Whenever I can, I dance. It may seem girly, or weird, but I honestly love to. As odd as it is for a girl like me to do this, I dance ballet. I do it alone, unless in front of my old ballet coach, Arduino. He was very nice to me, and talked to me, even if I rarely said anything to him. He taught me all through my grade 3 to 9 years. But last year, he died in a car crash.
So now I'm on my own with it. I used to train at a recital hall in San Marino. But now that I live at the Varia base, I can't go there, or even practice that often. I hate it, because my legs are getting really stiff, and my right arm is getting itchy; those are signs that mean I need to dance. Not just want to; need to. It's become an addiction, more than a hobby. So, with all these boys around, I've done it once or twice, at midnight... in my room; which is really cramped so I can't do much, and that sucks. But I can't complain.
I'm glad to be alive.
Xanxus was out with Levi and Squalo. Marmon and Lussuria were getting groceries and Bel was asleep. Perfect. Since Xanxus is one of the best big brother's ever, he let be go back to San Marino and get some of my stuff to bring over; that included my ballet slippers and skates. A ballet outfit was brought along to, even if those were all hidden from Xanxus.
But now that everyone's out or asleep, I can dance! Finally! I moved the island out of the kitchen so the wood floor is perfect for practicing. And, although it's odd, there is a really large kitchen and living room space, and it all has wooden floors. So when I moved the chairs and island and area carpet and everything out of the way, there was a large enough space to do my routine.
I smiled to myself as I carefully tied up my ballet shoes. It felt good to have my Pointe shoes on again; though the block felt a little odd to have stick against my foot again. It'd been to long since I'd felt that soft fabric around my foot and ankle. I slowly stood to my feet and walked into the kitchen. I pressed play on the CD player as the beginning cords to Volevo Solo Dirti played. I slowly moved my foot to the fourth position and my arms to the third position.
I took in a deep breath and began to move. Swiftly, softly across the floor, one step, one beat at a time. My toes pointed as I spun a few times. Listening to his voice, I closed my eyes, ignoring all the obstacles to my sides. I stretched out my arms. As I turned into a jump, the music got to me, and I forgot all about my routine. I started dancing, just to the music, forgetting all the steps Arduino had make me practice day after day. I ignored the feeling of being closed in as I spun in circles.
Dancing made me forget. It always had. It made me forget about what was going on. It made me forget my surroundings and the fact that anyone was watching me. So, I forgot about Xanxus, and Mother and Father and the Varia and the chairs only to my right and just let the music move me. It wasn't hard. All the famous ballet critics that had seen me had called me amazing, and all I could say was, 'Thank the musicians.' Nothing made me want to dance more than great music. Piano, Violin, Guitar; the interment didn't matter. It was the way it was played. The way it was soft and smooth, like a creek or a river. Flowing, flowing, over the rocks and tree branches. Bringing everything fallen along with it. It still had its limitations though. The ground on either side of it;; the hard packed earth that was slowly being eroded was it's limitations. But, like ballet, those limitations are always being pushed farther away, the expanse growing wider. There will always be limitations, but they grow and grow, father, until it seems as if they aren't even there.
But like any river, there has to be rain. An ocean can't become an ocean without other sources of water. The encouragement needed to keep going is high. Ballet is hard; let no one tell you otherwise. It takes practice; a whole lot. But that doesn't mean it can't be done. It took me years to get over all the people trying to defeat me, and push me down. Like a dam holds water back, they held me back. It was hard to overcome, but I broke through them and let me movement flow with grace. I haven't been pushed down since. And if I have been, they haven't told me to my face. They know better than to do that.
I hadn't realised that the song had changed into Mozart's Violin Concerto No. 5 in A, 2nd Movement. When the song was over, I was panting. My black Pointe shoes had already gotten back into shape after being unused for about a month. My crimson shorts and top didn't look to sweaty. Even if they were, I'm used to it.
That's when I heard clapping. A loud clapping coming from a single pair of hands; I froze. Had someone been watching me? I let out a breath; I'd gotten close enough to the Varia that they couldn't be to hard on me for dancing like that. I slowly, ever so slowly turned around to see Bel smiling softly at me. I could see his right eye looking at me from between his bangs. I blushed, looking down at my feet and clenching my hands.
"Um... I... Um..." I helplessly tried to think of an excuse with no such luck.
"Beautiful Princess. You were beautiful." He said, pushing off of the wall he was leaning on.
I clasped my hands together behind my back, "Um... Thanks."
"Ushishishi. Don't look so nervous Princess. I won't tell. How'd you learn to do that?" He asked, coming over to me.
"Um... Arduino taught me. He was my ballet coach." I say, taking in a deep breath and letting it out again.
"Ushishishi. Amazing. You seem like you were born to do things like that." Bel said, smiling at me.
I looked up at him, smirking and lifting an eyebrow, "You think?"
"Yep." He said as his smile got bigger.
I'd gotten to know Bel the most over the month that I've stayed here. I'm kinda surprised he hasn't seen me dance yet. But we've learned a lot about each other, since we're so close in age. I told him about my fear of thunderstorms and how I love Italian love songs. He's told me about how many people he's killed, the sculpture's he's carved in his spare time and the fact that he writes. I've never been in his room, but apparently he has a wall with quotes stuck to it. Not just quotes; small poems that he finds anywhere. Some he makes himself. He read me one once and I loved it. He had called it My Angel and I remember I had thought it was so cute. What was it again? Oh, right:
My angel, My demon
My only reason for leaving
And I'm done with grieving
& being sad because it's hard
It's hard to keep going
When it's a sharp secret you're keeping
But I'm the one who's leaping
Across this canyon of fear
Now, it's your turn to fly
My angel, please don't cry
We all have a time to die
Soar, it's not your time
It's time to learn about you
My demon, you have more than a few
Special talents that make you so new
Not like anyone I've ever seen
Now, it's your turn to fly,
My angel you know you can't lie
So don't even try
I can see right through you
My demon, My everything
Open your mouth and sing
You be the queen and I'll be the king
And I'll save you from yourself
I honestly think that is totally adorable. So I got him to write me a copy and I set it in my night side table drawer. I like to think that Bel's right there beside me and I can keep him close.
"So, was that a routine or just spontaneous?" Bel asked, getting eggs out of the fridge.
"I-it started as a routine but I kinda got out of hand and strayed from what I was supposed to do." I said, smiling nervously as I rubbed the back of my neck.
"Ushishishi. Calm down. I'm not going to laugh at you or anything." Bel said, grinning as he got out a block of cheddar cheese. "Wanna help me with this?"
"Oh, sure." I say, moving into the kitchen and getting out a frying pan.
"What was the second song you danced to?" Bel asked.
The questions just keep coming.
"It was Mozart's Violin Concerto No. 5 in A, 2nd Movement." I said, turning the stove on and putting the pan on an element.
Bel put some butter in the pan, "Ushishishi. Interesting; I didn't think you'd be into classical."
"Well, it's ballet. You don't dance ballet to rock or metal." I say, cracking an egg onto the frying pan.
"Can you do it to Italian love songs?" He said, snickering.
"The first song I danced to was an Italian love song. You must've not seen me during that part." I said as Bel started chopping peppers.
"I guess not." Bel said, grinning, "But listen Princess. Will you dance for me?"
I froze, not sure what to say, "Uh... um.... D-dance?"
"Sure! Why not?" Bel smirked, "Are you to scared to dance in front of me?"
"No I'm not!" I hissed, turning my head and glaring at him. He knew I hated it when people thought I was scared of things.
"Then dance for me. The violin piece." He said, still smirking.
"Fine." I huffed, "Then let me stretch. I hadn't done it before so I should do it now."
"Alright Princess." Bel said, taking over the stove.
When Bel started calling me Princess, I don't really know. He just started one day and it stuck. Xanxus took notice one day and almost beat the crap out of Bel. Until I walked in and told them both to shut up and get their lazy asses to bed. Hey. I was tired and I hated it when people kept me awake. I've gotten used to it really. I think it's cute.
Once he was done making his omelette, he turned one of the chairs around to look at my 'stage'. I nervously turned on my CD player again played the second song instead of the first. I got into first position with my feet and second position with my arms. As the violin started playing, I began to sway, my feet started moving and my arms took delicate strokes across the air. I forgot Bel was watching me as I moved gracefully from position to position. I spun a few times, then leapt into the air, landing on my toes. I let my body move on its own, taking the body of the music and letting it move me. But this time, I did the routine, out of habit? I don't really know. I just did.
When the violin let out its last few notes, I let my limps go limp and I stood, panting with my eyes closed, feet in second position and arms in first position. Bel started clapping and I opened my eyes. He was grinning. I blushed, "Don't clap. It makes me feel self-conscious."
"How? You've preformed in front of thousands haven't you?" Bel asked, digging his fork into a piece of his omelette.
"Yes, but I practically ran off stage afterwards. Well, I bowed, and then I ran off stage."
Bel laughed, "Cute Princess! Very Cute!"
I glared at him, "Oh shut up will you?"
"Voooiii!! That was boring!" Squalo said, slamming open the front door.
I gasped outwardly, running out of the room and dashing into my room. I slammed the door closed and opened my eyes widely.
"Bel? What the hell did you do with all the chairs?" Xanxus sounded annoyed.
"Um... I didn't move them..." Bel said; I could tell his mouth was full of omelette.
Nice ratting me out Bel. Ass.
"Then who the hell did move them?" Xanxus asked, not buying his act.
"Princess. Ushishishi. She danced for me." I could tell Bel was grinning.
"What kind of dance?!" Xanxus' voice was getting louder, "What did you do to her you pervert?!"
Wow, you jump to conclusions Xanxus. It wasn't a lap dance.
"Nothing! I got up and she was dancing around on the...stage.... and then I made breakfast and asked her to dance for me and she did!" Bel said.
"Why would anyone dance for you...?" Squalo snapped, obviously pissed off by something.
"Ushishishi. Because they don't want to dance for you." Bel said.
"Vooii!! Shut up you little brat!"
"What kind of dance was she doing for you?" Xanxus said, still angry at Bel.
"Play the CD. Second track. I think you can guess." Bel said, "Ushishishi."
Screw you Bel. You suck!
I think it was Levi who played the track. When the violin started playing, everyone stopped moving.
"Ballet?!" Xanxus yelled at last, after about 30 seconds.
"Yep. She's really good too. Really smooth and swift." Bel said, "I wonder what she's like in other types of dancing."
"Get your head out of the gutter Bel." Xanxus hissed, "Not with my sister."
"Ushishishi."
Someone softly knocked on the door, "Violetta? Can I come in?"
The door opened slightly and I fell to the floor. I looked up at Xanxus who was looking down at me. It had to look weird. I was wearing a tight pair of shorts and a shirt that... showed my curves and I had black Pointe shoes on. I screamed out of embarrassment, "Get out of my room!"
I started smacking his legs, franticly trying to get his eyes off me. I pushed him away roughly and slammed the door closed again, locking it this time.
"Bel! I hate you!" I yelled.
"Ushishishi." Bel snickered, "I love you too Princess."
"Since when did you do ballet?" Xanxus asked from the other side of the door.
"Since forever! But it doesn't matter anymore!" I yelled, my face still red from panic.
"What do you mean it doesn't matter?" Xanxus asked.
"I... I'm never going to dance again!" I yelled, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. I rapidly started undoing my shoes as tears sprouted out of the corners of my eyes.
I heard a plate fall to the floor and someone stomping towards the door. A rustling at the door and a small click was heard before my door swung open and Bel came in angrily.
"Don't you even think about it!" Bel yelled,
"It's not your choice Bel!" I say, throwing both my slippers at the wall. I cover my face with my hands, not wanting to look at him.
"Shut up!" Bell yelled at me as moved from the back of me to the front. He bent down and grabbed my hands away from my face.. "Look at me."
"No..." I whimper. My eyes are tightly shut but the tears keep flowing.
"Look at me!" Bel says sternly.
I slowly lift my head and open my eyes to look at him. I can see his left eye from behind his bangs. They look serious. More serious than I've ever seen them before.
"Don't you ever do that! To many things have been taken away from you and now you're just going to give something up that makes you feel amazing up? Why?"
"You know why?" I argue back.
"Well, that's a stupid reason!" Bel's eyes turn slightly angry, "You love to dance, even if I've only see you twice, I can tell. You are not going to give this up!"
"Says who?"
"Says me!" Yeah, he's angry, "You've had everything taken from you! You have two things to live for; Xanxus and dancing. You're not going to give either one of those up. I wont let you; Xanxus wont let you. God, You idiot! Why would you do something so freaking stupid?"
I look away from him, my eyes moving to the floor, "Because a river needs rain to keep flowing."
"I'll be your rain! We all will!" Suddenly, his mood softens, "You just have to let us."
You can always see... right through me.
***
The sun was in my eyes. It was bright and blinding. I couldn't look away though. I just kept staring at it. Until it moved, to my left, and I followed it. I started chasing after the bright ball of light, wherever it went. Over a creek, past a forest; it suddenly ran into a blank area. It suddenly went down. I followed, accidently running off a cliff. The ball of light was calling out to me.
"Violetta." The light called, "Violetta!"
"What is it?" I asked.
"Princess..." The light turning into a figure; it was Bel. "Princess. Dance for me."
"Dance..." Was all I could say before I fell into a river at the bottom of the canyon.
As the water surrounded me, I gasped, trying to reach out to Bel, but he was gone.
***
I screamed, loudly.
"Violetta?"
I was panting uncontrollably, as I looked over to the door where Xanxus stood.
"Violetta, it's okay. It was just a dream." Xanxus said, coming over and sitting on my bed.
I was still panting as he wrapped his arms around me. I reached out and clung to him. He pulled me into his lap, petting my head softly.
"You'll be alright." He said, "It was just a dream."
"Is all that we see or seem, but a dream within a dream?" I say, looking up to Xanxus. "Why am I here?"
"Because this is where you belong." Xanxus pulls me closer and hugs me tightly, "Here in my arms."
I let out a breath and lean my head on his shoulder, "Thank you for caring."
"No, thank you for being here to care for. Thank you for being."
In his arms a fell asleep.
***
"Ushishishi. Alright, everyone's out." Bel said, sitting on a chair that I had moved to the side for my stage.
"Geez, Bel! Why do you always want me to dance for you?" I asked, pulling the ribbon on my Pointe shoe tight.
"I already told you; because it's beautiful, Princess. I love it when you dance for me. Ushishishi!" Bel grinned at me.
"You know, I think your laugh is getting to familiar to me." I grumbled, then set the CD player on track 3.
"Good. You've been here for... however long it's been and I'm just about the best friend you'll ever have, so if you haven't gotten used to my thinking, I think I'd rip you apart." Bel said, leaning his arm on the armchair and leaning his head on his palm. "What song will you be dancing to today, Princess?"
"Violin Concerto no. 5 in A major "Turkish"." I say, as I press play on the CD player and getting into third position with my feet and fourth position with my arms.
"Ushishishi. Interesting." Bel said, as I started to move, arching my arms and spinning.
I forgot Bel was watching me, just as I always did and let the music take control. I stray from my routine, flowing with the music. Soft and delicate, with only a few violins, then they grow and play different parts. Then it goes back to a few, with all the different parts, I play the main; a delicate, gentle soul with an urge for creating chaos, and getting into trouble. As the music gets slightly louder, I stray, running from the law and laughing as I back down street alleys. But suddenly, they grab my tale and bring me down. It's a chase. They're after me. I'm going to be trapped. I'm dodging all of the things in my way, and when I think I've lost them, they're right behind me. But I see some friends, and they come to rescue me. I'm almost save, until the police knock down the door and I'm running again. Suddenly I don't know where I am. I'm just running, running and when I finally lose them. I'm so lost and confused, I wander around the streets. Somehow finding my way back home, I'm back to causing chaos. Almost caught again, but they miss me and I continue to prank people happily.
The version on my CD cuts the song about a minute short. I'm stuck to my life of playing happily, like the violin, causing chaos around me.
As I open my eyes, Bel wraps his arms around my waist. I blushed, "What the hell, Bel?"
"Ushishishi. Dance with me." He said, taking my left hand into his right.
"You idiot." I said, blushing as the CD player went to track 4; Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Violin Concerto in D.
Bel started swaying, moving his feet back and forth. He led me softly, giving me gentle reminders of my position. After about a minute, I realised we were doing a waltz.
"I didn't know you knew ballroom dancing." I said, glaring up at him.
"Ushishishi. I'm a prince, of course I know how to do a waltz." Bel said, smiling down at me.
"Hmpf." I said, moving closer and leaning my head on his shoulder.
He brought me closer to him, still moving in the steps of a waltz.
"Princess?" Bel said, after a minute or two of us dancing so close.
"Yea...?" I said quietly, not wanting to disturb the magic of our dance.
"I think... This is our song." Bel said, his head leaning atop mine.
I smiled, "Yea... It is."
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