DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything in here, but some name's....
YAYZ! PIENESS!
Okay, now, I've been wanting to write this chapter, so I'll just tell ya'll my view on the Bond's chapter's
Gaara's: (Done) BOOOORING, more about Yugito then him, I am just no longer interested in Gaara ever since Shippuden. Yugito's: (Done) She's actually what inspired the entire fic, and her bond's chapter was the first I came up with, I think I was watching a high school movie when I got the concept, might've been Mean Girl's (bleh) or somethin. Yagura's: (Done) I forced it, and I rushed the ending cause I wanted to update quick, I found it corny. Roshi's: (Being done) Second one I came up with, he just seem's like a perverted old man don't he? playing my Bully game gave me my inspiration. Han: (Not done yet) I'm frusterated with Han because I'm makeing him alot like Jugo, when he doesn't seem like the looks-mean-but-isnt-type, so I plan to make him more like Frankenstine XD. Utakata: (Not done yet) I have already completely planned out his chapter, it will be short, but he's supposed to be comicly emotionless. Fuu: (not done yet) Not totally sure what to write for her yet, something angsty, with so many pop culture refference's that only I can understand them ( like the rest of this fic!). Kirabi: (not done yet) I lub hem su mushez -_-; not sure quite yet, but I have gotten inspiration for at least one scene for haveing to ride the bus. Naruto: (Not done yet) Yes, Naruto get's to Bond with himself, (kinda) If you've been listening to my Author Note's then you know that it's mainly about Sasuke.... (WHICH MIGHT MEAN SOMETHING!) ....? Anybody read this? ello?...... *sniff* I want more fan's,
------------------------------------------------Chapter 6: The Lonely Monster
Ugh, Sasuke's SOOOOO smart! He's SOOOOOOO talented! He's SOOOOOO CU- I won't finish that one,
I slammed the phone dow, and stomped up the Ichiraku stair's without taking a second glance at Ayame, I opened the door and the phone was ringing, still raveing pissed I rip it off almost breaking it, "Hello?"
"Hello Naruto," Gaara's voice say's,
"Gar? whatchu' callin' for?"
"I noticed you wern't in school today so I wanted to send you a message," He said, sounding like he was calling only because he had nothing else to do in his what I've resently found out as GI-NOR-MOOS mansion!
"What is it?" Now too lazy to remember I'm supposed to be pissed,
"...What cha' doin'?"
"....Nuh-ten?" Okaaaaay,
"......Good,"
"You gonna tell me now?"
" I'm not good with the whole aspect of 'comunication'," He explained,
".... You can start with getting what you were gonna say over with,"
"...School's not gonna be in tomarrow,"
"Awsome,"
" 'Cause Utakata attacked the cheerleading squad,"
"....And?"
".... I .... Also made the scoreboard fall down,"
"How?!"
"..... I looked at it,"
"....Want me to ask how again?"
"..... Your my friend right?"
"Yeaaaah,"
".....There's a voice in my head screaming right now,"
"Mr, texa's car salesman?"
"Uh-huh,"
".....Tell him to stop throwing thing's out your ear,"
"....Thank's Naruto..... Bye now,"
"Okay, go lay down," He sounded unbelievably creeped,
"Night' Naruto,"
"Night," He hung up and I imagine he proabably fainted dead-away, I never heard Gaara sound so weirded out before, this must be what I was like watching Yugito.... I wonder if I'll soon get super-strength and be able to move thing's with my mind?
"DONE!!!" Jiraiya kicked down his bedroom door and held a stack of paper's up, "I'M DONE WITH MY MANUSKRIPT!!!!"
"......Interesting," I said, now creeped out myself,
I think I'll take my own advice now and lay down... On the kitchen floor,
---------------------------------------Next Day
"Wha happened?" I asked after I got off the floor,
"No women were involved," Jiraiya whom was sitting in his chair assured. I then recalled Gaara's phone call.... Maybe I should of listened more too Yagura's sci-fi doctor talk, he's probably haveing a field day with this info.... Okay good I remember my birthday, "Are we feeling alright Naruto?" He asked, not even turning from the TV,
"....Did you go to collage?" Like, rocket science collage perhap's?
"I know what pi equal's."
"That being?"
"Yummy-ness," He replied smileing,
"....Yes, yes it doe's." I crawled over to my room,
I'm not sure what day it is, or even if I have missed school or not. I pull myself onto my bed and tug down a Bleach calendar I put up recently, and according to Orihime it's Friday, which mean's that I can still manage to pull off the 'I didn't know we had school on friday's here' excuse, even though I've already attended on a Friday, I think I can manage to sweet-talk principal Tsunedere Tsunade into believeing me, or at least not caring enough to not yell at me, and then if all else fail's there's the automatic, 'just get the hell outta my office' part that may or may not be set into motion before I even play plan A.....No, wait.... Oh yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, no school anyway, Okay, forget I was talking,
Okay... yup, my birthday's on sport's day, I can relax.... Oh, wait, the telepathic thing, crap,
I'm tempted to search online for answer's but instead of going all 'Bella search's Vampires' on myself then I'll just cheeeeck... Nothing on Deivant Art for the first time, okaaaay..... Sims!
I was never so thankful that Shino was such a nerd in my life, he raised the money for Sims 3 and when he got it had to share it with everybody, ex di to that! So I got on my site, and wasn't surprised that in my absense Sasuke (Usually consumed with makeing fantasy house's) had hacked onto my account and made sure to put every gay artical of clothing, every Sanjaya inspried hair-don't, and every guy-pregnancy movie on my favorite's, maybe I shouldn't make all my password's 'RamenSlurper2000'? and I thought putting capital letter's in it would never allow any theif to figure it out!..... Oh, wait, maybe Shino hacked on.... Yup, must be from when I stepped on his bug's, sunglasses, and accidnetally deleted the town that he had completely made from scratch and was one hundred percent perfect and- Why am I talking about Sims like a nerd? I'M A GLEEK!
Anyway, Jiraiya knock's on my door and I grunt him allowed in, "Naaaarutoooo,"
"Phone for me?"
"Nope, I'm takeing the manuskript to my editor so I need you to watch the house while I'm gone, if you leave you need to lock the door and press 6686 on the security pad under the mailbox," Whoa, nice pre-caution's,
"Why? you got gold and drug's stashed here somewhere?"
"Nah, I just have alotta fan's that would die for a peek at my next novel," Jiraiya giggled, and apparently off his Coffee high left, and I made a un-needed mental note that I never again would see that man in something as decent as jean-short's and a T-shirt,
---------------Later
I played around on the computer for a while, posting a much-needed Deviant journal entry and disposeing of all the gayness Shino cursed my Sims page with. I later check on my Neopet's, yes, I have Neopet's, mainly because it's impossible for them to die and I can forget about and neglect them all I want and then go back and they'll only be sick, and then easily cured by a few trip's to the Soup Fairy. Other stuff I did was tag people with my zombie address so I could eat their brain's. In other pop culture new's I finally went to my Soul Arena game, which I got intimedated by because I kept losing once I was leveled up enough to fight people who actually knew what they were doing.... What was that other Arena game? Nakutrue Arena? I dunno, some weird anime....But yeah, Myspace, Facebook, and Tweeter or whatever are all evil..... Like Walmart and McDonald's they are all trieing to take over the world..... In case you didn't know,
While day-dreaming, I heard the door open and close and braced myself for Jiraiya, but, realizeing it's almost lunch-time, I leave my room to smooch some food-money outta him,
"You ba-" I walk into the tiny living room and a ninja seem's to be standing in the doorway, stareing at me like a deer in headlight's, "....Mr. Hatake?"
"N- wait, NARUTO!?" The totally awsome Kakashi Hatake, the Science teacher at my old school, known for wearing turtleneck's in summer that would hide his face (I will NOT tell you about the time me, Sasuke, and his one fangirl Sakura tried to see what his face looked like....) He was currently doing the same dressed intirely in black,
"....Mr. Hatake? what are you doing in my house?" I said slowly, creeped totally-frickin-out,
".....Oh! Oh my! this isn't MY house!" He said innocently, looking around, little doe's he realize that I actually know that his house is a totally awsome mansion resembleing the White House.... And under my collar is- ugh, sorry, I won't get into it now,
"Kakashi, are you a fan of my guardian's porn?"
"What! well of course not! It's just that-..... How are you Naruto?" I looked at him, but since he's my favorite ol' teacher I play along,
"...I'm fine, nice and normal, hey, I'll be seeing you in class eventually again, just need the gossip to go," I said, he seemingly smiled and waved, leaveing.
After that, I picked up my backpack, Went downstair's, locked the door with the security thingy, and voila, I leave to go nowhere
-------Later
Sight-seeing, never again in this town will I be backed into a corner and forced to go to something like 'Mr Happy's' again, I am very tempted to skip, but force myself not to,
I stop in one of those really cool-but-super-nerdy bookstore's that's a BOOKSTORE, MOVIE STORE, CAFE, AND HANG-OUT all in one... With free first-come-first-serve computer's,
I browse Manga and everything rela- is that a Anime-related energy drink? ugh, you just know something's too popular when it has it's own energy drink.... And, a entire clothing line?
"Like' Ohmygod, Sasori-no-Danna look at this energy drink! Hm!" Some low-voiced blonde girl behind me sqeed,
"Eh! like' ohmygod! we SO need it now! How about you just shut up and get what you dragged me here for?" Her creepy boyfriend mimicked her and growled,
I run from the Pop culture and go to the actual book's, suddenly thinking that maybe I could find something to do a extra-credit book report on next time I get a bad grade, oh how smart I am, thinking ahead SO much,
"Naruto?" I turn and- DOHMIGOSHETSCOACHYROSHI!!!!!!!!!
"Coachy Roshi!!" I exclaim stupidly,
"What did you just call me?"
".... Coachy Roshi!" Arm's still in air,
"....Creative, I can see," He groan's "What'er you doing here? I didn't expect you for the 'smart type' "
"I'm here cause I have no life!" I smile, once you have a cool nickname for them, angry old people are so much fun, ex di,
"Interesting, I'm here for.... Well, let's just say Kirabi's gotten bored with his mag's,"
"Will you buy ME porn Mister Coac-"
"Don't say it, and no, Your brain is as fried as it is,"
"But so is Kirabi's!"
"His has no hope,"
"Neither doe's mine! trust me! I'm gonna be a good-for nothin' perverted child the rest of my life!"
He smile's, trieing not to laugh, "Good luck then! but still..... No,"
"You suck," I whine,
"So do tha' bunnie's Naruto. So do tha' bunnie's," I smile as he walk's past me to the check out, I follow him, and at the check out counter a li'l pink book catch's my eye, 'Make-out Paradise! Oprah bookclub and New York Times' number 1 best seller!' and just about every other sticker you can think of, but one small area was still clean of any sticker-mania, 'Best seller's author Jiraiya Gamasage'..... Holy frickle stickle's duck's and kitten's oh MIGHTY!!!
I look at the book, then look back at Roshi, "You have a ID with your age right?"
He look's at me surprised for a minute, "Yeah, but tha' idiot's at the DMV got the picture blanked out, why?"
I smile, "Can I borrow it?"
------Later
"Make-Out Paradise kinda doe's count as porn ya' know," He groan's,
"It doesn't have picture's, though," I say, my nose burried in a book for the first time in my life,
"But it describe's sexual intercourse," He explain's, sounding like me,
"Don't try an' use big word's wit' me, we both know that we have in the past done everything possible to avoid a collage-level word in our usually kindergarden-level conversation's,"
"....You got me, It's still a dirty mag,"
"It's a exotic novel," I joke, he laugh's hard like a monkey and walk's past me,
"See ya' tomarrow Naruto, all day ah was supposed ta' be helping the other teacher's put up the scoreboard from yesterday,"
"So your gonna do it now?"
"No, I'm gunna go to a church and then use it as a un-deniable alibi,"
"I saw you there!" I waved and he walked away with a noticeable skip in his step, I give in and skip home,
------Ichiraku
Jiraiya was begining his next novel (Do Author's ever, like, run outta idea's? how many book's has that damned Nora Robert's pulled out her hind'?!) So I snuck his one most famous work into my room easily,
It was actually boring at some part's, but still kept me reading, love, rejection, love again, jealousy, love, happily-ever-after with obvious sequel clue's, and not as much hard-core sex scene's that I expected, yet, strangely I wasn't dissapointed, I actually laughed at it a couple time's, everything was so childish, sounded just like Jiraiya,
But, yeah, there's my basic porn-review, I get off my lazy butt to call Sasuke, whom is probably at Iruka's by now, I play the iPod on my way down, the screaming pretty dull, but still like a nagging wife in my ear,
I was six year's old
when my parent's ran away
I was stuck inside a world
I could not wish away
she was beautiful
she had everything and more
and my escape
was running out
and heading for the door
somebody listen please
used to be so hard, bein' me
Livin' in the Shadow
of someone else' dream
triein' to find a hand to hold
but every touch felt cold to me
living in a nightmare
of never-ending sleep
but now that I am wide awake
I can finally see
don't feel sorry for me,
"Helllllo?" I said into the phone,
"Hi Naruto!" Moegi's cheery, less annoying-then-Konohamaru's voice said, "Just a second," I pulled the receiver away predicting the following "KO-NOHAAAAAAAA-MARUUUUUUUUUUUUU NAAAAAAAAAARUTOOOOOOOOO'S ON THE PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!" Ow, still hurt,
"Hi Naruto! you remembered to call this time!!!"
"Yeah, well I had nothing to do today, where were you?"
"Helping your hubbie! Sasuke! phooooooooooooone!" He called, and then speaker was put on,
"Hello Naruto!" Iruka said, and I heard the distinct barking of both Akamaru and Kiba in the background,
"Hey Iruka, oh, before I forget, THANK'S SHINO! for the present you left on my Sims page!" I imagined Shino in the background fixing his glasses as he smiled inside,
"Your welcome Naruto, I'm glad you liked it," Heh, gotta remember to change all my password's,
Kiba piped up " My mom's picking me up tomarrow Naruto! I'll send you the phone number on Deviant art!"
"Got's it,"
I heard thumping down the stair's in the background and Sasuke's voice, "Hi Naruto!" Ohmygoawd did he just sound chippy? THE WORLD IS ENDING!
"Sasuke? you okay?" I said, stunned,
"Yea, peachy!" He turned speaker off as Konohamaru whined and he left the room "Hi Naruto!"
"Sasuke, as you speak I'm imagineing you in a frilly pink skirt, please deny me,"
"I'm in jean's,"
"Good, now, what the hell is up?"
"Nothin' just hyper, just, yeah, an' I'm going back to the last house in a couple day's," He said, still hyped, and it was very clear he was smileing, which.... he.... is not.... known... to do......
"Annnnnd? becuuuuuuuz?"
"Cause' "
"Causssse?"
"Cause' I'm getting close,"
"Awsome, awsome, now please go back to your character Sasuke, your scareing me so much I wanna cry,"
" Kay' " Not, helping....
".....I read a porn book today,"
"Coooool,"
"...An'..... I'm sorry your still scareing me,"
"Here's the other's," He put speaker back on
"HIIIIII NARUTOOOOOOOOO!!!" Konohamaru yelled once again,
"....Hi Kono,"
-----------------------------------------------------
WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!......
Yayz XD
BUH-BYEZ! (oh, but first!)
Joke 'O' the Day: When I was going through my old unpublished fan fic's, I found thing's I said about Naruto before I became addicted. As in back when it first aired on Cartoon Network and I only bothered to watch- ohhhh the first four episode's, cause back then I didn't like actiony stuff (And back then my favorite character's were Sakura and Iruka, my opinion on them now? Sakura: BITCH mean, snooty, obsessed little WENCH. Iruka: WHY IS HE STILL POPULAR? FOR ONE LINE HE SAID IN THE FIRST EPISODE?! HE'S FINE BUT GEEZ, WHY DON'T YA'LL VOTE FOR ANOTHER BACKGROUND CHARACTER LIKE GENMA!?) So anyway, I had made a stupid rant-Klonoa fan fic of them playing 7 Minute's in heaven, and the beginning Author's Note was- and I quote, "DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY NARUTO 7 MINUTE'S IN HEAVEN FAN FIC'S THERE ARE ON QUIZILLA?!!?!???!?!?!?!??..... Alot, I keep getting the guy with the dog, and once I got Naruto, then the sand guy, and the one teacher (THE ONE WITH THE SCAR!! NOT THE OTHER CREEPY ONE!)" ..... Un-quote
..... I CAN'T BELIEVE I REFERRED TO MY PRESIOUS KAKASHIZ AS 'THE OTHER CREEPY ONE' I'm so sorry Kakyz I LUBZ U!..... Okay I have the same nickname for both Kakashi and Kakuzu . .... I've taken more since, Sasuke: 2(in one Sakura and Ino were pissed cause they through the party, the other Ino possesed me, but I killed myself to kill Ino cause apparently I hate her, and then Sasuke kill's himself for almost going in with Ino). Naruto: 5(His were alway's sweet ^_^ AND HE HAD A NICE CHEST IN THE ONE! I lub Naruto XD). Iruka: 2(I don't remember the one, and the other? Looking back, I realize that that was so frickin' f0cked up, I mean, he pushed me to the floor and kissed me for the whole time O_O). Shino: 2(I liiiiiike Shino, he surrounded me with butterfly's. And apparently he's cute without a jacket and sunglasses on). Kiba: 6(I'm a bitch magnet XD I have no idea how to say it, but for some reason we never got together at the end, and in one AKAMARU got more action then him). Gaara: 2(HE RAPED ME!.... and in the other we got married O_O niiiiice.... Okay, I've just decided I am NOT a Gar-fan... sorry,). Kankuro: 1(I don't remember what happened, which suck's, I wanna find it again cause he's AWSOME) and last but never the least, Shikamaru: 4(He wuz niiiiiiice, yet is a good kisser....Just what I've imagined XD I'm such a whore,)
......GO READ THE NEXT NOW! I'M DONE! I'M DONE WITH THE TALKING OF NARUTO'S HOT (Sorry, but in SOME scene's, Naruto's hotter then Sasuke) KYAA! DON'T LISTEN TO THE FAN-GIRL FANTASY'S OF ME! READ THE STORY! READ THE STORY!.... I wanna go find a Akatsuki one now XD and if I don't find one then I'LL MAKE ONE!..... crap, what's my password?..... Oh geez I just wanna find another one so I can get Naru-Chan! XD.... Sorry, please stop reading this, I'm not even listening to me..... I want to get a Sasuke one where we actually MAKE IT TO THE CLOSET.... wonder if Sasori'd rape me?....yea he would..... ohhhhh Hidan..... No, he'd be OOC.... As in he WOULDN'T kill me..... Pain would be sweet, but not do anything and explain that he love's Konan,
