AN: Usual disclaimers apply, sorry for the delay, what with work, family and CoE to watch and digest it took longer than I expected. Next Chapter will be up sooner - thanks to all the reviews and story alerts. So far I'm thinking this will be about 11 chapters.


Ianto regained consciousness slowly, gently. He was warm, on some soft material. He felt the gentle pressure of another warm body on him. Their arm wrapped around his torso – snuffling warm breath tickled his ear.

At first he thought he was at home, in bed with Jack. His senses told him this wasn't the case. The weight of the arm wasn't heavy enough. It didn't smell like his room, it didn't feel like his bed. He decided the time had come to open his eyes.

Nope, that wasn't right – it was still dark. He could feel sunlight on his body so it must be daytime. He closed his eyes again and listened to his body. He could feel all his limbs, and there were no aches and pains as such, but there was a strange feeling in his back. His pulse was normal, no headache, not feeling hungry or thirsty. He felt a breeze over his skin, nearly all of it, so he was very naked.

Right – let's try this opening eyes thing again. He opened his eyes as wide as possible.

No – still dark. A tickle of doubt settled in his stomach. Something wasn't right – perhaps even dreadfully wrong.

He began to feel his arm become numb under the weight of his slumbering companion. Again Ianto closed his eyes and listened; this time to the person next to him. There was the faintly scratchy feeling of fabric against his skin. He felt the mound of a breast against his ribs – so definitely not Jack. His nostrils flared as he took in the scent of the female (he hoped!) – light sweat and Chanel No 5 – the combined smell was familiar to him. Just then his companion made a whickering snuffle in his ear.

Ianto grinned in relief as he realised... Gwen! Thank god – it was Gwen. He'd heard her make that noise many a time as she caught up on a broken nights' sleep on the sofa in the Hub.

"Gwen! Gwen! Wake up; you're giving me a dead arm."

Gwen rolled off him, but started to kick him, gently muttering "Tea, Tea, Rhys pet."

"GWEN!" hissed Ianto urgently. Given the circumstances he didn't want to raise his voice too much but he had to wake her up.

He didn't know why he was blind and certainly didn't know how he and Gwen were asleep together. It can't have been one of the Torchwood tequila fuelled Karaoke nights; the next wasn't due for at least a week. Though over indulgence on rot-gut tequila might explain the blindness...

Gwen surfaced from her restful sleep shocked to hear Ianto's voice so close to her ear. Her eyes snapped open and she found herself staring at a cliff face.

"ughnhn" she grunted, still shaking of the last of her sleep. She flipped onto her back and looked at the sky. The sky with not one, but two shining suns. For an instant she was intrigued by the difference between the two – a large, pale one and a small, red one. The realisation that she was no longer on Earth kicked that thought out pretty quickly. She snapped to and bolted to her feet. "Bloody Hell!"

Again Ianto called out to her, but if she heard him, she was too busy taking in her surroundings. She was standing in a bird's nest, a very large, human sized bird's nest. She shuddered at the thought of the size of bird that would roost here.

The nest was made from branches, twigs and downy material and somehow attached to the cliff face. It overlooked a maze carved into the red rock, and in the distance a glass city perched on a mountain top. In the few seconds it took for her to appraise her surroundings, Ianto began flailing around until he found her. Clutching her ankle he loudly called her name.

She looked down at her colleague and her eyes goggled, her mind boggled. At her feet lay Ianto; clad in nothing more than a loincloth. His head was weaving around as if trying to see her.

"Ianto!" she gasped "Oh my god." His head fastened in her direction as she spoke, but as she looked she could see his normally expressive blue eyes were soft and not focussed on her face.

"Gwen, I can't see" gulped Ianto. "I open my eyes and it's all dark still. What's going on? Can you see?" As he talked, more and more of the shock surfaced in his voice.

"Ianto, oh Ianto" she murmured as she fell to her knees. "I can see sweetheart. Don't worry." She wanted to give him a reassuring pat but there was too much to take in.

"Well, where the hell are we? What can you see" he demanded, reining in his fear.

Gwen took another look round, absorbing more detail. "Don't want to disturb you, but we're not on Earth – two suns, you see..." She cringed as she said the words, forgetting that the troubled man couldn't.

She flustered on "We're in a ruddy big bird's nest, attached to a cliff. There's some kind of maze below and a city above. I can see people moving through the maze and what looks like a dodgy looking space ship. The sunlight is glinting off the city, so I'm assuming is glass or something."

Gwen's words nagged at Ianto; there was something familiar about her descriptions. So damn familiar... A couple of pennies dropped...

"Gwen....?" his voice was full of wonder. "Can you tell me what you're wearing?"

"What I'm wearing?!?!" Gwen hadn't even thought to look – she tilted her head and looked at her body. "Bloody Hell" she sang out. "I'm wearing, if you can believe it and I'm doubting, thigh high silver boots, there's a power pack attached to one, and some kind of blaster tucked into the other. I'm wearing some kind of sliver leotard body stocking thing too. Oh, and a bracelet, wristlet which looks like a translator/power indicator.

Ianto nodded another penny dropping. "And your hair?"

"My hair?!?!" She reached up and grabbed a handful, pulling it forward. "I'm a blonde – an honest to goodness blonde."

"And me, what about me?" The pennies were dropping thick and fast now, he already knew what her answer would be.

"Well love, you're tanned, hairless, a dinky loincloth and you've gone blonde too!"

Ianto nodded again, feeling much calmer as he began to understand. "I'm going to stand up now, but you have to promise to stay calm. You may see something that'll surprise you, shock you even."

"C'mon Ianto, it's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

"Gwen!" snapped Ianto "Focus!"

He'd worked out what that strange feeling on his back was. He raised himself up on his elbows and levered himself upright. As he did so he could hear her spluttering and gasping. Once on his feet he heard her begin to laugh, a shade hysterically.

"Oh Ianto, I'm always calling you an angel, and now it's come true."

Ianto pulled on muscles he'd never had before and extended his wings. Gwen took in the sight of him. He must have a 16 foot wingspan. It was amazing and as sexy as hell, but because it was Ianto there was a touch of vulnerability to the sight. "Jack's gonna LOVE this!" she thought, with that, she realised that there was no sign of the others.

"Where's Jack?" cried Gwen in alarm.

"I'm sure he'll be having fun somewhere" answered Ianto darkly.

"What's happened to us? What are we going to do? Where are we? Where are the others?" this time around Gwen was beginning to panic.

Ianto folded his wings behind him, and reached for Gwen, his hands fumbled and grabbed her upper arms. "Shhh... I've got an idea of what's going on" he reassured her.

Gwen took a step forward and let herself be comforted by the man. He'd come a long way since she'd first met him. She caught a glimpse of his wings over his shoulder and chuckled. The chuckle became a sob as her shock took hold. Ianto gave her a strong hug and looking sightlessly over her head, he began to speak.

"You know the 80s pop group Duran Duran?"

"Yes, but I can't see how that's relevant..."

"Shut up and listen Gwen. You know Jane Fonda, right?"

"Yes, she does those ads for the face cream"

"I hate to say it, but I think we're in one of her movies."

"What! You're joking, aren't you? Don't kid with me Ianto, not right now. That's not possible. It can't be "

"I know it sounds impossible but honestly Gwen, based on the evidence that's the best guess I can make. You got any ideas?"

Gwen struggled to think, there was nothing she could observe or explain. The book must be the cause, but working for Torchwood meant that you had to shoehorn your mind into some impossible concepts.

"No... Ianto, I can't believe that we're in a film – which one?"

"Barbarella, 1968. Filmed in France and directed by her then husband Roger Vadim. Panned on release but it's now seen as a bit of a cult classic. Based on a comic strip."

"How do you know all this?"

"I'd love to say I know everything..." Ianto grinned ruefully. "Jack and I watched the movie a couple of weeks ago. It's set in the 40th century - I thought he'd enjoy it, and I thought he could confirm or deny how true it is to the real thing. It's a sex romp so of course he enjoyed it, he found it funny too. He said that they had no record of the movie and that it wasn't that far off the truth. I shudder to think."

"What do you mean... sex-romp?" Gwen was slightly disturbed.

"Right, right" Ianto reassured her. "Barbarella, that's you, is a space detective looking for a man called Duran Duran. She arrives on the planet SoGo. Meets lots of men, has sex with them, meets and defeats the baddies. I'm Pygar, the last of the ornithanthropes. Based on where we are and what you're wearing, we just had sex and you've given me back my confidence to fly."

Gwen began to laugh out loud at the thought of her and Ianto having sex, laughed at the whole idea of it.

"You've got to calm yourself Gwen. I need your help; I've never been blind before. I don't know what to do. I'm going to have to depend on you. Yes, this may be mad, it may be impossible, but right here, right now, it's real for us. We have to find out what's happened. We have to find Jack and the others."

Gwen's laughter tailed off as she took in his words. It was at once ridiculous and serious.

"We can only assume that the others are in the same situation" she suggested. "We have to find them."

"We have to get out of here Gwen – we can't get caught up in the story" he paused and grinned "We have to lose the plot"

Gwen barked out a laugh and then whirled round as an energy beam hit the cliff face – a close one; she had felt the heat on her cheek.

"Ianto, we've being fired at... Think! What's happening?"

"It's the leathermen, and get that smirk off your face, the only way is up. I have to fly us both out of here. You'll have to shoot and be my eyes."

Gwen reached for the blaster pistol as Ianto scooped her into his arms, unfolding his wings.

"This is so weird" he thought as he began flapping. Nothing happened. He made his wings beat harder and felt himself to lift off the ground in fits and starts. "First time for everything" he thought, beginning to get a feel for flying. He jiggled Gwen in his arms, to bring her closer to his centre of gravity.

"Ianto? Where are your hands?" Gwen huffed, focussed on firing back at the bizarre leatherclad figures.

"Oh, sorry, I had to shift you about, or we'll not take off. That better?"

"Much" she was firing hard.

"I need you to tell me where to fly when we get going."

Ianto's wings took the strain and they began to get some lift.

"I'll have to find a thermal to get more height, at least out of blaster range, but I can't carry you for long."

Gwen marvelled at Ianto's practicality in the face of the bizarre situation, but was soon distracted by another pot shot. She raised the blaster, returning fire.

As the two Torchwood operatives went higher and higher they were unaware that they were being observed. A mysterious figure chuckled and turned a page.


AN: Did you like, loathe, love this? Concrit is warmly courted. Please contact me with any combinations of TW characters and fiction books/films/tv shows you fancy... like Mr Jones, I aim to please.