Matt's hands were shaking when he woke and his body ached.
"He'll never forgive me." Mello's voice came for the other room, the living room. His voice calm as if listing off numbers. Matt tried to concentrate on the conversation.
"Then why don't you let him go? He obviously doesn't want to be here." Came Jay's Italian accented voice. Matt heard the sound of metal clicking. They were probably cleaning their guns. Mello always liked to keep himself and his things clean.
"I wonder why I keep you around." Mello snorted.
"My good looks? But, seriously, you couldn't get rid of me. The Lucchese's would be all over you."
"Just because you've got a cousin in the Lucchese family does not give you the right to mess up my hair." Mello complained.
"Alright, calm down. Don't go putting bullet holes in the floor." More gun cleaning. Matt hated that sound. "Listen to what I say though. That kid's probably been through more shit than you know. He's probably been alone so long he doesn't know what the hell to do."
"Listen to this dumbass. I am not letting him go back that filth heap he calls an apartment." Mello snapped.
"Why don't you talk to him about that? He's probably up."
"When did you go psychic?" Matt could hear Mello pacing. A steady constant rhythm.
"Yesterday." Jay's voice dripped sarcasm. "Sedative I gave him wasn't that strong so he should be up unless he's just sleeping. If he's up let me know."
"You piss him off and the Lucchese's won't fucking help you."
"Got it, mini boss." Jay gave a quiet laugh. Mello grumbled but otherwise didn't reply.
Matt could hear Mello's footstep drawing closer to the bedroom where he lay. He turned so his back was to the door, wincing when he disturbed his wounds. He heard Mello enter the room and quietly pull the chair from the desk closer to the bed.
"Matty, I'm so sorry. I was so caught up in myself I never thought about you." Mello whispered. He stroked Matt's hair gently so as not to disturb him.
"I loved you." Matt said quietly. He noticed Mello stopped stroking his hair but didn't remove his hand. "No." Matt corrected himself. "I still love you. When we were together I was…happy, I guess. After you left I couldn't felt anything but empty and alone."
"Matt, I don't know how else to tell you I'm sorry." Mello interrupted.
"I
wasn't finished." Matt said, sans emotion. "I thought I would
hate you but I didn't." He continued. "I thought of you all the
time. I missed seeing the way you would get animated when you were
happy or the face you make when you're deep in thought." He
clutched his hands together to try and control the shaking. He knew
it would only get worst with time. "I couldn't even look at a
damn chocolate bar without thinking of you. So I left Wammy's but I
still couldn't stop thinking of you." He sighed, heavily.
"I
thought about you often. I contacted Roger once but he said you had
left so I got some of my men to look for you."
"Yeah, I hear you're the Mafia Boss now. I hacked Near's computers." Matt confessed.
"Matt, I know you're angry with me and you probably don't even want to look at me but please don't go back to that shit hole. Apartment – I meant apartment." He said placatingly. "It's old and dirty. It has rats and I know for a fact that there are three killers living there."
"I don't care it's mine and I need to go back now!" Matt yelled, finally turning to look at the blonde. The shakes in his hands were spreading and his body was beginning to ache.
Mello looked at him carefully. "You've been using haven't you?"
"So what if I fucking have? It's not like you'd care."
"You're wrong about that." Mello got up to stomp out the door.
Matt held his head in his hands. Damn damn damn. I fucked up again.
