A/N I must admit, I've done a terrible job at time management on this one, even by my standards. I went through about a week of researching for this fight, before all the big events at school slapped me over the face, and consumed my attentions for the last two weeks. So this chapter is several days late, and more than a week after my opponent was finished. So huge apologies for that, and huge thanks to the judges for not having judged it already. Go and read Khellan Rafe's entry, it is shorter, but densely packed with jokery-ninjary goodness. And after I read it, I had a revelation of just how wrong Kakahi is in my story. Nonetheless, here it is:

The Joker hissed at the pain, as the heat from the stick seared the flesh on the tip of his finger. He smiled though; it was a sign of progress. The persistent overcast skies, with occasional showers, made it challenging to find the right time to light a fire. He had started to wish he had used the one he had made days ago in the swamp. But wishing was futile now. The final embers of that tiny campfire were long gone, as was the unconscious women he had left lying by it. Where she had gone, the Joker had no idea. He didn't care either. What he cared about now was igniting a flame; if he could get even the tiniest spark to work with he could fan a merry little blaze into existence, but the slightly-damp sticks were making a difficult task impossible. The wind wasn't helping either. Once he had the flame, he would have to be extremely careful not to allow it to succumb to the howling gales. It would help in the long run though: the intensity of the wind would promote intensity in the flames. With a little luck, and perhaps patience too, it would change direction slightly, and send his little flame-fest charging at the nearest enforcer bunker. Certainly, they were impossible to penetrate with any kind of available weaponry, but with a forest fire it would be simple: anyone inside would be roasted alive in the oven-like temperatures. With them gone, The Joker could spend as long as he wanted, using any method he like to slowly force his way in and recover whatever valuables were in their possession. A napalm bomb would be ideal. A box of matches would be just as good. The Joker gave his finger a short suck to ease the pain, and then continued his patient stick rubbing.

He was crouched down at the crest of a small hill, where a small break in the trees had allowed a tiny patch of grass to grow. On top of the grass, the joker had laid out dried leaves, dead branches, twigs, and other flammable debris and shrapnel he could find. Some of it wasn't flammable; but that didn't bother him much. The stack almost filled the metre-wide clearing, spilling out into the foliage all around where the Joker intended the flames to spread. Only after he had assembled the bonfire, he realized that it would have been better constructed with a beach behind him to fall back on, rather than the cliff edge behind him. But the thought didn't faze him for too long though; he wasn't there to try to keep himself alive. He was there to deny others that right. The Joker continued, up and down, rub rub rub, patiently and consistently, his hands cycling quickly back and forth. Suddenly, he got a spark.

Hatake Kakashi was almost enjoying wandering the island. The freedom he had, once BORED believed he was stuck in his tiny apartment, was satisfying. Now, at last, he could explore, unseen, wherever he pleased… find out what was really going on in this twisted tournament.

His first step, he decided, was to check out his competition. The enforcers he knew, and each was accounted for. Although each of their exact abilities remained vague, Kakashi was confident that his own were equal, if not greater. The more difficult task was now to gather information on the contestants. The files given to him by BORED were bogus; Kakashi had watched several of the fights throughout that week, and while no individual blew his mind, he had observed several abilities on display that had raised his eyebrow. His covered brow, of course. Never would he let on his emotions to anyone watching him; which of course, was no one. Searching and comparing the files, Kakashi had come to the conclusion that they were inadequate, and a hindrance. If he was going to take a proper part in this tournament, he would have to know what he was up against.

So, Hatake Kakashi had continued watching fights; unobserved, from up in the trees. He recorded mental notes of everything he saw, committing to memory every distinguishing move and style of every living competitor that he witnessed. Back in his mini fortress, a shadow of himself had taken up residence; sleeping, eating, and writing things down. It also spent a good portion of its time watching the goings on around the island through cameras hidden in the foliage. Kakashi didn't much care for this perspective; nothing could replace the knowledge, and of course excitement, that came with being in the centre of the conflicts. Still, it was useful to know exactly when he was in view, and whether or not BORED might be able to figure him out.

Presently, Kakashi was on the hunt for one of the more elusive characters in this brutal game. He had been given a file on one Mick Bronson, only to be told hours later that Mick Bronson was dead. He had been given another file on the man who seemed to have unofficially taken his place; one called The Joker. The paper was decorated with about two lines of information:

The Joker is a fugitive from Gotham City. He is known to be wearing clown makeup, is armed, and potentially dangerous. Terminate on sight.

This accompanied by a tiny low-res picture of a blurred face; white and green and red. There was an intense bloodlust in his eyes, visible even through the tiny pixel count provided, and they were staring straight at the lens. From what Kakashi could tell, the man was in the middle of decapitating the camera when it snapped the shot.

Officially, Kakashi would not see the Joker; so he did not think there was a need to kill him on sight. But the amount of information provided was the real joke. He had been taught on the proverb: if you know yourself, and you know your enemy, then you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. Nothing was more dangerous now than an unknown opponent.

Kakashi stopped in his tracks, interrupting his train of thought. He could smell something. He climbed a little bit higher up the tree he had just jumped to, poking his head out the top of the canopy. In the distance, a plume of smoke was snaking its way heavenward, apparently originating from near the Cliffside. Kakashi had a good sense of direction. He was fairly sure it was the cliffs on the northeast corner of the island. A fire, most likely started by some kind of fight. Kakashi resolved to put his hunt for the Joker on hold, in favour of some instant action to observe. Perhaps he'd even get lucky, and the Joker was the one fighting. Not likely though.

The spark had vanished about an instant after it had appeared. That was the final straw; the Joker had snatched up a handgun from his jacket pocket, and just one sprinkle of gunpowder, and a bullet later, his fire was roaring. With a satisfied grin, despite wasting precious ammunition, The Joker had taken up a stick, and began roasting some mushrooms he had found earlier, watching the fire as it grew, and spread outwards, slowly engulfing the trees in front of him…

Eventually, The Joker was forced to move; forest fires are hardly the safest places to hang about. He had devoured the mushrooms hungrily, and so far there were no serious side effects. His constant paranoia may have been a touch more sensitive though. He was sitting in a tree, several hundred metres from the blaze, which was quite quickly burning inland. He was watching the front move through a pair of binoculars he had salvaged from the SWAT van. Something else had caught his eye though, much further down in the ocean of green; he could have sworn he'd seen a head poke up above the trees. He quickly snapped his magnified vision over to the spot. The head was gone. He kept his focus though, watching and waiting… patience was the key. Before long, there was a disturbance in the leaves a little closer. Another, a second later, still further. Somebody was coming, moving through the treetops, at speed. Joker smiled. His forest fire wasn't going the direction he had planned, but at least there was one person there he could terrorize.

Kakashi shot through the trees, leaping and swinging through the canopy like a monkey, but with the speed of a cheetah. As he drew closer to the flames, he began to smell the ever-thickening smoke closing in around him. The blaze was tall enough now to see from afar. When he had reached what he suspected to be the source of the flames, the Jonin slowed suddenly, exchanging his rapid leaps for careful footsteps. He made no sound, barely rustling the leaves as he crept along the branches. Around him, the roar of the fire presided fiercely over the forest, coupled with the intense hear. Kakashi could feel sweat building up all over his body. Looking at his hands, he could see the droplets beginning to form in the deep red light. He wiped them off on his robe, and peered slowly into a clearing.

Kakashi had trained for years in all manners of survival techniques, and one small part of that had been fire tracking. Looking down, he could see the ashes of what would have once been a pile of flammable debris. Clearly it had been deliberately placed there; and in such a way that the fire spread outwards, leaving the space behind it completely clear of the flame. The wind was still blowing in a favourable direction, pushing the inferno further and further from his position. There was no one there now, but Kakashi could see a rock, conveniently placed for sitting, with two footprints on the ground before it. Clearly this person had had some sort of similar training, and was certainly not one to be underestimated. Kakashi turned, beginning his way to tracking down the arsonist… and suddenly felt a knife press against his forehead.

The Joker almost collapsed with glee, cackling like a crazed cuckoo, guffawing his guts out at the stunned look in Kakashi's single visible eye.

"Wow! Oh Wowwahahaha… haaahhhoohoeehheee… Wow! I've have my moments of fun on this island, but nothing, nothing, has come close to this!" Kakashi held completely still, not willing to bet his own reaction time against this mysterious figure. He already knew who it was; the clown make-up, and maddening laughter gave it away in an instant, but Kakashi had no idea what the Joker really was, or what he may be capable of. He had already managed to sneak up on him; granted the roaring inferno, and the Jonin's lack of focus were important factors in that. Kakashi decided to allow Joker the upper hand, for a moment. He would have to talk his way out of it.

"Put that thing away Joker, and I'll leave you alone. I'm an enforcer, I'm not here to fight." A lie, Kakashi knew full well that now he had found the Joker, it was his responsibility to ensure that he didn't escape alive. But the Joker didn't know that. Probably.

"Oh, you're not are you? Why are you here then? To control the contest? You should know then- you should just be able to tell…" The Joker slowly moved his knife downward, towards Kakashi's throat, bringing his face inches from Kakashi's

"You can't control something like this… it doesn't work that way. You let a whole bunch of guys, guys just looking for some kind of trouble. You let them loose on an island like this, and all you're going to get… is chaos. I'm an agent of chaos. I like things that burn… things that explode… things that hurt people… things that can kill people…"

"You're sick!" spat Kakashi.

"Not that you're any different! Ha! Look at you, sneaking around, jumping out at people to kill them. That's a cold way to do things, even by my standards… Did you notice that I haven't killed you yet? Did you even remember to thank me for that?"

"I'm not looking to kill people."

"Oh, but you will. By the time this whole… competition thing comes to a head, you won't know who you're working for; you won't care who you kill. Just as long as you survive. Because that's what it's all about. Survival. Once you're here the only way out is as the victor" Kakashi had had enough of this drivel. Joker's imposing manner, and aggravating tendency to lick his chops was playing on the Jonin's nerves.

"I could have killed you the moment I saw you! I think you're the one who should be thanking me."

The Joker laughed, and pressed his knife harder against Kakashi's skin. The Elite Ninja felt a thin trickle of blood run down into his shirt.

"You haven't shown me anything that makes me believe that. I'll have to see you in action first. Hit me!" Kakashi was stunned, though he hid it from his face. He stared blankly at the maniac for a second, before the Joker repealed his knife, and began teetering from one leg to another, rambling under his breath.

"Come on… come on, hit me. I want you to… Hit me! Come on, you can do it… Hit me, I want you to do it… come on, hit me…" Kakashi slowly stood up, one hand straying gradually toward the Shurikin at his belt. He wasn't here to fight, and this maniac was probably harmless, save for the knife. Now he had seen the Joker, there wasn't much more he needed from him at the moment. As he stood, Kakashi noticed something; the wind had changed direction.

"Come on… I want you do it… I want you to… HIT ME!" The Joker ended, with a cry; a battle cry. He hurled himself forward, at a speed that surprised the Ninja. Surprised him, but didn't throw him off completely. Joker had barely tensed when Kakashi moved into his fighting stance. A flurry of punches came his way, and he ducked, grabbing onto the tree branch, and allowing gravity to pull him into a swing, down and back up onto the limb. In less than a second, he appeared behind the Joker, still flailing madly forwards. Kakashi stopped for a moment to roll his eye, waiting for the clown to turn around. Once he did, a quick jab in the stomach sent the creep tumbling downwards… laughing all the way.

The Joker collapsed onto the ash, spluttering up the last of his laughter. The ground here was still quite hot, and reeked of smoke and burnt foliage. The smoky haze was far thicker, and the heat persisted in being intense. Kakashi leapt downwards, landing lightly on his feet.

"Thank you Joker, it has been an informative encounter." Kakashi was about to turn and walk away, when he heard the gun go off… and felt it tear through his skin. There were several shots, as the clown unloaded all 24 rounds towards the ninja.

The Joker chuckled as he dropped the smoking handgun onto the wasted ground.

"I missed! I can't believe it, I missed!" He laughed, madly. Kakashi's arm was stinging severely where one bullet had gone straight through it, but he didn't flinch. He stopped in mid turn, and strode angrily over to the Joker, who continued to lie on his back, laughter bellowing forth from deep within his lungs. Kakashi leaned over him and whispered.

"Officially, I was never here, so I was planning on leaving you alone to kill you later… But accidents do happen in the jungle. Have you ever been sliced open by a ninja's blade?"

"Bring it on!" Joker grabbed the Ninja's collar, dragging him down to the dusty ashen floor. Kakashi went down swinging, catching the Joker square in the face with his fist. Punches were frowned upon at the Ninja Academy, but in the heat of the moment, Kakashi didn't care. He swept Jokers arms away with his own still-functional one, and landed with a somersault, rolling until he was on knees.

The Joker leapt up, kicking the handgun off into the thick of the wood. Behind him was nothing but ash and smoke, lit by the fast sheet of flames still burning in the distance. To anyone else, he may have looked like a demon; but all Kakashi could see was his prey. The Joker drew out another knife from inside his tainted purple jacket – this one more of a machete. Kakashi drew his own weapon; what appeared to be a spear tip, made of metal, with a short handle wrapped in fabric. There was a ring on the end, a few finger-widths wide. Although his left arm now hung uselessly by his side, his right arm was tensing up, ready for blood. No more fooling around; Kakashi was going to punish this creepy clown.

Joker leapt forward first, falling at Kakashi with such die hard ferocity, the Ninja was forced to take a step backwards. But it wasn't a trend; even with one arm shot and bleeding, he was still one of the greatest Ninja's in the academy, and certainly the greatest on this island. He parried Joker a few times, although the heavy, rusted metal on the machete left sharp indents in the newer but softer spear tips; Kakashi soon resorted to dodging the crazed strokes that the madman flung his way.

Joker stepped backwards, further and further, despite hurling offensive blows all the way. Before long though, he found himself backed up to a tree… and sweating in the heat. There was a sudden lull in the fighting as the combatants stopped and noticed the tree. It was on fire – utterly ablaze. The flames had totally consumed every other tree beyond it, turning the entire tropical jungle into a scene from the pits of hell. The thunderous roar of the flames, neither of the two had noticed until the sparring stopped, was now overpowering, like the worlds largest waterfall, magnified a hundred times, inside a tiny room. The heat was worse than any oven the Joker had ever put his hands into – and it's ability to wear the two down was second only to the encroaching smoke billowing forth from the pinnacle of the flames, only to waft downwards and consume the two fighters.

Kakashi smiled behind his headscarf. He had felt the wind, and seen the fire coming. Now all it would take was a good hard push or kick, to send his opponent flying into a slow, painful, death. He focussed his attention back onto the Joker, and was confronted by a sudden push forward; the Joker had taken advantage of Kakashi's momentary distraction, and thrust himself forward, machete first, charging like a champion jouster. Kakashi took a quick side step to avoid the blade, and then turned around to face his foe. The tables had turned; the Joker was in prime position to force the Jonin back into the flames. Kakashi championed on. Behind him, he could feel the heat, as if it would set fire to the hair on his neck. To his left he could see the flames were 20 metres further up, and the right not much more. He was standing on the edge of a wall of flame, desperately pushing forwards. He threw his strikes hard onto the clown, most of them without a specific target other than to force the Joker back. His arm was numb, but continued to bleed, splattering precious red liquid all over him, and the trees… moments before the fire engulfed them. The Joker marched backwards; yielding to the desperate throws hammering down on him. The delicate art of swordplay wasn't the Jokers strength, but his mad swinging blocked most of the blows despite. The spear head managed to reach him several times, ripping holes into his suit, and his flesh. He laughed, but no one could hear him. Kakashi was bellowing, but he might as well have been silent. Nothing could overpower the unstoppable howls of contentment, as the fire burned its way, metre by metre, through the jungle.

Then finally, they stopped. The Joker found himself stepping out into the open, onto rough rocky ground. Kakashi stepped into the clear as well, and felt the salt spray blast his face; a joyous refresher compared to the smog behind him. The two were standing face to face, barely an arms length between them, on a segment of the cliff that jutted out from the rest. A narrow strip, without trees, without any other place to go. Behind Kakashi was the fire, seconds away from consuming the last of their jungle battleground. Behind the Joker was a vertical drop, about the equivalent of a 10-storey building, straight down into the tumultuous waters beneath. Jagged rocks poked their heads out of the water, and there was even a long forgotten shipwreck to complete the grim picture. There was no escape.

Kakashi breathed deeply, and shuddered. This had started as just a simple scouting exercise. Now it was kill or be killed, damned if he did, damned if he didn't. The Joker breathed deeply, and grinned. His apparent ignorance of the situation was almost unnerving to Kakashi.

"Do you want to know…" The clown shouted over the wind and the flames, breathless though he was, "Why I use a knife?" The Joker drew back his machete, holding it out in a sign of peace. Kakashi didn't give in. He wouldn't trust this man an inch. Slightly offended by his silence, Joker continued. "I find that guns are just a little too…QUICK!" On the last word, the Joker suddenly reached into a hidden pocket inside his jacket, and whipped out… a second pistol. He fired blindly, emptying most of the 23 bullets that remained, catching Kakashi several times in the stomach. The Jonin fell, and the Joker walked over to him. Joker picked him up, holding him in his arms. He took his knife back, and pressing it against Kakashi's throat, gently aligning it with the incision he had made earlier. He continued. "You can't savour all the little emotions… You know, in their final moments… that's when people show you who they truly are… Who are you really, Ninja?"

Kakashi grabbed the Jokers throat, ignoring the knife against his own. He could barely stand, but he pulled the clown down, slamming the back of his head on the gravel of the cliff. To his frustration, the face came up smiling. The Joker lashed out with his feet now, kicking him in the gut, and sending the Jonin flying across, dangerously close to the edge. The Joker stood, and strode over to him. He took two more shots, this time at Kakashi's knees. Cringing with pain, Kakashi grabbed at the Joker's feet with his one good limb.

"You are a fighter… something you should be proud of. You died fighting a good fight." With one last brutal kick to the head, Kakashi was thrown backwards, over the cliff. Looking up as he fell, he saw the Joker staring back at him from above, a hellish grin on his face, illuminated by occasional spurts of lightning, silhouetted against the fiendish wall of red. It was the last thing Kakashi ever saw, before he struck the water.

The Joker tore his vision from the broken body of the enforcer down below, and set about tending to his wounds. The storm that had been brewing all day was finally coming to a head; apart from the thunder and lightning, he could feel light raindrops pattering against his skin. Soon, the Joker reasoned, the rain would put out the fire, and he would be able to go and find shelter… An enforcers outpost would be ideal…

"Hmm" he said to himself; a simple expression that took on several meanings in his mind. Namely frustration. He had forgotten to steal the enforcer's keycard. That had been the idea behind hunting one of them; because they had what he needed.

Joker leaned over the edge to examine the mangled body below. Definitely dead, definitely un-pilfered, and most definitely, impossible to reach. It would have to be the SWAT van, until he could find another victim. In the meantime, the Joker began to whistle. He still lived, so it wasn't all bad.

Far in the south part of the island, Kakashi's replica had been vacillating between resting, and reading. At the moment of Kakashi's death, it was just finishing off the final chapter of Icha Icha Paradise, when it suddenly began to fade from existence. The shadow of the Elite Ninja watched itself, as its body deteriorated rapidly into the atmosphere. The book clattered to the floor of the bunker, slamming shut, with a sense of finality.

All this was witnessed on-screen by a lackey at BOREDs Headquarters' in the centre of the isle. When the cover thumped closed, it took him about two seconds to start hammering the intercom.

"Quick! Get me Mr Ofdensen! Forget about his day spa, tell him we have an enforcer missing, and potentially rogue!"