"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." Mello lay his head on Matt's leg. "I left you at Wammy's because I didn't want you to get hurt. I thought that if I left you behind there would be no chance of Kira killing you. I worried about you constantly and when I heard you left…well you know how it all turned out."

"I was devastated when you left. I felt as if I had been used and then just tossed aside." Matt confessed.

"I would never do that. I never meant to make you feel that way."

"I know."

Mello took Matt's hand and held it against his chest. "After I found you in your apartment I…" Mello turned his head away and cleared his throat. "I thought you were going to die and I didn't know what to do. After that I didn't know how to deal with what had happened and++ I thought you preferred not to talk about it so I didn't."

Matt ran his fingers idly through Mello's soft golden locks.

"You were always so quiet." Mello continued. "We never talked about anything. For fuck's sake you never even told me when those guys beat you up."

"It wouldn't have done any good. Besides, would you have cared then? You never seemed to care." Matt said quietly.

"Of course I cared. I always cared."

Matt simply shrugged. "I'm just glad Near got to me before they did any serious damage."

"Near." Mello scowled. "I still don't like him. I don't trust him alone with you. He still likes you."

"It doesn't matter anymore. I liked him once but now we're nothing more than friends."

"I still don't trust him." The blonde muttered. "I'm sorry for what I said to make you go to Near. I don't know why I said what I did. Maybe it's just because I'm an idiot and I always screw things up."

"You're not an idiot. I may have overreacted back then. I should have realized you were just being you. I'm not sorry I left though. I think it was good for me to realize that I am capable of walking away from you." Matt explained.

"I'm sorry you left. I felt so alone without you." Mello shuddered. "Not even Jay helped. That's when I started drinking again."

"Again?"

"I picked up the habit after I left you at Wammy's. I stopped a little while before I found your apartment." He ran the back of his hand over Matt's bare chest. "I'm sorry I left you alone. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you when…when you were taken."

"Don't apologize for that. There was nothing you could have done."

"I could have killed them." Mello said through clenched teeth. "But Near got to them first. Dammit, even Jay got to do it. I wanted to tear them apart with my own hands after I heard what they did to you."

Matt was quiet for a moment, continuously running his fingers through Mello's hair. "You can be so hard sometimes. I used to like that about you. Now it…frightens me. It reminds me of them. The way you both act like you could do anything in the world. You exude power, Mello. I think that's why I unintentionally pushed you away and you ended up with Gevanni."

"It's not your fault I can't keep my pants on. I'm sorry I'm a reminder of them but I can't change who I am."

"And I don't want you to. I just want to get past this so I can look at you and remember the fun we shared. If it hadn't happened though, I don't think I would have found Todd."

Mello looked like he was in thought for a moment. "What were you two doing in the car? You didn't seem quite like yourself but I didn't think it the time to pry."

Matt let out a sigh. "I… took drugs. I needed to forget what happened at least for a little while. I got some drugs took some then Todd showed up."

"You took drugs!" Mello said, sitting up so quickly he narrowly avoiding hitting Matt's nose with his head. "You swore you were done with that shit!"

"And you said I was the only one for you. Looks like we both fucked up." Matt replied calmly. "I only took them once. Todd flushed the rest."

"Someone say my name?" Todd came padding out of the room dressed in the same baggy jeans and tank top he wore the night before.

"We were just talking about how you flushed my drugs." Matt replied.

"What drugs?" Todd asked quickly.

"My drugs. You flushed my drugs." Matt reminded him.

"Oh yeah. I didn't think you'd remember that." Todd grinned nervously.

"Well I did and I want to thank you for it." Matt's smiled.

"I'd like to thank you as well." Mello said. "For being such a great friend and taking care of Matt while I was out being an idiot." He went to stand in front of Todd. "I'm sure your first impression of me wasn't the greatest."

"Considering the first time we met you held a gun to my head, no it's not." Todd shrugged.

"I'd like to ask if we can start over."

"I can do that." Todd grinned.

"Good." Mello extended a hand which Todd shook heartily before letting go.

Matt opened his mouth to say something but before he could Todd turned and stuck his tongue out at the red-head. Matt responded by making a face.

Mello looked at them both strangely but smiled and let them continue to act childishly.

"Anyway, I think I should be going." Todd said.

"Aw, so soon?" Matt asked.

"Yeah, Jay's not here so I figure I'll leave you two alone." Todd glanced at Mello.

"You're welcome to stay as long as you want." Mello assured him.

Todd shook his head. "I really should be going." He gave them both a wave before heading out. "I'll see you later." He called just before closing the door.

Matt watched as Mello stare at the door for a minute. "What is it?" Matt asked.

Mello shook his head. "Maybe it's nothing. I don't know."

"I thought we were talking. You obviously have something on your mind. Care to share?"

Mello sat back down at a careful distance from Matt, staring at his hands folded neatly in front of him. He seemed to be trying to find the right words.

"What is it?" Matt asked.

"How long has it been since Todd's left your sight? Not including yesterday."

"Not long. He disappeared for a few hours during that brief time we were in my old apartment. Why?" Matt started to get suspicious.

"Did you…did you notice how he was starting to shake?"

"No. What are you getting at?" Matt was beginning to get defensive for his friend.

"It was the same with you. When you first started coming off the drugs. It's probably been awhile since his last dose, that's why he ran out of here so quickly." Mello reached for a chocolate bar on the coffee table absent-mindedly.

"You're wrong." Matt was quick to defend his friend. "Todd's not taking drugs. He's not like that."

"Think about where he's been living, what he's been doing. You said you took the drugs to forget for a little while. Maybe that's what he's doing."

"Not Todd." Matt shook his head. "He's stronger than that."

"I hope so. The longer he's been on it, the harder it will be to get him away from it."

"He isn't." Matt said utterly convinced he was right. "Why would you say something like that? I'll go over right now and I'll prove to you he's not using."

"I'll stay here. You do what you need to do." Mello didn't look at him but stared at their reflection in the television screen.

A/N – This took forever to update. Truthfully I'm getting bored with it. It's like a toy I no longer wish to play with. I'm so childish sometimes. Anyway, a few more chapters and I'm done. Hope you guys liked it so far and please remember to read and review. Thanks!