Written by McIzzieFan and Adia Rose.
Yup...we're back!
"Ronnie? Ronnie are you listening darling?" Peggy questioned, sighing as she snapped Ronnie out of the daze she seemed lost in. Peggy had been giving an in depth description of the engagement party she planned on hosting for Jack and Ronnie but Ronnie hadn't registered a single word. Her eyes were still glancing over Peggy's shoulder, locked on Stacey, still watching her every move, still waiting for a reaction.
"Sure" Ronnie grunted a rough attempt at acknowledgement that satiated Peggy enough for her to carry on talking, something about it being in the Vic, Ian providing a finger buffet and everyone being invited. Well timed nods and Ronnie could just about get away with not listening, she was getting good at this.
Finally Stacey had enough, enough of all the happy faces and congratulatory cheers, it was all so false it made her feel sick and that combined with the hefty amounts of vodka she'd consumed wasn't sitting well with her. She had to get outside, in the cool night air just to feel free for a few moments. Almost immediately after she'd left, Ronnie darted off after her, Jack wouldn't notice, he was too busy lapping up the attention and offers of free pints from men who would never really be his friends.
Watching for a moment, Ronnie was captivated by the sight of Stacey almost dancing out in the street. Her arms outstretched, waiting for whatever life would bring her, she was simply along for the ride. "How can I be happy?" Stacey asked, her back turned to her, Ronnie wondered if Stacey was simply delivering her question to the night air or if she knew that Ronnie would have followed her. "Cause you seem to know Ronnie," she turned and the fire blazing in her eyes was frightening, "you seem to have nailed it." Stacey spat bitterly now, the acidity of her words gnawing away at Ronnie's already fragile surface.
"Who says I'm happy?" Ronnie challenged, not knowing how to react to the question so keeping herself guarded, her hand reaching out for Stacey's shoulder. Stacey shuddered at the touch pulling away.
"Getting engaged, starting a new life. That's all happiness Ronnie, that's a new beginning. Soon you'll be having kids and it'll be so easy just to replace Danielle." Her voice was like ice and venom but so small. Stacey shuddered even at the mention of her best friends name, it still hurt too much but clearly it didn't effect Ronnie at all.
"That's not fair" Ronnie muttered quietly, turning her back on Stacey she made her way over to the bench in the middle of the Square, quietly reflecting on Stacey's words and how they echoed her own thoughts. Replacing Danielle, was that what she was doing? She needed this baby, it was more than a want, it was an aching, gaping need, a need for Danielle. No, a need for the baby, it was different, it was healthy, it would make it all better, it would make Danielle proud.
"No, you know what isn't fair?" Stacey was barely feet away from Ronnie now and although she was in her own space, Ronnie felt like the girl was bearing down on her, or was that just the guilt?
"What's not fair is having your whole life ripped apart and then taken away at nineteen... Nineteen Ronnie! She'd barely lived, she had so much to do, so many plans. You know she wanted to go bungee jumping? She wanted to travel, said she wanted to 'see the world'. She wanted to live Ronnie. But the minute she stepped foot in this place she lost it all." Stacey growled, so much frustration spilling out she couldn't control the words even though she could see how each and every one was hurting Ronnie.
"Don't you think I know that? Don't you think that haunts me every single day? Don't you think that if I could switch places with her, if I could have died instead of her, that I would?" Ronnie questioned sadly, the pain in her eyes obvious as she looked at Stacey. "I've got to do something, I've got to let Jack look after me and take control. I can't just let this destroy me!" Ronnie almost pleaded to Stacey, looking for some kind of approval from the empty girl that stood in front of her.
Stacey was never going to give it to her though, with anger bubbling up inside all she wanted to do was rip Ronnie to shreds, make her as much of a mess as Danielle had been before she died.
"She wanted to learn to drive, she wanted to, she wanted to get a proper job, she'd never say it, never tell me she wanted better than what I had but I know she wanted it. She had plans for you too…wanted to go shopping with you, go and see shows, live with you. But that's what did all this wasn't it?" Stacey lifted her eyes from the floor to look straight into the eyes of Ronnie. Her voice was steady and almost deathly calm now, "She wanted a family Ronnie, she wanted to get married and have kids. She wanted to be a mother and you stole that from her. You took it all." Ronnie blanched at the words and although the pain was unbearable, no tears came, it was as if she had cried all that she had and now an emptiness was all she had left, all that she was.
"I know…" Ronnie tried to speak but was cut off immediately by Stacey.
"No. No you don't know." Ronnie shouted and the words seemed to echo eerily, Ronnie didn't know whether it was echoed throughout the Square or merely inside her head.
"You're pathetic and weak Ronnie, you're always relying on other people, using them. Blaming them... If you'd have been a little stronger, stood up to your dad, listened to the one person who gave a damn about you then she'd still be here now. You're the only one to blame." Stacey uttered her words slowly so that each and every one would have a shattering impact, piercing Ronnie's fragile exterior. Ronnie opened her mouth to utter a reply but was stopped by the sound of Jack's booming voice interrupting the moment completely.
"Ron? Ron what you doing out here?" Jack asked, eyeing his fiancée's pale face and shocked expression and then looking at the messed up blonde girl that stood in front of her that he assumed had caused such a look. Grabbing Ronnie's arm forcefully he asserted his presence, pulling Ronnie away as Stacey gave her the most intense look that said more than words ever could. Stacey walked away, leaving Ronnie to have to pretend all alone.
"Get inside and sit down, I'll get you a drink" Jack instructed as they walked through the door back into the Vic. His words being overheard by Roxy who watched as her sister did precisely what she was told without as much as an argument.
It wasn't something Roxy was used to, her sister was strong, fierce, the kind of person that submitted to no-one. Not a man, not family, not friends. Ronnie was the strongest person she knew but here she was doing precisely as she was told, almost looking to Jack for approval to even drink the drink she was given. She looked meek and broken, Roxy couldn't place what Ronnie reminded her of, or who but it wasn't good. Roxy just stared at Ronnie who had her head bowed and was giving placating smiles to Jack. It was pathetic and at the same time terrifying, Roxy wanted to jump in and shake Ronnie, shout at her and ask her precisely where her backbone was, scream at her and ask what had happened to her. But she knew what that would look like, jealous Roxy throwing a tantrum. There was nothing she could do, not until Ronnie could see that everything was wrong.
"Jack, mate. Just wanted to say congratulations, from all the family" Charlie smiled, outstretching his hand to shake Jack's. Jack smiled gratefully, Charlie had helped him win back Ronnie and he was incredibly thankful. Charlie gazed down at Ronnie who hadn't said a word since her confrontation with Stacey, "you deserve a bit of happiness darling. Danielle... Danielle would be proud of you love" Charlie stuttered a little on the name of the girl he'd brought into his home and learnt to love like a member of his own family. Ronnie looked up at him gratefully, it was a gesture that meant a lot even if she didn't believe him.
"Yeah right" Mo coughed in the background, more than a little tipsy she was hardly in control and couldn't stop the words of truth spilling from her mouth. Ronnie dipped her head in shame knowing that a drunken Mo was more than a little accurate. Charlie shot her an apologetic glance before dragging Mo away. Ronnie was granted little peace though, a moment after Charlie had gone Peggy reappeared to begin yet another assault of engagement party madness.
"Ronnie darling, I've been speaking to Ian about the buffet. I had a word with Zainab as well, I mean it's completely up to you but I think maybe an Indian buffet would be nice, a little classier than sandwiches." Peggy started to rant again, completely oblivious to the fact that Ronnie was upset.
"Classy? Didn't think the Mitchell's had any idea what class was!" Janine piped up, shooting a smug look in Peggy's direction before her eyes met Ronnie's. It didn't matter how much time passed, whenever Ronnie saw those eyes they could do nothing but remind her of that night. The night that Janine took her child away, it had been sorrow and regret she'd seen but since then that had been covered with something else, something harder and colder. Maybe it was a defense, maybe there was a human being in there somewhere but somehow Ronnie doubted it.
"Janine! I will ask you this once and once only! Get out of this pub before I rip your head off!" Peggy snapped, looking pretty terrifying and daunting for a woman of such a short stature. It never failed to amaze or impress Ronnie the power and strength her aunt possessed. "Peggy come on, that's not a nice way to talk to me. I'm just here having a little drink, not hurting anyone" Janine smirked, sipping at her vodka she tried to avoid Ronnie's glance.
"Oi! You heard, get out" Roxy spat, walking round the bar she removed the glass from Janine's hand and slammed it down on the bar before pulling her towards the door. Roxy was fuming. How could Ronnie sit there and accept it all. Roxy had stood aside and watched her yield to Jack, simply bend to his every demand, she had watched Ronnie just sit silent at Mo's cruel words but now this. This wasn't Ronnie and as much as Roxy tried to suppress it she was scared. Ronnie seemed to have completely given up. Every gesture, every expression seemed to admit defeat and putting up with the taunts of the very woman who had killed Danielle was a step too far. If Ronnie wouldn't fight then Roxy would damn well fight for her. Janine certainly wasn't impressed with being forcibly ejected and made her feelings known by shoving Roxy.
All Ronnie could do was watch as she observed her little sister pulling the hair of and scratching at the face of the woman who had killed, albeit unintentionally, her daughter. Janine retaliated, punching and shoving, ripping as Jack tried to pull the two women apart, Roxy's top ripping and resulting in the sound of cheers that emanated from the crowd of punters in the Vic, more than happy to enjoy the show. It was not the first catfight to happen and with the Mitchell's in charge it was hardly going to be the last.
"Gerrout!" Peggy hollered, assisting with throwing Janine out. Walking back into the bar she gave a look to the crowd that basically told them all to carry on with business as usual. Ronnie watched blankly as Tracey rolled her eyes before moving over to continue serving. "Every happy event, every good occasion, always has to be ruined by drama! Why can't anything ever run smoothly?!" Peggy raged, it was clear exactly what she was talking about and Ronnie shot her a look. It was meant to be anger but she could only get halfway there, instead all Peggy could see was the crushed look on her nieces face that made her immediately regret her insensitive words.
"I'm sorry darling" Peggy hushed, a gentle smile as she tried to repair the hurt. "Why don't we move this upstairs, we can talk about the party and about the wedding without all the interruptions."
Jack nodded clearly thinking this was a good idea but Ronnie couldn't manage it, not yet. Slipping outside with barely a word of an excuse, she needed air to think straight again, gulping it in greedily she relished how cool it felt in comparison to the heat and stench of alcohol and stale sweat that lingered inside the Vic. It was barely any time at all before she was interrupted once again, Jack standing over her, looking at her like she was a complete stranger to him, he just couldn't understand any of it.
"What's going on?" Jack asked, he wasn't even trying to hide his annoyance.
"Just needed a bit of air" Ronnie replied, staring straight ahead she tried to relax but couldn't with Jack staring daggers at her. "Ronnie! Seriously could you look anymore unhappy?" Jack snapped, placing a forceful hand on her shoulder so that she would meet his glance. "I just…it's too hot in there I just felt…I just wanted some air." Ronnie whispered, barely audible she knew it was pointless explaining any of this to Jack.
Running his hand through his hair, Jack let out an exasperated sigh before glaring back at Ronnie. "Just snap out of it alright?! This is supposed to be one of the happiest days of your life and you're moping around like someone's died!" Jack shouted, immediately regretting his poor choice of words.
"Someone has died! My daughter has died, so I'm sorry Jack, I'm sorry if I'm not…whatever I'm meant to be." Ronnie choked, walking away she refused to let Jack see her cry.
