I don't own Harry Potter, anything you recognise belongs to JKR.

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"What do you mean that you haven't started the assignment!?" She screeched, earning a piercing glare from Madam Pince. I rolled my eyes as I avoided her gaze. She looked a right mess today, it didn't help that her crazy hair seemed to grow frizzier as she got angrier with me.

"I didn't have time. I do have other classes you know." I was lounging back in the chair, "I told you, this wasn't exactly high on my priority list." She pushed hair out of her eyes with a huff of annoyance, Merlin she was bloody annoying.

"Malfoy, you had all day yesterday and most of today! I have already completed mine!" Then her posture shifted. "Harry and Ron have already started theirs." She must have assumed that hearing about how Potter and the Weasley King were working harder at class them him would get some type of reaction. But nothing occurred. She just stomped her foot, huffed- again- and spun on her heal, out of the library.

I watched her leave and was so damn irritated by her, but couldn't bring myself to care. I yawned. I was absolutely exhausted and still had a million things to do. I grabbed my potions book that I didn't even open in my 10 minute tutor session and carefully shoved it back into my bag. I actually had started the paper, it wasn't even half bad, but I really didn't want to have to deal with Granger today. I'll let her stew for a bit, that way when the paper comes back with perfect marks I can watch her make that ridiculous face she gets whenever anyone bests her.
I hiked my bag over my shoulder and started to the Room of Requirement. My mother had sent me a letter about how she hoped things were going well, both with my studies and the mission. Then she proceeded to remind me of the consequences, not just to me but to her and Father, that will occur should I fail. As if I could ever forget, I rubbed my still sore arm and shook my head. It wouldn't do to dwell on that right now.

I am in need of a place to hide things. I am in need of a place where I cannot be found. I am in need of the Room of Hidden Things. The door appeared and I went inside. The room was crowded, packed with the discarded belongings of people, too pathetic to take care of them. An average person would get lost and spend hours wondering this place, but not me. I had been here every single day since I got back to Hogwarts. I knew every path, and the only one that would lead me to the place that I desperately wanted to avoid. Unfortunately, that was exactly the place that I was spending all of my time. Left, left, right, right, left and straight ahead. The box stood there, fitting in perfectly to the surroundings, yet looking like a giant red mark on a whiteboard to me. The etching on the panels of the cabinet could have been beautiful, if the purpose for them weren't as ugly as the task I was sent with was. The wood was still cracked and lacking luster, but that isn't why I was here to repair it. The Dark Lord gave me a task, get Deatheaters into Hogwarts. No matter what.

We were lucky, he whispered, that Draco is such a gifted member of our order. He was just using me. I knew it. He knew it. Yet, I was still expected to act honored, never scared. There was only ever one path that I was supposed to take, this is what I am supposed to be. I hated everything; this box, the mark on my arm, my family.

I hated my very soul most days.

It was just a stupid incantation that was supposed to repair the blasted thing, but no matter how many time I uttered the phrase, nothing happened. After that idiot Motague told me about this cabinet, I figured it would be a quick and easy fix. I could get it done, kill Dumbeldore and walk away. Borgin said the box could be finicky, I am sure the cracked and splintered wood had something to do with it too,

I pulled out my wand and held it to the cabinet.

"Harmonia nectere passus. Harmonia nectere passus." The wood shimmered slightly, a sudden hope flared inside me, but it died just as quickly as the shimmer. I cursed. I picked up a random object and chucked it hard against the wall. I was breathing hard, I felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest. I just wanted to scream.

So I did.

When my voice was scratchy and my throat was raw, I turned back to the cabinet. I laid my head against the wood and repeated the spell over and over. I repeated it until the words sounded foreign and fake, until the sun was gone, until it was so late I debated just staying up the rest of the night. I sat on the ground, leaning against the table near the enterence of the room, I finally broke and let tears fall.

He was going to kill us all.

I groaned, loudly as Potter and Weasley started shouting at the professor. Slughorn had just announced that I "just absolutely must sit next to Ms. Granger" so that she can correct any mistakes that I make in real time. She simply rolled her eyes and sat next to me, but her loyal hounds were throwing a major hissy fit.

"Well, now Harry," Slughorn said with a wide, undeterred smile, "would you rather Mr. Malfoy sat next to you? You were my first pick for his tutor after all." The class giggled slightly at that and I plastered a sharp sneer on my face to anyone that dared look at me.

Potter and Weasley shut up pretty quick after that, thank fucking merlin. But I kept seeing them shooting daggers at me while sending apologetic glances towards the annoyed witch at my side.

We didn't speak at first, we didn't glance at each other, it was all I could do to keep from bumping into to her. I just wanted her away from me. I started thinking about a way to get out of this class, maybe ask Snape to excuse me or-

She grabbed his hand and jerked it away from the pot. I yanked my hand out of hers, disgust all over my face.

"What the fu-"

"Malfoy! Do you realize that you almost did? You started stirring clockwise!" She held up the potions book and flopped it around in my face. I ground my teeth together. "It clearly says counter-clockwise or you could cause it to become unstable! How could you be so stupid!?"

The whole class was looking at us now, but all I could see were her angry eyes glaring up at me.

"Don't. You. Dare. Touch. Me. Again."My voice was low and ice cold, I knew that I would look intimidating, towering over her short frame. I saw her resolve shake, but only for a moment, before she squared her shoulders and continued to glare. I shook my head and sat down on the stool. "I don't care about this stupid potion anyway." I knew I sounded like a insolent child, but I just wanted to leave. I was tired, and I just wanted to be done. I didn't want to be myself, I was drained of being that person. But sometimes we don't pick our own masks.

I closed my eyes and put my head on the desk. I felt Granger flop down in her chair and reach for a vial to make samples out of her potion. The class returned to their own potions, but I am sure there were still people glancing back at us anyway. Right before the end of the class Granger bumped into my shoulder.

"Hey. Take this." she said it softly.

I sat up and saw that she had bottled a sample of her potion for me to turn in. Was she seriously helping me right now? Part of me knew that I should say thank you, part of me wanted to, but there was no way. I raised one eye brow and smiled cruely at her. "What makes you think I want your pity, Granger?"

"It's not pity," she said, rolling her eyes and then labeling the potion with my name anyway, "it's self-preservation. I told you, how you do in class reflects on me. Even more so now that I am your potions partner." She sat the vial down in front of me and then start to completely avoid looking at me. She started chewing on the side of her lip. I wondered if she was even aware of it. "Actually, maybe there is a little pity too. You do look really tired."

I blanched. Was it that obvious?

"Well, I am not." I snatched the vial anyway though, "Since you clearly ruined my potion when you grabbed me, and I am likely to think it was sabotage, I will take this anyway."

I strolled to the front of the class and, with much flourish, dropped the vial into the can for the assignment and strolled out of the classroom. Maybe now I could go get some sleep.

AN:

Hey! I want to start by saying thank you to everyone! I love getting emails saying there is a new review, or favorite, or follow. It really makes me excited to share this story with you. So since I had the last couple chapters mostly publish ready, they happened a lot faster than I thought. The chapters after this will be coming at about once a week, probably fridays or saturdays.

I hope you enjoy this chapter. I felt like we needed to see how Draco was feeling in the beginning, so that when his feelings or thoughts start to change later, we see the progress. This chapter is a little shorter than the others, but the rest of them should be at least 2,000.

I don't have a beta reader yet, so any mistakes you find are very much mine. Please let me know if you see any, also let me know if you are interested in being a beta reader for me! I would absolutely love to have someone to bounce ideas off of.

Okay, this is getting a little long, so I will see you next time!

QUICK UPDATE 6/30/18 I found my story notes and realized that i already fudged the time line a little bit already. All the chapters are going to be updated real quick to make sure the timeline fits. A new chapter will be up by next week, if not sooner, but I want to do this first, before I confuse myself. Thank you!

Ali