The news about Katie had spread fast, by the morning the whole school knew about it. Everyone kept craning their necks at breakfast to see if she would somehow appear in the Great Hall, like nothing happened. Harry had to deal with people asking questions, but he adamantly refused to talk about it. I had a feeling that had less to do with Harry being protective over Katie and more to do with him being embarrassed about having drunk so much and subsequently pointing the finger at Malfoy. Leanne was dismissed from classes for the day, so no one saw her or was able to ask her about how she thinks things happened. Out of everyone in the school though, only four people wouldn't talk about it. Draco Malfoy and his friends seemed to be too cool and calm to be worried about what had happened, and they told people the heard to bugger off about it. It was rather a strange turn from Draco's reaction to hearing about Katie yesterday.
I was sitting in the common room before potions and pretending to be too engrossed in my book to hear Harry continue on his anti-Malfoy theories. Ronald at least had the good sense to not engage with Harry's ideas, as much as I am sure he had considered such things in his own mind. The truth was I couldn't help but think Harry was extremely off on this, not that I could tell him though. I saw how worried Draco was when he found out that Katie had been hurt. To me, that proved that he cared about her on some level- it wasn't my place to try to guess how much- so therefore he would never have put her in danger. But if I told Harry any of that he would have considered me mad and thought I was losing it for talking to Malfoy alone. For me, there was someone else out there, much scarier than Draco Malfoy could ever hope to be, that would try and use students to hurt Professor Dumbledore. I was worried about myself, sure, but I was even more worried about my friends. Harry and Ron always seemed to have a knack for getting themselves into the most dangerous situation possible, so it was my job to help keep them safe.
The bell rang and Harry offered his hand out to me to help me up. I shoved everything into my bag and accepted it, thanking him as I got my balance and started towards Potions class. The first thing that I noticed was Draco laughing at something that Blaise Zabini had said. Clearly he was already over the whole Katie thing. I wondered slightly if he had been able to contact her and that was why he was so much better than the last time I had seen him. The second thing I noticed was Blaise Zabini lounging in my seat next to Draco. I rolled my eyes and pulled my bag more securely on my shoulder and walked to them with my head held high. I dropped my bag next to the side of the desk with a loud thunk and smiled widely, and very clearly fakely, at the pair of Slytherins.
"Hello, Zabini. Are you having a pleasant day?" The smirk that both boys sent me was enough to make me struggle to not clench my hands into fists.
"Oh quite, Granger. I was just telling Draco how I wish a fiesty muggleborn would just present herself to me." Draco snorted and I took a deep breath. Blaise Zabini was as much of a rumored playboy as Draco was. It seemed that he had a different witch hanging off his arm every other month. It wasn't fair that someone as good looking as him had the personality of a blasted-end skwert. He was a deep caramel color, with dark hair, and eyes to match. His eyes may be dark, but the pulled you in like a beautiful trap. He was tall and extremely well built. If he wasn't such an arrogant prick he would have been nearly as attractive as Ron.
"That poor dear, should she appear send her my way so that I can erase you from her memory. I'm sure it wouldn't have been a great experience anyway." I shot back rather haughtly, peeved that he would talk like that to me.
"I could show you what kind of experience it is, if you want Granger." His expression may have dropped with my words, but his voice was still just as confident and silky as ever.
"Zabini, you wouldn't want to lower yourself so much." Malfoy said with a laugh and shoved him on the shoulder. Blaise smiled, but his eyes remained on me, making me slightly uncomfortable as he was clearly checking me out. I huffed and shot a look toward the front of the classroom, hoping that Slughorn would be getting ready by now. No such luck however.
"Pass, besides, I wouldn't want to take away from whoever's week it is." Blaise smirked at me and stood out of my seat and waved his hand to signal me to sit.
"Granger, you could have a whole month if you wanted." He blew me a kiss, and laughed as I visiablly shuttered, and walked back to his assigned seat. I saw him wink at Ron and Harry, who had been unable to hear the conversation, but more than able to see my reactions. I saw Harry raise his eyebrows at me, a clear question if I was okay. I nodded back and gave him a smile before plopping down in my chair.
"Your friend is ridiculous, Malfoy." I started while fishing in my bag for my potions book. "There's no way he would last a month with a single girl."
"I agree, he would probably run screaming if you ever actually took him up on that. He starts getting panicky by the end of a week with some of them. He was just trying to get to you." then he smirked at me, "Which he clearly did. Seriously Granger, I didn't know anyone besides Weaslebe could get some red so quickly." I flushed again, cursing my ipale skin for displaying my blush so easily.
"Yes, well, its not like I have been propositioned like that before. It was enough to get anyone a little red." He clearly opened his mouth to retort, but finally- Miraculously even- Slughorn appeared and decided to get the class session underway.
"I wonder how Katie is doing, Harry is supposed to hear from Dumbledore soon maybe he could get an update." I said cautiously, testing his reaction. I could see him school his features and he gave a shrug.
"Not like it matters anyway, she probably shouldn't have tried to open anything that wasn't hers in the first place. Serves her right, in my opinion." He didn't glance at me once, then I could sense his mood sour slightly, and I knew he was full of it. I simply returned my gaze to Professor Slughorn and pulled my parchment out of my bag, figuring that his feelings for Katie were something that I should clearly stay away from.
The class finished swiftly and there was little conversation between me and Draco for the rest of the class. He hurriedly left the classroom without so much as an insult and Blaise swept after him, behind just long enough to salute me for heading off.
"What was that about?" Ron demanded. He clearly had been stewing about whatever happened at the beginning of class. I shrugged, not really wanting to tell the as I knew both of them would overreact.
"Nothing more than the usual. What do you two have planned for the rest of the day?"
"Well we have quidditch practice at 7:30, but nothing really besides that." Harry said leading the way back up to the common room. "I was actually thinking of getting some studying-" instantly my hunches were up.
"If you mean reading that stupid book of yours, that isn't studying Harry. You still don't know anything about this so called half blood prince." I snapped at him. Harry's eyebrows raised in surprise, before his anger caught up.
"Do you really want to fight about this again, Hermione? Didn't we just get into this yesterday?! Why can't you just leave it alone!"
"Because, Harry, it could be dangerous! You play with spells that I have never heard of and-"
"And you have heard of every spell there is, right?" Ron chimed in, angry on behalf of Harry. That hurt, even thought I know Ron will always choose Harry, it still hurt that he never saw it from my perspective.
"No." I snapped back "But I have been looking into this so called 'Prince' name and there is no such person! Either way that is besides the point. Wouldn't it just make more sense to give the book to Slughorn and use the brand new copy that you paid for?"
"So that you can be number one in potions again?" Harry snorted.
"NO!" I seriously felt like ripping my hair out, how do this conversations always seem to spin in circles. "I couldn't care less about getting top marks in Potions-"
"Yeah, right." Ron muttered I gave him and look, but continued talking anyway.
"What I care about is you performing magic based on something someone scribbled into the book. You don't know where it came from, or what this magic can do, and yet you follow it blindly. You could get hurt, or hurt someone else in the process!"By the end of my rant my hands had curled into fists. My nails were digging into my hands with a sharp bite. Didn't that make sense? Didn't Harry realize that he could get hurt, or hurt Ron, or even that he could hurt me? My eyes stung with tears I fought back. All I wanted, all I ever wanted to do, was take care of them. Why did they always make that so ridiculously challenging?
"Whatever, Hermione." Harry rolled his eyes and started walking away and Ron was quick to follow him. "The spell was harmless and you know it. Maybe you should just leave me alone for a while. I'm tired of fighting with you."
I wanted to scream at them, maybe just scream in general. My heart was racing, my head hurt, and I just needed to breathe. I started for the stairs and quickly made my way outside. I didn't go far, sticking close to the castle door. The wind had died down a lot from yesterday, but the cold still clung to the air. The sun was setting, I knew because it was late in the day, but it was hard to tell since the clouds were still so thick and casted grays on the land. The snow in the courtyard had been churned by the feet of hundreds of students, stipping it of its perfect white color, and turning it to mud.
I leaned against the castle wall and pulled out my wand to practice my charm work. There was this spell that created little, almost glass-like, birds that I read about and wanted to try. They of course appeared on the first try and I sighed. They were beautiful little things. I stayed outside till my fingers got numb working on the exact design of the bird, picturing different feathers and sizes. I went back inside happy with my progress, sad about my fight with Ron and Harry, and tired. All I could hope for was that the fight would end quickly and that the rest of the night would be better.
Draco POV
I wasn't exactly lost, I knew that once I reached the main hallway I would be able to find my way back to the stairs, and from the go back to the dungeons. I knew that if I were to start making noise or break something, that someone would hear and be able to locate me easily enough. I knew that. But I was sitting on a staircase I had never seen before, that couldn't have been used in the last decade since it lead straight to a brick wall, far enough from the rest of the castle that I couldn't hear a single person. It was still early enough in the day people should be about, yet it was dead silence here. It was also darker, the candles nearby nearly melted down to the end and the flame was barely strong enough to cast shadows.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. The mantra rang through my head over and over as I struggled to catch my breath and slow my heart. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Tears pooled in the back of my eyes and I fought like hell to not let them flow. I pushed my head deeper into my palms, my fingers covered my ears as if that would block the voices that lived in my mind. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I was sinking into a full blown panic attack and I knew it. A similar one happened yesterday after Granger told me what happened to Katie. NO! I rocked back and forth, my hands traveling up through my hair and grabbing onto the back of my neck as I fought my own thoughts.
I had been fine, most of the day, but there was something in the way that I had reacting when Granger started talking about Katie in potions. I barely had a grip on myself and it took everything in my power to sit there through Slughorn's god awful attempt at a potions lecture. I escapes Blaise as swiftly as I could, almost running through the castle to find a place as isolated as this one.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I would hear from them soon. I dreaded it, not only would they want to hear of the progress that I was making on the cabinet, they would want to know by extension how my mission against Dumbledore was going. They would know about Katie, already, there was no point in trying to save face with that royal screw up. I gasped for breath as I thought about the punishment, that no doubt waited for my to arrive home the moment that I could. The Dark Lord will be keeping a tally and he would deal each punishment out swiftly, probably before my things are unpacked for the holidays. I bit my lip to keep from crying out as the idea of my punishments being inflicted on my mother in my absence. That was always the fear, that is what is motivating me right now to even continue with this mission and not just walk away and tell Dumbledore. The tears flowed freely as my heart started to hurt.
I didn't want to hurt anyone, not Dumbledore, not my mother, and certainly not Katie Bell. I didn't know the girl well enough to wish anything bad on her, but what happened to her was on me. I, and I alone, caused this girl to be in the path of a deadly artifact that nearly ended her life. It was my first near brush with murder and it felt like it was absolutely killing me. I hung my head and allowed the sobs to quietly and they slightly echoed in the hallway. I wrapped my arms tight around my torso and leaned against the wall. I felt empty inside. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
"Malfoy?" I instantly snapped my head up. Her eyes were full of worry and sympathy, coming from her it made me angry (but also kind of relieved? I buried that part deep inside.)
Of course Hermione bloody Granger would find me right now.
AN:
Thank you everyone for your constant support through this story so far. I love getting emails saying that people are favoriting and following it. I am glad to know there are people out in the world that are enjoying the words that I write.
That being said, I would absolutely love to get reviews from you guys! It would make my whole day if you could take just a minute to tell me what you think so far and what you hope to see soon.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Ali
