Chapter 3

Merlin woke up feeling ill. He'd made the nastiest tasting liquid in the world yesterday. He only hoped he'd done it right and hadn't ended up poisoning himself. Still, ignoring the sloshing of his stomach, Merlin got out of bed and stumbled into the main room. Gaius was setting up breakfast and Merlin smiled. His smile widened when he realized he could show a smile at all.

"Morning," he called out. Gaius jumped and looked up.

"Heaven's, Merlin, I thought you were still sleeping," the old man gasped out. "Do you want to put me in an early grave?"

"Aw, Gaius. It would take a bolt of lightning to keep you down," Merlin teased as he came to the table.

"Well someone's chipper this morning," Gaius pointed out in a slightly sarcastic, slightly curious fashion. He set down a glass by Merlin's plate and filled it with water. Merlin couldn't stop smiling.

"Last night was a bit rough. I'm just glad it's over," the young magician explained, biting into his breakfast. Gaius frowned but said nothing. He ate some of his breakfast as well before his curiosity got the better of him.

"What happened last night?" he asked.

Merlin looked up at his old caretaker and shrugged. He didn't know exactly how to explain it. He took a moment to think and tried to remember when he'd noticed something odd. Merlin set his fork down and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Yesterday afternoon, just before I started organizing the weaponry for the knights training, I felt a bit… sick? Then I felt sort of bland. As the day went, I couldn't smile… I could hardly raise my voice… I mean, I think I scared Arthur by being so agreeable. It was sort of funny. He thought he was hiding it, but he was seriously confused," Merlin explained, a smile adorning his face at the memory.

"Now I'm confused. What was wrong?" Gaius asked. He moved his plate aside so he could lean closer to his ward.

"Dunno," Merlin replied with a shrug. He took a drink from his glass and stood up. "But I fixed it last night, so I'm fine. I have to go tend to Arthur, but I'll come see you if I have the chance."

"Merlin," Gaius called warningly. Merlin stopped smiling and now looked curiously confused. "Be careful."

"Thanks, Gaius," Merlin laughed and grabbed his bag. Without another word, the warlock was out of the room.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Arthur stirred at the sound of his curtains being pulled back. He groaned and turned his face away from the light. He'd been having a nice dream. He couldn't remember it exactly… but there had been a pretty person involved. All he could remember now was that they'd been at a banquet and he'd been touching their face and then…. Then there was a hand on his arm. Arthur grabbed the arm connected to the hand and tugged down on the person attached.

In the dream, he'd been about to kiss... about to kiss the only person he was truly crushing on in his life. He'd been about to kiss -…

"Arthur, wake up!" he heard a voice exclaim. His eyes snapped open and he found Merlin's face only inches from his own.

Merlin was haphazardly leaning on the bed, his knee the only thing keeping him up. His arm was trapped about the elbow by Arthur's strong hand, and his other hand propped him up off the bed, but barely. Arthur was leaning his body up toward Merlin, his body language suggesting he wanted to kiss Merlin… if their faces getting ever closer meant anything.

"M-Merlin?!" Arthur exclaimed in return. He instantly released his man servant, both faces covered in shocked embarrassment. "What were you doing?"

"N-nothing!" Merlin assured, taking a step back so he wasn't against the bed anymore. "I was merely trying to wake you up when you grabbed me."

"I would never do something like that. Why don't you go… get my clothing for me!" Arthur ordered out the first thing he could think of.

Merlin went to do as told, but they both knew Arthur was completely aware that he had indeed pulled Merlin down. Arthur rubbed his face down with his hand and sighed. He fell back onto his pillows. That had been a close one. He was only supposed to do stupid stuff like that to Merlin in his dreams! And even then it was weird and strange to Arthur. He was never one for open emotions, so even in sleep he struggled to show how he felt.

Arthur sighed again and covered his eyes with his arm. It was too early for swirling adolescent emotions. He wasn't an adolescent anymore! He shouldn't be acting this way to begin with! The prince let out another aggravated sigh.

"You know, they say sighing gives you wrinkles," Merlin's voice spoke up. Arthur jumped to a sitting position. Suddenly, lying down seemed much too personal to be doing it in front of Merlin. "You're jumpy this morning. Are you alright?"

"Fine," Arthur assured. Damn. Why did Merlin seem so calm after that? Wasn't Merlin the guy who wore his emotions on his sleeve? Why did it seem like Arthur was the emotional one and Merlin was the shrug-it-off-regal guy? Arthur much preferred it the normal way. Then he could tease Merlin about it and feel better about himself.

The rest of the morning was simple and routine. The only difference was Arthur's jumpiness every time Merlin started talking or touched him. The prince took a deep breath and straightened his collar. Merlin was making sure everything was hanging right on his lord's outfit. Then he nodded and stepped back from Arthur, giving the prince a chance to relax. The closeness was driving him insane!

"I think you're ready," Merlin announced with a proud smile. Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Well I have no more time to get ready, so we'd best hope that's the case," he replied snidely and walked from the room. Merlin followed after him, confusion on his face.

"Are you sure you're alright, Arthur?" the sorcerer asked. The prince looked fine, but he was jumpy and nervous and… dare he say? - an ass.

"I'm fine, Merlin," Arthur replied, a bit too quickly. "But today I need you to walk my dogs and then give my horse a bath. She's looking terrible these days." Anything to put some distance between them.

"But I thought we were going hunting later," Merlin spoke up. Arthur shook his head.

"Change of plans. Do what I've ordered and then find me. I have some other work piling up I need you to attend to as well," and the prince sounded strong and regal when he spoke. This tone made Merlin consider that perhaps he had imagined the prince's unusual behavior. He seemed fine now.

"Yes, Sire," Merlin replied and slowed down in his walk. He watched Arthur walk away for a moment before turning and heading to find the prince's ever so regal canines. Honestly, Arthur hardly ever played with them. How were they even considered his?

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Oh no. Merlin frowned. He was back to the same predicament he'd been in last night. He couldn't smile anymore. Even when trying to think of the happiest memory he had, his face didn't even twitch. Merlin frowned deeper. He'd have to get Gaius to help him with that potion tonight. Maybe it would work better if a more skilled physician concocted it and Merlin just did the spell. Still, maybe he'd just have to take it every night until whatever this was wore off… He hated the prospect of having to drink the nasty liquid every night before bed.

"What's with you?" Arthur asked. Merlin looked up, letting curiosity coat his features.

"Hm? Nothing," he replied. Oh, even his tones were going. Arthur gave him a confused look and then shrugged as he looked back ahead. He was doing target practice with his crossbow.

"Honestly, Merlin. I think I can tell by now when you're upset. Come on," Arthur ordered lightly as he let loose another arrow. It hit dead center, of course. "Tell me. What's made you upset with me today?"

"What? I'm not upset with you," Merlin tried to assure him, but even Merlin could tell the semi-lack of tone wasn't helping his cause.

"Sure," Arthur replied, abandoning his target to look at Merlin. "Come now, Merlin. You've never been a fantastic liar. Just tell me what I did so I can tell you why it's stupid and we can move on with the day."

"Sire, I assure you, it's nothing you've done," Merlin tried again. This time, it seemed Arthur accepted the answer despite its monotone. "I'm just suffering from a… a sort of illness. Gaius is looking into it."

"Illness?" Arthur asked, taking a cautious half-step back. "It's not contagious, is it?"

Merlin tried to smile, but it failed. Instead, he looked sullen as he shook his head. Arthur frowned. Merlin was definitely not acting normal. Usually he found Arthur's pompous ways to be insulting or funny. Today he seemed unaffected.

"Merlin, if you don't stop with the frowning, you'll ruin my evening," Arthur half teased. Merlin lowered his gaze and Arthur tried to catch it, but Merlin adamantly refused to meet his eyes. Merlin knew he couldn't smile.

"Sorry, your highness," he mumbled. There went his volume. It was happening faster today. The sun was barely starting to set. Last night, his volume didn't go until well after sunset. Arthur frowned deeper.

"Go on then," Arthur ordered, his face rising a bit in confusion and curiosity at his servant's demeanor. "Go home and tell Gaius to put a rush on the help… You're almost starting to worry me."

Again, Merlin wanted to smile. Arthur was worried about him. It was a nice feeling, and yet it was drowned out by the fact that he couldn't show the effect those words had had. Merlin nodded, his face desperately fighting a frown. Without a word, for he didn't want to hear how his voice had become, Merlin strolled off for home.

Gaius. Gaius would know what to do, both men thought. Arthur watched Merlin walk for a moment before returning to his target practice. He really was worried. He'd never seen Merlin so sullen, even after he'd seen Arthur kill a unicorn.

Merlin strolled across the training ground and halls. As he passed across the center of the courtyard, he winced. His face showed the pain as a high pitched ring echoed loudly in his ear. Merlin held his ears and squinted his eyes shut. Through the ringing, he could hear the sound of voices, so many voices. Gwen's, Gaius's, his mother's, King Uther's, and his own… but mostly he heard Arthur's voice. With the voices he saw the moments when they'd been said. He saw meeting Gwen, leaving home, the king's order for him to be a servant, Gaius scolding him for magic. He saw Uther's violent outbursts about magic, Gwen's cries for help, his mother assuring him that Arthur would one day accept him and his magic, and Gaius telling him he was destined for great things… but mostly he saw Arthur's smiling face when they teased each other, Arthur sitting by a beach and saying 'I'm glad you're here', and Arthur telling him time and time again how stupid he was.

"Ah," Merlin grunted and then gasped. He fell to his knees and dropped one hand away from his head to keep himself from falling down further. Something wet touched his hand that still covered his ear. Merlin struggled but opened his eyes and looked down at his hand. Then he felt fear cloud him.

Blood. His ears were bleeding.

'Who is more important, the prince or the knight?' a voice asked in his head. Merlin pressed his lips together. He suddenly had a flashback to the day before and the statue in the woods. This was that same voice.

"S-stop it, please," Merlin murmured out loud.

'If we take away the knight, will the prince continue living just fine?' the voice asked. Merlin squeezed his eyes shut and huffed out his breaths.

'Please, stop it!' Merlin begged in his head.

The ringing stopped. The voices and images vanished. Merlin was left alone to himself… and then Merlin was alone in the courtyard, laying against the cold stones.

-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Morning came and Arthur woke up by himself. He yawned and stretched and wondered why Merlin hadn't popped in to pull back his curtains and annoy him as usual. Perhaps Gaius had found a use for him this morning. That was the normal reason for Merlin to be late, at least. Arthur let out a long breath and ran his hand through his hair. Oh well. He was perfectly capable of getting ready for a day without Merlin.

Down in Merlin's room, the doll on the table shook with what seemed to be laughter. It had changed positions from when Gaius had last seen it. It now resembled the statue from the forest, a hand over its mouth and heart. It wore a long robe with worker's boots. Under the cloak, a knightly outfit could be seen. Around its neck was what appeared to be a scarf, but it was so small that it could be mistaken for ruffles in the cloak. The head was still covered in the hood of the cloak. The statue's eyes were closed, but as the figure in the bed nearby began to stir, the eyes started to open.

Merlin sat up in bed and gasped. He quickly felt his ears but found no traces of blood. His head didn't hurt, nor did any part of his body. He felt perfectly fine. In fact, he felt better than fine. Merlin tested his face and found he was capable of showing emotion. Had he made it back last night and made himself that potion again?

The last thing he remembered was walking through the courtyard, but he was waking up in his bed. The young warlock shook his head. He must be losing it. He swung his legs out of bed and discovered he'd gone to bed in his clothes. Shrugging that fact away, Merlin looked at his window.

"Ah!" he gasped. He was late! He jumped up and rushed from the room. He didn't have time to eat, so he ignored the plate set up for him on the table. He grabbed his bag from its spot on the floor. "Gaius, why didn't you wake me?" he asked the old man eating breakfast.

However, he didn't wait for an answer and rushed out of the door. Gaius picked at his food, deep in thought. The book open next to him took all his concentration away from everything else, including eating. That was, at least, until he heard a loud knocking at his door.

"Yes? Come in," he called, standing up to greet his visitor.

The door opened to show Gwen and two soldiers. Gwen looked nearly distraught. She rushed in and beckoned the two men to follow her. They were carrying something between the two of them, and Gaius frowned.

"What's going on?" he asked. Had they discovered Merlin's secret and come to arrest him? Gwen shook her head as if answering his thoughts.

"I didn't know what to do, Gaius," she whimpered. "I found him this morning just lying in the middle of the courtyard!"

Gaius looked over as the two knights cleared the table and set a body down on it. When they moved back, Gaius gasped. He rushed over to the body and began to check for signs of life.

"Merlin, can you hear me?" he asked. Merlin gave no response. Gwen covered her mouth with her hands and the two guards left to resume their posts. Gaius spotted the blood in Merlin's ears and frowned. Fear gripped his heart as he dropped his ear against the boy's chest.

"Merlin?" he asked, his voice filled with worry.