He didn't hear the door open. All he knew was one minute he was alone and the next someone was stroking his hair.
"I didn't think I'd make you so miserable so quickly." Near whispered.
"It wasn't you. I fucked up."
"Let me see your arm." Near gently took Matt's hand in his own and held up his arm. "It's not too deep so you won't need stitches." Near got up and pulled bandages from the cabinet above the sink. He sat back down, letting Matt use his lap as a pillow. "It's already stopped bleeding." He cleaned up Matt's cuts and wrapped the arm with the bandage.
"I'm an awful person." Matt sighed. "I'm sorry I fucked up."
"You're not an awful person and you didn't fuck up." Near helped him off the floor and to the bed.
"Near, I'm sorry." Matt wrapped his arms around Near and cried.
"So you're leaving me for Mello, then." It wasn't a question. It was a fact. "Before you go, tell me what's wrong with me. What did I do wrong?"
"It wasn't you at all. I'm an asshole. I left Mello because I thought he was just using me to win his stupid fucking rivalry with you." He cried. "And I ended up using you to get back at him."
"It's ok." Near said, soothingly. "I should have known you didn't love me. It's fine really. I've learned not to be disappointed."
Matt shook his head. "That's not true. I do love you. I just…"
"You just love Mello more."
Matt bowed his head in silent agreement. "I'll leave now. Here are you're keys." He reluctantly pulled the keys from his pocket.
"You don't have to leave now. As for the keys, I got the motorcycle and car for you. You can have them."
"I can't take them." Matt shook his head.
"You keep the Ducati." Near smiled. "Please. I hate motorcycles."
Matt smiled through his tears. "Thanks. I think I should leave though. Mello seems to be falling apart without me."
"In that, you are both the same." Near slid off the bed. "I think I should change." There were blood stains all over his shirt. "I'm going back to work on the case. I'll send someone to clean the bathroom shortly. I'll send your clothes over to Mello's apartment as well."
"Don't do that. I can get my own clothes."
"I got them for you so I want you to have them." Near turned to go but Matt caught his arm and spun him around to give him one last kiss.
"Thank you for everything. You made me happy." Matt held him close.
"Apparently not happy enough." Was his voice trembling?
"It wasn't you. I sadistic slightly masochistic bastard who can't decide what the hell to do with my life."
Near pulled away and walked to the door. "Goodbye, Matt."
Matt looked down at his shirt. Those are definitely tear stains. I'm such an asshole. I can't believe I made him cry. I can't change my mind. I have to get back to Mello.
After leaving the key to the Nissan on the bed, he took only his cell phone and goggles and raced down the streets on the Ducati. When he got to Mello's apartment he heard yelling from outside the door but could not make out the words. This was the first time he actually thought about the key Jay had made him and hesitantly put the key into the lock. As soon as he opened the door he had to duck to avoid being hit by a flying book.
"Where the fuck is my gun?" Mello was yelling at the top of his lungs. Still drunk or drunk again. Either way he was drunk and pissed. His back was turned to the door so he didn't see Matt and Jay had probably locked himself in the guest bedroom for some peace.
Matt tried to yell over the noise Mello was creating by throwing and breaking things. It wasn't working. So Matt did the only other thing he could think of. He flew at Mello, taking him to the ground and turned him over on his back. Matt had to sit on him because Mello hadn't yet comprehended who had tackled him.
"Mells, shut up." Matt had to hold Mello's hands down to prevent being hit. "Mells." Look at me." He yelled. It still didn't work. God, he's never going to shut the fuck up. I hope he's too drunk to remember this. Matt let go of one hand and slapped Mello.
"Matt?" Mello finally focused on the red-head. "Oh, shit. I drank way too fucking much."
"You're not hallucinating you dumbass. I'm came back."
"Oh." Mello stared at him. "Can you wait till I sober up and tell me then?"
"Yeah, Mells. I'll wait." Matt got off of his drunken friend and helped him lay on the couch. He smells like hard liquor. It was making Matt sick, emotionally and physically.
Mello reached out a hand to latch onto Matt's wrist. "Are you going to leave again?"
"No, Mells. I'm here for good."
"I'm glad. I thought Santa's evil elf had kidnapped you for good." He mumbled wearily.
"Near's not a bad person. He was very kind and he made me happy for a little while."
"But then you thought about me didn't you?" Mello yawned and closed his eyes. "I'm going to make you happy, Matty. Just wait. I'll give you everything you've ever wanted. You'll see." His words were barely audible, not to mention the slur made it nearly indecipherable.
"I don't want everything, Mells. Just you." Matt whispered.
After making sure Mello was asleep, Matt cleaned up a little and went to see Jay.
"Jay, it's me." Matt knocked on the door. After a few more tries he got worried and opened the door. Jay was face down in the pillows, snoring. "You are the worst fucking adult ever. What kind of adult let's a minor drink and trash the apartment?" He pushed Jay off the bed.
"Fucker, where's my gun. I'll shoot you." Jay grumbled as he hauled himself up. "Oh, it's you. Didn't expect you to be back so soon." He fished around in his pocket and took out a cigarette. "Don't you know it's bad manners to wake a criminal while he's sleeping."
Matt snorted. "You're about as much of a criminal as a stuffed bear. Give me one will you." He held out his hand for a cigarette."
"I'm not giving a you tobacco." Jay lit his cigarette and put the rest of the pack back in his pocket.
"You let Mello drink."
"I have no idea where he got it."
"Fine." As Matt walked out he managed to swipe the pack from Jay's pocket.
"Good to have you back, kid." Jay called.
"Good to be back." Matt lit the cigarette and commenced to cleaning.
