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Chapter 5
Hales, you need to eat." She didn't even look at him.
"You have to stop doing this," Nathan tried again, "it's not good for..." he hesitated and then decided that maybe she needed a little reality check. "It's not good for the baby."
"I don't care!" she replied starting to leave the room, but Nathan grabbed her arm before she coud go.
"Yes you do. Two wrongs don't make a right. Losing this baby won't bring Jamie back."
"How dare you say that," Haley cried. "You weren't even there!"
For a few seconds, Nathan forgot how to breathe. She was blaming him and she was right, he should have been there. He let go of her arm and left.
That night, Haley awoke with a start. She had dreamt of Jamie again. But it was different this time. Usually she saw he crying for help, or trying to run towards but never reaching her. Tonight though, he had been right beside her and with her big blue eyes staring at her, he had told her that hiw was okay, that she shouldn't be sad, "I don't like it when you cry Momma". And now there she was sitting in her bed in the middle of the night, silent tears running down her cheeks, and she realised that surprisingly for the first time it didn't hurt so much. For the first time in weeks, since Jamie had gone missing, she could think of her son without her heart breaking.
Nathan was watching her but didn't make a move.
Haley stood up and went to pick up the picture of her son that sat on the her finger she softly touched her son's grinning face and a small smile graced her own features. Nathan got up and went to stand behind his wife. Slowly he embraced her and for the first time in what seemed like forever she let him. And together they cried.
"I never got to say goodbye. I didn't tell him how much I loved," Haley buried her face in her husband's shoulder.
"He knew... He knew..."
"It wasn't your fault, I shouldn't have said that, it wasn't fair," she whispered.
"It wasn't yours either." She looked at him confused.
He looked into her eyes. "I know you blame yourself, you think you could have done something." She nodded.
"You couldn't have prevented what happened, neither of us could. We need to stop blaming ourselves. It's the only way, be'll be able to..." he hesitated.
"Move on."
