Hey folks! Here's chapter 7. This one was tough to write and came out a bit longer than normal but I didn't think y'all would mind.
Enjoy!
-Moki
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Chapter Seven
"Hey, you know I'm not like those guys, right?"
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The sun was nearly down as Gibbs sped closer to his destination. With nothing more than his gut to go by, he hadn't told Vance about his possible missing men. He knew the director would point out calmly that the two had probably been simply out of cell service area, the docks being as remote as they were.
The team leader knew that's what Vance would say since those same words had been going through his head for the past hour. Chances were that nothing was wrong. Tony and McGee could be driving back right at that moment, Tony singing along to the radio and McGee griping that he was doing it too loud.
That's what Gibbs tried to convince himself, but it was no use. That's just not how things worked on his team. He had never seen a group of people who could get into more trouble than his people. Then again, he'd never worked with better so he supposed the extra aggravation was worth it.
At least he hoped so this time.
The team leader didn't often allow himself to wallow in guilt. He'd had enough guilt after losing Shannon and Kelly, he had no use for it most of the time.
But as he drove, watching as the highway lights flashed on, he couldn't help but to think about what he'd done that morning. He had sent his men off alone, knowing that there was trouble brewing between them. Then he'd never bothered to check in with them.
"Idiot!" Gibbs yelled to no one. He slapped the steering wheel, not having a good enough angle to give himself a good smack in the head.
Why had he let them go off like that? Why hadn't he kept them where he could watch them? Why didn't he just ask McGee what his problem was and get it all out in the open? Why had he let Tony go off with a man who was obviously preoccupied with something?
Gibbs had no answers to those questions, knowing that even if he did, none of them would make him feel any better. No matter how many times he asked, there was no good answer to why he'd chosen to abandon his men that morning.
In Gibbs' head, letting them go when he knew that all was not well, was just as bad as leaving a man uncovered in a gunfight. Either way you looked at it, they were vulnerable.
He had seen the tension building up between Tony and McGee and had done nothing about it. He had seen the younger man getting more and more upset at Tony's teasing, not understanding where it came from and why the Senior Field Agent did it.
He hadn't stopped Tony from doing what came naturally, instead he'd just stayed out of the way and hoped that McGee would figure it out eventually.
Gibbs knew that Tony could get on the younger man's nerves with his odd attempts at friendship. Not that he was such a great example himself, Gibbs knew that too. After all, his way of showing how much he cared for the members of his team was to growl and smack them on the head.
It hadn't always been that way though. When Gibbs had Shannon and Kelly in his life he'd had no trouble showing his love for both of them. He was kind, funny, loving, affectionate – all the things that his team thought he wasn't.
He was sure it was one of the reasons he understood Tony so well. Only Ducky had been around him long enough to know that he and his Senior Field Agent had once been very alike.
All of the pain and hurt in each of their lives manifested itself in a different way. Gibbs had closed down while Tony had seemingly opened up (though those closest to him knew that it was all an act). Still, it was a reaction to the same thing.
Losing the people you loved most in your life had a way of changing someone.
It was Mike Franks who brought Gibbs back from the empty husk that he had been after his family died. Gibbs had been so devoid of feelings that he wasn't sure he could ever feel anything for anyone again.
It had started out slow. The first thing that Gibbs had felt any emotion for, had actually been the job. Bringing down a bastard who'd just murdered a young petty officer or putting someone away for spying, these things had opened his heart a little. It had shown him what it was like to feel something other than raw, dripping, pain.
After that he'd finally started to feel something for another person – Franks. It started with respect and ended in true, albeit often bickering, friendship.
Mike had showed Gibbs how much he cared by growling and headslapping. It made perfect sense that when Gibbs was empty of emotion and waiting to be refilled, he took on those very characteristics.
Gibbs understood Tony better than he did McGee. Only he had been able to understand just how hurt DiNozzo had been after the whole Jeanne fiasco. Tony had come so close to having the family he'd always wanted, even if he would have to play the role of "DiNardo" to do it. When it had all been snatched away, Gibbs had worried that Tony would never bounce back.
He still respected McGee though, and Gibbs was proud to see the younger man turning into a damn fine agent. The team leader would never have anyone on his team who wasn't good at what they did. Their methods may be different, but Gibbs still valued McGee. It was just that, with Tony, they related on a more visceral level.
Gibbs had noticed that McGee liked feeling important around Vance. The new Director had made it very clear that he preferred McGee's type of agent over DiNozzo's.
Vance and McGee were more like cyber-cops. Still good agents, they tended to let technology fill in holes the he and DiNozzo filled with their guts.
As to which type of agent was better, Gibbs didn't know. He just knew that one could not often become the other. He and DiNozzo barely understood how to use their cell phones, but they could still read a crime scene like no one else.
Gibbs came back to the present as he spotted the exit to the docks. He drove slowly between the large buildings, squinting to see the numbers in the barely lit area.
What he hoped to find when he got there, he hadn't bothered to think about. But as Gibbs pulled up and saw another sedan parked outside. he knew that wasn't a good sign.
"Dammit," he whispered.
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After another couple hours of doing basically nothing but sitting on his ass, Tony was getting restless. Waiting had seemed like a good idea but now he wasn't so sure. What was taking so long? He'd expected Gibbs to find them by now or for the bad guys to make a move. Neither had happened and it made him nervous.
Unable to stand it any longer, Tony jumped to his feet. McGee had been dozing lightly and startled awake at the commotion.
"What're you doing?" McGee asked sleepily, blinking his eyes rapidly and looking around for any signs of danger.
"I'm gonna see if I can get us out of here," Tony replied, picking up his flashlight and shining it above them.
McGee moved as if to stand up and join his partner but Tony held up a hand.
"No, just stay there. No need to have you bang up your shoulder unless absolutely necessary. I'm gonna have enough paperwork as it is," Tony said with a grin.
Tony walked off to the corner of the room with the trap door in the ceiling. It suddenly occurred to him that if people were getting things in and out through it then maybe they could get out that way too.
As he made his way past the crates, Tony found an empty space he'd never noticed before. Looking down he saw why and felt a tiny twinge of hope. Below his feet was a metal platform and next to it a pole with a box and keypad. It looked like something one would see in the older parts of town. The box controlled a lift system under the metal platform, carrying things from underground to the floor above.
Tony wasn't sure where the trapdoor above them led but considering they already knew the door in the room led to a ladder and a room full of shooting bad guys, he was willing to take a chance on the new option.
Fiddling with the buttons, Tony frowned slightly as nothing happened. He noticed the keypad and realized why he was getting nowhere. The thing must be controlled with an access code of some sort and without that, it wasn't going to budge.
Sighing in frustration, Tony put his hands on his hips, wondering what to do next. Then inspiration hit him.
"I'm an idiot!" Tony yelled happily, giving himself a good headslap for his stupidity. The Senior Field Agent had completely forgotten the fact that he just so happened to have a Super Geek with him.
Running back to his partner, Tony nearly fell as he stumbled around the corner in his haste.
"Not that I disagree, but why exactly are you an idiot this time?" McGee asked, having heard his partner very clearly from the other side of the room.
"Because I can't break a code…..but you can," Tony replied, holding out his hand and helping McGee to his feet. "C'mon I've got a job for you, Elf Lord."
When McGee saw the keypad, he wasn't nearly as excited as his partner.
"What?" Tony asked, waving his hands at the keyboard. "Can't you do your magic geek thing and make it work?"
"Well yeah, maybe if I had my laptop with all of its decryption software on it. I can't just do it out of thin air, you know." McGee replied with a sigh.
"Wait, so Mr. Perfect doesn't know what to do? When this is your area of expertise?" Tony said, turning around and putting a hand through his hair irritably.
"Don't call me that," McGee said testily, still studying the keypad.
"Why? It's accurate isn't it?" Tony turned back around. Suddenly frustration of the entire day hit him all at once and he wanted to aim it somewhere.
McGee didn't say anything.
"Poor Mr. Perfect. Always perfect and now he's made a mistake and doesn't know what to do," Tony's voice rose as everything pent up inside him came out.
"Stop it, will you?" McGee snapped finally, turning on the other man.
Once look at McGee's face and Tony knew he'd gone too far again. Holding up his hands consolingly, he sighed.
"Sorry, man. All of this," Tony indicated the room around them. "is just getting to me, you know?"
McGee glared at him for another few seconds, breathing deeply. Then he turned and threw himself down on the floor, his back up against the nearest wall. Hissing in pain at what the maneuver did to his shoulder, the younger man massaged it slightly.
Studying his partner curiously for a few moments, Tony slowly walked over to where he sat. Silently sliding his own back down the wall, he sat down next to McGee.
"Hey man, I'm really sorry. I'm just frustrated. I didn't mean any…."
"I know," McGee said with a sigh.
"What's going on, Tim?" Tony asked after a few moments. Once again thinking that there was more going on with his partner than was visible on the surface.
McGee looked at his hand in his lap, pulling at a thread on his jacket before he answered, his voice quiet but clear in the silent room.
"It's just that nickname….'Mr. Perfect'. I hate it. There were these guys in school. They called me that sometimes before they…" McGee paused.
Tony's eyes narrowed. He knew what had come next and it pissed him off. He'd never been one to beat up younger kids. Tease and taunt a little, maybe, but only those he knew could take it and, more often than not, would tease and taunt him right back. Tony never hung out with the boys who got vicious with the smaller kids, either verbally or physically. A few times he'd even come to the rescue of a few of those kids, punching some bullies in the nose and getting himself sent to the Dean's office.
"How old were you?" Tony asked softly.
"I don't know….seven or eight?" McGee replied. "I don't think they liked that I was so….smart." The admission seemed to embarrass him.
"Nothing wrong with being smart, Tim."
"Yeah well, someone should've told these guys that. I found out the hard way that getting the highest grades in the class was the best way to get on their list of kids to beat up after school."
"Did it ever get better?"
"After a while. High school was still pretty bad. I learned how to run but they still caught me a few times. Then there was the time….," he hesitated again.
"It's okay man, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Tony said quickly.
McGee almost took Tony up on the offer, ready to lapse into silence. It would've been easier, not saying anymore, but he couldn't do it. He needed to get it off his chest, especially since the other man had so recently admitted something hard about his own childhood. Besides, it might make him feel better to let Tony know what was going on in his head.
"No it's okay. It's just that in high school these guys found out about my fear of heights. They thought it would be funny to drag me to the roof of the gym then hold me up by my ankles."
"Really?" Tony was shocked.
"That was bad enough, but then one of them lost their grip and…. I fell. Luckily the gym wasn't too high but still…I was in the hospital for a little while."
"Oh God." Tony whispered.
"For some reason after that I was even more afraid of heights." McGee said ruefully with a shrug.
Tony stared ahead for a while, thinking of the implications of what McGee had just said. He knew it couldn't have been easy for the younger man to admit what he just had. There must have been a good reason for him to do so. Something that had to do with why McGee had been so angry with him for so long.
Did that mean?....
Suddenly Tony turned back to McGee, worry in his eyes.
"Hey, you know I'm not like those guys, right?"
