Warnings: Slash
Disclaimer: I do not own!
A/N: Basically, it's one o clock at night, and I am tired... Therefore, I must apologize for the shortness of this chapter. However, I hope you'll like it.
So... hehe, thank you all for reviewing, and thanks for all the comments about how to imporove!
Btw: Lol, Cid is really... annoying sometimes. But you gotta love him!
Healing
Chapter Seven
"Rythm"
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Cloud was standing by the window, staring out on the dark, starlit sky, muscled, tanned arms crossed over his chest. He did not turn when the door to his and Leon's bedroom open, and yet, Leon knew he was being watched. The small, almost invisible frown that rested on the blond's lips and the cold, unwavering gleam in his eyes gave it away.
The gunblader stood completely still for a moment, unsure of whether he should just leave again or not. He was not ready for this, and nothing, not even Aerith's encouraging words from before could have prepared him for this.
Yet, he knew he had to do this. There was no way around.
As his heart sped up, the dark haired swordsman watched how his silent companion pursed his lips a little, as if he was waiting for something to happen. Or rather, Leon thought, for him to speak.
Well, he was just going to have to open his mouth and get the words out. Now that shouldn't be so hard, should it?
"I—uh... Cloud, listen," he felt his courage slowly leaving him before he'd even started and his frustration grew with every second.
How the hell was he supposed to do this?
Squall Leonheart had never been good at apologizing and rarely did he seek out reasons to do so. He always dodged situation where it would be required of him to apologize in the end and for a good reason too. He was really, really bad at apologizing.
In fact, it was probably only one thing he was worse at; speaking his feelings.
Which, of course, did not make this the slightest bit easier and cursing under his breath, he lifted his chin up, determined not to let this chance slip.
He had to talk to Cloud.
If he didn't do that know, if he didn't explain himself and his actions, the blond would leave Hollow Bastion as soon as his health allowed it, something Leon would never accept. He would not stand by and watch while Cloud hit the road, not without trying his best to stop him first. It wasn't even a possibility. Cloud was going to stay where he was. At least Leon would do anything -he cringed inwardly, damn, this was really difficult- to make the blond stay around.
He was confused and angry.
Confused because he had never felt this way before and angry because he was confused.
He'd never meant for any of this to happen.
He'd never meant to let his heart get this involved! Yes, because by now, even Leon had to succumb to the clean and simple truth. There was not even a point in denying it. Leon knew it and he hated it.
He hated himself for showing this kind of weakness.
Weakness, he associated with Squall, and the man he used to be. Weakness wasn't something he showed anymore and he definitely did not show it to Cloud. Yet, here he was, stuttering, fighting to find his words. All because of said weakness and because he could not let the golden haired warrior before him leave him.
Cloud still had not uttered a word, he just kept staring out the window, eyes fixed on the velvet midnight sky. His cobalt blue gaze had yet to meet Leon's, but by looking at his stiffened back and working jaws, the brunet knew he was listening.
"Cloud, I don't know how to put this, but..." he searched for words, "you... what happened yesterday... I was—"
"Don't." He hadn't seen the blond's lips move, but the word chimed in his ears like an echo. Teeth still gritted, he closed his eyes and sighed heavily. "You don't have to explain yourself Leonheart." Leon cringed a little at the mention of his last name, "I am the one who should apologize."
Wait, what?
"Forcing myself on you like that was..." he trailed off, his gaze wandering to his hands, "I don't know what got to me, I just—"
"Oh, stop it!" The gunblader's fierce order almost made the blond jump. He lifted his head and was surprised to see Leon standing only a few feet away from him, a rather angry expression evident on his features. "You weren't the only one involved! So quit acting as if you were trying to seduce me, Strife!"
As expected, he lifted his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't fucking know what happened back then, and quite frankly, I don't feel like analyzing it more than I've already done. Maybe it was just a search for contact, or...or—"
"Leon." The quiet way Cloud uttered his name made the brunet close his mouth. A bit appalled, he watched as Cloud stepped closer to him, ocean eyes locking with his.
"Listen to yourself." He mumbled, voice mussed like unpolished glass. "You say you don't want to dwell upon it. That you think you're done analyzing it, but apparently, Leon, you're not! And... I don't know where we're heading. I don't know what possessed me to act the way I did yesterday, and I most certainly don't know how we ended up like this. But," he swallowed and Leon could see how a small flush crept its way to his cheeks, "I know that ignoring it won't make it better."
His expression turned almost agonizing and heaving for his breath, he stubbornly held onto Leon's gaze. "I'm not the only one feeling this, am I?"
His shoulders hunched slightly. "You might not want to supplicate it, but something is changing between us and you know it. No matter how much we try to deny it— and we know we're both masters of denial— it will still be there and we won't get rid of it without trying to figure out what it means."
Leon was stunned. This was the first time he had ever heard Cloud speak more than a pair of sentences in one go. He felt himself slowly opening his mouth, but not a sound came out. He just stared at the blond, flabbergasted, as if he'd grown a new set of ears. This was enough to make Cloud snap.
"You know what? Just forget it!" He turned away angrily, once again facing the window. "You clearly don't want to deal with this." He crossed his arms over his chest, "so, why don't you just leave, Leon?"
"Because if I do, then you won't hesitate to do the same thing!" The brunet all but shouted. "And..." his voice dropped again, to the point where it was barely audible, "I can't let that happen."
Cloud turned around, slowly. "What?"
Leon looked shocked by his own words, almost frightened. He raked a hand through his hair and stepped back a little, until he reached the bed. There, he let his knees give in to his weight and sat down, face buried in his hands. He appeared exhausted and Cloud could swear he had never seen the brunet so impaired.
The blond stood there watching him, unsure of what to do, or how to reply to Leon's earlier outburst.
He was not used to handling stuff like this. Especially not stuff like this involving Leon.
"Hey..." he at least managed to murmur. "Hey... I..."
"I'm sorry."
Sapphire eyes widened. "What? You're sorry?"
Leon, face still covered by his palms, raised his head and shook it faintly. "I'm sorry." Before the blond could reply, he proceeded removing his hands and seized Cloud with an intense look.
"You're right." He bit his lip, a gesture that almost made him appear childish and lost, "I don't want to deal with this. I'm... I'm scared Cloud."
A dead silence fell around their ears. Not even the wind was able to squeeze through the closed window and disturb their quiet waiting.
It took him forever to find his voice.
"You—You're scared?"
Leon sighed heavily. "Yes. I'm scared." His eyes met Cloud's, "This feeling that I get around you... it scares me more than I care to admit. I..."
"I know." Cloud was with him in a heartbeat and his hands darted out to grab the gunblader by his shoulders.
"I know Leon. I'm scared too," he squeezed the warm body beneath his palms, "I'm not used to this either. And for the record, I don't even know what this is."
He chuckled softly. "I'm as new to this as you are."
Gently, as if he was afraid of scaring the brunet, Cloud placed a hand under his chin.
Leon, aware of how his heart sped up rapidly, reckoned he should probably be feeling a little undignified by this action, but his mind did not seem to work properly as those brilliant blue eyes were merely inches from his. Breathing raggedly, he tried to swallow before slowly raising his own hands to Cloud's face, cupping his cheeks.
They regarded each other silently for a moment, before Cloud dazedly closed his eyes, while Leon drew him closer. Gently, he placed a hand on the warrior's chest, fingers slowly curling around a strong collarbone.
"Cloud...?" He murmured huskily, allowing his eyes to drift shut as well.
"Hmm?" Was the blond's breathy reply.
He smiled, not bothering to lift his eyelids. "I can feel your heartbeats."
At his words, breath caught in the blond's throat and Leon felt his hand tremble against his cheek. Cloud hesitated for a second, sapphire eyes fluttering open, Leon's gray ones doing the same. The blond hero gazed at the slightly more muscular man in front of him and his bottom lip quivered almost invisibly.
Leon's smile widened at this, and with his blood rushing through his veins, he pressed his palm firmer against the other man's cheek. Cloud immediately leaned into the touch and closing his eyes once more, he let his free hand find Leon's and tuck it closer to his chest.
Their breaths mingled the second before their lips met.
The kiss was like nothing Leon had ever experienced before. It started out gentle, their mouths simply meeting, lips tasting each other, slowly, hesitantly. It was shaking, almost clumsy, and held a softness in it that would not be associated with a warrior.
Fire slithered down Leon's spine and his hands tightened their grip around the blond's face—
"THERE'S A BLOODY FIRE?!"
The two of them jumped roughly and when his forehead painfully connected with Cloud's, Leon cursed Cid with all the power held by his soul.
--TBC
