Day 4: Alone
Casket For Two
As you will most likely be able to tell, I was in a dramatic angst mood, you could say.
Isn't it funny how I went from love filled, to gangster, then went cutesy again, and now I'm at angst(it that what you'd call this?). Stay toned for more lol.
It was a beautiful day.
One of the most sunniest, cloudless days, the sky shinning a magnificent blue. Bees went about their business, their fuzzy little bodies burrowing deep into brightly colored flowers collecting pollen, some buzzing around the beautiful white roses, freshly cut, sitting innocently upon the closed cassette. Up in the sky, birds glided lazily through the vast emptiness, soaring freely, weightlessly, without a care in the world, as if the sea of sadden souls did not exist beneath them.
To the edge of the forest, littered with large healthy trees, a brown bushy-tailed squirrel sat upon thick green grass, a nut in its paws, before being spooked, fleeing up the large old tree, disappearing into the bright green leaves. Dew left over from the morning glistened in the sun, the scent of cut grass penetrating their noses.
Dead blue eyes took it all in with a sense of detachment. The day was far too beautiful. To the point of being offensively beautiful, filled with such color and life, vibrant and so damn happy when it shouldn't be.
Not when his world was torn to pieces.
Not when the ruins of his happy life lay broken beyond repair at his feet.
Not when his soul was shattered to millions of fragments, each tiny speck beyond repair.
The day shouldn't be perfect.
The sun should have been hidden behind dark rain filled clouds, it's rays of light unable to shine down upon the world, its light smothered, bathing the world in the same darkness his found himself drowning in, reflecting his dark world.
No animals should have been out. Instead, he wished they would all vanish and go home to keep their liveliness to themselves, to mourn like he did, to do anything but act as if life were perfect, because it wasn't.
Life would never be the same for him again.
Keen ears drowned out the sound of his family's tears nothing but muffled noise to him as he looked to them from the corner of his eyes- but it's not like that would have made any difference with how loudly his inner dragon mourned the loss of their beloved mate.
They stood together, holding on to one another for comfort and strength, eyes overflowing with tears, faces pale and sunken in.
To the center, surrounded by the other members of their guild, stood four figures holding each others hands with death grips, afraid that if they let go, they would lose another member of their small family.
In the center stood Erza, the strong and formidable knight, Fairy Tails famed Titania, her composure gone, body shaking, tears falling from both her eyes, mourning the loss of a women she called sister.
To her left was Gray, openly sobbing, head thrown back up towards the sky, crying out her name, not caring to keep up his cool demeanor in the wake of such a loss. Lucy had been his little sister after all.
And at her right, head bowed down and tears streaming down his face, Natsu stood silent. In his arms sat Happy, the blue Exceeds face the perfect picture of sorrow. The pair looked far worse then then ever did when Lisanna had 'died'.
How he wished he could join them.
How he wished he could cry as they were.
To mourn her departure as hard they did.
But he couldn't.
And they understood that.
Because at the moment of her death, as her last breath left her frail and failing body, the bond between them lost its warmth. The love she felt for him, the bond they shared, went cold and numb, and Laxus couldn't feel a thing.
He was drowning within a sea of numbness, his body frozen in place as he watched the casket lower into the ground, unable to run towards it like he wished too. Unable to rip open the lid and pull her cold lifeless body from within, hoping that it was all a dream- that he would wake up and find her asleep beside him, breathing.
One by one, scoops of rich dirt were thrown down, slowly covering the beautiful silver coffin engraved with stars, burring her. And unlike with the sounds of his family members sobbing, he could hear with great accuracy every shovel stabbing into the dirt and the way small clumps fell as the shovels rose up, and the most heartwrenching of sounds- the sound of the dirt as it landed upon her coffin like a hammer slamming down upon a nail. Without his notice, his limp hands flinches with each drop of dirt.
And as much as he wanted to, he couldn't scream out for them to stop. His mouth just couldn't open, his vocal cords silent and unwilling to make even the smallest of sounds, just as his body refused to move.
He was stuck, forced to watch as the grave became full, completely covered in dirt.
How he wished he was in there with her, holding her in his arms as he always did.
How he wished that he too was dead.
What use was life now that she was gone?
What use did he have?
Why continue living when all his happiness, his love, was gone without any hope of returning to him?
Without her, without his little wife, his mate, he was nothing.
He was a dragon without wings and no possibility of flight, for she had taken that with her.
He was a dragon without it's mighty roar, unable to roar out his pain and loss, voice gone just as she was.
He was an empty shell, all alone and lost within the world.
I was going to end it hear buuuttttttt...
The days came and went, mingling together until he no longer knew what time of day it was or how long had passed.
Laxus had spent days at her grave, unmoving, ignoring his teammates as they begged and pleaded for him to come home with them.
What home, he scoffed. That house he had built was not a home. At least, not anymore. How could they want him to return back to that empty place knowing she wouldn't be there? Knowing that he would be all alone within that cold and dark structure.
No, his place was here, at her grave, with her.
Reaching down, his cold fingers pressing against the even cooler stone of her headstone, he spoke softly to her, softly strocking at the glass encased photo of her. "Besides, how could I leave you here, all alone without me? I promised to never leave you, to always be by your side... how can they except me to just abandon you here? To forget about you like all these other lone graves have been forgotten...? I can't. I just can't do that to you."
But the others refused to leave him be.
"Laxus, please come home." Evergreen begged as she kneeled on the ground, her manicured hands gently shaking at his hunched over shoulders. She frowned in sadness as he ignored her, his gaze dead and glued to the headstone's picture. "This isn't healthy, Laxus. You've been out here for five days now, please, please, please get up and come back with us."
When he still refused to budge, Evergreen sighed, nodding behind her and standing back up.
"This is for your own good. I hope you can forgive us someday... I'm sorry." She said stepping back and allowing Bixslow to take her place, his eyes glowing brightly with his magic.
One second Laxus was with Lucy, sitting at her grave, lost in memories of her, and the next, he was home in bed.
His grandfather refused to let him return to the cemetery. So too did his team and the others, begging him to stay and let her go, to come back to them.
But what would they know?
They hadn't lost their mate.
He did!
They never had to watch as their true love, their light, deteriorate, battling against the same sickness that had plagued her mother, fighting to live but slowly loosing the battle with each day, growing weaker, and weaker, and weaker and weaker.
They didn't have to watch her grow so weak that she couldn't lift a finger, confined to their bed towards the end, wishing that she could go out and summon her spirts. To be able to spend more time with her friends and go on many more adventures. To have been able to start a family with him to leave him with something precious to fill the void she knew her death would leave.
They didn't have to endure her scent loosing its calming fragrance. The didn't have to deal with the scent of death hanging heavily on her body and tainting the air.
They didn't have to watch as her bones grew more prominent, as her checks sunk in, as her hair lost its beautiful healthy sheen, or as her eyes lost the light and life they once held.
And they most certainly didn't have to feel her sickness slowly take her like he had with their bond. Slowly torturing him.
They knew nothing.
What gave them the right to ask him to let go of the one thing he loved the most in this world? To let go of the one person who completed him and loved him with her last dying breath?
Nothing.
So what right did they have to tell him to let go of her? To leave her all alone in that grave without him there to chase away the nightmares she always still suffered from when she was left by herself at night, dreaming of Acnoliga and Zeref killing them in the Alvarez Battle, of Natsu loosing himself to E.N.D, of Aquarius' sacrifice. To take him away from her when they knew Lucy hated not having anyone with her, was beyond cruel of them to do.
"No! Let me go! You don't understand! I have to get back to her! Lucy needs me! She needs me to chase away the nightmares! She doesn't like being alone! Let me go damnit!"
"Laxus! That is enough, my boy! I know you miss her, but Lucy is gone. You must let her go. This isn't healthy, my son! Just listen to yourself! You speak as if she's still here, but she's gone, Laxus, she's gone. Please, you must accept that Lucy is dead and let her go."
Laxus snarled as he tried throwing Bixslow off of him, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get free. His strength had begun slowly waning with each passing day, his own body growing weaker with her death, made worse by his neglect for himself, impeding him from fighting his way back to her. He couldn't even muster the meager power needed to rewrite Freed's runes.
Unable to go back to the cemetery, Laxus chose to remain in their bed staring at the wedding picture Lucy had placed on their nightstand, eventually taking it to hold close to his chest.
"You must accept her death, Laxus. No one is telling you to forget about Lucy, but the way you've been speaking, as if she is still here with us, it isn't healthy. Do you think she'd want this? To see you loose yourself? Wouldn't she want you to remain strong and move on? I'm certain if she were to see you now, she would be most disappointed. She wouldn't want you to die like this, like she did. She'd want you to live life to the fullest for her. Please, Laxus... let her rest." And with those parting words his grandfather left.
But his words went ignored.
Food was pushed away, his appetite nonexistent, scaring his family because he was usually alway hungry. Yet, hunger no longer seemed to be a problem for him anymore. He just could find the will to eat, wishing that it were Lucy's cooking instead of Mirajane's.
Sleep did not come to him, always escaping, but that was fine with him because this way he couldn't dream of her dying or crying in her grave for him to come for her, screaming that he had abandoned her to rot in solitude. Instead, he passed the time by remembering her and her beautiful smile, caressing her pictures smiling face.
The pleas of his family fell to deaf ears, having long grown silent to him. The only sounds he could hear these days were from that of memories, a weak but happy smile always gracing his lips when he recalled her laughter.
Days continued to blur, the Lucy of his memories his only company now, the others only staying for a short while, unable to watch him waste away like he had her, and Laxus found he was growing tired with each day that passed. His dragon's wailing had finally stopped, not even a whimper to be heard. Sleep continued to evade him, a small nagging sensation at the back of his head always stopping him from closing his eyes and giving in. Something always telling him it wasn't time, that he couldn't fall asleep yet.
And it was during one of these days, as his eyes finally closed, that the nagging sensation almost violently jerked him awake, his eyes snapping wide open.
It was then that he knew, as he stared up into beautiful honey colored eyes, full pink lips pulled into that beautiful smile he loved so much, why sleep had evaded him so much.
It was time, he thought as he reached for her outstretched hand, the numbness within his fingers leaving, warmth replaced it as his hand engulfed her smaller one.
Dazed, unable to believe his eyes, he allowed her to pull him out of bed and out the bedroom door- Freed having disabled his runes once he realized Laxus could not get up even if he wanted too, focused solely on her beautiful face as they reached the outside.
And for the first time in weeks, the beauty and color of the world didn't offend him. No, if anything, it delighted him as it seemed to make her that much more beautiful in his eyes. Her laughter tinkled through the tress, his own mingling together with hers, as she led him further into the forest.
Strength once more graced his body as he danced with her through the flowers and trees, holding her, kissing her. All his attention was focused solely on her.
The guild was in panic.
Freed had gone to give Laxus his food, hopping that today would finally be the day he would regain his appetite and eat something, only to find that his leader was gone. Dropping the tray of food and water on the floor in a panic, Freed ran back to the guild, unable to understand how Laxus had found the strength to up and leave the bed. Not when the man couldn't even lift his head up.
With Natsu's keen nose they were able to forgo search parties, instead following the pink haired Slayer as he shoot out the guild like a bullet, their destination soon clear to Freed the closer they got.
Breaking through the tree line they ran towards where Lucy was buried, coming to an abrupt stop.
There Laxus sat, body leaning heavily against her headstone, a large smile gracing his peaceful face, their wedding picture still clutched firmly in his hands, still and pale as the stone he leaned against.
And just as they had with Lucy, they mourned the death of their would be future guild master just as hard, most especially his grandfather, who not only lost his favored daughter, but so too his grandson, the child he had raised as his own.
But it brought to them some comfort knowing that he would no longer be suffering all alone without Lucy as they burried him beside her the next day, knowing that they were together in the afterlife now, living the life they would have had, had Lucy's life not been taken by illness.
I have no clue how to end this, so its ending like that. Could have flowed better, but whatever.
