A/N: Ok so here's the first chapter! Hope you guys like it.

Disclaimer: We own nothing except for the plot line ideas!

CHAPTER 1

Edward POV

Carlisle can't explain these black outs other than post traumatic stress from the loss of my Bella. He said that I will have to face the facts that she is gone and move on. I see the pain in his eyes, I know he loved Bella too, it might not have been the same way I loved Bella, but he loved her like a daughter, she was part of the family, my family. I knew Carlisle was trying to help but I don't think there is anything or anyone who can help. I am a lonely soul with no place to go.

It has been a year since her death and it still felt like it was a dream/nightmare. This was not reality. People don't have what Bella and I had and have it taken away. We were happy and together and then it was suddenly and brutally ripped away. All because of what I am. I might not have done the actual killing, but it was my species, James the most deadly tracker known to vampires, that killed her and I couldn't bring her back.

Thinking back on that day I still wonder, if I had gotten there sooner would it have made a difference. I knew Bella was special, she was different from other humans but I could never have imagined that she would be immune to my venom. I was confident that it would save her, even though I did not want her to become a vampire. We had plans to go to college after we got married and then take a couple of years off and then if she still wanted it, I would change her but the venom failed, she was immune…

--

I didn't have to answer the phone to know what was happening. Alice was trying to warn me that James had out witted us and Bella was gone. How could I have been so naïve? This was always about the game, James was a tracker and Bella was his prey and I lead him right to her. Instinct kicked in and I started running, I was the fastest in the family and I knew the window of opportunity was closing. Alice's visions had a 30 minute delay from reality and I had to push myself like never before. I was going to save my Bella, if it was the last thing I did. Nothing else mattered but her. Alice had told me about the ballet studio on the corner of Locke and Main. The thought of James having his filthy hands on her, filled me with such rage, rage like a newborn, nothing was stopping me. As I approached the ballet studio, I heard Bella moan in agony; she was still alive.

Without thinking, I jumped through the window, glass shards and mirror pieces shot out like fireworks as I landed swiftly on my feet. Standing in a defensive crouch my eyes went directly to Bella on the floor, her still form not moving…..

"Edward, it is so very nice of you to join us." He hissed hovering over Bella's broken bloody body admiring his handiwork.

She was so bruised and her bones were contorted in such an unnatural way, sticking out like bare branches on a tree.

But Bella was still alive... Her heartbeat sang to me "Thump …Thump… Thump…." mesmerizing me like a rhythmic tribal beat... She was a fighter….

James caught me off guard, as he plowed into me with such force, knocking us both into the adjacent mirror. I have never met anyone as strong as James. Now he had me pinned up against the broken mirror, his grip tightening around my neck. Looking down I noticed that a metal shard from the casing around the mirrors was protruding out of my left side. Blood was pouring out like a raging waterfall. I didn't even feel it, I couldn't, not when Bella was in so much pain.

"You're faster than the others… but not stronger," James taunted. "You should have heard the way Bella was screaming for you…..begging for you to come save her. Doesn't it just break your little heart, Edward?"

As those words stung me I pushed with all my might and was able to shove James off me and fling him towards the door.

I ran over to Bella scooping her up in my arms and making my way to the back door. James was fast, faster than me and curling his hands around my shoulder, he yanked me away from the door with one mighty tug. I hit the ground at such force that Bella flew out of my arms, her head smacking against the wooden rails against the walls. I was beaten.

"How ironic, little Edward, I think you might have killed her," he said with a laugh.

James was hovering over me as he spat his last words before escaping through the door. "What a fun game, Edward, but don't be sad. You will find another toy, maybe one not as breakable, and then we can play again. I always keep my promises!"

I was making my way, sliding on my right side to be with my Bella. I still heard a faint heartbeat which meant I still had enough time to change her. My Bella and I were going to be together forever and I just needed to get to her. She was lying on the floor, gasping for air; she must have punctured her lung. Blood was spilling out of her but she was still fighting.

"Bella my love, I am so sorry I wasn't here fast enough. My love I have to ask you something and I need you to let me know if this is what you want." But I didn't even need to ask because she looked at me with those striking brown eyes.

"I'm ready," she coughed. "I'm ready to spend forever with you. I love you Edward. I'm so glad that it is you that will change me."

So many emotions were racing through me from pain to joy and from fear to longing. I told her I loved her too and that this was going to hurt, but that I would be beside her throughout the change. She was ready; I could see it in her eyes. It wasn't until that moment, I realized that she was right, we belonged together, and she and I would spend eternity in each others arms.

I could sense that my family was almost to the ballet studio, but I didn't have time to wait for Carlisle. I had to change Bella myself. I knew what I had to do. I had watched Carlisle change Esme and Emmett, but part of me wondered if I could be able to stop myself. But deep down I knew I could, she was Bella, my Bella and she needed me and that was enough for me to stop. I would have the strength.

I lifted her hand to my lips, locking my eyes on hers. I took a steadying breath and sunk my teeth into her flesh. I heard her gasp of pain, but her blood was flowing down into my mouth, tasting so sweet and warm; it was like nothing I had tasted before. Feeling it course through my veins, singing to me, my body wanting more, it took every ounce of strength I possessed to stop. I stopped just in time, still able to feel her pulse. Looking at her, I knew any minute she would feel the scorching fire from the venom and I would be there to talk her through it.

"Edward, I feel so weak," she moaned.

"Bella, love, do you feel the burning yet?"

"No, nothing, but the lights are starting to get really bright in here. They are hurting my eyes," she coughed, more blood coming out of her mouth.

Still nothing, what was happening?

"Edward!" a male voice shouted from behind.

"Carlisle help, something is wrong!" I cried.

Carlisle looked Bella over and assured me that I had done everything correctly. He went into doctor mode and began assessing her. Like I had thought, they were not good. She had lost too much blood. Her injuries were quite severe from the gash on her forehead, punctured lung, three cracked ribs, broken right leg and her arm was broken in two places.

"Edward," she whispered. "Please hold me in your arms, I want to feel you close to me," she whimpered faintly.

As I held her in my arms, humming her lullaby, I kissed her softly on the forehead and cheeks and down to her lips. She was slipping away, slipping into a forever that I would never go to. I did not have a soul like Bella did; she would make her way to heaven. "Bella, I love you, please don't leave me, I can't do this without you."

"Edward, you know I am not going to make it. Promise me Edward! Promise me that you will move on."

"Bella I can't, you're the only one for me, don't you see?"

"Edward, please!" she cried and I could see that every breath was a struggle for her, how could I make her suffer any more than she already was?

Looking at her, my beautiful Bella, I nodded my head in agreement. I could see in her eyes that she was minutes away. I cupped her face into my hands, looking into her warm, loving brown eyes, I told her I loved her and then kissed her on her soft lips. She was kissing me back passionately, knowing that she was using her last bit of energy to give me this, something to hold on to. I felt her gasp and her body let go fully into my lap. My Bella was gone.

--

Shaking my memory away, I saw something moving from the corner of my eye. Focusing, I noticed something or I should say someone coming towards me.

"I figured this is where you would be", Alice said

Of course Alice knew where I was, she was psychic. And even if she wasn't, everyone knew where I was, I was with my Bella or at least at her grave. I felt somehow close to her here, more memories filled in my mind, good memories of us. I can't explain it. But, I wasn't the only one who visited. Well, there was her family, Charlie (her dad) and Renee (her mother), but I only got upset when Jacob came by. I should have understood why Jacob would need to visit her, he did love her too but she didn't choose him, she chose me and yet he still came by every week to say the same Quiluette ritual speech and leave a tribal wolf charm. How many of those does he own, I wondered. Sweet, sweet Bella had enough love in her heart for both of us so I guess I will just have to endure it.

"We all miss her." Alice said. "When was the last time you hunted? You look awful," she said with worry in her eyes.

Come to think of it, I don't remember when the last time was that I hunted. It seemed like a blur. I didn't feel like anything. I was a monster and I wanted to die. Starve myself until there was nothing left.

"Edward!" her voice more stern, "Losing Bella was hard enough, did you want the family to suffer more by losing you. Your family needs you." But that last part she didn't say out loud, I read it through her thoughts.

That was my gift; I was able to read everyone's mind, apart from Bella. I was able to keep my family safe, being able to have the upper hand when a human came too close to knowing our secret. That is how we survived; we moved from place to place staying for a handful of years then vanishing without a trace. With Alice being able to see the future, and myself being able to read minds we always had the advantage. But we weren't the only ones in the family with a special gift, Jasper, Alice's mate, was able to calm a room with just his mind. He had used this on me a lot in the past year. I was a real mess right after it happened. If it weren't for the both of them I would have killed myself, but I had a responsibility to my family and I would suffer alone, just as I had before I met Bella.

"Let's go hunting," I said.

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Clary POV

When I came to I was exhausted and confused. How could Jace be my brother? Jace, the one who makes me feel so alive, the one whose kisses sent electric currents through my body, the one whose touch could make everything better. How could this be true? If I hadn't heard it from my own mother's mouth, I don't think I would have believed it. A wave of emotions went through me like a ton of bricks. My chest was heavy, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't speak, all I could do was stare, stare into my mothers eyes before I burst into tears. My life was over. I wanted to die.

My mother sat with me while I cried. I wouldn't speak, just cried, emptying my heart and soul onto the front of her shirt. She never pushed any conversations; we just sat on my bed with me in her arms. Don't get me wrong, I was happy that finally my mother was awake, that was the whole point of going to the City of Glass, but I never imagined what would happen when she finally woke up. Jace and I were at her bedside while Magnus performed the awakening spell. I was so nervous and excited at the same time. I missed my mothers voice, I missed her crazy antics but most of all I missed our time together. We were very close.

I assured my mother that nothing sexual went on between us; which by the sigh she let out when I told her, told me know that it was going to be fine. We would just distance ourselves from each other for a while.

I didn't see Jace for almost six months. He went back to stay with the Lightwoods and I stayed with my mom and Luke. We did talk on the phone, once a week and we came to an agreement that this was for the best and that we were siblings and time would help us through this. I started training with Luke and my mom in pursuit of becoming a well-seasoned Shadowhunter. With my powers in making new runes, it wouldn't be a waste. I didn't mind at all, it kept my mind busy. The training was intense but it seemed like my body was made for it. It almost came natural. At the end of each day, I was too physically exhausted to do much more than collapse in my bed. I surrounded myself with Isabelle and Simon on my time off from training. I asked how Jace was really doing, but Isabelle would only tell me he was fine and nothing more. I wanted to be responsible and rid myself of my feelings for Jace; I would do it for my family. I would suffer alone. I would not let anyone know how I felt. I knew in time I would overcome this and move on. I was strong.

One of my very rare days off found me lounging on the couch at Luke's house, my battered sketch book in my hand as I tried to distract myself from the thoughts that were plaguing me. I glanced down and realized that I had sketched a scene that I didn't recognize. It was a tall manor-like building that resembled a church, and was that a town square? I felt a strange pull to this place, but I only had time to wonder about it briefly as I heard by phone ringing in my jacket pocket and ran over to see who it was.

"Clary? It's me Simon. I thought that maybe we could go hangout at Magnus's bar tonight. Isabelle mentioned that both Jace and Alec were going and we thought that maybe we all could hang out, like old times?" he asked.

I decided that it was time I went back to living in the present world. If Jace felt it was ok and it didn't bother him, than I was ok with it too. Any normal sister should be able to hang out with her brother and not be weird, right? I told Simon that I would come, and he said that he would pick me up at 10:00 pm.

Suddenly I felt like I was going to throw up. I was finally going to see Jace. I was starting to get used to only hearing his voice, and now I was going to come face to face with him. My body felt numb but I was also excited. What if I could have a normal relationship with him? As I sat on my bed thinking about our final reunion, my cell phone was again making a familiar sound.

"Hello?" I answered.

The line was silent and I repeated my hello and still nothing. I looked at the caller ID and all it said was "private name".

"If you not going to say anything I am going to hang up," I shouted. Still nothing, so shrugging, I hung up the phone.

Sure enough, as soon as I hung up, the phone rang again. Glancing at the ID again told me it was the same "private name" so I picked up the phone on the second ring and shouted.

"Listen creep, I have more important things to do then listen to dead air," and then I hung up the phone immediately. Feeling good about myself, I jumped up and started making my way to the washroom to take a shower. Already I was running through my wardrobe choices, as I knew that Isabelle would be on hand to critique my selections.

Again, my phone started ringing, and again it read "private name". I picked up the phone and was about to shout something when I heard his husky voice.

"Clary, are you still there?" Jace said.

It was Jace. A million things went through my head. Jace was never nervous in talking with me. In fact he was usually really straightforward and blunt. What made this time so different? Was he thinking about tonight too? Was he worried? My stomach was fluttering and my heart was thumping at an increased rate. I wasn't sure what to say next. I placed my back against the wall and slid down until I reached the floor.

"Clary?" he questioned.

"Yes...hmm…sorry Jace, is everything ok?" was all I could come up with. I worried that my voice was shaky but I had to put that in the back of my mind. Jace had called and there seemed to be something up.

"Sorry I was having phone trouble; I guess you couldn't hear me," was his reply.

Of course Jace wouldn't be nervous. Why can't I just get over this? This is so stupid. Why did he have such a hold over me?

"Clary," he said calmingly, "I was just talking with Isabelle and she said that you were going to come and join us at Magnus's bar. I think that it is a great idea. I miss hanging out with you."

Hearing him say those words made my heart skip a beat, and it took a great effort for me not to give a triumphant shout out loud. I took a deep breath. "Absolutely Jace, I've missed you too," I replied hoping that my voice sounded strong and confident. After making the final plans to meet up at the bar, I ended the call and spent a few minutes trying to sort out my conflicting emotions. A part of me was reveling in the anticipation of the fact that I would be seeing Jace in less than an hour. The other part of me was screaming that my reactions were wrong, he was my brother and I needed to ignore the feelings of thrill that arised when I thought of him.

After spending considerable time debating what to wear, I finally settled on a casual pair of jeans and black tank top. Paired with a pair of ballet flats and a fitted black jacket, I was satisfied. I left my red curls loose around my shoulders and tried to tell myself that I wasn't doing it because I knew that it was the way that Jace preferred to see them. Summer still held the city in its clutches, making the choice of a jacket not the most sensible one, but I needed the pockets it provided to conceal my seraph blade and dagger. I told myself over and over that no prepared Shadowhunter could leave the house without weapons. Especially since we were heading to a favourite haunt of Magnus's and there was sure to be Downworlder's in residence.

With nothing left to do while I waited for Simon to arrive, I sat down on my bed to once again study the sketch that I had drawn earlier. I was still unable to explain the pull I felt towards a place that I had never seen before. I found myself wondering if I had visited it before but still hadn't retrieved the memory of it from when my mother had had Magnus Bane put a block on my memories. I made a mental note to ask her about it, and set the sketch aside. Hearing sounds from the kitchen, I quickly closed my bedroom door and went to investigate.

Simon had arrived, with Isabelle in tow. I raised my eyebrows at this; they certainly seemed to be spending more and more time together. I would have to grill him about that later. She was currently giving him a lecture on proper attire, causing Simon and I to do simultaneous eye rolls.

"I've been trying to tell him that now that he's a vampire, he needs to dress more the part. Enough with those lame band t-shirts-" she was saying, only to be cut off by Luke's shout of laughter.

"Lame band t-shirts are part of who Simon is, Isabelle," I said, giving her a reproachful look. Luke had walked over to Simon and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Not anymore!" she argued, "He's one of the Night Children now, the possibilities are endless. He should-" she was again cut off, this time by the entrance of my mother. She sent a sympathetic look to Simon before coming to stand beside me. It was still a shock to my system to see her up and walking around. She seemed to be scanning the room.

"Jace didn't come with you?" She asked, sounding disappointed. Her question was a snap back into reality for me. Jace, her son, my brother. "We are meeting him," I replied, my tone a little sharper than I had intended. I headed quickly for the door, my Shadowhunter speed coming in handy. Simon and Isabelle followed hastily in my wake.

The walk to the bar had been uneventful with Simon and Isabelle making senseless small talk ahead of me. I followed along listening to the click of Isabelle's heels on the pavement, it was always a wonder to me how she was able to walk such distances in such ridiculous shoes. Her whip was coiled around her wrist catching in the moonlight, and the flowing gold dress she wore sparkled in the streetlights drawing more than one admiring eye towards her, which I'm sure was her intention. Isabelle was nothing if not a creature of habit. I listened to their chatter with half an ear as I was lost mentally preparing myself to come face to face with Jace.

When we were about a block away from the bar, we passed another group of people. I found my eyes drawn and locked with a boy with eyes the most startling colour of blue. His gaze held mine for what must have only been seconds, but it was enough to unnerve me. Although there was more than enough room on the sidewalk for all of us, his arm brushed mine as we passed. I must have made a small gasp, because Simon suddenly fell back to walk beside me.

"Everything alright Clary?" he asked, glancing behind us at the retreating group. "Yes, I'm fine," I answered as we quickened our pace to catch up with the long-legged Isabelle. Things may not have worked out romantically for Simon and I, but we had been best friends for as long as I could remember and I knew that he would always be there for me no matter what the situation.

"Will Maia be there tonight?" I asked, looking up into his familiar brown eyes. "You better hope she's not there with her pack," Isabelle put in before Simon had a chance to answer. I looked at her quizzically before she continued. "Jace was spoiling for a fight earlier tonight and I wouldn't put it past him to be looking for some mischief to get into," she explained. Great, I thought, the last time Jace was in that sort of mood he had caused a lot of damage in a Downworlder bar.

We had gone a few more feet when we all came to a halt by a sudden shout of "Hey!" from behind us. We turned to see that the boy with the blue eyes had separated from his group of friends and was heading back towards us.

"You dropped this," he said to me. I noticed that he was about the same height as Jace and had longish blue-black hair and a long straight nose. I looked down and he was holding my dagger out to me. Stunned, I searched my pockets and found that I was indeed missing my dagger. A wave of embarrassment passed through me, what kind of Shadowhunter dropped one of her weapons and didn't even know it? My only saving grace was that Jace wasn't here to see my humiliation.

"Oh! Thanks," I said in a small voice taking the dagger back from him. His lips curved into a smile, and his hand held mine a little longer than was necessary. Simon noticed this and immediately took exception, snatching my hand out of the stranger's. "It was my pleasure," he said, winking at me before turning and heading off to rejoin his friends. Simon frowned after him. There wasn't much time to dwell on it, as Isabelle was growing impatient and shouting at us to hurry up.

Isabelle turned and seemed to almost fly down a set of steps, she moved so quickly. I started after her, taking in our surroundings. The steps lead to a long entryway, stopping at a large heavy looking wooden door. Peering at it I realized that there were words burned into the door. The elegant script was scrawled out in fiery letters that were disappearing and reappearing every few seconds. It took me a few times of watching this to make out the name: The Fiery Lizard. I giggled to myself, only Magnus could come up with a name like that for a bar. Isabelle paused at the door to send us a sassy look, and as she pulled open the doors we heard the unmistakable sounds of heavy trance music escaping from inside. Without another backward glance at us she disappeared inside. Simon and I started forward, our arms suddenly linked together, but my steps were much slower than Isabelle's.

Between the strange encounter with the boy on the street, and now the impending fight that Jace might start, I couldn't help the feeling of apprehension that came over me as we pulled open the heavy doors and stepped into the bar.

A/N: We are already working on Chapter 2 and hopefully it will be up before long! Thanks for reading!

Ari and B