The cell phone vibrated on the nightstand, waking Matt. The red-head reached blindly for it as Mello stirred next to him.
"Dammit, Matt. First night together in forever and you get a call." Mello groaned.
Matt ignored him and answered his phone without bothering to open his eyes. "Hello?" He mumbled sleepily. He sat up as he talked. "No… it's fine. Sure, it's no problem."
"Who was that?" Mello yawned.
"Todd." Matt said while he pulled on a pair of jeans. "He asked if it was alright if he could come over. I'm going to meet him at the door."
"He has a key." Mello reminded him.
"I know but I just want to talk to him for a minute."
"Come back soon. It's lonely without you." Mello latched onto Matt's hand.
"I'll just be a minute." Matt hesitantly leaned over and kissed Mello's forehead.
The blonde sensed his hesitation and sighed. "I made a mistake but it won't happen again. I'll get your trust back, I promise."
"I hope so." Matt said under his breath. He took his hand from Mello grasp and padded across the living room to go meet Todd at the door.
"I'm sorry." Todd said as soon as Matt opened the door. He shifted his weight nervously from one foot to the other.
"Don't be. What's wrong?" Matt rubbed at his eyes and closed the door behind Todd.
"It's stupid but I'm not used to being alone at night." Todd rubbed his arm nervously. "I was always working before Mikey died so I was never alone at night and then I shared a room with you, but now…. I'm pathetic." He bowed his head in shame.
"No you're not." Matt wrapped his arm around his friend's shoulder. "You can stay here until you're ready. We don't mind."
They were interrupted as Jay walked out his room smoking a cigarette.
"What the fuck's going on? Let's go one week where I get a full night's sleep." He complained.
"Sorry I bothered you. I'll leave." Todd almost made it out the door before Matt grabbed his wrist.
"Don't leave." Matt said quickly. He shot a pleading glance at Jay. "You can stay here. Don't worry about it."
"What's going on? It's three in the fucking morning and I'd like to go back to sleep so I can finally get to work and away from you. " Jay said jokingly as he strode over to the couch and sat down heavily.
"Todd's having trouble adjusting to being alone." Matt told him.
Jay shrugged his muscular shoulders. "So? Just stay here until you're ready. You can have my room." He lay down on the couch, long legs stretched out before him so his feet rested on the arm of the couch. He reached over to the coffee table and snuffed out his cigarette in the ashtray.
"I can't do that!" Todd exclaimed. "It wouldn't be fair for me to take your room."
"I just want to sleep. I can't sleep if I feel bad about having you sleep on the couch." Jay explained. "Matt and Mello have done all sorts of unmentionable things on it."
"Criminal my ass." Matt muttered.
"But I—" Todd started.
"You have three seconds before I get up and drag you to bed." Jay warned. "Go."
Matt pulled his friend to Jay's room quickly before the Mafioso made good on his word.
"I'm sorry to put you guys through all this." Todd said. "I mean, you already got me an apartment and furniture. I feel awful about this."
Matt flicked his friend's arm. "Stop apologizing. We like having you around." He smiled. "I'll get you some clean sheets. Who knows what the hell Jay does in here."
"Thanks. I'll help." Todd helped Matt carry the sheets from the closet to the bed. They had the sheets changed in only a few minutes.
"Ok." Matt stretched his arms over of head. "I guess you can chill here and I'll see you in the morning."
"Um…yeah. I'll…see you later then." The nervous arm rubbing returned.
"What?" Matt raised on eyebrow in question.
"Nothing." Todd began shifting around nervously again.
Matt rolled his eyes. "Lay down." He pushed Todd gently onto the bed and laid down next to his friend.
Todd turned to face the red-head laying on the bed next to him. "You don't have to do this."
"Shut up." Matt yawned without any real venom.
Todd laughed softly and leaned forward so their foreheads touched. "Thanks." He whispered.
Within minutes Matt was asleep, forehead still touching Todd's.
_________________________
"What are you doing?"
Matt woke to Mello's face hovering just inches above his own. He sat up and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his hand.
"Shit, I must've fallen asleep." The gamer looked over to his right where Todd was still fast asleep. He looked up at Mello and blinked wearily. "What time is it?"
"It's eight in the morning." Mello answered. "You never came back."
Matt shrugged. "I was exhausted and passed out here. No big deal."
The blonde sighed. "You're right it's no big deal." He stood straight and smoothed out the leather vest he was so fond of. "Do you want me to make you something to eat or do you want to go out?"
"Let's wait for Todd to wake up and then we can go out." He got up and walked past Mello, out the door.
"Sure." Mello said reluctantly and followed Matt to the couch. "Why don't we go out later today? Just the two of us. We haven't done that in a while." Mello stated eagerly.
"Whatever." Matt showed much less enthusiasm.
"We don't have to." Mello assured him.
The red-head turned and looked at his once lover. "We need to talk."
"About what? We can talk about anything you want." Mello said quickly.
"We can't keep doing this."
"Doing what?" Mello became less animated and seemed to withdraw into himself.
"Pretend nothing has happened. A lot of shit has happened since we got back together after Wammy's. I don't know if I can keep doing this."
Mello was quiet for a long while. "So what are you saying? You're leaving me again after you just got back? You…you can't…I can't." Mello doubled over, arms covering his head as his shoulders shook with his sobs.
"Mells, look at me… come on." Matt pried Mello's arms from his head and forced the blonde to look at him. "I'm not saying I'm leaving you. I'm saying we need to talk instead of pretending things never happened."
Mello let out a deep shaky breath and nodded. "Alright, fine. I just… I don't really know how to talk about these things." He held onto Matt's hands which were still holding the side of his head. "I mean, what happened to you was awful and I couldn't help you 'cause I didn't know how." He sobbed. "And when I first found out you where cutting and you almost died and…and I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'm sorry if you felt I wasn't there for you because I'm an idiot who doesn't know how to fucking communicate."
Matt held Mello to his bare chest as he let loose and cried. "See? You're talking already. We can do this." He whispered.
They held on tightly to one another because they both knew they needed it. For a second that was all they needed; to hold and be held.
A/N- I know this took waaaaaaaay longer than usual. I was at an art camp basically watching kids all day which wore me out, so I ended up passing out everyday before I could update. Sorry. Anyway I'll update soon then another week of camp!!! Help me…
