DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto or any song's in this fiction.... I lub et soooooo mushez! XD

Anyvay, This chapter will be about our dear little Yagura

I wanted to post the chapter's close together cause I hadn't updated in a while, so.... Here,

This might even be posted the same time as the last one sooooooo.... shyea

I dunno, not even sure on what I'm writ- okay I got it now XD

I really need to update my other fan fic's (I'm deleteing three already, one that's unfinished with bad grammar, one that is finished with bad grammar that I'll re-post later when I'm in a Sonic mood, and one that's made for my ranting but I have nothing big to rant about but gay right's..... support it.... I'm done...... and trust me, if you dissagree just let me mention that you were searching for a Gaara-Naruto fan fic when you found this, and any Naruto Pop Culture knower know's all fan fic's about them in this never-ending fic a second site are about Gaara going to highschool, getting bullied by Sasuke and getting a crush on Naruto (real story, I was scared to read it, My mom say's I'm the queen of teen angst but frankly.... angsty normal teenage girl's disgust me to the pit's of icky-shut-up-ness.....))..... I just ranted didn't I? okay, stop listening to me and just read this most-likely-painfully-short chapter of probably-not-cool-and-angsty-cute-little-boy-ness...... What was I talking about again?... An' sorry for the bad chapter title, I have low creativity,

-----------------Chapter 5: The Littlest Monster

"I'm ho-" I looked down and Jiraiya was still asleep on the floor.... I'll give him a couple more hour's before I call the hospital, "-me." I finish throwing my back pack on him

----Later

"Every been chewed out by a eight-year-old?" I asked Sasuke three hour's after returning home

"Maybe when Kiba was, but I think I'm older then him, why?" Damn, what's his birthday? crap he's gonna hound me when I forget,

"I just argued with Konohamaru for three hour's about forgetting to call last night," Uhg, mad Kono, NOT good-o,

"You didn't call me either bitch, I was so pissed ah' almost cheated on you,"

"Yeah.... 'bout that..... I don't remember a thing,".....

"Yes, but I almost listened to those annoying Night-Line commercial's.... It's all fun n' game's till a serial killer with your phone number track's you down and slaughter's your granny," Yay, Sasuke's in a good mood.... Crap now I gotta ask,

"Yeaaaah..... What'cha been doin?" Please get the hint please get the hint PLEASE get the hint

"What'cha mean?" D'OH!

"WITH YOUR STUFF 'TARD!" I looked over briefly to see if Jiraiya was awake yet.... Nope,

"....Huh?" Okay now he's just tryin' to piss me off,

".....You know... your RASH!" I yell hopeing someone was near him, particularly Scary-Snake-Lunch-Lady

"Sasu has a rash?" Low and behold, Anko's voice, another voice muttered something and she laughed,

"Shut up, shut up Naruto, Anko... KABUTO STOP LAUGHING!" He yelled and the farther off laughing got even louder,

"Soooo?" I coo,

"..... It's really bad, and the molestation isn't helping," Sasuke was moveing now, and the voice that muttered first distinctly yelled 'Not out loud!' He entered a room and I heard him close the door, "I hate you,"

"I lub you too honey-bun's," I laugh, he growl's and I hear a computer start up,

"Anyway, as for what I'm doing, It's getting really close," He said, I could hear the sound of him typeing on the computer, "Somewhere between my town here and your's," He finished,

"Where are you?" Foster's don't usually go too far to house a kid for a few week's,

"It's a city called Oto,"

"Safe-Oto!"

"Shut up," He said, but I knew he was smileing behind his annoyed stare at the computer, "Anyway, it's just a few mile's away from you, a mansion on the outskirt's of what the kid's in your town call 'The Namikaze Downtown',"

"YOUR IN A MANSION!?" Lucky!

" My room's in.... I dunno how to say it, it's a non-mansiony area of it, where most of the kid's stay most the time, and we need permission to go through a certain point."

"How many kid's are there?"

"He's adobted alot, I'm not even sure I've met all of them," He said, boredly clicking the mouse on un-clickable area's I would assume, like what he doe's when he log's-on just to hog the computer, "He want's me but I'm not giving,"

"Yay's! So the plan on us living in a orphanage the rest of our live's untill we get a job making video game's is on!?"

"...Sure, Naruto, Operation L.I.A.O.T.R.O.O.L.U.W.G.A.J.M.V.G. Is a go,"... How'd he turn that into inital's so fast?!

"...." I had to write it down, "What was it again?" He repeated it for me, (HOW'D HE REMEMBER IT TOO?!) ".... Operation.... Liaortoruulewgahjimvicgah..... GO!"

"Uh-huh,".... Well I was able to say it! so NYAH!

"SASUKE!" I girl voice apparently blasted through Sasuke's door...Damn, I don't think Sasuke jumped, "STOP HOGGING THE PHONE YOU FILTHY FOOL!" Hmm, nasty talker.... Sound's ugly,

"See ya' Naruto, this girl's gonna cut-off my manhood with a spoon,"

"I LUB YOU SAH-SU-GAY!"

"And I love you too Brittney baby,"..... He hung up... Ah man he did NOT just use me to make them think he has a hot blonde girlfriend!?.... Not that Brittney is a hot-blonde name.... even though I CONFIDED IN HIM THAT IF I WAS A GIRL I WANTED THAT TO BE MY NAME!.... I feel so violated,

"Uhhg," I turn around and Jiraiya's getting off the floor finally, "What happened? did I get drunk?" He asked,

"Nah, just Coffee,"

"...Were there women involved?" He asked again

"Nope,"

"...Will you tell people there's women involved?"

"Of course daddy,"

"....I'm gunna go to bed,"

" Okay daddy," He got up, after he closed the door I heard him mumbling something about Banana boat's.... Okay's....

------Next day

"NAAAAAAAAAAAAARUTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I flip outta bed and jump up, I don't recall the last time I had woken up normally. Maybe in the three day's I forgot.... Ah well, "PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE FOR YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOU AGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!"

"Yeah yeah," I opened the door and took the phone, Jiraiya's face showed the result of sleeping on a tile floor for three day's... anyway "Hello?"

"Come to my home,"

"......Is this my stalker?" I ask, haveing no idea who it was and secretly hopeing it was a girl masking her voice as a annoying brittish sounding bra- Ohmygawd...

"It's Yagura you mindless droan,".... He sound's like a friggin Negima character!....I like the manga cause it has more nude scene's (hee hee!) "I told you to come to my house!"

"Why? how? and with what weapon?" I asked,

"Ugh, look out your window you idiot," He said, I do as the scary short-boy said and look out seeing a giant blue limo in the front with people crowded around it... Okay, how doe's this kid know my address?

"...Dude, you scarin' me here,"

"Don't call me dude, a 'dude' is a word for the hair on a elephant's ass," Ohmygawd not only was that a funny fact but he say's 'Ass' like 'Oz' DYAH! He's gotta be brittish! I'm sure if I was a giddy school girl then I'd be pinching his cheek's right now! "Now, go outside, and get in the limo, and COME,"

"What about school?" Looking at the clock I was already late,

"I called you off, I'm the one in the club that can do voice impression's," He said, I could just imagine him pouting, "Now hurry!"

"I gotta get dressed," I said still half-asleep,

"You what?! when'd you wake up?!"

".....After you called," Hey, it's the truth!

"Ugh, never mind just throw on whatever's on your floor and hurry," Well, if you insist

-----Yagura's House

"Why are you wearing a barney T-shirt and swim-short's?" He asked when I got out of the limo,

"You told me to put on whatever was on my floor!" Yeah, Kiba got me a Barney T-shirt for my birthday.... Long story, it's a inside joke,

"Ugh, just hurry!" Geez, what? doe's he want me to hide a body for him?

His house is baby-blue, there's a pool in the backyard the size of Jiraiya's entire aparment (Or bigger) and there's three butler's standing outside, "Nice place," I say stareing wide-eyed,

"That's my father's dog's house you numb-skull!"

"WHAT?!" The 'dog house' was bigger then the Ichiraku and Iruka's orphange put together, and the only other comparison I can think of is the most expensive house in the Life board game,

He led me up a hill to a even BIGGER house, this one was dark blue, had a pond and a pool in the back, and the entire foundation was surrounded with big tree's so crowded together it was like the entrance to a enchanted forest. And then the whole fifteen maid's and butler's outside thing,

The limo had pulled into a big white garage that had about seven other multi-colored limo's inside, "....You the Prez' kid or somethin?"

"No, my father's a Senator,"

"...Close enough.... Do you have half of Disney world in your backyard too?"

"No, I don't know why your so aw-striken, my house is only half the size of Gaara's, and three quarter's of Kirabi's farm house," I then imagined the dog house, his house, Killer's house, and then Gaara's all in a line.... Am I the only one inclass who live's in a dump? "And I know what your thinking, and yes, your the only one that live's in a dump... Beside's Roshi-Sensei," Yay, I feel so loved,

"Well, what did ya' call me here for anyway?" I asked,

"I wanna know how you did it," He opened up a gate that led into the backyard, I swear it would make Micheal Jackson cry with envy, no, no distinct Disney ride's, just a train..... a frickin' TRAIN! With a little annoyed man driveing and EVERYTHING!

"......Can I ride?"

"Are you listening to me!?"

"Huh? oh, right, what were you saying?"

"I said I want to know how you did it!"

"Did what?"

"GET YUGITO ON THE GROUND ALIVE YOU BLIMEY IDIOT!!!"

"..... Oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah," THAT'S what I did in those three day's I do- Okay Yugito kissed me, that must be why Killer has been being all pissy and non-rappy, ".... I dunno, I compared with her I guess," Was that what I did? I remember thinking we were alike.... I think,

"You compared?" He asked leaning agenst a l- okay why is there one of those old-fashioned street lamp's in his backyard?

"Yeah, you know, I think the same thing's wrong with us, it's just that she was reminding me of me," I kept wondering about a buncha mental rocket-science crap that I don't understand but remember Mr. Hatake talking about,

".....Ugh, so un-intelligable, and I thought I might figure something out from you," He said crossing his arm's and walking away, I never noticed but he dresses like a girl, with a green sleeveless turtle-neck and light-brown short's so neat and clean it was like he went into the wash with them,

"Like what?" I asked, what can I teach anybody to do anything other then make- I GOT IT!

"I was hopeing you might know something about all our diagnosis' "

"Ya habba ya wha?"

"Gaara's temper, Yugito's moodwswing's, My issue's, Roshi-Sensei's hot-head, Han's outburst's, Utakata-San's killing second personality, Fuu's rageing power, Kirabi's strange elite ability's... And then there's you," He looked up at me, "We all have the same thing, in diffrent word's,"

"What?"

"Ugh, what is the definition of 'Outburst'?"

"...Uh.... Goin' crazy?....Randomly?"

"And 'Hot-Head' is street slang for?"

".....Goin' crazy randomly?"

"Bingo! you win the prize for smartest dumbass!"

".....But what ab-"

"I AM NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN EVERY LAST DETAIL OF EVERY ONE OF MY SENTANCE'S FOR YOU!"

"..... Okay,"

"I've been trying to find the reason for our most-likely same illness for year's,"

"...How old are you?"

".....Doe's that matter?"

"YES!" I squeed!

"....Eight,"

".....Okay,"

"....Anyway, before I was randomly intturupted. I can't seem to find, compare, or even find a real working treatment for any of it. Untill you came and so easily tamed Yugito in her final stage of 'transfer' "

".....And? it was actually kind of easy, I mean, I said a few thing's and she came to me, like in a intervention or whatever,"

"Ugh, but you don't understand, the last time Yugito got herself in a situation like that she fell eight story's and almost died!"

"You kidding?!"

"No, Naruto, I don't know how, but you got through to Yugito somehow, it was strange, unexplained, and probably accidental but you broke through," Whoa, really? so, what? I'm like, special or something? "And your personality isn't far from Kirabi's, so I don't think it was charm,"

"Heehee! Yay! I'm unique!"

"...A very big word for such a tiny little man,"

"EXCUSE ME?! Your barely past my knee-capp's!"

"Please don't exagerrate, I'm at you shoulder's, and beside's, I have age as an excuse, and what do you have? And don't think your spiked up hair and 'handsome smile' make's up for it,"

"Oh shut up,"

"...Naruto," His tone went back from snotty to serious,

"Yeah?"

"What are the line's on your face?" He pointed to my cheek's, there was a statue of a angel holding a mirror and I looked at it to confirm him,

"These? I think they're birthmark's or something,"

"Did your parent' have simular?"

"No," Actually, it was the only thing keeping me and my dad from looking like twin's, from what I could see from the old picture's of my dad as a little kid lying around Jiraiya's apartment.

"Have you ever noticed that each member of the R.D.C. club has a strange characteristic?"

"Like what?"

"Gaara's eye's, and not to mention the kanji on his head?"

"Oh yeaaaaaah,"

"It's not a tattoo, and those with insomnia don't have such severe bag's. Then there's Kirabi's facial mark,"

"The horn's?"

"Yes, he was born with it, and what color are my eye's?"

"....Red," Creeeeepy,

"And Fuu's are?"

"Same?"

"Very good, now, look under my left eye," I got in closer and there was a small mark like a scar that trailed all the way down from his eye to his neck,

"I was born with that, then there's Utakata-San's eye's, Han's size, Roshi-Sensei's 'birthmark' on his nose and his hair that won't stay down-" Heh, he look's like a chicken, ex-di! "- and what doe's Yugito look like to you?"

"A cat, " I mumbled, realizeing just now about her up-turned eye's with cat-pupil's and thin face.

"There you go," He explained, "There's something strange or eerie about each of us, which lead's me to believe tha-"

"Don't you ever have any fun?"

"... Excuse me?" He asked, I laughed when he looked at me like I was more of a maniac then I already know I am

"We already know what's goin' on with us, not the exact greek word for it, but we know, so why not put it past us and just live?" He stared at me like I was a raving hobo, which made me want to laugh even more. "Come on! F is for friend's who-"

"DON'T YOU DARE SING!"

".....- do stuff together! U is for you and me!"

" 'You' doesn't start with 'U' "

" N is for anywhere at anytime at all down here with my best buddie!" Oh geez, me and Konohamaru still sing this to Sasuke when he's being a doodie head,

"And 'Any' doesn't start with 'N' "

"Oh WHA! go play with your test tube's and poli-walker's... I'm gonna ride the train!" I ran over to the train and jumped on, the annoyed driver pulled the lever and it sped off... Slowly,

I looked back and Yagura had a total 'WTF?!' look on his face

-------------Later

"And today my dear lady's and gent's, I'll be makeing my most famous and beloved recipe, vomit,"

"How did you get into my house!?" Yagu-Chan ran inside after finding me, his house is huge I tell ya, I got lost and I swear if there wern't about four of them I woulda never found the kitchen. His various maid's and butler's stood around and stared at me, don't ask why I'm doing this, I have simply crossed into the hyper stage of weirded-out-ness.

"First, I need a pan," One of the more playful maid's handed me a pan giggleing, "Now, all you need are regular household item's, such as extra-chunky soup, of whatever is likely to be in the maker's stomach,"

"Are you high!?" He asked as another butler joined in and handed me a can, I put it in and continued my pretend show,

"Then, you need some nice oatmeal, for a thickener," I put it inside,

"And finally, for that racidy vomit smell, I usually use some good old vinegar!" I poured some in, adding more oatmeal and then holding my masterpiece up for all to see, "And now, you will all see it's most wonderful use," I walked over to Ya-guey, he continually asked what on earth I was doing and I made the BLEC-ing motion of pouring the pan onto his head.

------------Later

"Never, and I repeat never will I bring you into my home again," He said, he had looked me into his bedroom as he took a shower, he came out re-dressed in jean's so crisp and neat they didn't look like jean's, and then a plain green T-shirt, " Your intolerable you know that?"

"Where's your parent's?" I asked, probably pissing him off by laying on his super-neat'n'tidy bed,

"My mother died long ago and my father goe's on business trip's, and don't take me for the sad and lonely rich boy cause my father's such a whiney sissy that I have to force him to go half the time," I looked at him, he glared back... I am NOT getting off the bed if that's what he want's,

".....Sooo.... I guess this is the part in the movie where I ask if your lonely but since you already proved your anti-social.... " I tryed to ignore him by playing some nice emo-boy music,

The I.V. and

Your hospital bed

This was no accident,

This was a theraputic chain of event's

This is the scent of dead skin

On a linolium floor

This is the scent of quarentine wing's

In a hospital room

It's not so pleasant

And it's not so conventional

It sure as hell ain't normal but

We deal we deal

Just sit back sit back

Just back and relax

Just sit back sit back

Just sit back and relapse again

You earned your spot

In the I.C.U.'s hall of fame

The camera's caught you

Causeing a comotion on the gurney again

Can't take the kid from the fight

Or take the fight from the kid

sure as hell ain't normal

but we deal we deal

Can't take the kid from the fight

Can't take the fight from the kid

Can't take the kid from the fight

Can't take the fight from the kid

It sure as hell ain't normal

But we deal we deal,

"I'll go ride the train now," I went over to the window and jumped out onto the roof,

"Are you crazy?" He asked more calmly then I figured,

"Nope," I did this all the time with Kiba, I jumped off the roof and landed right into the train again. Now, THAT I never did with Kiba, but I felt frisky, and I landed it streight without breaking anything... ANYWAY,

Yagura quickly joined me, now he seemed to have went into the silent stage of weirded-out-ness, after the train went for a while I jumped off and ventured into the wood's in the back,

A little way's into the place there was a opening, it was round and green with wild flower's of pretty color's scattered around like a cliche painting, then there was a pond with lily pad's the size of chair's around in the water, cat tail's and dragonfly's decorated the back of it, and the tree's broke in a way that made the light shine down perfectly around the place,

"Naruto?" Yagura called me back, I followed knowing Jiraiya may have (or not) noticed my missingness by now, but vowed to later explore the little paradise,

------------Later

"You frighten me Naruto Uzumaki, you truely do," Yagu-Chan said when he dropped me off back at Ichiraku,

"Thank's for letting me raid your place!" I said,

"...Yeah.... Nice, talking, I suppose, Naruto Uzumaki," He got back inside the limo that was now a orange one, and left.

I skipped giddily inside, entering, Jiraiya was stareing at the TV,

"How ya' doin' Jir-geez?" I asked,

"I'm almost done with my next manuskript, I just need to make sure the exact sound you should make after a bad counter-clockwise swirl... Bad good I mean,"

"Okay, I would assume it's a ah-ha-hun-hummm-sa-kaahhh, like noise,"

"......EUREKA!" He ran into his room, but I still got coin's outta my room for the payphone,

---------Outside

"And then I gave Jiraiya the- apparently- perfect idea for one of his porno book's," Konohamaru had talked my ear off for two day's worth so I just blocked it out and after Konohamaru stopped to take a breath tell him I was low on change, anyway, Sasuke was packing to go back to Iruka's tomarrow so I just told him about my day not sure wether or not he actually had the phone to his ear and felt only slightly like Kono,

Sasuke's 'delayed' reaction showed he probably had the phone on his table as he folded his clothe's, "Hn, yeah, interesting, " .... Jackass,

"Hey, are you listening?!"

".....Nah," I pouted, like he saw me,

"Hmmm, come on! where's Scary-Snake-Lunch-Lady? she's actually fun!..... F is for violet's! do all about it's!" I was surprised he let me continue, " You is for U-KAH-LAY-LEEZ! N is for nose picking..... SOMETHING and SAND LICKING down here with my BEST BUDDIE!"

"F is for fire, that burn's down the whole town, you is you uranium, BOMB'S! N is for no survivor's when we're all done," Ah geez I totally just set him up for that

"NOT LIKE THAAAAAT!" Did I hear? did I just hear a CHUCKLE!? did my little Sause-Gay-Kun just CHUCKLE?!

"I'll talk to you tomarrow, N-" A door opened and some one called for him "... I'll talk to you tomarrow Naruto-Kun, now they're trieing to get me to stay again, but operation Lily-ai-oh-tow-rule-uw-ga-ji-mh-vi-ga is still a go," ...... Damn him,

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

YAYZ! New chapiter!

anyvay's, I want to put more of the novel-concept into here, so that it's not like the weird idea of a annoying fangirl,

but anyway, this was REALLY just a info chapter, Sasuke gave info as to wha-tha-fuk he's doing, Yagura gave info on wha-tha-fukz goin' on, and Naruto gave info on how to make FAKE VOMIT! (Which I almost forgot was supposed to be a big pun in here, also, disclaimer, the recipe is from a Simpson's Comic,)

Now, I need to show some more SCI-FI and ANGSTYNESS in here... but I don't like writeing big depressing thing's, so I can't assure anything really 'OMFG EMOZ!' till, once again, chapter 12,

Thank you my loyal ( but still sadly few -_- ) Fan's! plz keep reading well into this story's SEQUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOOKIT MEH! LOOOOOOKIT MEH! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKYZ!: Anyway, another change is, the first chapter label's the six-tailed beast as a fish, but Taifuu's animal will now change to a bird, because I had too many slimey beast's already, but yeah, I'll be SOOO friggin pissed if they reveil the name's of these character's, cause it'll make me want to re-write the whole thing... (And then no Taikun-Kun or You-Yu joke's!)

(Another note) As you know I changed all there name's...... luckily I can swab out Yu-You jokes for Han-hand-and jokes. and 'Taifuus' Utakata jokes make up for Taikun-kun ones,