A/N --- Written by McIzzieFan and Adia Rose
Waking up was agony, waking up with a hangover was even worse. Alcohol had always been such an unwavering support but last night even that had let her down, as much as she'd tried to numb the pain and force it away it had stubbornly refused to leave her, so she'd drunk more and more. What she'd done with the rest of her night was a complete mystery, she was surprised that she'd ended up in her own bed and was even in her pajamas, she guessed she had Jack to thank for that. Turning herself over she searched for the reassuring presence of another body next to her but found nothing other than an empty space.
Right on cue Jack appeared standing in the doorway, already dressed and looking at Ronnie with pitying eyes, she hated that look it was one that most people seemed to reserve especially for her. "Apparently she didn't have a clue... Poor girl her dad lied to her all those years... I for one never trusted that Archie Mitchell, shifty eyes... But did you see the way she treated that girl? Disgusting that was." She wasn't overly sure if she was feeling sick because of the alcohol or simply because she was being reminded of the incessant guilt that ruled over her life.
"Another drink?" Jack asked sarcastically, swirling a glass of vodka in Ronnie's face which she grabbed from him. Hurling it at the wall it just narrowly missed Jack, he jumped away in shock as it smashed against the wall sending the clear liquid inside spraying in every direction. "Oy!" Jack barked at Ronnie but he got no response other than the sound of Ronnie turning to the bucket that was placed at the side of her bed and throwing up. Sighing he reached over and pulled her hair back, holding it and trying not to gag himself as she retched.
Laying on the bed she panted, feeling the burning prickling heat and the uncomfortable aching in her stomach. Jack had disappeared but soon came back with another glass, this time filled with water. "Don't throw this one at me alright?" He demanded placing it down on her bedside table and backing off. "I've got to get to work but i'll check on you later if you don't make it in." Jack explained. Ronnie simply nodded her reply before turning away from Jack as he walked away, she didn't move until the minute she heard the front door slam shut. Finally alone she tried to steady her breathing, but it was no good holding it in releasing a chilling wail before bursting into tears. Pulling her knees in tightly to her chest she forced herself into the tightest ball she could.
Paul. Everything that had happened last night was coming flooding back to her. The look on his face, the things he said. He'd taken Danielle's innocence, fractured her heart and started a disintegration that she had done nothing but fuel. It had been her chance to help her daughter and she'd let it slip through her fingers leaving her with nothing but empty regret.
Forcing herself to get up, she placed an unsteady foot on the floor before eventually trying to stand. As she reached the kitchen she spotted a note attached to the cupboard door. 'Eat something, it'll make you feel better x' she couldn't stop the smile that forced its way onto her face. She saw that smile reflected in the kettle but no matter how closely she looked at it, it still didn't feel like she was looking at herself, no this woman in front of her was a stranger. Red, puffy, mascara stained eyes stared back at her and finally she saw something she did recognise, the sadness that had existed for twenty years was as prevalent as ever.
Chewing thoughtlessly on the toast she'd prepared herself she immediately felt some relief from her crippling hangover and very soon she found herself able to go through with her ritual. Kissing her locket before replacing it in the box, hesitating only for a second before she pulled open the newspaper cutting. She didn't know if she'd feel differently about the picture staring back at her now. Paul had taken Danielle's innocence, he'd also tried to tarnish the image of her perfect Danielle that she had held on to so tightly maybe now this wouldn't feel the same Ronnie panicked. It didn't matter though, none of it mattered because the minute her eyes met that photo she was flooded with the familiar love and pride that she was always filled with whenever she saw it.
"I should have protected you" Ronnie whispered touching the paper, taking a deep breath before folding it back up and placing it back carefully into the jewellery box. Suddenly she was startled by the sound of the phone ringing, almost dropping the jewellery box she was quick to grab hold of it tightly, cradling it close to her racing heart she slowly placed it down before running over to the phone.
Picking up the receiver she barked an annoyed "Hello?" Listening to nothing but silence she repeated the greeting this time with more than a little annoyance in her voice, still there was nothing. No reply, only the faintest sound of breathing in the background. "Who is this?" Ronnie asked trying to determine a sound from the other end but getting absolutely nothing. Finally getting bored of whatever was going on Ronnie slammed down the phone, her hand shaking as she pulled it back. Walking back over to the jewellery box she returned it to her secret hiding place.
Moving through to the bathroom Ronnie took a quick shower in an attempt to wake herself up and start feeling a little more human again. Though it would have been easier on her stomach to spend the entire day wallowing in bed it was essential to keep moving, Ronnie feared if she sat still for too long she might never find the strength to move again. Also there was Jack, the way she'd reacted to him earlier getting angry, throwing the glass and coming home drunk in the first place... It was hardly the behaviour of someone who was going to be the mother of his child eventually.
Walking along Ronnie mostly kept her head down, she mostly walked this way now because it meant that she didn't have to meet other peoples eyes, see their sympathetic expressions or even worse make small talk with them. She couldn't help but notice Stacey standing close to the club, she was talking to Max trying to grab hold of his arms as he backed off instead insisting that he take her home. Overhearing Stacey make some sort of lewd comment in reply Ronnie decided that she should step in. "Stacey... Do you want to talk?" Ronnie asked gently her hand resting on Stacey's shoulder in an almost motherly way. "Not to you" Stacey huffed before turning to Max "are you coming or what?" she asked pulling on his tie. Max backed off before "I don't think that's a good idea babe" he insisted. "Oh whatever" Stacey grunted making a swift exit before Ronnie could stop her.
Noticing Max's shocked expression Ronnie tried to offer some words of comfort "Max it's not your fault" she smiled rubbing his arm. "Isn't it?" Max sighed sadly walking off rubbing his forehead. Ronnie sighed before making her way into the club, reaching the bottom of the stairs she stood back for a moment and watched Jack sorting out a drinks order that had just arrived, seeing his muscles bulge through his suit jacket as he bent to pick up a crate of drinks she felt a reassuring ripple of desire, at least she was still physically attracted to him, even if the emotional side was lacking.
Giving him a small and ever so slightly seductive smile she watched as his face registered it, first with a look of surprise and then a massive grin. "Found your way out of bed then?" Jack asked, placing the crate back down he made his way to Ronnie's side. "You were right, food helped" Ronnie smiled her hand lightly touching Jack's face.
"Ronnie you could barely stand last night. What's going on?" Jack asked looking concerned he pulled Ronnie into a massive hug, it felt suffocating but she didn't pull away couldn't spoil the moment right now. "Just got a bit carried away" Ronnie lied "forget it ok? Now I believe I have some making up to do for coming in and passing out last night" Ronnie winked, wrapping her arms around Jack's neck she pulled him in and kissed him passionately slightly surprised when she felt him pull away. "No Ron. You're going to listen to me." Jack demanded, brushing Ronnie's hair from her face to placate her. "Jack I got a bit upset about... things" she couldn't say Danielle's name, couldn't mention it around Jack, he wasn't worthy of hearing the word.
"Sit down" Jack commanded gently, guiding her onto a stool he grabbed onto her hand and have it a reassuring squeeze, he'd guessed what should have come at the end of Ronnie's sentence. It was something he couldn't make better with a hug or a kiss or any number of promises and it angered him. He wanted to be the one that Ronnie cried over or laughed over, he didn't want to keep living in the shadow of a girl that Ronnie had barely even known.
"Jack..." Ronnie started, forcing a smile upon her face she tried to show that she was perfectly alright.
"Ron, you can't keep doing this. I had to come and get you last night. Dawn found you passed out on the office floor, did you know that?" Jack was trying to be gentle but he couldn't help feeling angry that Ronnie was fitting into the role that he had wanted her to fill. But he still wanted her to fill it. Ronnie continued to stare at the desk, caught between anger and submission, so she just fiddled with a necklace that was not quite right and let him carry on.
"You and me Ron, this is about you and me. That's all that matters." Ronnie forced a smile at his words. She leant in to press a gentle kiss against his lips. It wasn't all that mattered at all, in fact it completely paled in comparison to so many other things in her life. But she couldn't deny that she needed him. She needed him for her future and she needed him for the warm body that could keep her company and be her comfort when the nights were cold and empty.
"We have a whole life together to look forward to, just the two of us." Jack smiled, touching his hand to Ronnie's cheek she didn't pull away simply mirrored Jack's smile to put him at ease. "I love you" he whispered, pulling her close again he could see in her eyes it was like she was on a whole other planet, completely lost and he knew how he was going to snap her out of it and bring her back to him. Soon.
"I love you too..." Ronnie muttered snapping herself back into reality she reminded herself why she was here, "But I promise you, everything is ok now. Though I could really do with some cheering up" raising an eyebrow Jack decided it was easier to simply give in and led Ronnie towards the office. If this was the way to get closer to her and gain her undivided attention then he would take it. It was one of the best things in their relationship, it always had been. The want was always there, always had been, even when the love wasn't.
