Chapter 11
It was an odd experience, sleeping in Arthur's room that night. Sure, the two males had shared a room before; they'd even shared a floor. They'd slept beside each other once or twice, but this was different. This time, Merlin was invisible, and Arthur was pretty sure Merlin was following him anyway… and he was right. This time, Merlin had wanted to crawl into bed with Arthur, but had been unable to. This time, Arthur was staring at him.
It was odd to be stared at when you knew you were invisible… it was odd to be stared at by Arthur at all. How Arthur had managed to guess exactly where Merlin was in the room was a mystery all its own. All the magician knew was that he was sitting in Arthur's chair, trying to get comfy enough to sleep, and the crowned prince was laying in bed… watching the chair. It wasn't even squeaking, yet somehow Arthur knew.
"Merlin, if you're going to be in here all night, don't wrinkle the fur for the chair," Arthur drawled out. "Come lay down in the bed."
Merlin's cheeks flared. Arthur had tried to kiss him twice in the past two days… and Merlin still went through human bodies. He wasn't sure what would happen if he laid down and they accidentally rolled till Arthur was lying inside Merlin.
"Is that a no?" Arthur asked, his voice heavy with fatigue. No wonder, though. He'd been running around trying to help Merlin while doing his normal duties all day. "Alright… well if you change your mind, I'll leave a side open for you."
It was an oddly generous gift, Merlin had to admit. Arthur was offering half his bed for a night. It wasn't every day the crowned prince went around and let people sleep in his bed… right beside him. Then again, it also wasn't every day the crowned prince leaned over your half-dead body and tried to kiss you, either! Merlin ruffled his own hair and groaned. Why did Arthur have to make Merlin's mind so confused?
Arthur rolled over and pulled his covers up to his shoulders. Merlin craned his neck to get a better view of the handsome prince as he tried to sleep. Merlin frowned. It was true, of course. He liked Arthur a lot… more than his duty or destiny had commanded him to. When he wasn't given a concentration driven duty, he was often watching Arthur… and watching someone that long allowed Merlin time to realize the details of Arthur's movements, the curves of his body, the specifics of his hands, his clothes, and his face.
Merlin's gaze went glossy as his eyes drifted over the one hand Arthur hand on top of his covers. They were strong, firm hands. They were protective hands. They were safe hands. Merlin closed his eyes and shook his head. He had to stop thinking like that. He felt like some kind of peeping tom, not to mention how wrong it was. If it was just that they were both male, Merlin could forgive himself; After all, it seemed Arthur has some similar tendencies… but Arthur was a prince and Merlin was a servant. To even think of the prince in a sexual manner was distasteful for a servant… to act upon them was shameful. Even if Arthur did return his feelings and something came of it, it would always be in the shadows. They'd always be sneaking about, ducking around corners, hiding in the darkness. What kind of relationship would that be?
Yet even as he thought all of this, Merlin found himself lifting from the chair and walking toward Arthur's bed. He stopped beside it, on the side Arthur had left open for him, and shook a little. Was he really going to lie beside Arthur to sleep? Could he even sleep at all?
Arthur's breathing was rhythmic and deep, but he was not asleep. As his bed dipped down to accommodate a new weight and the sheets lifted up to allow for a new addition, he smiled. Merlin had crawled into bed with him. A part of Arthur's mind commended Merlin for not being a coward. Another part made his heart hammer at the thought of Merlin in his bed. Still, Arthur kept up the rouse that he was sleeping. He took a deep breath and rolled over onto his back.
After what felt like forever, Arthur peeked his eyes open to check the weighted area beside him. His heart sank when he notice that, as he should have expected, the dip in the mattress was there and the wrinkles in the covers were there but there was no visible body in the bed. The crowned prince frowned and turned his head away from the sight, or the lack thereof. Then he closed his eyes and finally decided it was alright to sleep.
Merlin frowned as well. He could tell he'd let Arthur down somehow by being invisible, and the frown on his prince's face made his own heart sink. He hoped they fixed this statue issue soon, because he couldn't take watching Arthur upset much longer. He wanted to be normal again, even if it meant Arthur pretending none of this had happened.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
When Arthur awoke the next morning, he yawned and rolled over into the middle of the bed, arms splayed wide. After only a moment, he gasped and pushed back to his side of the bed and then up – supported by one arm. His eyes scanned the bed wildly, but there was no sign of another person still lying there. The covers were wrinkled and out of place. The pillow was still pressed from a head, but there was no dip in the mattress at all.
"Merlin?" Arthur asked, keeping his voice curiously confused instead of worried and slightly defeated. Something jingled to his side, and Arthur snapped his vision in that direction.
His food had been brought up and there was a note from Lyla beside it. She'd let him sleep because he looked so tired the day before, it read. Yep. She was definitely no Merlin. Arthur looked for the source of the jingle. He found it was the poker for his fireplace being moved around in its stand. The prince's face fell into relief.
"You have no idea how amazing it is to see you so emotional," Merlin allowed as he went to the table and began moving Arthur's food off the tray and placed on the table the way he liked it. Lyla had no idea. She'd left everything on the tray like a picture, perfect – like the way Arthur's bed was about to be as soon as the prince moved his morning bum off of it.
"You know, it still amazes me, Merlin," Arthur began, sliding out of bed and cracking his back. "You're invisible. You're cursed. You're probably bored out of your mind, and yet here you are… acting like nothing's happened… Although, I must admit, I like it."
"You're welcome, Arthur," Merlin replied in a slightly snippy tone. He really couldn't tell if Arthur was teasing him or not and that was annoying.
"Honestly, though, I'm still singularly amazed by the fact that you're invisible at all. Think about it. You're a spirit, Merlin," Arthur seemed to ramble as he sat before his breakfast. Merlin moved over to the bed to organize it. "When you return to your body, you know Gaius will want to know all about it."
Merlin chuckled. That must be code for 'when you can talk to me again, tell me what it was like.' Gaius would ask him privately, no doubt. He wouldn't want Merlin to have to leave out any details that might include magic. Speaking of which, Merlin hadn't done any magic at all other than healing Arthur's bruised head.
The young sorcerer stopped what he was doing and let his eyes fill with golden light. The bedding moved as it had two mornings ago, the morning before Merlin's spirit left his body. The pillows lifted, the sheets smoothed, and the pillows reset themselves and looked perfectly plump. Merlin smiled. Yep. He could definitely still do magic.
Arthur's spoon made a clank of a sound as it was set down into the bowl. Merlin turned and saw Arthur giving the bed a most peculiar look. Merlin frowned. Oops. He'd just lifted two pillows and moved sheets simultaneously. That was impossible for one person. Had Arthur noticed? The prince seemed to mull over possible explanations as he swallowed his breakfast. Then he pressed his lips together and turned back to his food without saying a word.
"Oh, you can't make me believe you're not curious," Merlin half accused. It wasn't that he wanted Arthur to call him out on it or start yelling, but some show of acknowledgement would be nice.
Still, Arthur said nothing and just ate his breakfast. He didn't even speak about Merlin being a spirit or how to help him, which he seemed to be very talkative about recently. Merlin frowned and just watched him. He hoped his show of magic hadn't put a barrier between him and the prince.
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
Merlin walked down the hall. The castle was unusually quiet. Sure, maids and servants and knights strolled down the halls, filling their spaces with clicking and clopping and footsteps of all kinds. There was soft chatter, clanking armor, rustling fabric, and more. Still, the whole place just seemed quieter. Merlin frowned angrily. That was probably because no one was talking to him.
Dumb Arthur hadn't said a word to Merlin since this morning! Even when Merlin tried to show he wanted to talk with the dishes again, Arthur ignored him and just went about his day. He got dressed on his own; putting on the clothes he typically wore to go hunting. Merlin had tried to ask why, but again Arthur hadn't replied. It was as if Merlin were suddenly invisible to Arthur.
Fine. If that was the way Arthur was going to act, then Merlin would find someone else to follow. Besides, Merlin didn't really feel like traipsing through the bushes after Arthur anyway. He could be an obnoxious prat and go kill things by himself!
But who would he follow now? He couldn't expect everyone to accept mysterious noises and things moving as well as Arthur had. Merlin frowned.
Half an hour later, he was lying on the floor in Gaius's house. It had taken a good twenty minutes to convince himself to go through the door and had only managed to finally get in because a woman had come to ask Gaius for a tonic. If it hadn't been for her, Merlin would have been standing in front of that door making up the excuse of 'well the door's closed and I can't get through it' for another hour. Logically, he knew he could probably walk through the door since he couldn't touch it, but making up a reason not to enter the house had seemed to be the better idea.
Now Merlin had found the floor to be quiet hospitable. It was surprisingly warm and comfortable, despite it being hard as stone… because it was stone. The dirt on the floor was impervious to Merlin's existence. The young wizard was breathing deep and blowing toward a small pile, but it didn't even shiver in the weak flow; but maybe… maybe if Merlin blew out his air a little faster… Okay, so Merlin was bored out of his mind!
Arthur was interesting. Arthur had a busy day. Arthur was almost constantly in motion, and Merlin could watch him train or learn or whatever it was Arthur was doing at the moment. Here, he had nothing to do. His body was limp and unresponsive, even when Merlin concentrated on making it react somehow. Gaius would walk back and forth, every once in awhile giving Merlin looks that ranged between worried and disappointed. The man was looking through books.
"I never realized how boring a day could be," Merlin murmured.
Then Arthur's words came drifting back through his mind. 'You must be bored out of your mind.' Well, he certainly was now. Merlin sighed, the air he let out still ineffective to the surrounding floor, and frowned. Why was Arthur not talking to him? Why wouldn't Arthur say anything? Merlin didn't like Arthur being angry with him, but Arthur ignoring him entirely was probably worse. No, it definitely was.
"Arthur," he murmured. "I can't believe I'm saying this but… I need you to talk to me."
A heavy feeling overtook Merlin then. He felt like someone or something was pressing him into the floor, like gravity had doubled. He grunted and gripped at the floor. He thought he heard the door open to the house, but he couldn't turn to check and his ears were somehow muffled. Merlin clenched his teeth together in the effort to push himself off the floor. He didn't move an inch.
Merlin opened his mouth, but he didn't even hear the sound of his own gasp much less words. As he sucked in new breath, Merlin saw his vision go. No… Merlin squeezed his eyes shut. No, he couldn't be getting worse. Not now. Was it because he was near his body? No. He had to get away from here… but he couldn't even move!
'Arthur,' he gasped in his mind. 'I… I can't move, Arthur!'
A single tear leaked from Merlin's eye. Then a sound burst through the stuffed silence and shattered all of his symptoms. Merlin gasped and his eyes snapped open.
"Merlin?"
