, who once again cursed the Malfoy veela spawn that he was going to have to watch this innocent creature orgasm.

'You know how me and Remus live together and are married and stuff.' Remus smiled affectionately at his husband's complete lack of ability at expressing himself.

'Yep,' chirped Harry.

'Well it's mostly because I'd do anything for Remus and I know he'll always be there for me and we love each other.' Remus tried to blink his tears away inconspicuously and Harry sighed at the romance. 'But it's also because he's a man and I like men. I like men's hair and their muscles. I like their lack of breasts and their arses and their cocks.' Remus growled. 'But especially Remus' cock,' Remus grinned and blushed at the same time. 'And Remus likes my cock as well.' Sirius paused and then added unnecessarily. 'Because Remus also likes men.' Then he added to Harry, who had been staring at him half shocked by his proclamation. 'Do y' see where I'm going with this?'

'Msehaouhb,' whimpered Harry confusedly.

'Harry,' said Ron bluntly, 'Do you like breasts?'

'Of course. They're very nice,' said Harry primly.

'Very nice!' expostulated Ron. 'They're not very nice, they're bleeding fantastic. I mean just look at the way they jiggle and move. All fluidic and hypnotic; like a lava lamp! Look at Hermione's for instance.'

Hermione glared as eyes swivelled to her chest. She crossed her arms decisively. 'Let's not look at Hermione's breasts for instance.'

'Yeah…well…' said Ron awkwardly. 'The point is Harry, you're not looking at Hermione's breasts, because you're too busy staring at Seamus' abs, or Dean's arms…'

'…or Malfoy's arse,' interjected Hermione smugly.

'Yeah!' said Ron emphatically. 'Or Malfoy's arse! I don't know how you catch the snitch when we have a match against Slytherin because I swear you're always staring at his arse. And the way you act in the showers, brushing up to everyone whenever you can. And the other day you asked me if I thought Blaise Zabini's eyes are pretty. NO I DON'T THINK HIS EYES ARE PRETTY. BECAUSE I'M NOT GAY.' He bellowed. 'BUT YOU ARE GAY HARRY.'

Harry squeaked.

'GAY.'

Harry fainted.

'I don't think that was the best way to break it to him Ron,' said Remus, who was frankly a little awed at the performance.

'Well he had it coming to him,' said Ron sulkily and then under his breath, 'Always staring at my cock in the showers.'

When Harry finally came round it took a little forceful persuasion from his friends to prevent him from purposefully forgetting the conversation had ever taken place. And then it took some further persuasion to prevent Harry from denying every word they had said, including Remus' and Sirius' wedding. Ron didn't know why he didn't just admit it. It wasn't like it was that big a deal.

'It's probably because he is subconsciously afraid of being rejected for being different, due to his childhood with the Dursleys,' surmised Hermione. 'And most muggles do tend to regard homosexuality as different.'

'HEY!' said Harry indignantly as he got up determinedly. 'I am not some project for you to practice your amateur psychology on.'

'I think she's very good,' said Sirius.

'She's not good,' he muttered before continuing loudly. 'And if I say I am not gay then I AM NOT GAY.' Harry's eyes wandered sideways and down as Sirius took off his shirt and stretched out, in the admittedly not very warm sun.

'Harry,' said Remus loudly to catch his attention. 'I'd appreciate it if you didn't stare at my husband.

'I was watching the butterfly,' said Harry indignantly.

'What butterfly?'

'It was there.' Harry blushed at the rather lame reply. His four friends just looked meaningfully at each other and were relieved to know that at least on some level Harry was aware of his fairy nature. Then they noticed he was staring determinedly at Hermione's breasts.

'Harry!'

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YOU ARE GAY HARRY YOU ARE GAY HARRY YOU ARE GAY HARRY YOU ARE GAY HARRY YOU ARE GAY HARRY YOU ARE GAY HARRY YOU ARE GAY HARRY

The words circled in his brain endlessly and Harry pouted to himself as he led the group back into the castle. Why were his friends always confusing him? He turned a corner leading up to the entrance and bumped into something warm and solid and seemingly unmoveable. Harry, however, was not unmoveable and would have bounced back onto his oh so firm buttocks if arms rippling with hard muscle hadn't wrapped themselves round his considerably smaller form and tugged him closer into the large firm body.

'Wha…' His voice broke off as his face was pressed into someone's chest where he could feel rumbling. It was strange; it was almost as though the person holding him was purring.

'Oh for Merlin's sake,' he could hear Sirius say.

Harry pushed aside the rather large part of him that thought it was rather nice to stay wrapped up in these large warm arms, and pushed on the chest that he was pressed against.

'Draco!' Harry heard a voice speak warningly. Malfoy! It was Malfoy holding him. He pushed again, and broke free as the arms let him go slowly and reluctantly. Harry stumbled back and, regaining his balance, looked up at Malfoy and then down again. Damn Malfoy for being taller than him.

Remembering all Dumbledore had said about putting past resentments behind them after the war, Harry bit back the rude comment that was aching to spring forth and simply said, 'Sorry.'

When Malfoy didn't reply Harry looked up again and saw that the big blonde boy was staring at him in a way that was disturbingly reminiscent of the Hufflepuffs. But they were just psychotic, where there was something strangely inhuman about the silver glow of Malfoy's eyes.

'You all there Malfoy?'

With the lack of response Harry reached up to poke Malfoy on the head, but his wrist was grasped mid-poke and Malfoy gently, but very firmly, brought Harry's finger to his mouth. He started to suck on it gently.

'Malfoy, what the fu…' Harry whimpered before being cut off by Sirius.

'Language, young man!'

'But Padfoot he's…' Harry didn't know how to finish the sentence. He didn't know what Malfoy was doing. Malfoy began lapping at the end of Harry's finger with his tongue, before letting Harry's finger go to lap at his palm. Harry blushed a brilliant, glowing red. Everyone else seemed vaguely stunned by the turn of events.

'Help.' Harry half moaned, half whined. Draco growled. Then Blaise Zabini shook himself out of his stupor and went to Harry's rescue.

'Draco you really should let got of Potter.' Malfoy ignored him. Pansy Parkinson stepped up to help.

'You wouldn't want to jeopardize your future would you?' There seemed to be some slight reaction from Malfoy, who looked at his friends but didn't stop his molestation of Harry's hand. Then Harry gave a little squeak as Malfoy found a particularly sensitive portion of his wrist, and Malfoy lost all interest in his friends.

'Sometimes you have to do everything yourself' Hermione hissed. 'Stupefy!'

Looking down at Malfoy who was in a beautiful blond pile at his feet, Harry was a little surprised the situation had been resolved so quickly, and a tiny, a very tiny, bit disappointed. That tongue! He scratched the back of his neck absently.

'Thanks Hermione.' Hermione nodded. 'Zabini, Parkinson.' He addressed the Slytherin pair. 'What the hell is wrong with Malfoy?' Harry asked agitatedly.

'A minor infection,' said Pansy Parkinson. 'It'll affect his behaviour for the next week or so. Hopefully by then he'll have control over it.' Harry shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he felt her eyes boring into him. It seemed as though Zabini said softly 'I wish I had an infection like that,' but when he looked up Zabini's face was blank. It was odd because everybody else seemed to be glaring at him. Harry shrugged it off.

'Will you be able to deal with Malfoy for now?' Harry asked politely, indicating the body at his feet.

'We'll manage,' said Parkinson smoothly. 'You'd better run along to do whatever Gryffindors do. I heard that there were some kittens stuck up a tree. It sounds like your style.'

'We'll be going then,' said Hermione frostily, and lead the group into the castle. As Harry passed Zabini he glanced into the boys eyes and shivered. Such pretty eyes. Stopping himself abruptly at that thought, he rushed to catch up with Hermione.

When he bumped into a wall whilst fixedly staring at her breasts, he decided there were definite hazards involved in being heterosexual.