They'd seen plenty of fast food restaurants as they walked along, this was all Ben was expecting, whenever his dad took him out it always ended in the standard offering of a burger and chips. But Ronnie wanted today to be special and so finally decided on one of the most expensive, independent restaurants in Leicester Square. Ben looked up at Ronnie with a look of amazement on his face, slight disbelief that anyone would think he was special enough to go to somewhere this sophisticated, it was an unbelievable sense of excitement as he stepped inside taking in the entire atmosphere. Early evening diners sat whilst music played gently in the background, these people all looked important and exciting and Ben felt important and exciting being here in the same room as them.

Ronnie looked over at Ben, smiling as she realised just how much he was enjoying himself and they hadn't even been to see the show yet. This was just what she needed, the perfect release, anonymous to all but Ben. Arriving at their table Ben tucked Ronnie's chair in for her which made her smile, he was such a little gentleman, polite and kind, he gratefully took the menus off of the waiter who scurried away with a smile. "So what do you think of this place?" Ronnie asked peering over her menu at Ben who was grinning to himself as he read the exciting and complex menu, not a burger in sight.

"It's amazing, I haven't been to a restaurant like this since..." Ben stopped suddenly leaving Ronnie to try and figure out what was wrong. Why his happy little smile had dropped so abruptly. "Hey Ben? What's up?" Ronnie asked reaching out her hand to touch his. "I haven't been to a restaurant like this since before mum died" Ben explained with a sad tone to his voice, he sounded so lost, a sound that was so familiar to Ronnie because it sounded like her own voice. Ronnie tried to think of comforting words but she knew that there weren't any, there was nothing she could say to make it better and she knew even trying was useless because it had never helped her so why would it help him? Eventually Ben started talking again, finding within him some strength that Ronnie figured must develop over time because hers certainly hadn't made an appearance yet.

"She would have loved it here," he declared. "My stepdad Gavin would always take her to fancy places on her birthday or for their anniversary," Ben smiled sadly, he liked talking about his mum but he felt far too awkward to do so around Phil. Looking up he noticed his own grief and sadness reflected in Ronnie's eyes, realising that she knew exactly how he felt because she was suffering in her own way. "You're sad... You're sad too aren't you?" Ben asked, this time it was Ben reaching out his hand, comforting Ronnie and supporting her.

"I am," was all Ronnie could force out, she was so overwhelmed in that moment, these two broken figures sat without the person they needed most in the world and Ben was just a child. It broke Ronnie's heart, all the pain and suffering it just didn't seem fair. The bond between a mother and child was so strong and so pure, yet both her and Ben had seen this bond ripped apart way before it ever should have been.

"Is it because of your little girl? Because it's Danielle's birthday soon?" He asked. Explaining "...I saw it on the calendar... I always get sad on mums birthday." Ben sighed, leaning his face against his hand he watched as Ronnie tried to compose herself. She was searching for the right thing to say, she wanted to be the one to support Ben but in the end she found herself questioning him for advice.

"How do you do it Ben? How do you get through it?" Ronnie asked, she felt almost ridiculous seeking information from a thirteen year old but truely he seemed like the only person he could get anywhere close to how she was feeling. "You just keep loving them, that's all you can do," he smiled softly, only breaking eye contact from Ronnie when the waiter reappeared to take their order.

Ronnie gave her order with a cold control to her voice that had been her closest friend for so many years. "Do you miss her a lot?" Ben's voice snapped her back into reality as the silence had gone unnoticed by her for a few seconds too long. Ronnie took a breath before answering, "Every single second." Ronnie said, her hand pressed against her heart. She turned her head away to hide the water brimming in her eyes. "But I hardly knew her… But I still…" Ronnie drifted off into her own lament, not knowing how to finish her sentence.

"She loved you a lot didn't she? To come all that way. She used to talk to me about you sometimes when she was working. She was really nice. Do you…do you think she's watching over you now? Looking after you?" Ben asked after their drinks had arrived. Ronnie felt herself ready to break at the question. Her hand trembled on the table and she felt Ben's rest on top, warmly holding hers down. "I hope so. But… I don't know if she'd like what she sees." Ronnie replied shaking her head.

"When my mum died people told me that the angels wanted her, that she was going to become an angel too, that's why she was taken away so early. Do you think that's true? Because…it means that Danielle would be an angel too?" Ben shuffled in his seat as Ronnie bowed her head looking up at him through wet lashes. "I think it's true Ben," she whispered. "I just wish I had been allowed some time with her first, that the angels could have waited." Ronnie gave Ben a smile before leaning her head back to look at the ceiling, her eyes closing.

"I think she'd be proud of you," Ben stated simply. "Yeah?" She asked, wanting so much to believe in that simple reassurance, that she could still make Danielle proud. "Yeah. You're her mum. Don't worry, she'll look out for you." Ronnie could see Ben smiling up at her as she looked through watery eyes. "But who'll look after her?" Ronnie's voice was a whimper. Ben squeezed her hand as Ronnie turned away, a tear falling. "My mum's up there. She'll take care of Danielle. She'll keep her safe."

It was a relief for Ronnie when their food then arrived, it was nice to talk about Danielle in a way. Even though Ronnie was determined to keep her memories of Danielle close to her heart, it was nice to know that somebody else remembered, it was nice to feel able to remember her without feeling ashamed. Everybody else made an effort, a point of never going near the subject, everybody else seemed to like to pretend that she had never existed, that Ronnie had never had a child, that she had not been denied her, that her baby had not died in her arms. Was she really looking down and watching over Ronnie? As the pair tucked into the food before them Ronnie thought about it, she had to force her food past the lump in her throat as thoughts of Danielle strangled her. It was surreal but now, as the mere possibility of Danielle looking down, still being in her life began to spread through her, Ronnie wanted nothing else but to be alone so that she could speak to her baby. Even if she was left to speaking to nobody, she wanted to try. She forced the thoughts away, planning to make time to talk to Danielle, even if she would never hear.

"Are you going to do something for her birthday?" Ben asked as he speared a green bean with his fork, "We could have a party or something in the Vic, Gran would do a meal." Ronnie lifted her glass to hide behind as she tried to compose herself. "I don't think that would be right. It's just….I don't think it would." Ronnie kept her eyes trained on her meal, she forced a tight smile at Ben to make sure she didn't hurt him but that was the most that she could manage. Ben shuffled on his seat as he noticed the atmosphere change, Ronnie barely looking up from where she pushed her food around her plate. "Well why don't we do it tonight?" Ben asked, watching Ronnie to see if she would meet his eyes. "What do you mean?" Ronnie sighed, still keeping her eyes locked on her meal. "Well we could make today a birthday day for her. Just in case she's here to take care of you while you're sad. And because it's nice to make her birthday special, even if she can't be here." Ronnie raised her eyebrows and nodded, agreeing or perhaps just placating.

"So come on anyway, have you decided what you want to go and see yet?" Ronnie asked trying to change the subject. As sweet as Ben's suggestions were the thoughts and feelings they created were threatening to send Ronnie into her dark place, she was struggling to stay strong. "Well if tonight is for Danielle then we should go and see something that she liked... The Lion King!" Ben beamed, holding back only when he saw Ronnie's reaction, she was confused and desperate for information. "How do you... How do you know what Danielle would have liked?" Ronnie croaked clinging onto anything she could gather on her daughter, anything at all that helped to fill in the gaps and make the picture a little clearer.

"Well because she told me, Danielle loved Disney. When I was feeling sad one time she sat down on the stairs next to me and gave me the biggest smile and she told me to just keep swimming" Ben grinned and gave a little laugh at the memory. "Keep swimming?" Ronnie asked. "You know like in Finding Nemo? Anyway one day when she was emptying the bins upstairs I showed her my dvd's and she told me that the Lion King was one of her favourites" Ben explained. Ronnie sat in amazement, her heart lurched with a mixture of pain and happiness at the thought. "Did she talk to you a lot?" Ronnie asked nervously, she felt her hands shaking so she shoved them under the table, she didn't want Ben to see how much she needed him to say yes, how much she wanted to hear anything he could offer her.

"She was really nice, she always spoke whenever she saw me. Why don't I tell you about it on the way to the theatre? We need to go and buy tickets from one of the booths... That's if you want to go and see it?" Ben asked nervously. "Yeah I do" Ronnie assured giving a small nod as she tried to hold in the tears that so desperately wanted to force themselves out. Paying the bill they began to leave the restaurant but Ronnie stopped Ben as they reached the door. "Ben... Thank you" Ronnie smiled as Ben took her hand and they started the walk to the theatre.