"Aw, man. You're an ass." Matt gasped as he watched Todd flush the drugs down the toilet.
Todd shrugged. "You'll thank me later." He sat beside Matt on the bathroom floor. Matt had convinced Mello to wait outside the room. "You're too high to see it right now." Todd continued.
Matt rested his head on his friend's shoulder like they used to do when they were living on the street. "I'm going to feel like shit tomorrow."
"Yeah, I know." Todd wrapped his arm around Matt's shoulders. "Don't worry. I guess I'm stuck here, so you can count on me. You could always tell you're boyfriend. I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think. He seems to really care."
"He would be so disappointed. I told him, I promised, I would give it up."
"It's not that bad." Todd reassured him. "You could still be living on the street."
Silence. "Todd…I have to throw up."
Todd helped Matt to the toilet and handed him a paper cup filled with water when he finished retching.
Matt lay on the floor and looked up at the ceiling. "I can remember." He whispered.
"Remember what?"
"Everything that happened to me." Sorrow written all over the gamer's face.
"Don't think too much about it. Come on. Let's go sit on you're huge ass bed." Todd helped Matt up and walked out the bathroom.
"Who are you?" Near asked as soon as they came out.
"I'm Todd, Matt's friend." As soon as Todd saw Jay, all the naturally cheeriness he had about him vanished and was replaced when Todd pursed his lips, his eyes widened to something akin to horror.
Jay stared at the nervous black teen for a moment. "Don't I know you?" He asked.
Todd took off running with Jay right behind him.
"Hey!" Matt yelled. "Jay, leave him the fuck alone." With Near beside him, they caught up to the others. Jay had Todd by the scruff of his shirt and he was struggling violently to escape his grasp. Everyone spoke at once.
"Get the fuck off me." Todd said through clenched teeth.
"What are you doing? Let him go, Jay." Matt implored the Mafioso.
"What's going on?" Near asked.
"Would you all shut up?" Jay's voice rose over theirs. "Would you calm down, kid?" He told Todd.
"What's going on, Jay?" Matt asked.
"I've been looking for this kid for months." Jay kept tight hold on Todd's shirt.
"Please, don't bring me back there. I'll do whatever you want. Please." Todd begged.
"What is he talking about?" Matt demanded to know. Everyone started talking at once again.
"Shut the fuck up so I can explain." Jay cut them off. "I'm doing this as a favor. Todd, you're coming with me." He dragged Todd by the collar, begging and sobbing, down the corridor.
Matt and Near followed. "What the hell? You didn't even explain." Matt exclaimed.
"You two stay here." Jay told Near and Matt. Near shrugged and played with his hair.
"The hell I am. I'm going with you." Matt stubbornly stood his ground.
Jay looked skyward in an effort to maintain some patience. "Would you calm down? I'll bring you're friend back, safe and sound."
"You had better." Matt glared at the Mafioso.
Jay bent a little so they were eye level. "After all this time you still don't trust me?"
"Of course I do." Matt answered without hesitation.
"Good. Stay here." He left, dragging a protesting Todd behind him.
Near looked at the red-head. "He is your friend?"
"He's the first person I met when I came to the States. We were together on the streets. I got my own place, eventually, and asked if he wanted to stay but he said he didn't want to be a bother. I haven't seen him in forever." Matt took a cigarette from his pocket. They were silent for a moment until a thought popped into Matt's head. "Where's Mello?"
Near shrugged. "I don't know. Gevanni's missing as well." Near pouted. "I needed him to keep on eye on someone for me."
Matt looked thoughtful for a moment but immediately dismissed the bitter thoughts he had. "What's with you and Jay?" He asked as they walked together through the hallways.
"Nothing." Near was emotionless as always. "We've become good friends."
"Friends? You two look like more than friends." Matt took a pull from the cigarette.
"We're just friends. Besides, I still like you." He gave Matt a side glance. "But you like Mello. I guess it's better this way. Everyone at the orphanage always said I was going to be alone. But," he smiled jovially. "I think that this is a good thing. When you like someone too much, you get distracted."
Matt shrugged. "If that's what you want but you're not alone. I guess the now I consider you my friend."
--------------------
Two hours later Matt was alone staring at the ceiling from his bed. Near had left to work on the Kira case while Mello was off doing whatever it was he was doing. Jay and Todd were still out and Matt was beginning to worry. It wasn't as if he didn't trust Jay, but the way Todd reacted set off alarms in Matt's head.
Matt let out an exasperated breath. He was craving the drugs again. He got up and paced around the room, unable to think about anything but how he couldn't remember being kidnapped when he was on the drug. Those thoughts only led to actually thinking about being kidnapped. Matt was so upset he took his gameboy off the dresser and threw it against the wall.
"Fuck!" He yelled and collapsed to his knees, sobbing pitifully and grabbing fistfuls his hair. He tore the sheets from the bed in a fit of pure anger. When there were no more sheets on the bed he began clawing at the walls. It felt as if his chest was caving in and he needed room to breath. He left scratch marks on the wall but he didn't care. The pain of his fingers distracted him from any other thoughts and that was all he asked for. A distraction.
Someone grabbed him from behind but carefully so as not to hurt him.
"Get the fuck off me." Matt struggled violently to get away. "You fucking bastard." He yelled.
"It's me, Matt. Don't worry, I'm here." A voice said soothingly.
Matt went limp and cried. "Todd…Todd, I…I can't do this."
"What?" His friend asked.
"Live. It hurts... everyday."
"You can do it. I know it's hard but I'm here now and it'll get better. I promise." Todd kissed the back of Matt's head gently.
