My mother always told me I was a kicker. When I was in her womb, I would always kick her and my Father would always talk to me, telling me to be a little less reckless. Even after I was born, I would always fidget in my crib, and kick at the wooden poles that surrounded me. During ballet, I would be the one who was chosen to demonstrate a move because of my swift, high jumps and my flexibility. In Figure skating, my jumps and twists were always higher and more powerful than normal because of my strong legs.

But no matter what anyone told me, I would refuse to let them say I was my legs were my strongpoint. I had always thought was my graceful movements were my strongpoint. Without my movements, I wouldn't have such strong legs. My arms helping with balance and my graceful movements caused me to grow strong legs to support me.

I realised that there wasn't such a thing as I, just us. Every river needs some rain.

~~~

But all that was eight years ago. I'm 34 now and Celino is 7. He's just like his father, always causing trouble and picking fights with his friends. We can't control him to much, but at least we try. Our second is on the way and Xanxus is going to come over next week to visit his nephew.

It was funny, because when I was two months in, Xanxus finally noticed and asked what the hell was wrong with me. I started crying and told him everything, which was kind of funny, remembering his shocked reaction to it. He almost murdered Bel, but I kept sobbing and he let it go. He's been a big help though, since he helped pay for part of our house when we moved out of the Varia base. He refuses to let us pay him back too, which is nice, but slightly annoying.

Bel's gotten a job as a substitute math teacher a Celino's school, for grade 7's and 8's though, so he doesn't get to see Celino much. For some odd reason, the real math teacher has to go on leaves because of a medical condition, so Bel fills in for him most of the time. The kids have learned to love him, which is really nice, considering the things he's done in the past.

He still works for the Varia; he says he will until Xanxus dies or a new boss comes. I really don't get why he does that, but I guess I can't do anything about it. Lussuria, Levi, and Squalo come down every Saturday to play with Celino, so Bel and I can have a date or something. But I'm surprised how gentle they all are with him. They start acting like kids too, and Celino ends up calling them immature, even though, I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what that means.

Celino has his father's personality; devilish and slightly selfish. We're teaching him to share still, and be a bit gentler, which is starting to work. He has the same hair color as mine but his eyes look like Xanxus'; sharp and serious. Our boy is very talented too, since all his Uncle's know how to do things they pass on. Squalo taught him how to swim and Levi taught him loyalty, which I always thought was kind of creepy. Xanxus taught him how to hold a good poker face (bite down on your tongue until it hurts. The pain distracts you from whatever's going on) and Lussuria taught him how to be a ladies man. That last one seems horribly odd to me.

I can tell Bel is as happy as can be though. He's cut his hair so you can at least see part of his eyes and he comes home and hugs me grandly everyday. I can tell he's changed from his old, psychopath self and has finally matured into a man. He never pressures me into things and he tells me he loves me all the time. I honestly can't believe how much he's changed. He says it's all my fault (his sarcasm has never left him) but I say it's the kids. The kids he works with at school love him. They always take pictures with him at graduation (The saddest and happiest part of the year) and they thank him for making math fun.

Now, you may be wondering what I'm doing. I'm a dance instructor; how typical, huh? But at least it's not all ballet. The boys and girls I teach come from different genres- not just classical. So I started listening to all the different genre's when Celino was about 3. I've learned to love rock and pop as well as rap and music from places other than Italy. The kids in my dance class are amazing, always coming up with funny jokes to tell me or stories that they found on the internet.

Bel and I both love our jobs, even if we're surrounded by kids. Well, I'm off work for a while since I'm pregnant again. But Alessia, who is my replacement, comes over after every practice and gives me the cards and gifts the kids send me.

So many things have happened in 18 years. And I'm still kind of getting over all of it, but I know it will all be alright. I decided to believe that a long time ago. I remember a week after Xanxus took me in, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't stop believing that everything would turn out alright. And really, now that I think about it, if I hadn't made that promise, I'd be killing me to this very day. God, it would be eating me up from the inside, like Viper and Colonello's scars, or Bel's guilty confessions; but that's not going to happen.

I'm here and I'm now and nothing's ever going to turn out right, but that's okay because I have a family to support me and I know I'll be alright, even if the world isn't.